Sounds like somebody needs a vacation.

April 30th, 2010 · 78 comments

Luckily, Liz in Houston convinced her work buddy not to forward this not-at-all-passive Jerry Springer-esque rant to the entire company e-mail list, as originally intended. (Otherwise, work buddy’s much-needed vacation might have turned out to be a permanent one.)

If I catch another one of you getting on our already crammed slow a$ elevators to go down one friggin floor I might lose it. It took me 11 minutes to get to the lobby. Want to know why? Shut up, I'm telling you why. Cause you lazy mother f'ers use it to get from the 21st to the 20th floors.I see you, you aren't even wearing uncomfortable designer shoes, so you have no excuse except that pile of lard you call your a$. I'm watching you...

related: Do your stairs think you’re fat?

extra credit: How not to land an internship []

FILED UNDER: all-staff e-mail · elevator · hey fatty · Houston · more aggressive than passive · not so much passive-aggressive · office · pointlessly self-censored profanity

78 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Joe Blow

    I’m with crazy. If you use an elevator to go up 1 or down 2 or less, you should be taken to the roof and given the express to the lobby.

    Apr 30, 2010 at 8:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Gladystopia

      Hey, if the Powers that Be are gonna make me drag my bad ankle downstairs to put paper in the printer when there’s ALREADY a comp svc person SITTING IN THE LAB, I’m gonna take the crap-o-vator.

      Team Screw You, Cranky-Pants, That’s Why They’re THERE.

      May 1, 2010 at 11:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Amilianna

      I think that making assumptions based on a brief glimpse of someone in an elevator is pretty presumptuous.

      Maybe that person has a medical condition like asthma where doing strenuous cardiovascular activity (such as going up and down stairs) can cause a potentially life-threatening attack. Maybe they have a bad knee/ankle/hip/etc. and the extra strain is painful for them. Maybe they’re a “fat ass” because they have diabetes, or a thyroid condition, and they are doing their best to get their weight and health under control.

      In most cases it’s probably none of these things, but realistically it isn’t your job to be the elevator police. If the elevator is slow, why don’t YOU – picture of health – take the stairs? Or, just enjoy the damned ride down even if it does take a bit longer. And if you’re pissed because those 11 minutes made you late, then really you should take some adult responsibility and get to work a bit earlier. That’s like the people who bitch that they’re late because of traffic every damned day. You know there’s going to be a delay, leave earlier! Take some control of your life and stop making everyone around you miserable!

      In the meantime, I’ll be taking my fat ass on the elevator because I don’t want to huff and puff and sweat up or down the damned stairs.

      May 2, 2010 at 7:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   farcical aquatic ceremony

    A: “Just been draggin’ along the pile of lard I call my a$$”

    Q: title of Ke$ha’s 2040 attempted-comeback album

    Apr 30, 2010 at 8:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Astounder

    Another great opportunity missed.

    Apr 30, 2010 at 8:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Escape Goat

    $ally Complain$-a lot.

    Apr 30, 2010 at 8:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   ClearlyDemented

    It seems totally work-appropriate to me. But I guess I can see why Liz didn’t want him to send it out to the entire office, his boss probably would’ve been pi$$ed to learn he wasted 11 minutes of his day in the elevator.

    Apr 30, 2010 at 8:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   aaa bang

    Jeez, Liz, way to be a Franny Funsucker. Why do you have to be all logical and shit and encourage people to not fuck up their career?

    Apr 30, 2010 at 8:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Having Fitz

    I tried that excuse on my boss, that I was late coming back from lunch because I was on the elevator. I suppose that might have worked if our building wasn’t one floor and we actually had an elevator.

    Apr 30, 2010 at 9:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   farcical aquatic ceremony

    Jeepers creepers! Mr. doesn’t-have-the-balls-to-curse-over-company-e-mail’s gonna WATCH me!

    Apr 30, 2010 at 9:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Kou

    Funny, I always wonder if people judge me when I take the elevator for only one floor. Now I know that they do! Goodie.

