Killing it with kindness

April 16th, 2010 · 82 comments

So, Brandon in San Diego had a party, and apparently people stayed out pretty late playing beer pong in the yard — a yard which happens to be just outside the bedroom window of the neighbors, an older couple in their 70s. The morning after, our submitter Mallory says, Brandon woke up to find this taped to his front door.

Final score: Brandon, o. Sweet little old lady, EPIC WIN!

Dear Brandon,  I'm so glad you're my friend...

The world is a much better place with you in it! But 3 a.m. is not a good time to play in the yard.

related: My condolences on your birthday

FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · neighbors · noise · old folks · San Diego


82 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Woman on the Verge bang

    Wow. There’s sort of a veiled threat there isn’t there? Cute birds shitting marijuana leaves and the implication that Brandon won’t be in the world much longer if he plays in the yard at 3am?

    Shit. Pot-smoking Granny got a gun!

    Apr 16, 2010 at 3:37 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   infant tyrone bang

      WotV,
      As Ludwig Wittgenstein used to say, “Hot Ziggety !”
      I wonder if she has a SAG card ?
      Or at least was in the Drama Club in school ?
      Y’see, there’s this movie….

      If we can get her to leave the real holster at home, whaddya think
      of her as Granny Van Winkle, the lead role in “Roving Target”.

      Apr 16, 2010 at 4:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      Gee, ty, I have a feeling she’ll muck up the shooting schedule trying to get in line for the early bird buffet every day at 4pm.

      Apr 17, 2010 at 9:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Loren

    I don’t normally comment on these notes, but I might employ this ‘thank you’ note policy next time my downstairs neighbor plays insanely loud country music until 2 am on a week night.

    Apr 16, 2010 at 3:41 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Luna (the other one)

      I know. This old lady is a passive-aggressive GENIUS!!!

      Apr 16, 2010 at 4:10 pm   rating: 64  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Fanboy Wife

      I think this idea is wonderful too – it breaks the ice for the complaint! A gold star for Brandon’s neighbors!

      Apr 16, 2010 at 4:54 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   cl

    Beer pong outside at 3am? Brandon is a dick.

    Team pissed off old lady!

    Apr 16, 2010 at 4:11 pm   rating: 123  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Goldie

      Yep! BTDT, almost called the cops once. In fact, I like the old lady’s note! This grandma sounds cool, can I buy her a drink sometime?

      Apr 16, 2010 at 9:14 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   TheOldSchool bang

      Sounds like the perfect time for some dick pong. All we need is a sack of rocks.

      Apr 16, 2010 at 9:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   the heat

      Beer pong is the official sport of San Diego, specifically beach-area San Diego. Brandon is every dude who lives within a twelve-block radius of me. Team Pissed Off Old Lady, co-captain!

      Apr 26, 2010 at 1:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Gunderson

    I think the old lady is saying “Instead of playing in the yard at 3am, come over her for some tag-team action with me and my hubby”

    Apr 16, 2010 at 4:16 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   infant tyrone bang

      Mary Kay Letourneau is only 48, but she does have a 13 year old daughter, so the math says it’s possible that she’s the Granny with a Gun here.
      If so, Brandon’s in the clear, but his kid brother had better watch his seix.

      Lest you think a coupla references to MKL are, well, overblown, check out
      http://www.hottforteacher.com/

      Apr 16, 2010 at 4:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Steve

    Giving credit where credit is due, the neighbor had the class and guts to sign her name. (Unless that redacted “J” was something like “Jerkyface Poo-poo head” or “Just you wait and I will get back at you anonymously, drawing strength from the bottomless well of passive-aggressive bile in which I float soullessly.”)

    Apr 16, 2010 at 4:24 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Flaboy2425

    I’m with J all the way. My neighbor woke me out of a sound sleep at 3:30 am. holding a lengthy conversation in his driveway, just outside my bedroom window, with a departing guest. I was glad their party was inside. Even so, I wanted to pinch their heads off.

    GO, GRANNY!

