Nobody likes electric hand dryers…even on Earth Day.

April 22nd, 2010 · 159 comments

When Sarah saw this notice posted in the restroom of a Chicago movie theater, she says, “I was thrilled to find a company willing to admit what I have always secretly felt: that despite their tree-saving abilities, electric hand dryers suck.”

ELECTRIC HAND DRYERS No, we don't like them either, but they are the most energy efficient, and environment friendly choice  Thank You, Cinema Management

Scott was also thrilled to spot this sign in the men’s room of a bar in Council Bluffs, Iowa. “It’s mainly the incredibly bad spelling and punctuation that I love about it,” he says. (The less-than-incredible attempt to drum up excitement for those “fast and new hand blowers”?  Not so much.)

Sorry, but we will not be useing [sic] paper towels From now on. There is Fast + New HAND BLOWER'S [sic] Thank you

related: And a very happy Earth Day to you!

extra credit: Air Hand Dryers May Leave Bacteria on Hands, Says Study [greendaily.com]

FILED UNDER: bathroom · energy usage · spelling and grammar police · The Earth · washing your hands


159 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Canthz_B bang

    Yes, because generation of electricity is so very environmentally friendly, we don’t need to kill trees anymore.

    Apr 22, 2010 at 12:26 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Odious

      Surely you mean “it so very environment friendly”.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 2:27 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   infant tyrone bang

      That it there in your comment, is it it or is it is ?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 6:22 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   mystic_eye

      Oohh can I be “that person”

      It should be environmental friendly because both of those words are acting on the noun “generation of electricity”.

      (And clearly its “is” not “it”)

      Apr 24, 2010 at 9:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   brynne

      *it’s

      May 3, 2010 at 9:18 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Denny DelVecchio

    And what of the door handle?

    Isn’t that why paper towels are put in bathrooms?

    Apr 22, 2010 at 12:45 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   jadefirefly

      No amount of paper towels can actually make other people wash their hands, sadly.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 3:03 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Splint Chesthair

      That’s why I use one of these.

      http://www.handlerusa.com/

      Anti-bacterial grabber thing for door handles and such.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 6:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   eyehearta2

      The Handler. Invented for Howard Hughes?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 7:34 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Splint Chesthair

      So you still pick your nose with your fingers? Pfft. Barbarian.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 7:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   infant tyrone bang

      So, Cap’n Hook, after using this…it goes back in your pocket ? Ewww

      And the ‘nano silver particles’…
      Are they supplied and configured according to some homeopathic protocol whereby the fewer there are of them the stronger the protection ?
      That sure helps to cut down on your precious metal expense, eh ?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:06 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Splint Chesthair

      I don’t put my fingers in my mouth so I don’t really care about germs on my hands.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:18 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   eyehearta2

      Ummmm, so then the Captian Hook thing really doesn’t do too much…

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   Splint Chesthair

      I use it for picking up roadkill and posing them in a funny manner. I also make people shake hands with it sometimes and explain I’m a germaphobe. I work for the government so it gets boring some days.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 10:13 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   infant tyrone bang

      It is useful in helping shoppers remember to buy Peter Pan peanut butter.
      Surprised they didn’t get some co-op from ConAgra…or Disney.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 6:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    Team electric hand dryers!

    Paper doesn’t grow on trees you know!!!!

    Apr 22, 2010 at 1:01 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Splint Chesthair

      OICWATUDIDTHERE

      Apr 22, 2010 at 6:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   InYourSleep

      OICYOURPROPERSPACING/NONCAPITALLETTERSTHEREOWAITIDONTCOSTHEREARENTANY

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Splint Chesthair

      ha ha, urs didn’t fit.

      Apr 23, 2010 at 6:34 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   park rose

    Team bring your own small flannel/towel to wipe your hands with (and, well, you know, if there happens to be no tp . . .).