    For the record, I take the elevator for only one floor because I have breathing problems that flare up if I have to run/walk long distances. When I get to my building I’ve already been walking for 15-20 minutes to get there and going up stairs would have me wheezing and panting quite uncomfortably.

    Also? If the stairs and elevator are really far apart, I will never walk all the way across a floor to get to the stairs if I’m already next to the elevator. Who does that?

    Apr 30, 2010 at 9:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   park rose bang

      Al Gore?

      Apr 30, 2010 at 10:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   Scott Beamer

      How about walking DOWN stairs. Gravity does most of the work.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 11:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.3   Donkey Burger

      Actually, I have a physical disability that affects my stair-climbing both ways–down more than up. That’s cus you use different muscles.

      May 1, 2010 at 1:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.4   mamason bang

      Actually, gravity only does most of the work if you happen to be falling down the stairs.

      May 1, 2010 at 3:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.5   sleeps

      Breathing problems, eh? How many non-smoking adults of a healthy weight do you know with ‘breathing problems’ ? I predict you are either a fatty or a smoker. Or both.

      May 1, 2010 at 6:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.6   JungleJim

      @ #9.5
      I hope you never have to find out for yourself just how short-sighted you are.

      May 1, 2010 at 8:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.7   Kou

      Upon review this sounds whiney and lame. For the record, I also live on the second floor of my apartment building and since I don’t have to walk far to get there I always take the stairs. It really depends.

      I just hate the idea that when I go up one floor in the other building everyone’s gonna assume I’m a lazy ass. I also hate playing the “but I have a meeedical condiiitionnn” card because it doesn’t really sound any better. I guess I’m just screwed where multi-story buildings are involved.

      May 2, 2010 at 2:11 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.8   Sardoodledum bang

      I’m on team Kou here, and team Sleeps is an Ass.

      I’ll have you know that I’m both a smoker AND a fattie, and I have no breathing problems! =DDD

      Also, who the fucks cares how you use the elevator? It is there for people to use and there is nothing wrong with people wanting to take it for one floor. Aside from the fact that you have no idea what kinds of disabilities people have, if an able bodied person wants to take the elevator because they’re a lazy ass, so what?

      Don’t tell me you’ve never taken the path of least resistance just because it’s easier.

      *This is from someone who is fairly claustrophobic and has walked up 20 flights of stairs to avoid a crowded elevator before. And someone who has found an empty elevator to take one floor, because, damn it, I don’t feel like taking the stairs.*

      May 2, 2010 at 7:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.9   Kore

      Sleeps, I have severe asthma that flares up during exercise. I have NEVER smoked and I’m an American size 6. Asthma is becoming a real health concern in the US. It’s quite common.

      Also, these folks are lucky that their stairwell is unlocked on every floor. The high-rise I worked in has stairwells for emergencies only – once you enter and the door closes behind you, you have to go all the way to the bottom floor to get out.

      May 2, 2010 at 10:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.10   clumber

      I take the elevator up and down 1 floor at work because my back injury made using stairs unbearably painful. However, got that solved past summer… and i still use the elevator because 1. I still fear that pain and 2. I am lazy.

      Back when I worked at Boeing i tried taking the stairs and ended up in a higher level of security than my badge was and was locked there for a bit. That sucked.

      May 3, 2010 at 10:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.11   The Elf

      Who does that? Well me, when I’m in the mood to take the stairs. Most of the time I take the stairs, even when my cube was on the 8th floor. (But I could only go down in that building because of the stupid always-locking doors). It’s good exercise and I don’t like crowds. But I’ve also been known to take the elevator for one measly floor when I’ve got coffee, my backpack is heavy, I’m talking with someone who has chosen the elevator, or I just don’t feel like taking the goddamn stairs that day. So sorry that offends your sensibilities, Liz’s coworker.

      BTW, I love that she talked him out of sending the note. Wouldn’t you have loved to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation? Exactly what was the deciding point? The cursing that isn’t? The shoe envy? The grammar? The unbridled rage? Liz, I must know!

