What does “fashion forward” mean to you?

April 29th, 2010 · 95 comments

When you work in the fashion business — like our submitter, a sales associate at a trendy boutique — being “fashion forward” often translates to just “forward.”

What does Fashion Forward mean to you? I challenge you to ask yourself......Is the outfit your wearing acceptable for hanging out or grocery shopping? If your answer to this is YES this means YOUR UNDERDRESSED! Please remember that this is our business, we are in the fashion business! We are not afraid to be forward in fashion. WE are fashion forward.

Or (like Lisa‘s coworker), straight-up bitchy.

Please — never wear that outfit in my presence or I will explode.

Sometimes (as Rhonda in Boston noticed) working in fashion is somewhat akin to being, say, a life coach.

Please do not have a fit in the fitting room. Your fashion life begins here.

Or, just as likely…a drug counselor.

Hello, We know you are doing coke in the bathroom. Please stop, Jesus loves you. Shamon

related: Yo, sweaty beasts!

FILED UNDER: "customer service" · attire · drugs · retail hell · your/you're


95 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Mace Elaine

    Posting the obvious: is Shamon’s last name Yu?

    Apr 29, 2010 at 6:19 pm   rating: 65  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Escape Goat

    Tyra’s ’bout to go nuclear on yo’ asses.

    Apr 29, 2010 at 6:24 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Escape Goat

    “Shamon”?

    Isn’t that Michael Jackson’s catch phrase?

    Apr 29, 2010 at 6:26 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Mace Elaine

      Gonna make that change! (of your clothes)

      Apr 29, 2010 at 6:30 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   farcical aquatic ceremony

      You know he’s bad, he’s bad, you know it!

      Apr 29, 2010 at 6:32 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      He’s looking at the man in the mirror…

      Apr 29, 2010 at 6:48 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   mamason bang

      And he’s a thriller…

      Apr 29, 2010 at 6:52 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   claw71 bang

      Was he looking at the man in the mirror, or was he trying to peek through the bathroom door behind him where a sultry young boy was getting undressed for his bath?

      Apr 29, 2010 at 6:58 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Yes

      Wow, a pedophile joke. You’re so edgy and clever.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 8:13 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Kore

      He was just “beatin’ it”.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 8:20 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   Canthz_B bang

      Wouldn’t it be justice if MJ reincarnates as a rat named Ben?

      Apr 29, 2010 at 10:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   MAMARILLA2 bang

      He said Billy Gene was not his lover…

      Apr 29, 2010 at 10:51 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   Canthz_B bang

      …She’s just an allele who says that he is the one?

      Apr 29, 2010 at 11:02 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.11   Woman on the Verge bang

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJW_yTbYGoI&feature=channel

      Be sure to watch through the end where Michael dances…

      Apr 30, 2010 at 12:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Bunnee

    So, I should stop doing coke in the bathroom just because you know about it?…. Oh, I see. I should stop because Jesus loves me. Well, that changes everything. So then, Jesus should be able to pay for my rehab, right?

    Apr 29, 2010 at 6:30 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   sleeps

      Would you rather I just cut up a line at my desk, then?

      Apr 29, 2010 at 6:35 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   claw71 bang

      Jesus would love you more if you offered him a little toot.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 6:53 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   oi bang

      I am offended!!11!!11!!

      Apr 29, 2010 at 7:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Canthz_B bang

      I too am offended!!!

      Everyone knows it takes more than a little toot to raise yourself from the dead.
      You’ve gotta be seriously fucked up for all your friends to think you were dead for a few days while you slept off your latest David Blaine stunt.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 10:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   the Librarian

      What if I know for a fact that Jesus does not love me? Can I keep doing coke in the bathroom?

      Apr 30, 2010 at 1:05 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   Canthz_B bang

      Only if He gets a restraining order against you.

      Then you know for sure He’s not interested.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 1:32 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   jaywalke

      True love doesn’t recognize restraining orders.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 8:03 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   Canthz_B bang

      Love means never having to say “Guilty, Your Honor.” ;-)

      Apr 30, 2010 at 8:32 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.9   jaywalke

      Or being tasered (outside the bedroom).

      Apr 30, 2010 at 8:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   shwonline bang

    “Oh, what a fabulously fashion forward outfit! It’s totally unacceptable for grocery shopping!”

    Apr 29, 2010 at 6:36 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   claw71 bang

      That’s OK because I’m underdressing you with my eyes.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 7:00 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Z

      no no, grocery shopping looking fab is fine. Maybe because I’m a stylist…I’m right with the first note. Trendy fashion calls for trendy sales associates. I hate when I see hairstylists with dead nasty undone hair. Or lazy looking women working fashion. That’s fine to look like that, but not when you are trying to sell pretty!