    Apr 22, 2010 at 1:30 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   claw71 bang

      My emergency rescue plan in the event of no toilet paper is my underwear. If I happen to be going commando I’ll reach for my socks and If I’m sans socks I use the sole of my shoe like a spatula. Yes, I’m very resourceful. I once coaxed a sewer rat out of a floor drain with bits of corn and peanuts so I could wipe with him and I’ve even resorted to detaching the fill hose from the ball valve and used the toilet tank as a bidet. I dare say I like it when I discover there’s no tp . On road trips I often hold in bowel movements until I find the most dilapidated filling station on the highway in hopes of putting my ninja-like pooping skills to the test. I sometimes take road trips for this purpose. I’ll spend a Friday gorging myself on Taco Bell, White Castle and Two Buck Chuck and get up bright and early Saturday to take a drive down Rt. 23.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:31 am   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   TheOldSchool bang

      Surely, I’m not the only one who is catching the subtle whiff of possible job opportunities for out-of-work Tennesseeans. Do we have any Volunteers?

      Come on, Tenessee! Lend a hand!

      Together, we (meaning you) can wipe out unemployment.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 11:00 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   FeRD

      ^^ And while claw71 is out on his road trips, I break into his house and poop in his toilet. Then I use up all the toilet paper.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 3:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   infant tyrone bang

      We’re all on the edges of our respective thrones here:
      1) What brand of TP ?
      2) Does he keep paper towels at home or just use them when out + about ?
      3) How do you disarm the Claymores ?
      4) Has Kitty Kelley contacted you yet ?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 6:31 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   kiff

      i don’t know why, but based on the info in claw’s comment i guess he was from the ‘bus. 1 for 1!

      May 3, 2010 at 5:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   infant tyrone bang

    From a conspiracy theorist/analyst perspective, I’m wondering if the increase in use of electric hand dryers is based on a forecasted need (forecasted by Someone, Somewhere) for more burning-at-the-stake fuel, more pitch for those torches held by fearful/violent villagers, and more tar for the ever-popular tar and feathering.
    If Tyson Foods announces a breakthrough on its flagship product (I’d call it their cash cow, but, well…), that’ll pretty much nail it in my book.

    Apr 22, 2010 at 1:42 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Yuval

    Well, technically, hand dryers blow (rather than suck).

    Apr 22, 2010 at 2:07 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Creme Brulee

      Man, this sucks AND blows.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 3:46 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   mamason bang

      Yes, but does it swallow?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 7:15 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   TheOldSchool bang

      mamason, I can’t speak for anyone else, but in my experience, it doesn’t exactly swallow. It burns and chews and sputters and spews.

      Much like my ex, only more enthusiastic.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:14 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   infant tyrone bang

      TOS,
      Could that have had something to do with how you were plugging her in ?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:22 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Pennyjg

    We have the new, very powerful, Dyson hand driers at work and they ROCK! Takes seconds to dry completely and you can watch the skin on your hands swirling around in interesting ways you’d never seen before too.

    Apr 22, 2010 at 2:08 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Blogmella bang

      I’m frightened by the idea of hand driers that work… It just isn’t natural.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 2:19 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   jadefirefly

      I love those things! They are so awesome!

      Apr 22, 2010 at 3:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Splint Chesthair

      They are sweet. I want one for home.

      http://www.dysonairblade.com/

      Apr 22, 2010 at 6:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Sam S

      Some of these blowers are ridiculously intense, I’m talking about when it sounds like a jet engine and you get windburn. I expect to see guys walking around in lab coats testing aerodynamics for Pete’s sake.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Canthz_B bang

      At least Pete’s hands are dry.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:07 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   Just Me

      My husband actually insisted on a tree-killing paper towel dispenser in our bathroom because he hates damp hand towels.

      I agree with him on that one.

      But I’m glad he didn’t insist on a hand dryer.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   infant tyrone bang

      If a guy named Pete walks out of a Mens room humming Volare,
      can we assume there’s a newfangled Dyson hand drier inside ?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 10:05 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   taosaur

      I don’t know if they’re Dyson, but the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s hand dryers work so well they’re a bigger attraction than the Springsteen exhibit.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 12:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.9   Mo® bang

      Well yeah…pfft it’s Springsteen. A mossy rock is more interesting.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 12:26 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.10   park rose bang

      a rolling stone?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 12:28 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.11   infant tyrone bang

      Geez, tomorrow’s headline: New Jersey invades Arizona

      Apr 22, 2010 at 2:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.12   hampshireflyer

      One particular building where I work has airblade dryers. People go in to visit the loo even if they’ve only gone over to that building for five minutes…

      Apr 22, 2010 at 2:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.13   mystic_eye

      Just Me,

      Maybe you should get one of those “never ending” rolls of cloth for hand drying =))

      I like those the best really.