      May 3, 2010 at 11:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Phizzle

    Team crazy! Reminds me of people who get on the public transit bus, get off at the next stop, then walk back one block back instead of just walking two blocks forward. Kou, maybe you’re a special case, but I can’t imagine that a whole building is full of people with your medical problems. That’s just fucking delicious hyperbole.

    Apr 30, 2010 at 10:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      gigglebrax violation. Fine: Take the bus three stops and walk back two and a half.

      May 1, 2010 at 9:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Kou

      Yeah, that’s the catch. You can’t know why someone’s on the elevator just from looking at them.

      Maybe I can trick someone into sending this email out to my department so I can reply all and say HOW DARE YOU SIR, I HAVE A CONDITION and then everyone will feel bad for me. There’s no way that plan could backfire, I’m sure!

      May 2, 2010 at 1:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   park rose

    I wouldn’t mess with Vermicious Knids. There’s often a very good reason for perpetually riding the elevator.

    Apr 30, 2010 at 10:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   RunForTheRoses

      They fry upon contact with Earth’s atmosphere, though. I wouldn’t worry… Just look up and watch the Shooting Knids.

      May 1, 2010 at 1:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Lauri

    I was once in a building that had a freaky policy of locking doors to the stairs. I got off the elevator a floor too early and decided to walk the one more floor and found myself locked into the stairwell! Fortunately, I kept trying doors on the way down and found one unlocked before I had to go all the way down to the bottom. What a firetrap!

    Apr 30, 2010 at 11:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Katie

      I’ve encountered this too! It’s scary stuff!

      May 1, 2010 at 12:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   FeRD

      Yeah, that’s becoming more and more common, that there’s no access to building floors from the stairwells — only exit floors. Supposedly, stairwells are great, lawless frontiers where positively anyone could be doing absolutely anything — even Osama bin Laden himself could be free to come and go as he pleases, ascending and descending with impunity!

      *GASP*! If you take the stairs, the Terrorists win!

      …However, when a building’s stairwells are set up like that, I believe they’re supposed to post signs on the stairwell entrance doors, saying that there’s no floor re-entry and/or no access to floors except $N from the stairwell. In fact, I’m pretty sure OSHA or somebody gets all cross with them when those signs aren’t there. So, if you’re ever annoyed with the building management, there’s your potential revenge vector. ;)

      May 1, 2010 at 1:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   infant tyrone bang

      Go with OSHA for sweet, calorie-free and cost-free revenge.
      Those guys have reg books thicker than most states’ Motor Vehicle Codes.
      If they visit and they can’t cite for the elevators, they’ll find something.
      They don’t go back to the office empty-handed after an enforcement call.

      May 1, 2010 at 6:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.4   Kimberly

      I worked at a hotel that the stairwell was like that. The ony access points that weren’t locked were in places like the banquet kitchen and the hotel laundry. Guests were almost not allowed to use the stairs unless it was an emergency. It was a really piss-pour setup and pissed off the folks who are afraid of elevators.

      May 3, 2010 at 10:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   AuntyBron

    Sounds like Liz’s work buddy is a 20-something work-out twit who can crack walnuts in his/her butt cheeks. Let me spell it out for you, Honey-bunch Some of us have health problems. I, for example have arthritis in both knees and , having noticed that doing even one flight of stairs causes new adventures in pain, I don’t do stairs, Sweetie, if they can possibly be avoided. Here’s a thought for you: if you’re so (bad word, bad word, REALLY bad word) buff why don’t you trot your little ass down those 21 flights of stairs.

    Apr 30, 2010 at 11:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   TippingCows

      You people are so delicate.

      Apr 30, 2010 at 11:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   HappyNat

      Settled down AuntieBron. The note wasn’t directed at old fatties like yourself, when you get on the elevator it’s pretty clear why you aren’t taking the stairs.

