When you work in the fashion business — like our submitter, a sales associate at a trendy boutique — being “fashion forward” often translates to just “forward.”
Or (like Lisa‘s coworker), straight-up bitchy.
Sometimes (as Rhonda in Boston noticed) working in fashion is somewhat akin to being, say, a life coach.
Or, just as likely…a drug counselor.
related: Yo, sweaty beasts!
95 responses so far ↓
#1
Mace Elaine
Posting the obvious: is Shamon’s last name Yu?
Apr 29, 2010 at 6:19 pm rating: 63
#2
Escape Goat
Tyra’s ’bout to go nuclear on yo’ asses.
Apr 29, 2010 at 6:24 pm rating: 9
#3
Escape Goat
“Shamon”?
Isn’t that Michael Jackson’s catch phrase?
Apr 29, 2010 at 6:26 pm rating: 32
#4
Bunnee
So, I should stop doing coke in the bathroom just because you know about it?…. Oh, I see. I should stop because Jesus loves me. Well, that changes everything. So then, Jesus should be able to pay for my rehab, right?
Apr 29, 2010 at 6:30 pm rating: 15
#5
shwonline
“Oh, what a fabulously fashion forward outfit! It’s totally unacceptable for grocery shopping!”
Apr 29, 2010 at 6:36 pm rating: 31
#6
farcical aquatic ceremony
eeewww, i’d take Lisa’s coworker seriously, looks like she’s already STARTED exploding on that post-it…
Apr 29, 2010 at 6:36 pm rating: 22
#7
Bunnee
But not, apparently, grammar-forward.
Apr 29, 2010 at 6:36 pm rating: 38
#8
president_benson
Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Apr 29, 2010 at 6:49 pm rating: 20
#9
Woman on the Verge
By the way, how did they find my underdressed? I’ve been looking everywhere for it.
Apr 29, 2010 at 6:50 pm rating: 13
#10
claw71
Your butt’s in twine,
and it’s way too tight
How can you show your face,
you’re not dressed right
I’m telling you,
I mean, what’s the deal?
Clothes of that kind, are over the hill
Shamon, Shamon
Snort cocaine, all night
EEE!
I’m giving you
to the count of three
never wear that stuff
around me
I’m telling you
the style’s played out
don’t keep those clothes
just throw them out
Well they say we’re fashion forward
What does that mean to you
You dress bad and snort cocaine
so I’ll tell Jesus on you!
Because it’s PAN
It’s PAN
Shamon
It’s PAN, so PAN
You know it
It’s PAN, OH PAN, Shamon, you know
And the whole world has to comment right now just to tell you all again, it’s PAN!
Apr 29, 2010 at 6:52 pm rating: 31
#11
Woman on the Verge
Please do not have a fit in the fitting room. Take your epilepsy meds BEFORE trying on clothes.
Apr 29, 2010 at 6:52 pm rating: 19
#12
Team Me
Buddy Jesus is watching do coke and saw you steal that Diet Coke.
Apr 29, 2010 at 6:53 pm rating: 4
#13
ISpy
Fashion-forward is dressing like a working girl with a shirt cut down to there, and insisting on “petals” to camouflage nipple erections. Duh.
Apr 29, 2010 at 7:02 pm rating: 7
#14
Diana
Frankly, since I think explosions are kinda cool, I’d wear the HELL out of whatever it was that angered the writer of the yellow post-it…..
Apr 29, 2010 at 7:05 pm rating: 25
#15
RunForTheRoses
Jesus should keep his nose out of my business AND my cocaine, damnit!
Apr 29, 2010 at 7:11 pm rating: 10
#16
claw71
Man, that one note really takes me back. Jesus and I used to really tear up the club scene. It was back in the 90s. Meth was all the rage and the kids were just starting to do X, but JC and I rocked out old school with the white horse. I have to tell you, that brother was a fucking Hoover when it came to snorting coke. For you young kids out there, a Hoover is kind of like a Dyson that didn’t cost six bills.
Apr 29, 2010 at 7:12 pm rating: 22
#17
Woman on the Verge
Dear Shamon,
Last time I was snorting coke in the bathroom, Jesus told me he wanted me to. Oh, and he told me he’s planning to smite you.
Love,
Jesus’ BFF
Apr 29, 2010 at 7:15 pm rating: 6
#18
BeelzeBunnee
My underdressed what?
…and quit spreading rumors about me and Jesus.