      Apr 24, 2010 at 9:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Dani

    I *like* hand driers– so often the only water that comes out of those sinks is barely above freezing, and the hand drier is usually warm air.

    Apr 22, 2010 at 2:43 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Sarah

    Did you know that in an entire public bathroom, the place where a bacterium feels most happy (and most prone to reproduce) is inside the warm electric handdrier that is only cleaned on the outside?

    I work in a hospital and all bathroom here provide paper towels because when you dry hands with an electric dryer, you might just as well not wash your hands at all.

    Apr 22, 2010 at 4:31 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   molly ringwald

    So, let me get this straight…

    There is fast
    +
    New Handblower’s
    =
    Thank you
    ?

    Apr 22, 2010 at 5:45 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Sam S

      This is called “new Math”

      Apr 22, 2010 at 7:55 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Mel K

    What do you call Engrish when English is the first language?

    They both could’ve used an exclamation mark!

    Apr 22, 2010 at 6:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Yang-May Ooi

    Well, the good thing about electric dryers is that they can keep you warm if you are trapped in a public toilet by mistake over Xmas – see http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1248810/Jogger-spent-Christmas-Day-locked-public-toilet-gets-compensation-payout.html

    Apr 22, 2010 at 7:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   jaywalke

    Does hand blowing count as third base?

    Apr 22, 2010 at 7:34 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Splint Chesthair

      Is that the combination thing that chicks do?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 7:48 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Michelle S.

      excessive use of hands is cheating

      Apr 22, 2010 at 1:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   TheOldSchool bang

      jaywalke,

      It does, but only if there’s a happy ending.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 5:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Sam S

    I like my hand blowers like I prefer my girls – fast + new

    Apr 22, 2010 at 7:54 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Splint Chesthair

      warm and bolted to a bathroom wall?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:06 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   infant tyrone bang

      So, somebody reminiscent of Elsa Lanchester ?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 10:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   jayskinner70

      electric with a large hole?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 10:33 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   TheOldSchool bang

      Noisy, unattractive, and terrible at what they’re supposed to do?

      That sounds a lot like how I described myself in my last failed craigslist gigolo ad. I can see the writing on the wall. Machines are rendering my talents obsolete.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 11:09 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   Woman on the Verge bang

      Heisa is a bitch today. I’ve tried posting this 5 times!

      Cold and broken?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 11:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   FeRD

      Girls – fast + new = …toddlers?

      SICK, man!

      Apr 22, 2010 at 3:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    I’m so much more confident in an election process for the Presidency which starts with the wonderfully well- educated people of Iowa now.

    Apr 22, 2010 at 8:11 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   infant tyrone bang

      I get your point, CB, but from another angle it makes sense for Iowa
      to be a beta site for any new air-based hand-drying technology.
      They have had decades of experience being on the front lines
      of exposure to the hot air sources your comment pertains to.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:18 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   claw71 bang

    This presents several problems. First, I can’t open the door with the blower. I’ve tried and it doesn’t work. I suppose I could use toilet paper to protect me from all of those germs on the handle but toilet paper tends to be infested with choloform bacteria. It’s OK to wipe with but toilet paper is disgusting otherwise.

    The second issue I have is that I like to use paper towels as a post-defecation buffer. I prefer wadding up and paper towel for this purpose because it’s less likely to fall apart while deployed between my cheeks. Toilet paper pills up and gets tangled in my ass hairs leaving me with an unsightly crop of dingle berries.

    The third problem I have with those hand dyers is the fact that they don’t ever fucking work.

    Apr 22, 2010 at 8:21 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   infant tyrone bang

      I’m with you on Issue #2 and Issue #3.

      But where do you get that chloroform toilet paper ?
      No wonder those 16 year old Canadian cheerleaders in your trunk don’t raise a ruckus when you’re paying a toll or going through customs.

      Pretty sure it’s cauliflower bacteria that are the health problem.
      If you pick carefully at the salad bar and avoid the trendy, “green” TP
      (Cruciferous Wipes from “Trees R Not Us, Inc.”), you’ll be OK.

      P.S. If you have any connection to venture capital money, contact me.
      I’m sure some U.S. markets are ready for Venezuelan flag TP.
      I’m thinking Tennessee looks perfect as the trial balloon.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 10:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Gavin

    Thumb drought today me thinks

    Apr 22, 2010 at 8:21 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   park rose bang

      The Gavin doth protest too much.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 12:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   infant tyrone bang

      It’s a very localized forecast, but, so far, uncannily accurate.