      May 3, 2010 at 11:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Blogmella bang

    I normally use the stairs, for just a single floor – unless I have a really potent fart brewing.

    May 1, 2010 at 12:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   mamason bang

      One of my greatest joys in life is to get on a crowded elevator and let that potent fart go. 8-O

      It’s amazing, the non-reaction adults have. :-|

      Children always laugh and have yet to leave me hanging on the high five. :lol:

      May 1, 2010 at 3:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   AuntyBron

      YOu brew your farts?

      May 1, 2010 at 10:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.3   Luna (the other one)

      OMG! I can’t even tell you how horrible AND AWESOME that is!

      May 2, 2010 at 9:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.4   mamason bang

      It’s horribly awesome! :mrgreen:

      May 2, 2010 at 12:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   campus stair-walker

    As some of the other posters pointed out, it’s highly doubtful that everyone in an office suffer from health problems that make the stairs impossible. Even more unlikely are the chances of every 25 and under student on a college campus suffering from joint/respiratory/connective tissue/whatever problems. I work/study in a 3 floor building populated by sprightly, able-bodied young bodies…bodies that will wait for the slow as shit elevator to make its rounds for twice the amount of time it would have taken simply to walk up 15 steps. It’s just so stupid. The only non-health related exception I can admit valid is if someone is carrying a ridiculous amount of stuff and/or a capless drink. Or I suppose if they’re wearing really uncomfortable shoes. Or walking with someone who is suffering from any of the above situational afflictions. But if I just saw you outside playing hackey sack and you’re holding nothing but a raggedy notebook and a pen, well… it’s just embarrassing.

    May 1, 2010 at 12:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Blogmella bang

      The able bodied young students who wait for the lift now, are the “health issues” office lift-riders of the future.

      May 1, 2010 at 5:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Aardvaark bang

    When I worked in Houston, the stairwell doors were locked to prevent re-entry and I think there were some sort of gnomes living in them because when there was a fire drill, the door would open and a blue-blazered security guard would pop out to take a head-count of all of us who were supposed to be lined-up at the door.

    May 1, 2010 at 6:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   Foxy J bang

    While it’s true that most of the tall buildings in Houston are new enough to have been built with automatically-locking fire doors to the stairwells, would not the note-writer know this if it were the case?

    Many businesses in Houston employ a lot of non-Texans as well as Texans. I am guessing by the way that this note is written that the writer is not from Texas. However, I can assure you that everyone who takes the elevator one floor and does NOT have a medical reason for doing so (and is not carrying two armfuls of stuff, and the stairwell is unlocked) is from Texas. Aside from the obvious, that many Texans are very overweight, the other characteristic that they share is an overwhelming sense of entitlement which in this case manifests itself in a belief that if God saw fit to place an elevator where you can use it, it is yours and yours alone to use no matter the inconvenience to anyone else.

    Side note – I live south of Houston, and work in an office building that was built in the 1940s, when I guess people were more normal-sized. The hallways in some of the sections, including mine, are narrower than anything you would see built today and there are several people on my floor who literally take up the entire hallway when they walk down it, you can’t get around them no matter how small you are. So, when I do my monthly safety observations (I work for an industry where we have to do stuff like that), should I list them? In an emergency where we had to evacuate, they would be a liability. Maybe I should write a passive-aggressive note about them.

    May 1, 2010 at 8:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   park rose bang

      But everything’s bigger in Texas, isn’t it foxy?

      For some reason your post reminds me of the 7½ floor in Being John Malkovich.

      There need to be some metaphors spun about oil wells and elevators. It’s beyond my presently rather foggy powers of imagination. You could say, that just like Liz’s work buddy, I’m floored and flawed (those puns are for you aaa. Haiku revenge) and I can’t be arsed. Arseless chaps like me can wear you down. Anyway . . .

