You burned my feelings

April 26th, 2010 · 206 comments

One Saturday, John was in the basement watching the end of a football game when his 8-year-old daughter came down to ask when they’d be leaving for the beach. Just another 20 minutes or so, he told her.

“Eventually, the game ended and we went out,” John says. “But when I went to bed that night, I found this note sitting on my pillow. The tragedy of it all, combined with the warning — and offset by the pretty border and the flower — really make for a lovely package.”

Never put nature aside for telivision [sic]. You burned my feelings today, and I am warning you never to do what you did today again.

related: Mad, but not mad enough to forego a French braid

FILED UNDER: Father-daughter notes · football · guilt trip · kids · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · TV · warning


206 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Greg

    Wow… precocious little munchkin, or The Bad Seed waiting to bloom? It actually sounds ominous… (oh yeah do i have to say “first?”)

    Apr 26, 2010 at 6:36 pm   rating: 61  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   AuntyBron

      I pictured “Children of the Corn”

      Apr 26, 2010 at 11:48 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Dani

      Ya, if I’d given my parents something like this, I would have gotten a nice, LONG lecture about respect and patience, and missed out on dessert for a week.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 3:08 am   rating: 84  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   hampshireflyer

      Really, that’s Outnumbered standard :)

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:56 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   oi bang

    This is outrage. What’s up with kiddie PANs every other day?
    How am I suppose to snark at cutesy 8 years olds? I can’t do it, not even with anonymity of internet.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 6:37 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Jonathan

      Team Nature here.

      As for PAN in general, all I can really think to say is: Eight-year-olds, Dude.

      Apr 26, 2010 at 6:40 pm   rating: 69  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Some one else

      Yes, half the fun is mocking the errors made by the self-righteous authors of notes, but criticizing children for misspelling “television” simply isn’t that fulfilling.

      It’s a pity really, because I could have had fun with “never to do what you did today again”…

      Apr 26, 2010 at 7:28 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   aaa bang

      I can snark at an 8 year old. How else are they going to learn that their petty desires are completely irrelevant to everyone else? It takes a lot of love to crush a small child’s dreams, you know.

      Apr 26, 2010 at 11:52 pm   rating: 106  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Google

      Don’t worry about the anonymity. We know who you are.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 10:37 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Woman on the Verge bang

      Who do you think you are, Google? Facebook?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 10:57 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   oi

      oh I know! Google knows everything. They also know that you are going commando today. :P

      Apr 27, 2010 at 11:40 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Grumpy McGrumperson

      Snark at their parents, or family members…the little ones learnt it somewhere!

      Apr 27, 2010 at 1:11 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   RA

      lookhowcutemykidis.com

      Apr 28, 2010 at 3:19 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Elizabeth

    Given that we’re talking about football, “another 20 minutes” probably worked out to an hour and a half. Team note writer!

    Apr 26, 2010 at 6:47 pm   rating: 166  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   tlm

    I dunno– anyone else vaguely uncomfortable with the demanding tones of the kids’ PANs lately? Seems like too many parents are so intent on being “pals” with their kids that the young ‘uns have lost nearly all respect.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 7:05 pm   rating: 82  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      I agree. If I got this note, I’d be all, “aww you done did it now, sassin me like that, child!”

      Apr 27, 2010 at 10:54 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Gaybargh

      “Dont you warn me!”. *smack*

      Apr 27, 2010 at 1:25 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Luna (the other one)

      I have received my share of PAN’s from children over the years. It inevitably happens if you teach your children to think for themselves. However, once you get one, you can go into the next lesson – when it is or isn’t appropriate to share those thoughts. Kids don’t have the same censors adults do because they haven’t been taught yet… well, some never get taught but that just leads to the funny adult PAN’s.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 1:29 pm   rating: 65  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Woman on the Verge bang

    I’m picturing the kid’s eyes glowing red as she stands over Daddy while he sleeps, a kitchen knife dangling from one trembling fist and a sand shovel from the other…

    Apr 26, 2010 at 7:13 pm   rating: 76  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   felix

    Not sure if it’s all that passive-aggressive but it’s 100% awesome.

    One more for team note-writer.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 7:33 pm   rating: 73  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Escape Goat

      Regan sent a similar note to Father Merrin in a deleted scene from “The Exorcist.”

      Apr 26, 2010 at 8:46 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   farcical aquatic ceremony

      she quickly realized a little girl could never hope to get a Catholic priest’s attention; upping the ante to ‘possessed little girl’ was her only option, really…

      Apr 26, 2010 at 9:09 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Margaret

      I’m with you on this one Felix! Nature over TV anyday! What an awesome little girl.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 9:54 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Having Fitz

    Someone would end up with a very warm backside if I found this note on my pillow. Not only was Dad expected to drop everything because Princess said so, but then she “warns him” not to do it again? Team “You’re grounded until you’re 50″.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 7:39 pm   rating: 103  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Escape Goat

      Daddy?

      Apr 26, 2010 at 9:01 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Kayley

      If you promise your kid something, you should keep that promise. A kid is a human being, not some kind of object to be treated like dirt. You should cherish a child’s ability to act independently; otherwise, they’ll just become another mindless teenage drone who conforms to the majority opinion. I fear for your child in the future – not to mention, spanking a child is a form of classical conditioning that can have lasting, negative psychological effects.

      It’s also important to note that such a young child might not have the ability to discern what is right or wrong to say…you shouldn’t physically abuse the child because of that; you should instead teach them verbally how to make that differentiation.

      If only there could be some kind of test to be passed before becoming a parent. :/ No wonder a majority of our young population is messed up (and I’m a part of them…trying to work on scholarship applications but I can’t focus because my dad is blasting the TV downstairs. It always pains me that I’m more responsible than him…he owes me $1000 too.)