      **Please do not thumb this Public Service Announcement.
      Doing so will only make it less accurate and skew the data.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Gavin

      lol ;) I’ve been disprooved though, maybe I was too eager to judge

      Apr 23, 2010 at 8:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Jennifer

    Hand dryers are unsanitary. Even if you wash your hands, the friction caused by rubbing them with a paper towel gets rid of 70% of the germs. Hand dryers, since they create a nice warm, moist environment (’cause really, who’s ever gotten their hands COMPLETELY bone dry?) actually create a breeding ground for the nice, antibiotic-resistant bacteria we’re creating with antibiotic hand soap. And unless you wash your little terrycloth that you carry around with you after every time you use it, you’re just putting the germs back on your hands (though it is better than hand dryers). Really, the best choice when faced with a hand dryer is to carry around hand sanitizer (alcohol-based, AT LEAST 60% or it won’t do shit — 70% is best, and check that there aren’t any antibiotics added, just the alcohol), and use the terrycloth to open the door (make sure the side you touch never grabs the door for you, so they should be two different colours).

    – a nurse

    Apr 22, 2010 at 8:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Canthz_B bang

      Yes, because bacteria that are alcohol resistant don’t breed.

      Face it, folks. You share the world with little animals we call “germs”.
      There’s no getting around it.

      - A Realist

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:38 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Splint Chesthair

      You’re stuck in 20th century hand blower technology. The new Dyson AirBlad hand blowers are awesome and don’t have any of the hang-ups you describe. You don’t rub your hands together, they don’t use warm air, and they use HEPA filters and anti-microbial coatings. Get into the 21st century!

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:39 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   claw71 bang

      You know, I agree with you about the antibacterial soap, but there’s also a school of thought when it comes to hand sanitizers: we’re effectively weakening our immune systems by creating a germ free environment.

      I’m not suggesting we should dress our salads with the pink juice that collects at the bottom of the family pack of leg quarters we thawed in the freezer but putting the hand sanitizer away and letting some of these anti-biotic resistant bacteria spar with our T cells might not be a bad idea.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:40 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   Jennifer

      I’m not actually a big fan of hand sanitizer either — washing your hands and drying them with friction is always better in my opinion — but hand sanitizer is better than a hand dryer in terms of getting the job done (ie, killing the germs from your nether regions — most other germs are tame, but the ones from your butt can cause some serious disease, especially if you accidentally pass it on to a poor old lady or immunologically-challenged person).

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:50 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   Canthz_B bang

      Interesting.

      Where I come from, we use toilet paper to keep excrement from touching our hands.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:11 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   infant tyrone bang

      In prison, before they give you a lethal injection,
      they swab your arm with alcohol…

      Carlin on germ phobia and immunological strength development…
      FD rant starts about 8:57 into clip #1 (FF if you need to).

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_9eoTs_Cm0&feature=PlayList&p=0AC18004C55C1C51&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=69

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfSAH0elX-Q&feature=PlayList&p=0AC18004C55C1C51&playnext_from=PL&index=70

      Apr 22, 2010 at 10:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.7   oi bang

      omg! run! run for your life! It’s a HAND DRYER! out just to wipe you out from the face of this earth. run! run! damn it!

      Apr 22, 2010 at 12:30 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.8   park rose bang

      EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

      Apr 22, 2010 at 12:48 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.9   Mo® bang

      Daleks and hand dryers go hand in hand.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 1:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.10   Maas

      The only way you can be sure that your hands are germ free is to “wash” them in fire. Lather your hands up in alcohol based sanitizer, then light them, or, if you’re in a hurry, just use a kitchen blowtorch.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 1:53 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.11   infant tyrone bang

      If you lathered up with a combination of alcohol and sugar,
      like maybe your favorite coffee liqueur, you could use that kitchen blowtorch to make a sort of meat-based version of creme brulée…
      not everyone’s into custard…maybe you’d even win a recipe contest.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 2:31 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.12   anglophile bang

      Double post

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.13   oi

      but rose you said you’d make my comment green. hrrmph!