      May 3, 2010 at 12:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   farcical aquatic ceremony

    eeewww, i’d take Lisa’s coworker seriously, looks like she’s already STARTED exploding on that post-it…

    Apr 29, 2010 at 6:36 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   mamason bang

      I don’t know. It looks more like an implosion about to happen. Like her head has already started swallowing her face and it’s making it difficult to write.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 7:01 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   AuntyBron

      It took me a full minute to decypher “explide” Sheesh! My 6 year old niece has better penmanship than that!

      And, by the way. Why shouldn’t I have a fit in a fitting room” Isn’t that the point?

      Apr 30, 2010 at 12:00 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Bunnee

    But not, apparently, grammar-forward.

    Apr 29, 2010 at 6:36 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   shwonline bang

      And how does someone make so many font changes in a handwritten note?

      Apr 29, 2010 at 6:39 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      Schizophrenia is NOT fashion forward.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 6:49 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   mamason bang

      What do you mean? Look at my shiny, aluminum foil hat! It screams, fashion forward. :-|

      No, seriously. My hat is screaming at me.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 6:56 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   claw71 bang

      Apostrophes are so 2000 and late.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 6:56 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Escape Goat

      “Schizophrenia is NOT fashion forward.”

      –That’s what they said.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 7:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   park rose bang

      Note, note one: Your ‘Your’ is underdressed.
      Going without ‘re must be the Britney-Spears-getting-out-of-a-taxi of the punctuation world.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 10:10 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   AuntyBron

      The foil is not screaming at you, Mama – that’s the echo of the voices in your head.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 12:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   president_benson

    Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.

    Apr 29, 2010 at 6:49 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   sleeps

      Chut up!

      Apr 29, 2010 at 7:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Woman on the Verge bang

    By the way, how did they find my underdressed? I’ve been looking everywhere for it.

    Apr 29, 2010 at 6:50 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   claw71 bang

    Your butt’s in twine,
    and it’s way too tight
    How can you show your face,
    you’re not dressed right
    I’m telling you,
    I mean, what’s the deal?
    Clothes of that kind, are over the hill

    Shamon, Shamon
    Snort cocaine, all night
    EEE!

    I’m giving you
    to the count of three
    never wear that stuff
    around me
    I’m telling you
    the style’s played out
    don’t keep those clothes
    just throw them out

    Well they say we’re fashion forward
    What does that mean to you
    You dress bad and snort cocaine
    so I’ll tell Jesus on you!

    Because it’s PAN
    It’s PAN

    Shamon

    It’s PAN, so PAN

    You know it

    It’s PAN, OH PAN, Shamon, you know

    And the whole world has to comment right now just to tell you all again, it’s PAN!

    Apr 29, 2010 at 6:52 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Woman on the Verge bang

    Please do not have a fit in the fitting room. Take your epilepsy meds BEFORE trying on clothes.

    Apr 29, 2010 at 6:52 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Bunnee

      I mean really, who needs your spittle and drool all over the clothes? And those jerking motions are stretching all the seams! Next time, bring your own damn anti-tongue-biting spoon, too!

      Apr 29, 2010 at 8:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   park rose bang

      Well, for a second I thought that was the drug counsellor note. “Please do not have a fix in the fitting room.” Then Jesus set me straight, and I saw the error of my ways, or vice versa, or at the same time. How do epiphanies work? Anyone got any first hand experience they’d like to share?

      Apr 29, 2010 at 10:26 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   infant tyrone bang

      Epiphanies ? See an ophthalmologist, get yer visions checked.

      But seriously, for the straight dope on Jesus, you have to ditch the trendy chi-chi churches and come home to main-line Christianity…
      but don’t fall for any of that “faith alone” crap…you need good works.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 12:07 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   HeatherW

      Thankfully, I don’t NEED good works. I live on that crap called “faith”. That’s the great thing about it – it requires only belief .

      May 1, 2010 at 1:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Team Me

    Buddy Jesus is watching do coke and saw you steal that Diet Coke.

    Apr 29, 2010 at 6:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   ISpy

    Fashion-forward is dressing like a working girl with a shirt cut down to there, and insisting on “petals” to camouflage nipple erections. Duh.

    Apr 29, 2010 at 7:02 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Diana

    Frankly, since I think explosions are kinda cool, I’d wear the HELL out of whatever it was that angered the writer of the yellow post-it…..

    Apr 29, 2010 at 7:05 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   claw71 bang

      Are you dirty, Diana?

      Apr 29, 2010 at 7:22 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Mel K

      Aren’t explosions just another way to say it was a happy ending?