    Apr 16, 2010 at 4:25 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   wfa

      You missed a great opportunity to shout “I hate long goodbyes, don’t you?” at them through your window.

      Apr 18, 2010 at 4:11 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   claw71 bang

    Beer pong? Really? People actually do this?

    I don’t know if I agree with Kerry’s scoring, because she hasn’t factored in the circumstances. Idiotic drinking festivities that would include something like beer pong are fine if you’re in college (provided you’re of college age–35 year-old philosophy majors don’t count). If that’s the case then these old people might want to consider a place farther away from campus. 2 points for Brandon, with a 3 point penalty for playing beer pong at 3 am when you know the roofies you slipped that redhead have kicked in.

    If Brandon lives in a regular neighborhood he might need to give serious consideration to growing up. 3 points to the old people.

    I’m still a little confused, however, as I thought old people turned their hearing aids off when they went to bed.

    Regardless, I’m going to have to deduct 5 points for the card because it’s corny and dishonest. I can’t imagine that Brandon has any qualities that would lead anybody to believe the the world is a better place with him in it.

    Apr 16, 2010 at 4:44 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   TheOldSchool bang

      Claw, a five point deduction for the card is harsh.

      Why would any sane person want to waste a good card on this inconsiderate frat-boy?

      Apr 16, 2010 at 9:21 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   eli

      All I hear is “blah blah I’m better than you because I don’t play drinking games.”

      Apr 17, 2010 at 8:16 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   wfa

      Now now, I’m sure there’s a plethora of reasons why Claw is better than people who play drinking games.

      Apr 18, 2010 at 4:12 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      Definitely a plethora. You gotta know claw.

      Apr 18, 2010 at 11:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   TheOldSchool bang

      Eli kinda reminds me of my ex.

      Apr 18, 2010 at 2:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   infant tyrone bang

      **successfully resists replying to the ‘ex-rated memories’ gambit

      Apr 18, 2010 at 9:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   Isuck

      IS SOMEONE IMPERSONATING ME?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!one one slash one slash

      Apr 19, 2010 at 8:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Celeste

    I don’t normally comment either, but this is priceless and definitely a great idea to consider. Go granny!

    Apr 16, 2010 at 4:53 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Lauri

    Considering they were well within their rights to call the cops, I think sending a nice note instead was very generous and Brandon should volunteer to do some yard work as penance.

    Apr 16, 2010 at 5:35 pm   rating: 56  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Bunnee

    The note is a little out of touch, what with the whole “play in the yard” business. She made it sound like they were out there playing king of the mountain or smear the queer (nttawwt). However, Granny is right on the money with the passive aggressive structure. She sets ‘em up and then knocks ‘em down!

    Team Granny.

    Apr 16, 2010 at 5:37 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   park rose bang

      I think she’s spot on, Bunnee. She’s got them by the goolies and she’s twisting hard. Or at least deflating egos, pin-prick by pin-prick. You know, they’re too old to want to be recognised as children, too young to want to be regarded as adults.

      Apr 16, 2010 at 5:55 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   mouse

      I thought the play in the yard ting was a sort of cute way of saying she didn’t disapprove of the activity itself (which some might assume she would do to her age) just the timing.

      Apr 19, 2010 at 12:08 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   babszilla

    Go Granny, Go!

    I am going to find these cards and stock up. I can see plenty of uses, such as a few in my car for that careless parking lot hog, office lunch stealers, etc.

    Apr 16, 2010 at 5:50 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   park rose bang

      I’d be careful. Gran lives next to Bran, so it’s worth her telling him he’s her friend. Are you sure you want to risk the careless parking lot hog having a sarcasm-detection fail?

      Apr 16, 2010 at 5:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Jennifer

      babszilla, I had a stack of these cards that I just threw out! (Recycled, actually). They were free from some charity seeking donations; can’t remember which.

      Apr 16, 2010 at 6:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Clumber

      That it was a free card from a charity makes this PAN extra super special

      Got that Brandon?