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.14   anglophile bang

      No, really, Splint. Are you on the Dyson payroll, or what?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.15   park rose

      I tried, oi, but you know the drill: Quote pop culture = go green. BTW, thanks for setting it all up.

      I also happen to think that, following Timo’s sentiment, Davros and Dyson kind of go hand in hand. It’s got a nice kind of ring to it.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.16   infant tyrone bang

      oi,
      I took you to +4 now.
      Remind me later if nobody follows and I’ll try for +5.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.17   oi bang

      thanks it.
      btw clever ploy to make me read your post. :P it worked too.
      yay! scored some pity thumbs!

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.18   infant tyrone bang

      oi,
      I’m sure they weren’t pity. Probably they just didn’t get down this far yet because of all the long stuff they had to research (or not) for my stuff.
      Enjoy your eco-friendliness.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.19   TheOldSchool bang

      Oi, my thumbs are never thumbs of pity.

      I’ll admit to he occasional thumb of sorrow, but never, ever pity. I’d rather eat broccoli casserole than pity thumb.

      It’s called “integrity.”

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.20   park rose bang

      oi is very clever. By dropping the subject, she doesn’t actually indicate whether she gave or received thumbs of pity.

      TOS, I often dole out thumbs of pity, but only to a select few ;)

      Apr 22, 2010 at 10:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.21   park rose

      ‘glo, I think Splint Chesthair meant to say:

      Hand dryer, baby, hand dryer,
      Gimme your heart, gimme, gimme your heart
      Gimme gimme
      Hand dryer, baby, hand dryer,
      Gimme your heart, gimme, gimme your heart
      Gimme gimme
      All your love,
      All your love.

      There will be a new note soon, thank the stars.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 11:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.22   TheOldSchool bang

      rose,

      There have been times when I’ve been tempted to hold my nose and join the thumbin’ for pity crowd, but then, when I stop and think about all the people throughout the world who are missing their thumbs, I realize that people like me owe it to people like them to avoid merging onto the pity thumb highway.

      Think about it, Rose. These poor thumbless souls cannot even hitchhike!

      These bastards have just two options in life: buy a car, or carry exact change at all times.

      The thumbless aren’t very vocal here in the PAN community, but I’ll tell you this: they do read PAN on a daily basis, and they’re taking meticulous notes about what transpires here.

      They’re almost done with tabulating their final list results regarding who is or isn’t dealing openly and honestly with the issues surrounding the issuance of pity thumbs.

      Advance word has leaked out that the whole concept of pity thumbing is going to be savaged.

      (I’m planning on withholding further comment on this topic until I read he final report.)

      Whilst anyone can argue about anything or any point of view while they’re here posting at PAN, I’d be remiss in not recgnizing the obvious: if any group can be said to have the best grasp on every aspect of this greasy topic, it is most certainly the thumbless.

      Apr 23, 2010 at 12:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    Hand dryers and paper towels come and go, but I can always rely on a good pair of pants.

    In fact, my new terry cloth line will be out this Fall! ;-)

    Apr 22, 2010 at 8:31 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Jennifer

      Regular bacteria breed, yes, but they don’t cause antibiotic-resistant illness. And antibiotic soap doesn’t clean your hands any better than regular soap. So your point is null and void. : )

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Canthz_B bang

      What? I stand corrected. I always thought that evolution was about passing on traits which added a survival benefit to the offspring.
      If the survival benefit means that what killed a large number of your competition didn’t kill your offspring it was a good thing and your species changed as a result.
      Thanks for straightening me out on that. :-|

      Yes, “regular” bacteria breed, that’s why we like to kill them. Antibiotic-resistant bacteria have a strange ability to breed as well, and are the result of us killing their competitors…and they do cause diseases for which we have yet to find cures.

      Never sell your biology book back to the college bookstore, there may be a page or 500 you missed.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:15 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   JK

      Thanks Canthz, I was wondering whe someone was going to mention my favourite hand drying method (using my clothes when there are no paper towels), I admit to being a bit of a germ phobe in the bathroom (i HATE not having liquid soap, for
      example) Working in healthcare I always have hand sanitizer on me as well it also came in handy in the days I used to use public transport, not to mention when my daughter was still in nappies!

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   sleeps

    OMG, that’s crazy. Fast + New Hand Blower was my nickname in college!

    Apr 22, 2010 at 8:34 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Canthz_B bang

      That was you?!