      EDIT: Hahaha, then again, maybe I took a comment seriously that I wasn’t supposed to. But, if you were serious, my comment is a serious reaction. If you weren’t serious, then….

      Apr 29, 2010 at 11:41 pm   rating: 81  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   mlw

    Nice use of a comma for an 8-year-old!

    Apr 26, 2010 at 7:41 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   claw71 bang

    Of course John failed to disclose how much longer the game actually went on. When he gave her the 20 minute estimate did he simply base it on the time remaining or did he adjust for real time? Guys are notorious for quoting the time remaining on the game clock but that doesn’t include the variety of time-outs that will be utilized.

    Here’s what I think happened:

    John promised to take his daughter to the beach on Saturday. He didn’t specify when, nor did he stipulate that they would be going after the game. So the 8-year-old figured that the beach would consume all of Saturday’s effective time.

    John got absorbed in his game and forgot about the beach. He could have recorded it on the DVR or even listened to the game on the radio on the way to, and later at the beach. He didn’t use that option. He could have used mobile updates to keep track of the game or, if he didn’t cheap out on the wireless plan, watched the game from his handheld.

    When he told his daughter the game would be over in 20 minutes he was shining her on with a low ball estimate based on the fact that the 3rd quarter had just ended. Heh.

    Of course each team had 3 time outs left, and the network back loaded commercials. The officials reviewed a ton of plays in the final two minutes which resulted in 20 minutes right there, not to mention the other 13 minutes of playing time. All told, 45 minutes passed from the point at which John told her “20 minutes or so” and when he finally got his ass off the couch. Then you had 20 minutes of getting the car loaded up and another 40 wasted on driving and parking.

    “Or so” entailed an hour and 25 minutes. John’s lucky he didn’t have his head bashed in with an Etch-a-Sketch.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 7:45 pm   rating: 237  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   PunkyPower

      Well said. Who goes to the beach after a game anyway? It’s it usually late afternoon by the time a day game ends? Wasted day if you ask me. Team note writer!

      Apr 26, 2010 at 8:58 pm   rating: 61  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   farcical aquatic ceremony

      I think you’re spot-on, Claw. “EVENTUALLY, the game ended and we went out”– you’re totally busted, John!

      Of course, the significance of your bustedness pales in comparison to the fact that you’re sharing a roof with a kid whose thoughts turn to FIRE whenever you disappoint her.

      Apr 26, 2010 at 9:05 pm   rating: 66  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   parentfirst

      “John’s lucky he didn’t have his head bashed in with an Etch-a-Sketch.”
      Excuse me, you seem to have missed something very important here. SHE IS 8! HE IS HER FATHER!! CHILD. ADULT. Granted it would have been better had he recorded the game, or even if she had ASKED ” please, Dad, could you record the game?” But to take such a tone and ORDER/WARN any adult in her life. . . NOT ACCEPTABLE. Parents are NOT pals. They need to be teachers.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 11:57 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      Wow. You are really over-excited. Relax. It was a sarcastic comment, dude.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:12 pm   rating: 57  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   parentfirst

      Then claw71 is very bad at sarcasm, Woman on the Verge.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   Woman on the Verge bang

      Really? Wow. I thought he was pretty good at it.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:53 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   oi bang

      and you are bad at humor!

      This comment is a lie was lying hidden in the time-space conundrum.

      It just now pooped up but curiously light green!
      It’s like a case of Benjamin Button except for it born teenager instead of an old man!

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:56 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   oi bang

      pissst parentfirst, your lack of humor is showing.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:59 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   anglophile bang

      I can hardly wait til parentfirst finds out about claw’s attitude toward Girl Scouts.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 1:33 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.10   claw71 bang

      Wow! Parentfirst has really put me in my place, I guess.

      Does that opening statement meet your discerning criteria for quality sarcasm, parentfirst? Probably not.

      I find your position interesting. You’ve clearly taken John’s side, but not in the humorous way I suspect he intended when he submitted this note to Kerry. You see his daughter’s note as some horrible offense that must be dealt with accordingly. Fine, but what of the responsibility of parents to set a good example?

      I don’t think John’s a bad guy but I do believe that he betrayed his daughter’s trust by promising her a day at the beach and then getting absorbed in a football game. It’s not the crime of the century by any means, but if you’re going to take this seriously, let’s take a serious look at his actions as a parent. Children learn through actions. That’s why it’s so important to set an example. If you want your children to follow through on their promises you have to follow through on yours. If you want them to be unselfish, you have to demonstrate unselfish behavior when you deal with them.

      It’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but if John promised to take his daughter to the beach he had an obligation to make that a priority. If he wanted to watch the football game in his man cave then he shouldn’t have said he was going to take her to the beach.

      Personally, I find her assertive nature more than a little alluring and I wonder what the age of consent is in her home state.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 2:39 pm   rating: 132  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.11   Woman on the Verge bang

      Claw, I am not allowed to thumb you, and for that I am sincerely sorry. I agree with everything you said… except for the alluring part.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 3:15 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.12   TheOldSchool bang

      I am the only one who got “goosebumps of titillation”* from reading the Nick and Nora-like banter that took place between claw and parentfirst?

      * goosebumps of titillation = a partial boner.**

      ** (But one that could easily reformulate into something decidedly more projectile with just a wee bit more of this type of saucy repartee.)

      Apr 27, 2010 at 3:22 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.13   Woman on the Verge bang

      Consider yourself thumbed, TOS. That might help you out a bit.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 3:39 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.14   aaa bang

      Jeezy creezy you people! Don’t you know that the internet is serious business? Goddamn, what the hell is wrong with you all?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 4:05 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.15   ashmeadow

      Like you’d wait for the age of consent, claw.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 11:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.16   Law

      Well, if she wants to have a relationship with men, she’s eventually going to have to learn that most of them love sports, including football, and that the games run long. Best that dad teach her this fact of life now.

