So, which of these cutesy little rhymes is least likely to make you stab yourself in the eye?
Exhibit a) from an office break room in Atlanta, Georgia?
Exhibit b) from a college dorm suite in Winston-Salem, North Carolina?
Or — smiley-face-free! — exhibit c) from a share house full of frat boys in Los Angeles?
Still there? If so, you probably need a palate-cleanser after all those cringe-worthy couplets, so I’ll leave you with this delicate haiku from an office in Washington, D.C.
related: Scatological Poetry Slam
116 responses so far ↓
#1
infant tyrone
I’m least irritated by whichever one is posted on the highest floor,
but still irritated enough to look for an open window and…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmfrPrN1L_s
Apr 23, 2010 at 12:08 am rating: 90
#2
Z
God. I love haiku.
Apr 23, 2010 at 12:15 am rating: 90
#3
MAMARILLA2
Why is the My Sink smiley a different color…Is it passing judgement…Are you Blueish? You don’t look Blueish.
Apr 23, 2010 at 12:38 am rating: 90
#4
Canthz_B
After use wash your dishes,
you lazy sons of bitches.
“Soaking” is not legit,
we won’t stand for that shit.
Use a dish rag or a sponge,
don’t be scared, take the plunge.
Go ahead. Get your hands wet,
be a pal, it’s really no sweat.
Copyright © 2010 by Canthz_B
Apr 23, 2010 at 12:48 am rating: 90
#5
TippingCows
Well, the first one is a raging Dr. Seuss rip-off. The second has promise only because of the last stanza. I think they could have cut out stanza #4 in the second one and still made their point satisfactorily.
The third one just plain sucks.
And anything done in haiku is usually due to laziness and lack of vocabulary.
Plus, it’s trying hard to be clever but it fails.
Oh, I give up – they all suck badz.
Apr 23, 2010 at 1:00 am rating: 90
#6
park rose
What’s needed of course is a poetry slam – gets rid of those dirty dishes good and fast; only problem is, once it’s all over there’s nothing to eat or drink from, except possibly a pair of rhyming cuplets.
Apr 23, 2010 at 2:07 am rating: 90
#7
park rose
I am going to run a little experiment here, and sorry that it means I’ll appear 4 times, but hopefully someone will post in between 5.1, 6, and this one, which might be 7. I think the poems need thumbs.
I really like the haiku – but let’s see what everyone else thinks . . .
These are thumbs for the poems!
The first one (smiley faces rock the kitchen)
Apr 23, 2010 at 2:12 am rating: 90
#8
molly ringwald
note #2 is the one that scares me.
all of those color changes…
the multi-colored squiggly border…
the correct use of apostrophes, “your,” and “their”…
the way “~A Poem~” is strategically written in black (or dark blue)…
and of course, that final stanza where the nice little poem becomes a violent warning, complete with a simple smiley face.
my conclusion is that the note writer is a complete psycho.
Apr 23, 2010 at 4:34 am rating: 90
#9
tilywinn
‘We know we love each other
That’s nothing to deny
So wash your freaking dishes
Or I’ll stab you in the eye.’ – The perfect anniversary card.
Forget college; this writer has a future at Hallmark.
Apr 23, 2010 at 6:31 am rating: 90
#10
Splint Chesthair
“Wash your F***ING dishes, assholes!”
too subtle?
Apr 23, 2010 at 6:32 am rating: 90
#11
Foxy J
The writer of the second note has a lot to learn about layout. All of that blank space at the bottom, especially since the bottom squigglies are all the way at the bottom, is troubling.
If I saw the first note in person, I would leave a note saying “Whose sink is this? And can I soak my items in this sink?”
Apr 23, 2010 at 7:27 am rating: 90
#12
Blogmella
I’m quite motherly, so normally I’d just wash whatever dishes were there, mine or anyone else’s. These poems, however, would make me want to fill the sink with human sh*t and walk away.
I do like the smileys on the first one, though.
Apr 23, 2010 at 8:30 am rating: 90
#13
Bored at Work
So, do you think notewriter #2 would wash the knife before stabbing them in the eye?
Apr 23, 2010 at 8:43 am rating: 90
#14
Team Me
Honestly, I couldn’t finish reading any of them.
Apr 23, 2010 at 8:49 am rating: 90
#15
Splint Chesthair
Before I was married, I had one bowl, one plate, one mug, a cutting knife, a butter knife, a fork and a spoon.
It’s a good system, you only have one of each so it minimizes total dirty dishes possible. Also, if it’s dirty, and you need it, you need to wash it.
Suggest system with names imprinted on one piece of each. Problem fixed.
Apr 23, 2010 at 8:51 am rating: 90
#16
Bunnee
Well, at least the second one is pleasing to the eye–it’s multi colored, “framed”, and each stanza is blocked off. Then there’s the humorous “stabbing in the eye” part……Oh, wait. I guess it’s not so pleasing to the eye.
Apr 23, 2010 at 9:13 am rating: 90
#17
Megan (Best of Fates)
The long poems are annoying, but that haiku? Now that’s brilliance.
Apr 23, 2010 at 9:49 am rating: 90
#18
Woman on the Verge
For goodness sakes, pitch the fucking dirty dishes and get paper plates and cups.
Apr 23, 2010 at 9:55 am rating: 90
#19
brandine
I love the little postscript at the bottom of note #1. Because the rest of the note is so abstract and metaphorical, the writer wanted to make sure the reader got the underlying message.
Team Haiku.
Apr 23, 2010 at 9:55 am rating: 90
#20
Joe
The notes remind me of this:
http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/71/
However, I’m not opposed to soaking a pot/bowl/whatever for a reasonable amount of time; it can often make cleaning the dish a lot easier. But then there’s just plain laziness.