      Thank God someone knows how to properly use their hands while blowing, and getting the job done fast is always appreciated!

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:43 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   sleeps

      Yep, ol’ Half n Half they used to call me. Those were the days…

      Apr 22, 2010 at 1:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   Mo® bang

      OH sleeps ♥ !

      Apr 22, 2010 at 1:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   mamason bang

      I suck at giving blowjobs.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 7:26 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   infant tyrone bang

      Does that mean that the recipient is “going” to “come”, or not ?

      I think I’m catching a Koan…ah-ah-ah-chew !!

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Splint Chesthair

    So none of you people have ever figured out how to open a door with your foot?

    Apr 22, 2010 at 8:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Jennifer

      Not when the door opens inwards. Some of us don’t have the dexterity/aren’t tall enough to turn a door handle with our foot.

      Also, do these fancy new hand dryers rub the germs off your hands for you? No. So they’re still not providing the friction necessary to get rid of that 70% of germs, even IF they don’t create a breeding ground. Plus, most places still have ancient dryers. So until everyplace has a Dyson, it’s still an issue.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Sam S

      My technique is to simply linger whilst washing my hands, and time it to leave right when some other fool opens the door.

      Of course, this sometimes backfires when there are other freaks like me who try to do the same thing. We end up staring at one another like the last scene in Good, Bad, & Ugly.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:01 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   Just Me

      Oh, it’s easy peasy! If you’re afraid of the door handle and nobody’s opening it for you, there are three other options:

      1. If the door doesn’t completely shut, grab the edge that’s sticking out of the frame.

      2. Pull it open via the spring mechanism at the top (it takes a little muscle)

      3. Cover your hand with the cuff of your sleeve or the hem of your shirt and just use the damned handle.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   infant tyrone bang

      Lewis Black tried out a routine based on all this door opening stuff on an Open Mike Tuesday at the Improv in Scottsdale.

      The personal door opener bit went down like a fast + new hand blower, but from the ashes of that Phoenix arose his famous Ball Washer routine.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5T8Gxk7vbec

      Apr 22, 2010 at 10:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Hmmm

    I like electric hand dryers.

    Some of them suck (metaphorically), yes, but in general I prefer them.

    They don’t have to take a long time. There are fast alternatives:

    http://www.mitsubishijettowel.com/

    http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/07_27/b4041063.htm

    Apr 22, 2010 at 8:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   laurie

    Hand dryers suck. Not only on their own, but also because they implicate that the toilets will be automatic.

    And if there’s anything worse than hand dryers, it’s automatic flushing toilets.

    Apr 22, 2010 at 8:48 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Just Me

      My daughter is eight and terrified of the automatic toilet flush. (Stems from a desperate potty incident at the age of four in a very busy echo chamber/public restroom incident.) She covers the electric eye with toilet paper so it doesn’t catch her unawares.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   InYourSleep

      I always flip the camera off , cos i don’t want no toilet company making a porno of my ass . ( i just know they would . )

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Splint Chesthair

    All this talk about germs. How about all you knuckledraggers keep your paws out of your holes and then you won’t have to worry about the germs. Germs on your hands won’t make you sick.

    Apr 22, 2010 at 9:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Just Me

      Yes, you’re right, but you’re still carrying the germs home to your thumb-sucking, eye-rubbing, or nose-picking children. Hand washing is still necessary.

      I agree that we’ve become overly obsessed with hand sanitizer and anti-bacterial everything. I look at my neighbor’s kids who suffer all manner of allergies and food sensitivities and seem to spend the entire year with a head cold, and they’re raised in a Better Homes sanitized environment.

      Of course we wash our hands and I’m careful with raw meats and such, but I’m not disinfecting every square inch of my house, either.

      My kids play in the dirt and occasionally eat off the floor if I’m not quick enough to catch them (gurk!). We have pets that shed and occasionally lick the kids’ hands & faces, but despite all that they’re rarely sick.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:45 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Splint Chesthair

      I wasn’t discounting the need for hand washing. I wash my hands before I eat. Other than that, I don’t care too much about what I touch because I don’t put my fingers in my moist holes.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 10:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   park rose bang

      I find putting fingers in my moist holes can offer hours of entertainment, though, true, it’s not usually a five-minutes-before-dinner kind of shenanigan, and it’s better if someone else does the ears. The nose is kind of a no-go area, too.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 12:16 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Not That Nicole the Other Nicole

    Why is there such a debate about opening the door? I’m with claw71 here, why are we sheltering our poor immune systems to the point of reducing them to meaninglessness? Let those white blood cells bare the knuckles for a bit, it’s a huge benefit.