We are just good friends. (he prefers to be called Chuy)
Apr 29, 2010 at 8:11 pm rating: 7
#19
shwonline
“Jack, this is Chloe. We just picked up a transmission. The terrorists say they’ll detonate the weapon if Lisa wears that outfit again.”
“Dammit!”
plonk plink plonk plink….
Apr 29, 2010 at 8:12 pm rating: 18
#20
Denny DelVecchio
Coke-stifling note-rventions generally work far better with a 18 point Algerian font and either the winking or the tongue-wagging emoticon.
Been there, homeboy.
Apr 29, 2010 at 8:57 pm rating: 5
#21
aaa
So, is there a specific reason why the boutique doesn’t have a dress code outlining what is and is not acceptable attire at work? Or would that just be too logical a thing to do?
Apr 29, 2010 at 9:05 pm rating: 6
#22
mamason
What does fashion forward mean to me?
Hm… To me, fashion forward means tube tops, hot pants and tube socks with 4 inch platform tennis shoes!
Fashion forward is kind of retro I guess. How ironic.
Apr 29, 2010 at 9:14 pm rating: 4
#23
Yumi
I wear heels, shiny leggings, and a leather jacket to go grocery shopping…I guess that’s not good enough for this store D=
Apr 29, 2010 at 9:26 pm rating: 3
#24
Canthz_B
If the fitting room is not a fit place to throw a fit, then just what place fits as a fitting place to be fitful?
Apr 29, 2010 at 10:25 pm rating: 6
#25
TacoSpice
There’s a special place in hell for people who don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re.”
Apr 29, 2010 at 10:31 pm rating: 14
#26
Canthz_B
Jesus would love you even more if you shared a few lines with him. He promises not to let Jose and Miguel in on his sweet hook-up!
Apr 29, 2010 at 10:44 pm rating: 2
#27
infant tyrone
Was Jesus connected ?
Only so connected that the dude rode into town on a mule, OK ?
Apr 30, 2010 at 12:17 am rating: 2
#28
Sam S
I never understood people snorting coke in the restroom. I make it a point NOT to breath through my nose when I’m in the loo.
Whoa… I’m totally peaked and got “smell of ass” as a nice chaser. A sidecar, if you will.
Apr 30, 2010 at 8:02 am rating: 9
#29
gavin
As the least inventive of all the posters, I thought I’d post a good old favourite…
Lisa’s explosion was fucking delicious
…that is all
Apr 30, 2010 at 8:53 am rating: 3
#30
Woman on the Verge
Look, just because Jesus, the Mexican janitor, loves me, does NOT mean I am going to stop drinking my Coke in the bathroom.
Apr 30, 2010 at 1:42 pm rating: 9
#31
Blogmella
I can’t help feeling (from that note) that Jesus is egging me on.
Apr 30, 2010 at 5:02 pm rating: 1
#32
Odious
I can ponder my wearing and my underdressed, but WTF does doing coke in the bathroom have to do with Jesus? That second line just comes out of nowhere.
Shamon!…uh huh…uh uhh… OOO!…shamon….heh..heh…oooo! [grabs crotch]
Apr 30, 2010 at 11:14 pm rating: 1
#33
D
*hits head against wall*
Why do otherwise well-educated people keep writing “YOUR” when they mean “YOU’RE?” It drives me mad!
Also, the next time someone writes “loose” when they mean “lose” I think I might jump off a bridge.
May 1, 2010 at 9:25 am rating: 1
#34
HeatherW
And I love the fact that the note ends with the ever so redundant “..we are not afraid to be forward in fashion. We are fashion forward.” Isn’t that pretty much the same as saying “..we are not afraid to light fires. We are fire lighters.” Really, you could use it for anything. ” ….we like to eat meat. We are meat eaters.”
“…we are not afraid to write emails. We are email writers.”
“…we enjoy eating soup. We are soup eaters.”
May 1, 2010 at 1:51 pm rating: 2
#35
clumber
The 1st note has me totally flummoxed. Clearly I must not be of the proper hipster level as the entire thing reads like random words barfed on a page.
What’s the middleish sentence end with?? “If your answer to this is YES _?_ _?_ ” ???
May 3, 2010 at 10:50 am rating: 0
#36
katie
Woah, I would look into the person who wrote that second note, the one on the post-it. Looking at that handwriting, I have a feeling there may be something wrong with them. That is not the handwriting of the well.
Lisa, what do you think?
May 4, 2010 at 12:30 am rating: 0
#37 You're fatter than you think you are, okay? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] What does “fashion forward” mean to you? [...]
Jun 28, 2010 at 8:33 pm rating: 0
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