Who needs a “Powertrain warranty”? According to this Connecticut notewriter, if you buy a Ford, you get a lifetime worth of diplomat-worthy parking privileges!
Confession: I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 27. I am a terrible parker. (I am slow, but I try.) If only I had bought a Ford!
related: The Mini Cooper owner’s dilemma — “Save the earth, kill the kids?!”
extra credit: “Chevy” [urbandictionary.com]
66 responses so far ↓
#1
Kathryn C
omg the guy at the dealership totally forgot to tell me about this perk!
*goes off to take up two parking spaces with a Ford F-150*
Apr 6, 2010 at 4:37 pm rating: 15
#2
littlekat
LOL, we were just talking about leaving a note that said, “did you have to park this way or are you just a selfish bastard?” on a car in front of our building.
Apr 6, 2010 at 4:40 pm rating: 4
#3
QuarterRoy00
How dare this person declare Chevy’s suck!
Chevy Chase was a genius!
Apr 6, 2010 at 4:40 pm rating: 7
#4
Just Peachy
I have to say I give mad props to this notewriter. I am so sick of dumb asses not being able to park right. How the fuck did you get a drivers license if you can’t park between two straight lines?
Apr 6, 2010 at 4:41 pm rating: 16
#5
Escape Goat
Where’s the “Dear …”? I give it an 8.9 in PA
Apr 6, 2010 at 4:45 pm rating: 7
#6
Joe Blow
I once drove into a parking lot at the ice rink that was very filled and a guy had parked his town car such that he was nearly occupying three spaces on a weird diagonal. Funny thing was, the lot was full, so I eventually wedged myself in one of his spots. Then I got out and realized that the dude was in the car. I thought he might come after me (any douche who parks like that seems likely to have anger management issues too). Maybe the hockey sticks I was carrying scared him off.
Apr 6, 2010 at 4:49 pm rating: 13
#7
The Girl With Kaleidescope Eyes
My office seems to have an inordinate number of these douche-canoes, and not one of them drives a domestic car.
Apr 6, 2010 at 4:56 pm rating: 3
#8
MAMARILLA2
Smiley face FTW.
Apr 6, 2010 at 5:16 pm rating: 4
#9
Mills
Yes, the smiley face at the end makes it sooooo enjoyable to put down by a person with the penmanship of a fifth grader.
Apr 6, 2010 at 5:25 pm rating: 4
#10
Citrico
At a local high school there was a kid who would angle park over 3 spots to show off his sweet ride. Unfortunately, he did that at graduation, which I had to go to, and featured an overflowing lot. I eventually squeezed my Ford between a School bus and a wall, barely having enough room to get out, because douchewagon had to show off his rockin’ Acura.
If only I had known Fords can park however they want! I would have rigged up a ramp and parked on top of the Acura, and when he complained I’d say “Aha, I’ve got a Ford, I can park where I want!”
Apr 6, 2010 at 5:33 pm rating: 8
#11
Lauri
The only thing that keeps me from leaving notes is the knowledge that sometimes the person could be the victim of the “trickle down bad parking” where there’s already a car parked over the line that forces you to park over the next line. The first car leaves and from then on, you’re the selfish jerk.
Apr 6, 2010 at 6:13 pm rating: 40
#12
Canthz_B
I don’t know why, but I always take it personally when I see those four or five cars parked on an angle in two spaces at the back of the mall parking lot.
It’s as if they’re saying I can’t be trusted to open my car door without dinging their precious rides.
I also feel a lot better after a quick keying.
Apr 6, 2010 at 7:34 pm rating: 38
#13
Pterosaur
If I’m unworthy of a parking space, I’ll just park my Malibu on your lawn.
Thanks
Apr 6, 2010 at 8:26 pm rating: 5
#14
ArfArf
People who dot their “i”‘s with little circles should not be allowed to compose freehand. Ever. I also get the feeling that, not too many years previous to this note-writing, the little circles used to be hearts. And really, what chick vehemently hates Chevy’s unless brainwashed by her father, husband, or boyfriend?
Apr 6, 2010 at 8:49 pm rating: 11
#15
Sally
I think I would cry if someone wrote me this.
And I hate her handwriting.
Apr 6, 2010 at 9:45 pm rating: 3
#16
Critical Grass
Look, there’s a system to it: If you drive a Ford, you can take up 2 parking spaces. But if you drive a car from another brand, you can only park in 1/2 of a parking space, so the good people who drive Fords can park properly. =)
Apr 6, 2010 at 9:52 pm rating: 4
#17
Canthz_B
Ford vs. Chevy? Really? That’s like buying tickets to a world championship heavyweight boxing match, but you can really only stay for the under-card.
Apr 7, 2010 at 1:27 am rating: 2
#18
Canthz_B
In these tough economic times, this note reminds us that even rich people fight over parking spaces!
Get a grip, guys (Mr. Chevy and Mr. Ford). You may as well be debating whether plantar warts beat bunions.
Apr 7, 2010 at 1:33 am rating: 3
#19
Stuart Scrace
This post has more tags than the note has words in it, that seems a little excessive, lollercakes
Apr 7, 2010 at 2:34 am rating: 0
#20
sucktackular
right, since chevys are so much better than fords. oh wait, they’re both american piece of shit cars. good note, though.
Apr 7, 2010 at 6:33 am rating: 3
#21
jaywalke
I like to move the lines so it looks like other people can’t park.
It takes work, but it’s well worth the trouble.
Apr 7, 2010 at 8:09 am rating: 10
#22
flying gargoyle
It is the happy face signature that really makes it ever so truly and dearly passive-aggressive. I’m gonna trade in my car for one of those new sentient Fords. Ad line: “The car that wonders what it needs *you* for!”
Apr 7, 2010 at 8:47 am rating: 3
#23
rave
this note just cemented my theory that people who dot their i’s with open circles rather than dots are one (or both) of the following: a girl in junior high school, or fucking psychotic.
just saying.
Apr 7, 2010 at 11:51 am rating: 8
#24
Odious
This time it’s the webmaster who goes on grammar alert!
A lifetime of diplomat-worthy
OR
A lifetime’s worth of diplomat-worthy
NOT
A lifetime worth of diplomat-worthy
ex. A year’s worth of food
It’s called a “temporal expression apostrophe”
Apr 7, 2010 at 4:17 pm rating: 2
#25
Youji
I’ve got a ’99 Cavalier that’s got 145k miles on it and still gets over 30mpg on the highway. I’ve taken it from southern Michigan to Baltimore and back four times = D
I love this little car.
Apr 8, 2010 at 12:34 am rating: 1
#26
Cady
I get all my cars from ze Germans.
Apr 8, 2010 at 10:09 am rating: 0
#27
McMoFo
On second thought, I’d rather have a Waldorf salad.
Apr 8, 2010 at 12:03 pm rating: 1
#28
Amy
So, Brandon in San Diego had a party, and apparently people stayed out pretty late playing beer pong in the yard — a yard which happens to be just outside the bedroom window of the neighbors, an older couple in their 70s. The morning after, our submitter Mallory says, Brandon woke up to find this [...]
Apr 18, 2010 at 12:57 pm rating: 0
#29
Amy
Sure, Redbox and Netflix may have been the death of their former stomping grounds. Yet as Erin in San Diego noticed while shopping for DVDs at her local Best Buy, at least one of those condescending cinephiles has condescended to grace us with her presence (and her oh-so-artistic ampersands?) in big-box land.
Meanwhile, as Ali noticed, a [...]
Apr 22, 2010 at 9:50 pm rating: 0
Comments are Closed