    When I was a kid (oh god, here it goes), my mom let me make mud pies and open bathroom doors (yes, I washed my hands; no, I did not dry them properly, I was a kid) and take out the garbage, and I can clearly observe that I get sick less often than the people my age who were lectured on how important it was to WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS every time you do anything and don’t put that in your mouth, you don’t know where it’s been, and Timmy stop grabbing the toys in the doctor’s office, they’re covered in filth.

    I’m also a hell of a lot healthier than the people at work who fall back on hand sanitizer three times a day. I think that habit is just an extension of this overblown childhood fear of the Horrible Awful No Good Very Bad Germ. We have to self-vaccinate to some degree.

    I quote an ex of mine: in the unlikely event that I ever have children, I will not make them use hand sanitizer, and I will in fact toss them bodily into the stuffed animal bins at the Goodwill and let them go swimming.

    Get over the terror, people. This has fecal mist propaganda written all over it. Rather than being paranoid, let’s just be sensible–wash your hands when you poop. Don’t think too hard about it, you’ll exterminate the human race with your damn alcohol wipes.

    /hyperventilate

    Apr 22, 2010 at 9:42 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Mark bang

      But when you flush the toilet, the fecal mist gets EVERYWHERE! Even on your TOOTHBRUSH! Mythbusters proved it!

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:53 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Sam S

      Dammit, why did you have to bring up fecal mist? It’s not a myth.

      In the movie “Kingpin”, they call it the sh*tcloud – and you better run for your life!

      Apr 22, 2010 at 10:03 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   Splint Chesthair

      FECAL MIST IS PEOPLE!

      Apr 22, 2010 at 10:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.4   Meg

      THANK YOU.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 11:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.5   park rose bang

      Maybe we should just get rid of the doors if they are causing people trichotillomania* All doors, of course. Let it all hang out. And then we can find if all hairy orifices of the trichotillomaniacs are afflicted. Guess it would save you a fortune in waxing, and would be something akin to threading.

      *Not sure if that sentence works, but you get what I mean.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 12:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.6   Mo® bang

      LOUD NOISES!!!

      Apr 22, 2010 at 1:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Mark bang

    Some people might be interested in what the venerable Cecil Adams (“The Straight Dope”) had to say about this issue, in his article “What’s better for the environment, electric hand dryers or paper towels?”.

    See this.

    (weird – the link didn’t work the first time I posted it, sorry ’bout that)

    Apr 22, 2010 at 10:09 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Splint Chesthair

      is this a trick?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 10:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   Mo® bang

      Never gonna give you up…

      Apr 22, 2010 at 1:25 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Zarggg

    Whose blowing is the … hand? This grammar makes my brains hurt. :(

    Apr 22, 2010 at 11:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   park rose bang

      One hand’s?
      Is this a zen koan, or are we all just blowing hot air, or is that what a zen koan is anyway?
      Koans make my brain hurt.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 12:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   TheOldSchool bang

      zarggg, seriously, do you have more than one brain?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 4:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   park rose bang

      Well, there is the left and the right, TOS . . . and one should never really let the left brain know what the right is doing.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 4:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   TheOldSchool bang

      Rose, those are just hemispheres of the same brain, but it does beg the question: why is it that neuroscientists never seem to discuss the northern and southern hemispheres of the brain?

      What aren’t they telling us? Their omerta-like silence should be troubling all thinking people.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 5:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.5   park rose

      It’s too divisive.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 6:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.6   infant tyrone bang

      Fritz Lang’s Maria had the prophecy of The Mediator.
      J.C. Maxwell had his daemon.
      The Beatles gave him a silver hammer.

      Resultant Koan:
      With 2 brains, where the devil would you be if you were between them ?

      TOS,
      They’ll tell us everything when the GUT arrives and we develop 360° peripheral vision, but keep it under your hat, please.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 7:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.7   park rose

      Easy, ty. Between a rock and a hard place. Duh! ;)

      Apr 22, 2010 at 8:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Edwina the Defrocked Nun

    Dyson Airblade – the only electric hand dryer that doesn’t lose suction.