      Team Partying Granny

      Apr 20, 2010 at 8:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Claire

    Fuck Brandon, and everyone like Brandon, including my own upstairs neighbors who kept us up to 6:30 in the morning the other night. Being in college is no excuse for being a raving inconsiderate asshole. Yay for the lady.

    Apr 16, 2010 at 5:57 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Blogmella bang

    If Brandon and his friends do this again, I think she will drop by with a delicious cake, decorated with the words “You’re my favourite asshole!” (except she will probably spell it like an American).

    Apr 16, 2010 at 6:21 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   gladystopia

    Reading this note and its comments? Leads me to a conclusion I find awful beyond all words.

    See, I live just off a college campus. Granted, the undergrads are practically venerated in college circles for their nerdiness–we don’t even have a football team–but: not the point.

    Because my apartment faces on an alley, across which there is a new apartment building. Because it was foreclosed-upon, so the story goes, a group of parents of undergrads (all of a particular faith background, which I only mention so it doesn’t sound SO completely like a pack of spoiled bratlets with helicopter parents) purchased the building and allowed their offspring to move into the building–all 8 units of it, from what I can see.

    And yes, they “play” in the yard til all hours of the night, and they have loud, drama-fraught conversations when all good hard-working apartment-dwellers are asleep, and they have parties of–for this school–rather impressive size and noisiness. And at no time during these proceedings do any of them take into account that–like my apartment–there are another 35 apartments that front on that same alley, and who most likely, due to the management’s liberal application of steam-heat throughout the fall, winter, and spring months, have windows open.

    And I will admit that there has been more than one occasion–often, more than one occasion per evening–when I myself have thought of PANning the front door of this little undergraduate man-cave; and further, that upon reading this note, I was impressed not merely with its PA-ness, but with its laudable degree of restraint.

    And as I thought these thoughts I realized the thing that will now wake me screaming from sound sleep on these, the final fifty-odd nights of my thirty-ninth year of life:

    OH MY HOLY GOD– I AM NOW, OFFICIALLY, THE OLD LADY.

    If anyone needs me, I will be practicing in the mirror the common phrase “You! Stay out of my flowerbeds!” Probably whilst weeping hysterically.

    Apr 16, 2010 at 6:23 pm   rating: 76  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   mamason bang

      It’s a shame that we are unable to speak to our neighbors when they’re being total assholes. I tried to ask my dumbfuck neighbor to turn down his car stereo when he woke me up at 6 o’clock in the morning with his n-word and f-bomb laden “music” blaring. He got kind of pissy with me so I never spoke to him again, I just called the police every single time thereafter. Turns out our county noise laws, or whatever they’re called, are pretty strict. One warning and every infraction after that is a ticket with a pretty hefty fine. He moved within a month. Life is good.

      Apr 16, 2010 at 8:28 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   molly ringwald

      “you kids are nothing but a bunch of fornicators! now, sonny, you turn off that racket! you need JESUS!”

      Apr 17, 2010 at 12:26 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   anglophile bang

      Maybe you should just take up archery, Gladys. In the beginning, you probably wouldn’t be good enough to actually hit anyone, and by the time your skill level has increased to do any actual damage, your potential targets will have gotten the hint.

      Apr 17, 2010 at 9:46 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Zsa

      Makes me feel better that my retirement goals are shared by others.
      ZSA’s retirement goals:
      - own house in college town
      - all roommates must be widowed or never-married (sorry Mr. ZSA)
      - cat to person ration equal to or greater than 3:1
      - Morning ritual to include: hair rollers, dressing gowns and gin in coffee. Might forgo coffee entirely and just drink gin in coffee cup
      - yelling at the “punk kids” in the neighborhood to (random mix):
      “get outta my lawn”
      “get to school and make something out of your life”
      “don’t pet my cat”
      “find something to do that won’t land you jail”

      Apr 17, 2010 at 11:19 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   molly ringwald

      Zsa, bonus points if you yell at these punk kids while wearing the hair rollers, dressing gown, and shaking a rolling pin.