      Apr 29, 2010 at 9:15 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   TheOldSchool bang

      Mel K,

      Exactly! These days, our obsession with happiness has blurred the boundaries between what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t.

      So many of us permit ourselves to indulge in thinking lewd thoughts, viewing suggestive pictures, and huffing women’s dirty panties, that we often forget that with a bit of will-power and self-control we can trick our brain into directing itself towards more wholesome pursuits.

      Mel, both you and I have been blessed with minds that are deep and clear, much like mountain lakes, teeming with healthy thought-fish. And they’re biting!

      Unfortunately, the minds of most folks are clones of the stagnant, fetid, shallow cesspools of dank semen that not only scar the floors and walls of our community, but could easily be seeping out an orifice and oozing its way slowly down the inner thigh of your lunch companion this very moment.

      Minds made of love mayonnaise aren’t merely self-pleasuring — they’re self-perpetuating, too.

      People are just animals who have hastily slapped together with five basic materials: liquids, fats, solids, gases, and pecker-snot.

      Add a few perversions and a couple of credit cards, and … presto! … we’re basically done.

      “Can I call you a cab? Or are you OK walking home? I’d drive you, but I’m really kinda tired. By the way, I like your panties. They’re so fashion forward. Can I keep them as a reminder of our love?” God, how many times have I heard myself saying those words?

      Mel, thank you for clarifying the explosion/happy ending conundrum for those who may have been caught unawares.

      p.s., Don’t think for a second that I don’t know what they mean when they speak wistfully of “the big bang theory.”

      Apr 30, 2010 at 1:57 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   ashmeadow

      Pecker-snot.

      Hmm… I shall have to write that in my pocket dictionary.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 7:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   RunForTheRoses

    Jesus should keep his nose out of my business AND my cocaine, damnit!

    Apr 29, 2010 at 7:11 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   claw71 bang

    Man, that one note really takes me back. Jesus and I used to really tear up the club scene. It was back in the 90s. Meth was all the rage and the kids were just starting to do X, but JC and I rocked out old school with the white horse. I have to tell you, that brother was a fucking Hoover when it came to snorting coke. For you young kids out there, a Hoover is kind of like a Dyson that didn’t cost six bills.

    Apr 29, 2010 at 7:12 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   RunForTheRoses

      Yeah, Claw, you and Jesus still owe me money from your last blow binge, dude.
      Tell the man upstairs to kick down some money if you can’t pay me back yourselves. Or hell hath no fury like a dealer scorned.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 7:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Woman on the Verge bang

    Dear Shamon,

    Last time I was snorting coke in the bathroom, Jesus told me he wanted me to. Oh, and he told me he’s planning to smite you.

    Love,

    Jesus’ BFF

    Apr 29, 2010 at 7:15 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   gavin

      Jesus’ Best Fuck Friend?

      or have you omitted an L, Best Friends For Life?

      Apr 30, 2010 at 8:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      Did I fail to mention that the H in Jesus H Christ stands for heroin?

      Apr 30, 2010 at 8:51 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Gladystopia

      WotV, you’ve just accomplished what a guilt-bearing Catholic mother, several former friends, and my current evangelical-at-the-drop-of-a-hat cube-sharer have not:

      You just gave me a good reason to get religion.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 1:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   BeelzeBunnee

    My underdressed what?

    …and quit spreading rumors about me and Jesus.
    We are just good friends. (he prefers to be called Chuy)

    Apr 29, 2010 at 8:11 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   shwonline bang

    “Jack, this is Chloe. We just picked up a transmission. The terrorists say they’ll detonate the weapon if Lisa wears that outfit again.”

    “Dammit!”

    plonk plink plonk plink….

    Apr 29, 2010 at 8:12 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Denny DelVecchio

    Coke-stifling note-rventions generally work far better with a 18 point Algerian font and either the winking or the tongue-wagging emoticon.

    Been there, homeboy.

    Apr 29, 2010 at 8:57 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   aaa bang

    So, is there a specific reason why the boutique doesn’t have a dress code outlining what is and is not acceptable attire at work? Or would that just be too logical a thing to do?

    Apr 29, 2010 at 9:05 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Gladystopia

      Probably because it’s not the boutique’s dress code, but the note-writer’s–that would be MY guess, anyway.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 1:19 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   aaa bang

      All the more reason for the boutique to have an official dress code. Although I don’t know if “grocery shopping chic” could ever enter into management parlance.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 4:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   mamason bang

    What does fashion forward mean to me? :-?