      May 6, 2010 at 4:30 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Blogmella bang

    She sounds like a vile little monster.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 7:52 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   captainbitchslap

    I like how she decided that green border and green lettering would not be scary enough, so she switched to black… But left the flower in to illustrate nature.

    Team “Creepy 8-yr olds”

    Apr 26, 2010 at 8:04 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Some one else

      I got the impression that the black lettering was written with the charcoal of her burned feelings.

      Apr 26, 2010 at 8:36 pm   rating: 112  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Escape Goat

    Actually, this PAN was sent by that pretty purple flower … the one with the evil red eye.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 8:44 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Joe Blow

    Future serial killer.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 8:49 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Escape Goat

    If I ever wrote a note like this to my father, he woulda burnt my ass next.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 8:55 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Catburglar

      Too f-ing true.

      Apr 26, 2010 at 9:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Catburglar

    Oh, oh how I wish I were that 8-year-old. I never dared to write such a note to my father (or mother) when they disappointed me in cynical adult ways, but how many notes like this did I imagine in my head! Had I been able to simply write a note like this, w/o worrying about being “physically disciplined” for being “uppity”, how different things would be.

    Sigh

    Team 8-year-old, AND team parent. Kudos to all.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 9:02 pm   rating: 52  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   parentfirst

      Things would be different all right, but maybe not for the better!! no 8 year old SHOULD dare to use such a tone to an adult. A little fear/respect for people with more life experience and knowledge is a good thing. We are NOT born social creatures.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:21 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   farcical aquatic ceremony

      dude! I was so irritated at your apparent determination to wring the fun out of this page I ACCIDENTALLY HIT YOUR THUMB-UP BUTTON; please know that you deserve (at least) one fewer ‘thumb up’ than the count shows.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:41 pm   rating: 74  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   aaa bang

      Okay, parentfirst, since you want people to pay attention to you. There. I did it. I paid attention to you. Now will you stop trying to kill the funny?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 4:07 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Shannon

    This kid needs a spanking — which is precisely what she would have gotten if she were my kid. “Warning” your parent not to make you wait again to be taken to the beach? That little brat would forget what a beach looks like if I were in charge (of course, that’s assuming the parent is in charge, whereas in this case it’s pretty obvious Princess Polly Prissy Pants runs the show). Team Teaching Your Kid to Respect Her Elders.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 9:02 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Catburglar

      Team “teaching your kid that power means never having to admit that you said one thing and did another.” Fan-fucking-tastic.

      Apr 26, 2010 at 9:07 pm   rating: 145  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Flaboy2425

      I have to assume that you were never eight-years-old and never got really excited about anything you were promised. Kids are people first, kids second. Expect them to learn more by example than by the seat of their pants. A quick hand to the butt seldom teaches anything other than the wielder gets a sore hand.

      My experience is that respect earned lasts longer than respect demanded.

      Apr 26, 2010 at 9:38 pm   rating: 92  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   mamason bang

      Hey! He took the little bitch to the beach, didn’t he?

      Apr 26, 2010 at 10:49 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   TippingCows

      I see both sides to this. I think if John promised a certain time and did not follow through that is not cool. However if there was not a time decided upon or a certain time at the beach promised (meaning a couple of hours, and Dad doesn’t want to leave until 5pm, that’s not exactly prime beach time), then she goes when Daddy is ready. Daughter is not in charge.
      If Dad said twenty minutes and it turned into more than that, that is not cool either. That gets an apology but also, demanding one for the daughter “talking” to her father like that.
      Both probably owe an apology, but John is a Dad first and a friend later, and needs to let her know that her note was not appropriate. Similarly, he may have acted dishonestly as well. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Apologize and/or recognize where you went wrong (on both counts) and move on with life. Lessons learned for dad and daughter.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:32 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   GhostWriter bang

      When I was eight, my parents promised to get me a A Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock, and they never delivered, unless you count my 18th birthday, when I was drafted.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:20 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   parentfirst

      TippingCows has the best idea yet. Kudos to you.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   farcical aquatic ceremony

      jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, parentfirst, are you just TRYING to kill the humor wherever it pops up? There GhostWriter was, gettin’ the ball rolling again, and it’s as if you took said ball away from us kiddies and stuck it on the highest shelf in the pendant closet. Maybe when you’re done watching the game we can have it back..?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:48 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.8   Woman on the Verge bang

      Everyone take a deep cleansing breath. Daddy fucked up by saying 20 minutes. Kiddo expressed her anger, which should not be bottled up lest she become a serial killer later in life, by communicating her anger quite effectively. She used terms and phrases she has learned from Daddy Dearest.

      Now, please, parentfirst, let it go. This isn’t a parenting forum.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 1:01 pm   rating: 61  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.9   Sergeant Dad

      Spanking?? That won’t teach this whiny little brat anything.

      Beat her with a baseball bat, lock her in her room, and then ship her off to the Army. That’ll make a man out of her.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 1:04 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.10   gavin

      Woah now nellies, this has turned into an episode of Supernanny, dont you think?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 2:13 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.11   TippingCows

      Even better – take away her crayons, her socks, and don’t let her cut her fingerails or toenails for three months. That’s some cutting edge parenting right there.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 3:30 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.12   infant tyrone bang

      Team Poppa Sarge…Sweden is passé and Johns Hopkins takes forever.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 6:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.13   parentfirst

      interesting how even agreeing with wrong on both sides doesn’t appease some. And, no, I’ve not seen the humor/sarcasm in any of the statements to which i responded. i’m not allowed my opinion i guess. oh well.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 12:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.14   mamason bang