      Apr 17, 2010 at 3:30 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   Zsa

      Molly, Nice! I’ll add the rolling pin to my list. I’ll keep it next to the rocking chair on the porch – on a table or the cats will pee on it too. Going to have to downgrade to an old-fashioned, all-wood rolling pin- mine is currently non-stick :)
      SWEET.

      Apr 17, 2010 at 8:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Escape Goat

    See that little red bird? It’s saying, “Fuck you, pong bitch.”

    Apr 16, 2010 at 7:36 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   TippingCows

    The red bird looks like it’s going in for the kill – Zombie Bird eats brains of Brandon Bird!

    Granny knew what she was doing with this imagery all right.

    Apr 16, 2010 at 8:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   TheOldSchool bang

    The fact that these young-uns are playing beer pong at 3 a.m., an hour when they should obviously be fornicating, indicates to me just how depraved and lost our college kids are today.

    Maybe video games should include brief interludes of hardcore pornography so these poor souls can be gradually reacclimated to some of life’s more base pleasures. I think the screeners are losing touch with their own animal instincts.

    Apr 16, 2010 at 9:35 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Boss

    This is genius. Completely polite, no threats, very classy.

    Apr 16, 2010 at 10:57 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    Cards are for wimps. Daisy Moses (AKA “Granny Clampett”) would have settled the matter at 3:05am by way of a 12-gauge firing bacon rind and rock salt.

    Apr 16, 2010 at 11:02 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   infant tyrone bang

      1) make small hole in egg
      2) remove most of liquid
      3) refill with butyric acid
      4) place egg in slingshot cradle modified to hold egg
      5) aim + fire at noisy party location

      Party location will smell like vomit quickly.
      Eggs falling far short of target can spoil your fun.
      Directionality and propulsive force are critical to success.
      Practice, practice, practice.

      Apr 17, 2010 at 11:28 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Canthz_B bang

      Silly putty eggs filled with chemistry set sulfur and what ever else we shoved in there make a delightfully pungent rotten egg smell.

      Recipe from the best acorn fight evar!!!

      Apr 17, 2010 at 5:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   maceelaine bang

      baby tyrone, where exactly are you getting this butyric acid?
      (or maybe I shouldn’t ask. I like my yard.)

      Apr 19, 2010 at 1:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   infant tyrone bang

      maceelaine,
      I haven’t done serious price comparisons, but you can get it at
      https://www.spectrumchemical.com/OA_HTML/ibeCSrdSrchResults.jsp?cg=-200&minisite=10020&respid=50577&ds=0&dr=30&st=kw&cpg=0&section=18956&kw=b1195&searchlov=-1

      Remember your safety precautions.
      Oh, if you’re in touch with Jamf or Bland, remind them that
      C₄H₈O₂, isn’t something positively disturbing for me.

      Apr 19, 2010 at 10:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   maceelaine bang

      I’d just buy the 100mL bottle and throw that at them. It’s in glass, so it should shatter nicely. But I usually go for the easy route.

      I am so, so very glad not to have any of that stuff in my lab. We have enough disturbing smells.

      Apr 19, 2010 at 2:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.6   maceelaine bang

      Then again, I’m a scientist, so you shouldn’t trust me. I’m always lying and pissing off clowns.

      Apr 19, 2010 at 6:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.7   infant tyrone bang

      As long as mimes are counted as clowns, you’re OK in my book.
      But you should be able to stretch that 100ml over a long time span,
      and the broken glass just cranks up your civil and criminal liability.
      So, vaya con huevos. They’ll shatter just dandy.

      Apr 20, 2010 at 12:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   oi

    so how does Mallory fit in all this drama?

    Apr 16, 2010 at 11:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Blogmella bang

      Mallory is the bird on the right. She thought it was a good picture of her and wanted to get it posted on the internet. The nature of the message provided her with an excellent excuse.

      Apr 19, 2010 at 8:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   lesstalk

    old people are so diabolical…

    Apr 16, 2010 at 11:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   TheOldSchool bang

      Those are the words I want printed on my gravestone — in the tiniest font possible.