Apr 23, 2010 at 10:07 am rating: 90
#21
Janice
I actually like b.
Apr 23, 2010 at 10:13 am rating: 90
#22
flying gargoyle
The Haiku wins, hands down.
I always found that a tongue-slightly-in-cheek threat to leave a saucer of milk hidden in the room or office of the offending (or suspected) party would get them to become good neighbors. The dishes would get cleaned and I never had to make good on the threat.
Apr 23, 2010 at 10:26 am rating: 90
#23
oi
“Still there? If so, you probably need a…”
Man! Kerry’s got that right! I have a feeling those little ditties have caused rupture in my brain and I can’t function anymore.
Apr 23, 2010 at 10:47 am rating: 90
#24
Anne H
In the 3rd poem, they used the wrong word. “Wrought” (adj., Having been worked or prepared somehow) should be “fraught” (adj., # Laden (of a ship etc.), Furnished, equipped (with), (figuratively) Loaded-up, charged or accompanied (with).).
Apr 23, 2010 at 11:51 am rating: 90
#25
Thanks!
These notes make me want to punch someone. I’ll bet the notewriters are the typical stick up the ass better than you but do absolutely nothing douchebags.
Apr 23, 2010 at 12:33 pm rating: 90
#26
claw71
If you’re going to sport PA poetry, at least borrow from the master.
MILTON! Thou shouldst be doing dishes at this hour.
The sink hath need of thee: it is a fen
Of food-filled waters: cup, spoon, *oops* and a pen!
Microwave side the burnt popcorn and pork sweet and sour
have been overcome by the fetid power
of backed up catch basins–such lazy men and women.
O clean this up, so we can mess it up again.
Apr 23, 2010 at 1:51 pm rating: 90
#27
Gunderson
Sorry, but Limericks are always superior to haiku’s in PA notes.
I once knew a man from Nantucket
Who had to wash his dishes in a bucket.
He said with a grin
as he rubbed his chin
“The cluttered sink is where I dropped my nugget”
/Limericks are also better because one can imagine a leprechaun is reading it to you.
But imagining a Samurai reading a haiku just doesn’t work as well
Apr 23, 2010 at 1:51 pm rating: 90
#28
G
This sink is your sink,
this sink is my sink.
From the kitchen counter
to the kitchen island,
dishes tower above me,
dishes scattered belo-ow me.
This sink was made for you and me.
Apr 23, 2010 at 2:17 pm rating: 90
#29
Edwina the Defrocked Nun
Team Haiku.
Apr 23, 2010 at 3:41 pm rating: 90
#30
Mack
#1. Because one might have to soak a dish. Period. It’s part of washing them. They all make my eyes bleed though, excluding the haiku. Because that’s just awesome clever.
Apr 23, 2010 at 4:06 pm rating: 90
#31
haiku!
The haiku is from my office! It was one in a series — haiku, limericks, etc. So curious to know who else on that floor is reading (and submitting to) PA notes.
Apr 23, 2010 at 5:06 pm rating: 90
#32
Denny DelVecchio
Had I read the top one in my wan, college days, your sink would have become my toilet.
Apr 23, 2010 at 8:12 pm rating: 90
#33
aaa
You sully haiku
Too good for your petty shit
Gonna go sulk now…
Apr 23, 2010 at 9:00 pm rating: 90
#34
Mohandas Grande
If I see dishes soaking in a sink unattended I just toss them.
Apr 23, 2010 at 11:30 pm rating: 90
#35
Blogmella
It makes me very upset,
When you leave your dirty plates,
Because I am a virgin,
And I haven’t any mates.
Apr 24, 2010 at 4:42 am rating: 90
#36
Muppetkiller
Except for the haiku, all of the other authors could have cleaned the dishes in the amount of time that it took them to write their poetry.
Apr 24, 2010 at 10:09 am rating: 90
#37
TacoSpice
This happened at work. Some guests arrived and the mgr. thought it would be cute to serve them coffee in real cups (we had paper cups available). Afterward, he put all 5 cups in the sink and they stayed there for a few days. No one would touch them. No one took responsibility, so I threw them all away. End of story. No need for any notes. Ahhh, felt good, too.
Apr 24, 2010 at 4:37 pm rating: 90
#38
kp
I self confess for leaving passive aggressive notes about soaking dishes. It was a neat little XX Number of days since dishes started soaking note that was incremented every day. However, I no longer felt like an asshole when the number got above 21 days.
Apr 25, 2010 at 11:34 am rating: 90
#39
Denny DelVecchio
Haiku? No.
Dirty limerick? Yes, please.
Apr 25, 2010 at 12:35 pm rating: 90
#40
TacoSpice
There once were some dishes so greasy
Their stench made me feel very queasy
Its owners were lazy
Their memories hazy
and their rotten behavior was cheesy
Apr 25, 2010 at 7:19 pm rating: 90
#41
undrline
I work in a big office. Someone does keep leaving their stuff to soak in the sink. It appears that they believe that putting it in the front left corner somehow makes it less nasty/in the way/selfish/rude. How do I get them to stop without leaving a note? I’m likely never to meet this person or find out who it is …
Apr 26, 2010 at 2:18 am rating: 90
#42
Ozymandias
I have a cousin who wouldn’t have to wash dishes at the North Carolina dorm suite. He was actually born in a barn.
May 28, 2010 at 11:06 pm rating: 90
#43 Kitchen Sink Etiquette
[…] or Ill stab you in the eye PassiveAggressiveNotes source […]
Jun 7, 2014 at 2:04 pm rating: 90
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