      You’re certainly allowed your opinion, just as we are allowed to opine over your need to teach parenting classes at a site meant to be funny. The fact that you can’t seem to find any humor here is sad for you. Perhaps you should unclench and join a serious parenting discussion blog. Dude… 8-)

      Apr 28, 2010 at 1:18 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Shannon

    Catburglar, how did the father say one thing and do another? He told her he’d take her to the beach on Saturday — which he did. The precious snowflake was just mad that he didn’t do it according to HER schedule.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 9:09 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   HappyNat

      Imagine that kids thinking of themselves . . . better resort to violence.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 9:37 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Amy

    Geez, I love how many people here are all about smacking around kids when they get something like this. If the girl was such a little Princess, she would have pitched a fit right then and there when Daddy said wait 20 minutes. Instead she wrote a note about her feelings. Sure, the ending sounds kind of ominous from an adult point of view, but how many eight year olds know nuance? How many eight years olds can sit down and write a thoughtful letter detailing how they were disappointed and hurt and don’t want to be treated like that again? Kids have simplistic minds. It seemed she felt Dad was putting TV before time with her.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 9:28 pm   rating: 168  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   mamason bang

      It was THE GAME! DUH!

      Apr 26, 2010 at 10:51 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Blurb

      And I just lost it.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:47 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   MonaLisa (inCT)

      Amy, you expressed my thoughts exactly. Thank you!

      Apr 28, 2010 at 6:18 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   seacurs

    We always had this happen to us when I was a kid. Dad would say we were going to go swimming or skiing or to Denver or Cheyenne.
    But first he had to stop by the field and do something with a tractor or combine or whatever, and about six hours later we’d go back home without ever doing what we set out to do.
    It has become something of a running joke in the family and is probably responsible for my habit of never leaving the house without a book (or two).
    I would never have had the balls to have left a note like that. Besides, once in a while we did actually make it somewhere and it was always fun. My dad is awesome.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 9:59 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   mamason bang

    This just exemplifies the growing sense of entitlement our children have today. I know my little one wants to eat every fucking day, if you can believe that.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 10:54 pm   rating: 86  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Catburglar

      That’s right! Jeesh, and be spoken to, and when they want clothing, they want ME to buy it. You want clothing, get a job! Damn kids…

      Apr 26, 2010 at 11:03 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      The grand babies sat down to eat at my house the other day, looked at what I put in front of them, then looked at me and said. “We don’t want this – we want chicken noodle soup”. I told them that it was eat what was there or not, Grandma is not a short order cook. I can not help but wonder what mother sets herself up for that kind of grief.

      Apr 26, 2010 at 11:24 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   TippingCows

      You go Mama! Woot! Woot!

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.4   ArfArf

      I keep telling my kids, “I’m not gonna keep buying you food if you keep EATING IT!”

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:38 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.5   Woman on the Verge bang

      When I get complaints about what I serve for dinner, my response is: “Don’t eat it. You know when breakfast will be.”

      Apr 27, 2010 at 9:21 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.6   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      Once when I was a kid, I complained to my grandparents that I couldn’t eat nuts when they served me something with nuts. They made me eat the nuts anyways. I got quite ill. I cried. They put me in this room in the basement that had a bunch of old hockey gear in it and they locked me in there. All I could think about was killing them.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 11:09 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.7   ashmeadow

      Maybe you should have written a note, Scribbles.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 11:57 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Rusty

    What is more shocking is the side people are taking on this situation. This girl is probably the most enlightened one in this family. She’s right. I wouldnt waste a second watching any sports event on tv when I could be spending time with my child at the beach. It’s perfectly fine to enjoy your team, but seriously, Even if they win the superbowl, how is that better than qt with your kid? Its disheartening what people prioritize in their lives. I don’t care if I spent the last 167 hours of the week with my child, if she asks for that last hour of the week, it would be the easiest request to grant of my life.

    Apr 26, 2010 at 11:02 pm   rating: 92  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Catburglar

      Rusty, will you be my dad?

      Apr 26, 2010 at 11:08 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Rusty

      Catburglar, I’ll look out for you for sure:) The two most reassuring and hopeful phrases in the english language (that dont involve romantic love) are “everything will be ok” and… “there’s always something more”. Just saying.

      Apr 26, 2010 at 11:29 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   mamason bang

      I would just like to state for the record that I don’t care how gay Rusty is. Rusty can have all the gay butt sex he wants. It’s no skin off my anus. I’m sure any gay child would be lucky to have Rusty as a gay parent. I love the gays. Without the gays, who would decorate our homes? Do our hair? Design our haute couture? I love you Rusty and I’m sure, with a little time, I’ll come to love your life partner, too.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:33 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   Laura

      Rusty makes me vomit. Just saying.

      (Rusty Von Trapp per chance?)

      Apr 27, 2010 at 9:06 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   Woman on the Verge bang

      Rusty, your kids are lucky to have you. That being said, the comments here are going for biting sarcasm. Not to worry.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 9:23 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.6   Splint Chesthair

      Rusty sounds nice on paper but ultimately he’s teaching his kids that only their wishes and desires matter. I love spending time with my kids but I also enjoy biking and hiking. Sometimes I do these with the kids but sometimes I go places the kids just aren’t ready for.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 9:32 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.7   anglophile bang

      Rusty, what the hell is wrong with you? You would take your kid to the beach rather than watch the Superbowl? Are you a nutcase? You’ll catch your death out there in February.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 9:36 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.8   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      I don’t care if the house is on fire and monkeys are playing nearby with a rifle. If my team is in the Stanley Cup playoffs, I’m on the couch with my pants down and a beer in my hand.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 11:15 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.9   mamason bang

      C-A-P-S ! CAPS! CAPS! CAPS!