      Then, when someone gets close enough to read the words, I’ll have hidden speakers blast out a shriek, followed by recordings of me ordering my snipers into position.

      Apr 18, 2010 at 2:31 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Denny DelVecchio

    Am I the only one that believes that this whole situation is absolutely drenched in sexual subtext?

    Apr 16, 2010 at 11:34 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   molly ringwald

      i don’t know… but now that you mention it, those birds look like they’re more than just friends.

      Apr 17, 2010 at 12:27 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   mireee

    Parties at 3am? Boy I’m a student and I’d be fucking pissed off as well. Yesterday I had a house party and by 1am everyone was out and we went clubbing. Seriously dude, poor neighbours. Team Old Lady.

    Apr 17, 2010 at 8:27 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Sparkles23 bang

    Just because you know how to be stupid, doesn’t mean you should do it.
    Team Granny!

    Apr 17, 2010 at 2:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   mamason bang

    Ok. What the fuck is beer pong?

    Apr 17, 2010 at 5:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   mamason bang

      Googled it. Duh.

      It seems very unsanitary to me. I hope they sanitize their balls.

      Apr 17, 2010 at 5:34 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      Because, really, there is NOTHING worse than dirty balls.

      Apr 18, 2010 at 11:50 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   TheOldSchool bang

      I can think of one thing that is way, way worse, WotV.

      I can’t stand it when the fringe at the end of the tassel dangling from the top of my fez gets tangled.

      When will somebody finally invent a comb for fez tassels?

      Apr 18, 2010 at 2:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   mamason bang

      TOS, you snuck in there and made my post seem even more irrelevant than usual. :lol:

      Apr 18, 2010 at 2:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.5   Woman on the Verge bang

      Sorry, TOS, but your dirty balls are way worse than your tangled fez.

      Apr 18, 2010 at 4:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.6   infant tyrone bang

      If’n y’all wurnt drinkin’ outa them wide-mouth Mason jars, mos’ likely yer Shriner’s hat wudn’t be gettin’ all fouled up like ‘at.

      Plus, if yew wuz t’ drink a reglar long-neck beer, yew cud shake it up some an’ hit them nasty ol’ balls with a carbonated spray of disinfectant.

      But yew know alla that alredddy, bein’ a ladies’ man about town an’ all,
      so sumpin must be buggin yew awful bad. Cmon, bubba, lets blow off some steam like them gals in Sex and the City do, ‘cept instead of
      purses an’ shoes, we’ll go hunt us up some fishin’ tackle and ammo.

      Apr 18, 2010 at 5:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.7   TheOldSchool bang

      mamason: Whenever you speak of balls, it is as if everything else becomes irrelevent.

      WotV: True, but the comparison is a bit unfair.

      The tassel of my fez never receives anything close to the loving attention (not just from myself, but from myriads of other players, fans, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and, of course, family members), as do my balls. I’ve long suspected that some folks intentionally get them dirty, just so they can revel in the pleasure they derive from cleaning them. Not that I’m surprised, we humans are tactile creatures, after all.

      i.t., I’d love to join you, because I’ve never hunted ammo before, and it sounds dangerous. (Does the ammo shoot back?)

      Sadly, tonight, I’ve been invited to be the guest of honor at a “Tea-Baggers and Denture Wearers of America” fundraiser.

      Apr 19, 2010 at 1:30 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.8   infant tyrone bang

      TOS,
      If you see Martha Raye at the bash tonight, please give her our best.
      A hug may be problematic, since she was buried with military honors in 1994, but I’m sure the gala’s spirits will provide some inspiration.
      We’ll always remember her as Benita Bizarre, as well as for the obvious
      http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=martha+raye+commercial&aq=3

      I prefer to hunt, capture, load, fire, and release ammo in a non-PvP environment. I don’t mind a character dying in combat, but I’d like to keep my own personal meat alive for a few more decades, if possible.
      We could rig up a police training courses (friend or foe pop-ups) to fire live rounds at you, but I’m strictly spectator material for that movie.