    >o<

    Apr 22, 2010 at 11:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   park rose bang

      So, are people dying of cholera because they have the electric hand dryer or because they don’t?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 12:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   noah

    Hand Blower’s Thank you? How will Mr. Blower’s thank you help me dry my hands?

    Apr 22, 2010 at 2:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Sam S

    RE: String #24

    I just learned that it wasn’t volcanic ash that grounded all those European flights…

    IT WAS FECAL MIST

    I am not joking! Run for your lives!!!

    Apr 22, 2010 at 2:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   TheOldSchool bang

      Sam S: in which direction?

      Apr 22, 2010 at 4:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   infant tyrone bang

      Bucky Fuller, Tim Leary, Bill Burroughs, and G. K. O’Neill all agree: OUT !
      When the shit hits the Jet Stream, go with the smart money.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   TippingCows

    I am always amazed that people will pay money for signs that are not punctuated correctly.
    In any case, I say gimme all the germs you’ve got and keep that damn flu shot away from me. I get sick once a year – if that – and I’m not messing with my white blood cells of steel.
    I want to wash my hands in the dirtiest mud you’ve got and dry them on the unwashed underwear of 2 year-olds!

    Apr 22, 2010 at 3:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   mamason bang

      Are you related to claw? He likes the unwashed undies of 2 year olds, too.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 7:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   Stefania

    Since when is an electric device eco-friendly? Ok, maybe it’s better to use a hand-dryer than a paper towel, but electricity is made in thermocentrals/nuclear centrals that pollute a lot. So, in the long run, I think it’s the same thing.

    If you want to be eco-friendly, just let your hands dry by themselves, or wipe them on your pants.

    Apr 22, 2010 at 4:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   infant tyrone bang

      Yes, Gaia loves pants, skirts, aprons, etc. the most.

      But there are quantifiable/measurable differences among other options.
      It’s about types of energy besides electricity, too.
      For a short course, see the link at #25/

      Apr 22, 2010 at 6:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.2   TheOldSchool bang

      I find it ridiculous that our tax dollars are being spent by providing electricity to keep those giant windmills spinning.

      Think of the bombs we could be building and dropping with all of that pissed-away wind money.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 9:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #32.3   infant tyrone bang

      At least if we are attacked and crushed by giants ala War of the Worlds, they’ll be able to dry their hands off quickly and not infect our corpses.

      Or if we develop those gamma-ray tomatoes and avocados so prevalent in 1950′s SF, we can sure pump out a whole bunch of bitchin’ guacamole.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 10:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Fanboy Wife

    I remember reading a study that discussed whether paper towels or hand dryers were better for the environment. The verdict was to dry your hands on your pants.

    Apr 22, 2010 at 5:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Creme Brulee

    And what of the noise pollution? Those Dyson dryers are so damn loud I fear for my ears.

    Apr 22, 2010 at 6:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   park rose

      Just wait for the accompanying anal lobe, then you really will fear for your ears, brulee.

      Apr 22, 2010 at 6:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   Uhmmm

    Am I the only one here that knows air drying your hands gets MORE germs on you than simple towel drying? Why can’t they get towels and just re-use them? It takes far less energy to wash a load of hand towels and it is far less dangerous.

    Apr 23, 2010 at 1:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   park rose bang

      I heard that if you use an air dryer you get more germs on your hands than a simple towel drying. Am I the only one here who has mentioned it? I can’t believe it!

      Apr 23, 2010 at 2:05 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   Splint Chesthair

    I have a dog, I just wipe my hands on him.

    Apr 23, 2010 at 6:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   ur doing it rong

    I have a Handler thingy, it’s called my sleeve

    Apr 23, 2010 at 9:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #38   emeff

    They have the same sign (the first one) in the E Street theater in Washington, D.C . I think it’s just because they get a bajillion complaints from customers who want paper towels.

    Apr 29, 2010 at 7:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   JamiSings bang

    Odd, seeing how electric hand dryers are worse for the environment then paper towels. Because the electricity production is so much dirtier.

    Long term, people, long term paper towels are better.

    May 23, 2010 at 8:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Does your signage send the right message? « Bud to Boss

    [...] tone do your signs use? Are they aggressive? Bored? Professional? Funny? Does the tone of the sign match the character of your [...]

    Aug 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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