      May 1, 2010 at 6:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   oi bang

    this post looks like a thesis on possible reasons for taking elevator instead of stairs. I got one too! The door closer! I don’t like hanging on the door in my office attire(dress suit and 3-4 inches heals) just so that I can push it open! yes, it’s that hard.
    that’s what she said

    May 1, 2010 at 9:14 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   Woman on the Verge bang

    I think this whole rant is really about shoes. Note that dig, “I see you, you aren’t even wearing uncomfortable designer shoes…” Jealousy is an ugly thing.

    May 1, 2010 at 9:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Fanboy Wife

      So, buying expensive shoes is the ticket to the elevator? (Cheap-o shoes can be uncomfortable too…)

      May 1, 2010 at 11:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Rizmin

    While the note is hilariously offensive, I also have to agree with the sentiment. I don’t take an elevator for anything less than 5 flights (unless I have something heavy to carry), but anyone who is able-bodied taking an elevator for anything less than 3 is really annoying.

    May 1, 2010 at 10:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   mamason bang

      “I don’t take an elevator for anything less than 5 flights” :roll:

      I totally want to punch you in the face.

      May 1, 2010 at 6:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   Pockets

      Thanks, mamason. You took the emoticon out of my fingers.

      May 2, 2010 at 2:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      She’s like that. Don’t turn your back on her.

      May 2, 2010 at 2:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.4   clumber

      Well unless…..

      May 3, 2010 at 10:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   Donkey Burger

    Sometimes disabilities aren’t that obvious, even physical ones.

    But I doubt that the company would employ *that* many disabled people.

    May 1, 2010 at 1:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   barf

    So sick of people with their health concerns and disabilities. A bunch of whining, coddled wastes of flesh is what they be.

    Also sick of self-righteous hypocrites such as Liz’s coworker. Take the stairs yourself, jacka$$.

    May 1, 2010 at 2:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   park rose bang

      Namby-pamby bastards and big girls’ blouses, aren’t they, barf? I like your turn of phrase.

      May 1, 2010 at 6:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   mamason bang

    “… you have no excuse except that pile of lard you call your a$$.”

    So, I do have an excuse then. Awesome! 8-)

    May 1, 2010 at 3:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Fanboy Wife

      If my rear-end is the only excuse I need, I’m taking the elevator all the time!

      May 1, 2010 at 11:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   AuntyBron

    Of course I’m taking the elevator – THAT’S WHAT IT’S FOR!!

    May 1, 2010 at 10:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #25   GF

    So why doesn’t the ranter walk down one flight of stairs and catch the elevator where it’s empty? Did he just stand behind a crowd of fat people gritting his teeth in anger instead of walking over to the stairs himself?

    May 1, 2010 at 11:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #26   Bcteagirl

    I know there are people who do not appear to be disabled who have issues with mobility who may really need to use the elevator. I know that chronic pain is often under-estimated and dismissed. My heart goes out to them.

    I would however love to run the following experiment. Have everyone who honestly believes they cannot do a flight of stairs for health reasons, and have them ask their doctor if it would be appropriate for them to go up or down *one* flight of stairs at work when not carrying a heavy load. I think you would be surprised how many doctors would be enthusiastic about that possibility.

    Where I work the doctors are always trying to get people to participate in lower impact (walking, stairs) exercise for their health. These same people will agree and then ask for a placard so they don’t have to walk across a parking lot.

    May 2, 2010 at 11:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #27   Denny DelVecchio

    Oh I’ll forward it.


    Please let me.

    May 2, 2010 at 12:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #28   Sika

    Yes…if you take the elevator for one floor, I am judging you. In my opinion elevators aren’t for ease, they are for speed. The stairs are simply faster, so I usually take them. I hate walking into work in the morning and then, when my co-worker stops in front of the elevator, I have to bid them farewell and they are barely stepping in when I am sitting at my desk. If I have to go one floor up to HR…I’m going to walk…because I got shit to do!

    If you don’t believe me, just look at express elevators. They stop at every fifth or tenth floor at which point the people on them get out and walk the couple of floors to their level. This is required for large buildings where, if they let the lazy asses have their way, it could take more time to get to your office on the ump-teenth floor than it took you to drive to work. It’s just not practical to use the elevator for a lazy machine instead of a means of conveyance.