      Finally, I haven’t seen anything from Ronco for fez tassels, but…
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5T8Gxk7vbec

      Apr 19, 2010 at 9:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Kim

    I came across your blog and have to tell you that I think it is so FUNNY!!!! I have been laughing out loud and laughing so hard I’m now crying. Your site is brilliant!!! Thanks for the laughs!

    Apr 17, 2010 at 7:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   infant tyrone bang

      Welcome to the freak show, Kim.
      I’d like to say I speak for all of us here, but I’m paid by Kimberly-Clark to be on the lookout for folks like you who laugh so hard you cry.
      So, on behalf of my generous corporate patrons, let me recommend the Extra Large 3-ply Cold Care Kleenex, available at fine stores everywhere.

      Apr 18, 2010 at 12:29 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   TheOldSchool bang

    I still have a problem with the card’s basic message.

    Is the world really a much better place with Brandon in it?

    Hmmmmmn….

    Apr 18, 2010 at 2:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   infant tyrone bang

    Granny may be speaking in a very, very big picture way…
    My take is that she’s referring to how much better any parallel worlds or universes must be since this here one has her dearly-beloved Brandon.

    I wanted to check this hypothesis via a scientific method-style rigorous and repeatable test, so I blindfolded a couple of the neighbor lady’s kids (double-blind surveys are the only way to fly), got out the Ouija board,
    and dialed up Carl Sagan and Richard Feynman…both sent back, “Sometimes you just gotta take one for the team.”

    Apr 18, 2010 at 10:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   maceelaine bang

    Can we get Granny J to come and be a commenter here? I think she’s got the right attitude.

    Apr 19, 2010 at 1:11 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Joanna

    Um, I’m not sure how to do this but I’m the neighbor who sent this note to Brandon. I’m a little upset because I’m hardly a sweet little old lady. I’m 45! My husband is 58 but I don’t think anybody with half a brain would confuse us for being in our 70s. Aside from a little binge drinking slut who is too self-absorbed to see three inches past the next cock she’s sucking.

    Apr 19, 2010 at 8:12 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   anglophile bang

      I’m pretty sure calling the submitter of the note a binge-drinking slut is exactly the way one should respond. For a 70 year-old granny, you’re amazingly technologically savvy, not to mention hep to the way things are done on the World Wide Web. Good for you, Joanna.

      P.S. Has anyone ever told you about Facebook? You should look into it. There’s tons of opportunities to be passive-aggressive there!

      Apr 19, 2010 at 10:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Blogmella bang

      Wow Joanna, your entire personality seems to have changed, since the moment you allegedly wrote that note.

      After being kept awake for half the night you were all “glad you’re my friend” and stuff. Now you’re attacking Mallory as a “binge drinking slut”, just for posting on here.

      Odd that.

      Apr 19, 2010 at 11:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Stinky bang

    I once had neighbors that were up ’til all hours partying. I went over there one time to bitch at them. They offered me a beer and a comfy chair. Brilliant! I don’t recall them ever getting any quieter, but I just didn’t mind them after that.

    Apr 19, 2010 at 11:26 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   David

    Aside from a little binge drinking slut who is too self-absorbed to see three inches past the next cock she’s sucking.

    What’s her number? ;)

    Apr 19, 2010 at 12:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   MarkI

    Dear Brandon,
    The world is a better place with you in it.
    But passiveaggressivenotes.com is not a good place to post personal correspondence.

    Apr 19, 2010 at 1:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   brandon

    this is brandon the one who recieved this card! so i would like to say that i am a chemist with a good job of the age of 27. i also like to party! i live on the beach in pacific beach and people party all around me at all times including the people above me! so since i have a backyard with a beer pong table in it that just happened to face a old neighbors window i am screwed! so for all of you that just bashed me… get some friends and party already or at least get a life of some sort.

    Apr 20, 2010 at 4:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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