      Apr 27, 2010 at 11:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.10   Woman on the Verge bang

      Scribbles… I’m not sure I want to ask, but why are your pants down?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 11:39 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.11   Splint Chesthair

      Who watches TV with their pants on?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:14 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.12   parentfirst

      AAHH, but you want it to be a REQUEST, not an order.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.13   thursdaynext

      “how is that better than qt with your kid?”

      Becuase kids are dull.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 2:26 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.14   park rose bang

      I have a feeling that Scribbles and Splint never put TV aside for nature, WotV. I’m just hoping that the makeshift chamber pot, and bottle for pissing into are not too far away when needed, and well secured when done with.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 5:33 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.15   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      You can watch nature on TV. Duh.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 10:01 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   mamason bang

    Never interupt my game again for nature. You burned up my game time today, and I’m warning you to never do what you did today again or I’ll be burning your little butt with the switch you’ll be getting from the backyard.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 12:39 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Geek_Kittie

    I’m surprised so many people consider this note an act of disrespect or entitlement. As someone pointed out earlier, if the child had truly been a spoiled brat she would have thrown a screaming fit. This seems like a quite reasonable response of expressing her thoughts and feelings.

    I’d much rather receive a curt note with pretty flowers than a shrieking 8 year old.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 9:12 am   rating: 60  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Splint Chesthair

    I admire the letter. It’s a great way to deal with feelings. I don’t think I’d be able to deal with my feelings that well at age 8. However, I believe the warning requires a talk about communication and meeting of the minds explaining what was agreed upon and what the child assumed and why it’s important to figure those things out. Kids can be unreasonable (shock), just this Saturday, my kid woke up and out of the blue said, I can’t wait to go to Great Adventure today after breakfast! I said who are you going with? He said, “Well my friends said they’re going and I said I’d meet them there and you could take me.” Great Adventure is 4 hours away from us and he woke up at 10A.M. and also had a baseball game at noon. He cried for a while when I told him I didn’t think we’d be able to make it.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 9:25 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Shannon

      Seriously? You think this is a reasonable way for an 8 year-old to talk to her father? If the little angel had written a letter in which she conveyed that daddy watching the game instead of taking her to the beach hurt her feelings, than I would think that’s great. But by ordering her father to “never” do it again and then “warning” him about it crosses the line. She needs to be taught that mom and dad are in charge of making the rules, not her.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 3:01 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Geek_Kittie

      Seriously? Judging from these comments it appears that everyone here was a perfect angel who never gave mom and dad an ounce of lip.

      Please, you were all little terrors at some point in your childhood. Most children do misbehave or overreact. (Which isn’t to say it should be left undisciplined, but it happens regardless.)

      Also, the child is just repeating the kind of language she hears already. It’s not uncommon for kids to use and botch grown up language.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 9:34 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   anglophile bang

      Seriously? Don’t take anything in the PAN comments seriously.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 9:51 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   mamason bang

      Seriously, I don’t know how to take your last comment, glo. If I were to take your comment seriously and not take any of the comments here seriously I would be negating your statement to not take any of the comments seriously. I’m so confused.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 10:45 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.5   Mark bang

      I am serious… and don’t call me Shirley.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 10:57 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.6   parentfirst

      Shannon! the voice of reason in the wilderness!!

      Apr 28, 2010 at 12:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   sleeps

    ‘Never put nature aside nature for television’? That is not the thought or phrasing of an 8 year old. Team I-think-mom-is-behind-this-note. Many years has wifey been brushed aside in favor of the football game. Now, finally, she can use her child in the ultimate form of passive aggression.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 9:29 am   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Geek_Kittie

      Children can surprise you. My 8 year old niece had a homework assignment where you complete the sentence. It went “If I had a 100 ___, I would ___”

      My niece wrote “If I had a 100 eyes I would have compound vision.”

      Well, I thought that was interesting at least.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 9:26 am   rating: 46  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Wordtinker doesnt smith bang

    Am I the only one who gets the irony? She isn’t being disrespectful. She’s repeating exactly what she hears from her parents all the time.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 9:30 am   rating: 58  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      Thank you, tink. That’s it exactly.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 9:46 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   sleeps

      Oh, irony! Oh no, we don’t get that here. See, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony’s not really a high priority. We haven’t had any irony here since about ’83, when I was the only practitioner of it. And I stopped because I was tired of being stared at.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 10:30 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   mamason bang

      I hate ironing.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 11:27 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.4   gladystopia

      Wait–there’s topless dope-smoking skiing and NOBODY INVITED ME???

      My feelings are seriously burnt, dude.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 6:20 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.5   mamason bang

      I tried to warn you.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 6:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   D

    My first thought is that yes, this kid is spoiled and/or her parents don’t discipline her, just because that seems to be the norm nowadays. Personally I find it disgusting when a parent lets their kid do whatever they want without respect for others.

    On the other hand, I do remember being a kid and being disappointed by broken promises again and again, and while I would never have had the courage to write a note like that, I can say that it taught me that people don’t keep their promises, they cannot be relied upon, and that nothing people say can be trusted. I am a very, very distrustful adult now and am usually shocked when someone is nice because I expect the worst.

    Of course a few instances of this growing up is to be expected and won’t generally leave somebody scarred for life, but when the parent makes a habit of showing that their word is no good, what’s the child to expect later on?