    Hm… To me, fashion forward means tube tops, hot pants and tube socks with 4 inch platform tennis shoes! :-P

    Fashion forward is kind of retro I guess. How ironic. :-|

    Apr 29, 2010 at 9:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Yumi

    I wear heels, shiny leggings, and a leather jacket to go grocery shopping…I guess that’s not good enough for this store D=

    Apr 29, 2010 at 9:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   jaywalke

      Ass-less chaps required.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 8:04 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Canthz_B bang

    If the fitting room is not a fit place to throw a fit, then just what place fits as a fitting place to be fitful?

    Apr 29, 2010 at 10:25 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   park rose bang

      If the fit fit fits fitz . . .

      Apr 29, 2010 at 10:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Canthz_B bang

      Which begs the question: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had a fit in a fitting room?

      A woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck if having a fit in the fitting room were fitting for wood-chucking.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 10:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   Masha

      Actually, you’re only supposed to throw your fits in the shitting room.

      Don’t worry, I get them mixed up all the time too.

      May 1, 2010 at 9:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   TacoSpice bang

    There’s a special place in hell for people who don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re.”

    Apr 29, 2010 at 10:31 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Canthz_B bang

      They call it “You’respace”.

      Apr 29, 2010 at 10:34 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Blogmella bang

      No, they call it “The internet”.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 1:20 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   Canthz_B bang

      Hell can’t be called “The internet”…I’m here, and have yet to have my ride in a hand-basket! ;-)

      Apr 30, 2010 at 1:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Canthz_B bang

    Jesus would love you even more if you shared a few lines with him. He promises not to let Jose and Miguel in on his sweet hook-up!

    Apr 29, 2010 at 10:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   infant tyrone bang

    Was Jesus connected ?
    Only so connected that the dude rode into town on a mule, OK ?

    Apr 30, 2010 at 12:17 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Sam S

      Gas, grass, or ass – no one rides for free.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 8:03 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   park rose bang

      I’ll cross His palm with silver on Sunday.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 2:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Sam S

    I never understood people snorting coke in the restroom. I make it a point NOT to breath through my nose when I’m in the loo.

    Whoa… I’m totally peaked and got “smell of ass” as a nice chaser. A sidecar, if you will.

    Apr 30, 2010 at 8:02 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   gavin

    As the least inventive of all the posters, I thought I’d post a good old favourite…

    Lisa’s explosion was fucking delicious ;)

    …that is all

    Apr 30, 2010 at 8:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Woman on the Verge bang

    Look, just because Jesus, the Mexican janitor, loves me, does NOT mean I am going to stop drinking my Coke in the bathroom.

    Apr 30, 2010 at 1:42 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Blogmella bang

    I can’t help feeling (from that note) that Jesus is egging me on.

    Apr 30, 2010 at 5:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Odious

    I can ponder my wearing and my underdressed, but WTF does doing coke in the bathroom have to do with Jesus? That second line just comes out of nowhere.
    Shamon!…uh huh…uh uhh… OOO!…shamon….heh..heh…oooo! [grabs crotch]

    Apr 30, 2010 at 11:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   D

    *hits head against wall*

    Why do otherwise well-educated people keep writing “YOUR” when they mean “YOU’RE?” It drives me mad!

    Also, the next time someone writes “loose” when they mean “lose” I think I might jump off a bridge.

    May 1, 2010 at 9:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   mamason bang

      Ima ’bout to loose my mind. :-|

      Still waiting…

      May 1, 2010 at 6:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   HeatherW

    And I love the fact that the note ends with the ever so redundant “..we are not afraid to be forward in fashion. We are fashion forward.” Isn’t that pretty much the same as saying “..we are not afraid to light fires. We are fire lighters.” Really, you could use it for anything. ” ….we like to eat meat. We are meat eaters.”
    “…we are not afraid to write emails. We are email writers.”
    “…we enjoy eating soup. We are soup eaters.”

    May 1, 2010 at 1:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   mamason bang

      “…we enjoy fucking mothers. We are mother fuckers.”

      May 1, 2010 at 6:06 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   clumber

    The 1st note has me totally flummoxed. Clearly I must not be of the proper hipster level as the entire thing reads like random words barfed on a page.

    What’s the middleish sentence end with?? “If your answer to this is YES _?_ _?_ ” ???

    May 3, 2010 at 10:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   tacospice

      “If your answer to this is yes, this means your underdressed….”

      May 3, 2010 at 9:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #36   katie

    Woah, I would look into the person who wrote that second note, the one on the post-it. Looking at that handwriting, I have a feeling there may be something wrong with them. That is not the handwriting of the well.

    Lisa, what do you think?

    May 4, 2010 at 12:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   You're fatter than you think you are, okay? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] What does “fashion forward” mean to you? [...]

    Jun 28, 2010 at 8:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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