    Apr 27, 2010 at 9:48 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Splint Chesthair

      Agreed, broken promises are one thing but my kid is mad at me for not agreeing to fly him to Cleveland and hang out with Lebron James. I don’t think it matters that his feelings are burned over this.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 10:08 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   oi bang

    I have second thoughts.
    everybody is harping on this kid for warning his dad but I think it’s more disturbing that she wants to go to beach because it’s a superior activity than watching tv. When I was a kid I wanted go to beach because it’s a freaking beach not because tv would fuck up my eyes or me. (I don’t claim not being fucked up individual…) oh and she’s got raw talent for PANs. Look at her specimen. she got cutesy border, flower, illusion of greater good intesions instead of a real problem, and most important warning via note! I have a notion that when she grows up she’d beat around the bush so much that proverbial earth would go bald.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 10:18 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Luna (the other one)

      Oi, I’d like to point out that they teach children this in school. My 7 year old comes home babbling about eating healthy food, going outside to play, expressing her feelings, yada yada yada. What’s a mother to do?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 2:08 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   oi bang

      damn! kids today! They actually learn shit in the schools! In my time it was the most horrendous crime you can commit. SCHOOL = JAIL You do bare minimum to get out of it ASAP.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 4:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   parentfirst

      AAHH, humor!

      Apr 28, 2010 at 12:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.4   mamason bang

      I believe that just may actually be sarcasm. :-|

      Apr 28, 2010 at 1:20 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Cady

    Whoa. This kid is not f*cking around.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 11:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   anglophile bang

      We don’t fuck around, either, Cady. Spell it out, go on.

      F U C K

      Feels good, don’t it?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 1:23 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      Damn it, glo, I can’t thumb you.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 2:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Woman on the Verge bang

    I love how everyone is getting all Parenting Preachy! Get a grip. This is NOT a parenting forum. This is a HUMOR forum. Take your “she’s the kid; don’t be a friend be a parent” crap somewhere else. If you don’t get it, I’m pretty sure we can get Little Miss Never-Put-Nature-Aside to write you a note.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 12:15 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   mamason bang

      What? I have developed all of my life strategies, including how I parent, from this site! 8-O

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:37 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      Exactly, mamason.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #30.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      Exactly, mama.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 1:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Sam S

    I thought all girls are usually very sweet-natured until they suddenly hit adolescence.

    Christ, can you imagine this girl turning 12? The dad better wear a cup made out of titanium.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 12:34 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   mamason bang

      Kids are maturing much faster these days. I think it’s all the hormones in cow’s milk.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 12:40 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #32   GhostWriter bang

    I’m calling Bullshit on John. His story doesn’t add up.

    If they had actually made it to the beach, she’d have never written a note like that. Unless she’s really Stewie Griffin, which makes John Peter, and only supports the notion that he never got out of the basement.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 12:40 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   Sooky

    I wonder, did he even bother to talk to her the next day about having hurt her feelings? Maybe tubbo can put his kids before TV next time. Just record it mate. Watch it later when you get home after the kids are asleep.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 12:43 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Team notewriter

    Who watches football when they could be at the beach?

    Apr 27, 2010 at 12:55 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   anglophile bang

      Me. I watch football when I could be at the beach. I like football. I don’t like the beach. I’d rather clean my bathroom than go to the beach, that’s how much the beach sucks.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 2:59 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   claw71 bang

      You live in Wisconsin, glo, where beaches are either frozen or ensconced with swarms of various biting insects (black flies are my particular favorite).

      Apr 27, 2010 at 3:03 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      Glo, I’ll go to the beach – you clean my bathroom.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 3:18 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.4   mamason bang

      Oh, can she wear the little outfit?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 4:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.5   mamason bang

      and btw…

      I love the beach. I especially love that wad of sand that gets trapped in that little crotch pocket that is inexplicably sewn into every woman’s bathing suit.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 5:57 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.6   sleeps

      Crotch pocket = my new insult for the week

      Apr 27, 2010 at 7:03 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.7   The Elf

      Since both Daddy and Little Girl have a good point in their defense, I’m going to have to go with Team Crotch Pocket.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 10:40 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   Lowell bang

    Team Daddy!

    Kids are spoiled little brats.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 12:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   Luna (the other one)

    LOL Since I can’t thumb anyone right now due to a computer glitch that may or may not be my fault, everyone awesome just consider yourselves thumbed. You know who you are.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 1:43 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   El Cerebro

    Oh, the PAN notes I wrote when I was that age!

    Good thing my dad kept them…I’ll have to submit a couple of them one of these days.

    P.S: I did not turn out to be a serial killer, well, not that I’m aware of anyways…

    Apr 27, 2010 at 2:05 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   infant tyrone bang

      Blackout drinking covers a multitude of activities.
      Be thankful, if you remembered it all, you might feel guilty.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 6:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   sirrix

    This is not passive-aggressive. It is a direct letter which requests something actively, not passively. Passive-aggressive is becoming the new “your/you’re” on the internet. It’s really quite sad that no one knows what this means.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 2:28 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   GhostWriter bang

      HAHaha- I love the part where he said it’s becoming the new your.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 2:30 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.2   anglophile bang

      Maybe Kerry needs to add a “hey, that’s not passive-aggressive” link right next to the Submit button.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 2:54 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.3   claw71 bang

      sirrix has become the new douche bag on the internet. John Mayer doesn’t know whether to be happy or jealous.

      Sorry, sirrix, better men than you have tried to take a piss on this site with their persnickety semantics only to end up showering their shoes. You didn’t even get past your tighty-whities. Thanks for playing.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 2:59 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.4   Blogmella bang

      I’m as horrified as you are, sirrix! The internet is a serious business and your the only person on here who seems to have noticed.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 3:44 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.5   aaa bang

      Hey sirrix, take a look at the top of your screen there. Notice where it says “funny (if not necessarily “passive-aggressive”) notes from pissed-off people”? Kerry’s got it covered.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 3:59 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.6   mamason bang

      Happy New Your!

      Apr 27, 2010 at 4:17 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.7   infant tyrone bang

      Sirrix,
      Since none of us seem to care about you’re interpretation of weather or not the note is P/A, I’d just like to know to who do you think your talking ?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 6:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #38.8   mamason bang

      Too. Its talking too.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 6:33 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #39   Denny DelVecchio

    Oh to able to take a red pen to that!

    Little Miss Sunshine wants to play in the passive-aggressive big leagues, she needs to be able to hit the pitching.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 2:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Melissa B

    My parents once burned my feelings… i retaliated … by burning other things.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 3:59 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   park rose bang

      Ah, so you’re the neighbourhood pyromaniac .My parents once had a tupperware party, I retaliated by becoming a pyrex. That’s Jack Sparrow with a penchant for sweating things out, and maybe having a predilection for self-immolation. My mother never breast fed me. At least not in public.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 5:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #41   Rosie L

    It seems like a lot of adults have forgotten what it was like to be a child. When I was 7, I remember crying because my mom was too busy to plan my birthday party with me, when my birthday was three months away. When you are a child, little things like this can be utterly crushing. I hate that this note and so many like it seek to belittle and make fun of the hurt feelings of kids. Once you grow up, you realize how unreasonable you were being, but kids don’t know any better, and their feelings are painfully real to them.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 4:33 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   mamason bang

      So, um… how is therapy going these days? :-|

      Apr 27, 2010 at 4:41 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.2   oi bang

      Internet is so cruel. Aren’t you guys ashamed of yourselves?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 4:41 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.3   mamason bang

      Nope… Maybe I just need a spanking.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 4:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.4   anglophile bang

      You know what I remember from when I was 7, Rosie? Crying over some lame shit like a baby and my mom telling me to shut up or she’d give me something to cry about. Guess what? I’m still alive.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 4:57 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.5   Woman on the Verge bang

      My feelings are still painfully real, aren’t yours? If not, you might be a zombie. I’m just sayin’…

      Apr 27, 2010 at 5:02 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.6   park rose bang

      Parents’ logic rocks, doesn’t it glo?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 5:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.7   Astounder

      Alive, anglophile, and apparently all the more bitter for the wear.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 5:13 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.8   anglophile bang

      I’m sorry, have we met, Astounder?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 5:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.9   mamason bang

      Oh shit. It’s on now.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 5:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.10   oi bang

      Frankly Astounder you are the one who sounds like a bitter guy right now.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 5:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.11   park rose bang

      I can’t speak for ‘glo, Astounder, but in my experience, you can’t sport a hair-shirt, and not be bitter for the wear. I deserve such discomfort, of course. It is the cross that we ascetics and penitents must bear. It makes for a nice coffee blend though, when they collect my pool of sweat, blood and tears and mix it with the beans. Oh, did I mention that I self-flagellate too? And walk on nails (barefoot). People definitely pay by the pound for my pound of flesh which is organically certified and divinely inspired.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 5:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.12   mamason bang

      I hate it when I have to self-flagellate. It makes me feel dirty. And lonely. And dirty.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 5:52 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.13   Mark bang

      I like to self-flatulate.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 5:55 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.14   park rose bang

      It’s better than self-immolating, though, I’m figuring, mama, which is what the wayward pyrex with abnormal genes do.

      BTW, you can light my fire any time, girl ♥ and we can flagellate together.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 5:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.15   park rose bang

      WOOT TOOT-TOOT, Mark!

      And maybe you can answer that age-old question. Does fart imitate life, or does life imitate fart? Philosophy’s a gas, ain’t it? Though I know some prefer the light and fluffy majors.

      Apr 27, 2010 at 5:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.16   mamason bang

      Your whip or mine, Rose? ;-)

      I’d give you a thumb, Mark, but I’m afraid you just might flatulate. 8-O

      Apr 27, 2010 at 6:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #41.17   park rose bang

      You bring the whip, I’ll bring the thumbscrews, or would you prefer nipple clamps? :twisted:

      Mama, I gave Mark a thumb. Venturing where even angels fear to tread. . . but, wait . . . who’s got an egg sandwich for dinner?

      Apr 27, 2010 at 6:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #42   Cordelia

    Team Sarah Bernhardt!! I love that she not only went over the top with her melodramatic note but that she was wily enough to wait until *after* she got her beach trip to issue her thinly veiled threat. Ten to one says this little girl will be showing this note to Barbara Walters before walking down the red carpet at the Oscars one day.

    Apr 27, 2010 at 7:15 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #42.1   oi!

      ditto! I too noticed that and thought she was an evil genius. She got her cake and ate it too!

      Apr 28, 2010 at 10:58 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #42.2   Cordelia

      Evil genius! Ha – yes, that’s perfect!!

      May 1, 2010 at 11:50 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #43   James

    Wow, this letter really scares me. Everything about the note has been worked to convey her sense of superiority, it seems that every nuance of it has been thought out ever so carefully. It seems that her parents have taught her appropriate skills for expressing her feelings and encourage her creativity, the kind of parenting that usually leads to well adjusted thoughtful adults, but she writes this purposeful cold blooded warning instead. Clearly any physical discipline, or I suspect any type of punishment what so ever would only make her behavior even more pronounced. I know it is only such a short message and I know nothing else about this girl but I really suspect she might be developing into a sociopath. Does she have any more notes for us?

    Apr 28, 2010 at 4:12 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #44   having a child doesn't make you a parent, ignoring one makes you an awful human being

    I teared up when I read her note. She is awesome. Her dad is a loser. I hope my future little girl is just like this.

    She’s definitely more intelligent than the majority of crappy parents commenting on this page.

    Too bad most of you think parenting is “Do what I say, or else.”

    Idiots.

    Apr 28, 2010 at 10:07 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   anglophile bang

      So, does that mean you’re not a parent yet? And you plan to meet every demand of your future child, whether reasonable or unreasonable? And you’re going to cry every time she looks at you with puppy-dog eyes and guilt-trips you because you didn’t give her your attention 24 hours a day?

      Good luck.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 10:27 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.2   RA

      “I teared up when I read her note. She is awesome. Her dad is a loser. I hope my future little girl is just like this.” (Lordy lord!)

      I puked up when I read her note. She is awful. Her dad thinks she’s cute. I hope future PANs are not like this.

      Come on PAN, ‘not written by person over the age of 18=seriously not funny’. Okay, there have been a few exceptions – but aren’t kids practically PA by nature?

      The whole point of PAN has gotta be it’s only fucking hilarious when adults are still doing this shit

      Apr 28, 2010 at 11:06 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.3   mamason bang

      No, it’s only fucking hilarious when we get our creative juices flowing in response to PANs.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 1:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.4   Mark bang

      Mama, we all know about your flowing juices.

      Apr 28, 2010 at 2:09 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.5   Woman on the Verge bang

      Jesus H. Christ, are we STILL dealing with morons about this note?

      Apr 28, 2010 at 2:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.6   RA

      Ok Ma, and all you juicy creative types, that too ;)

      But I like a good PAN in the morning, what’s wrong with that…

      Apr 28, 2010 at 6:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #44.7   Canthz_B bang

      I’m happy to be the type of idiot parent who didn’t respond to their liking when my children had an “I want it now!!!” attack.

      Idiots like me taught our children that patience is a virtue. That, like it or not, the world doesn’t revolve around them.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 7:27 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #45   Helen

    Sorry guys, but I’m with the 8-year-old on this one, mostly because I was exactly like that at eight.

    Lets put it this way- instead of crying in front of her parents, who would probably have given her something to cry about, she stomped to her room and wrote a note. Sure, she’ll get told later that it wasn’t appropriate, but at least she never made a scene.

    Fun fact: one time I wrote up every curse word I knew on the computer when I was angry. And saved it. My mom still laughs when she remembers.

    Apr 28, 2010 at 11:13 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #46   eyehearta2

    There’s football on in April? I thought only hockey, eh?

    Apr 28, 2010 at 1:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #47   James

    I think crying and having a tantrum is much more acceptable and understandable if done in the heat of the moment. It may have been accidental that this one letter is psychotic, but it certainly needs to be dealt with and discussed with her very strongly about the absolute inappropriateness of this letter, and for her parents to try and work out if she lacks empathy or has other sociopathic tendencies. It is very kind natured of many of the people in here to relate with her emotions and assume just because she is young, that she can’t be a psychopath. Psychopaths are indeed real and this little girl has done something indicating she could well be one. KEEP AN EYE ON HER!

    Apr 29, 2010 at 12:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #48   pit pat

    RE kids repeating what they hear, don’t chastise my 6-y-o neighbor kid when you hear him say “why are you always busting my balls?” He got that from daddy, word for word. And so much more. Sigh.

    Apr 29, 2010 at 9:57 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #49   Julie

    This is why I had all of those abortions, so I wouldn’t get passive aggressive notes.

    Apr 29, 2010 at 10:55 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #49.1   Elizabeth

      That’s right, it’s going to be the literate, articulate, cared-for child who expresses her feelings in words at an appropriate time (though admittedly with over-the-top language- oh, wait, did you say that that’s extremely common among eight-year-olds across cultures whether or not they get the shit beaten out of them on a regular basis? Really? Did they prove that scientifically? OH!) who turns into the freakazoid adult.

      Not the child locked in a closet with bruises all over.

      Good luck with that parenting thing, everyone!

      Apr 29, 2010 at 1:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #50   Zenrage

    When are you clowns going to learn that social organizations are only based on a willingness to co-exist and that “family” only means as much as the emotional and psychological bonds maintained by the people within it.

    Yet you idiots want to blame the kid because she reacted negatively to the way her father treated her based on a respect that the father FAILED to live up to, but the kid is supposed to show regardless?

    Apr 30, 2010 at 1:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #50.1   park rose bang

      Umm, I’m not sure, Zen. Maybe when you tell us the answer to “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” Or if that one’s too hard, how about “If a tree falls in a forest . . .?”
      Alternatively, if you bring on the dancing horses, we might concentrate on something more than honking our noses and our prat falls. Takes a lot of practice to be a pratt, but, you know,

      before enlightenment, a pratt is a pratt,
      during enlightenment, a pratt is no longer a pratt,
      after enlightenment, a pratt is a pratt again.

      Maybe there is some hope for us, or none at all. But, you know, form is emptiness, emptiness is form, so I’m sure it all comes down to the same thing. I hope this helps you (I would have put that in the past tense, but you know, it’s all about the moment).

      Apr 30, 2010 at 2:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #50.2   Canthz_B bang

      Master, once I have learned these things, may I threaten my father, but keep these over-sized red shoes?

      Apr 30, 2010 at 7:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #51   HeatherW

    Well, I’m gonna get back to the matter at hand (being the hilariously melodramatic PAN written by an 8 year old and not the socio-political banter that’s been taking up too much space) and say that, if dad “burns her feelings” again like he did this time, daughter might just wish him into the cornfield.

    May 1, 2010 at 2:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #52   BarbaraEBj

    I have never thought it positive for kids to FEAR adults. I call that abuse.

    May 2, 2010 at 1:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #53   Chris

    Sounds like a bright (but misinformed) young lady. She should have that energy and intellect redirected to some chores. We should not judge the parent.

    May 11, 2010 at 11:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #53.1   BarbaraEBj

      Not so young; years of experience talking here… YEARS.

      May 20, 2010 at 11:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #54   JamiSings bang

    If I had pulled that as a kid I would’ve been spanked and told that the world doesn’t revolve around me.

    May 23, 2010 at 8:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #55   Woman on the Verge bang

    This Urban Dictionary entry for football minute is apt: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Football%20Minute&defid=4999045

    May 31, 2010 at 10:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #56   Funniest notes of 2010 | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] You burned my feelings [...]

    Dec 31, 2010 at 12:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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