    I also totally agree with #26. If you have a weight, respiratory, cardio-vascular, or joint problem, your doctor would probably recommend that you take every opportunity for short workouts like 1 or 2 flights of stairs. My mother has arthritis in both her knees, is overweight, and recently tore her ACL. She can’t avoid stairs because she lives in a two story condo. Guess what? She does fine. Do it slow…it’s okay, it’ll still be faster than the elevator.

    May 2, 2010 at 11:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   LawGeek

      I’m glad I have you to fix all those silly notions my orthopedist put into my head.

      May 4, 2010 at 9:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #29   CHE

    Lazy. Lazy. Lazy. I’m sorry, but all this talk of medical conditions (asthma, breathing difficulties, etc) makes me want to scream. What a smoke screen. Walking up one flight of stairs does not count as a strenuous activity. If your heart rate is raised from doing that then you’ve got bigger problems than breathing–your heart can barely support your body.

    May 3, 2010 at 4:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #30   Anon Man

    Totally legit beef if the person isn’t injured or carrying a bunch of stuff. If you are obese and can’t take the stairs, ok, but maybe you ought think through some lifestyle ch0ices.

    I remember when I was in college, I got in an elevator to go to the 8th floor a meeting. The elevators were painfully slow. By the time they got there it was packed. One woman got in, went up one floor (stairs were right next to the elevator), and then everyone had to pile back out to let her out. Good times.

    May 3, 2010 at 9:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   LawGeek

      Amazing ability you have to tell whether that woman (and others) are injured just by looking at them. You could make a fortune off of that.

      May 4, 2010 at 9:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #31   Kimberly

    My doctor’s office is two floors. The staircase is right out in the front lobby, easily accessible, open to all and I always see the nurses waiting for the elevator. I can understand patient’s needing the elevator but you’d think that someone in the healthcare profession would chose the healthier alternative.

    May 3, 2010 at 10:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   kenzie.

      But what you don’t think about is that those nurses are taking the stairs multiple times a day. My aunt is a nurse practitioner, and when the elevator at her work broke she discovered that she went up and down the stairs nearly 100 times daily. Taking the stairs that frequently can make your feet/knees/hips hurt no matter how comfortable your shoes are. Nurses and other people in the healthcare field often have reasons for taking the “unhealthier” option.

      May 4, 2010 at 2:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #31.2   dave

      what is a nurse practitioner? anything like a “music composer”

      May 4, 2010 at 9:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #32   Nyx

    Not every young, able-looking person is what they seem. Think what you want about the validity of physical disabilities, but I went from being a top-notch competitive athlete to having my athletics career shot to hell by nerve damage in my spine. I still get on well enough to walk, and do most average things, but I walk three blocks from where I park (in a garage where I take the stairs), and three blocks back again (and again, stairs), and do physical therapy at home. If I want to take the elevator one floor, then I will. Screw your judgmental ass.

    May 3, 2010 at 4:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #33   LawGeek

    As yet another disabled person, I take the stairs when I am feeling *lazy* (or, more accurately, stressed and impatient). It is a pain in the ass to wait for the elevator. But – oof- my knees punish me later for it.

    And yeah, I do hate the death-glare from people who can’t tell I’m disabled. Lovely.

    May 4, 2010 at 9:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #34   seachristie bang

    I totally agree with the “crazy”. I feel like this every day when I see the fat asses getting on the elevator for a THREE FLOOR BUILDING. Or to go up one floor in the library. Awesome people. No wonder Wisconsin is one of the fattest states in America. I for one will not be a stereotype and refuse to take the elevator if the stairs are available to me. All of these so-called medical problems you lazy people use as excuses, it’s a flight of stairs, if you can’t walk up 1 flight of stairs.. how can you even walk from your car into the building? Seriously. Breathing problems my ass. I know tons of people with asthma and guess what a few of them are MARATHON runners so you can take your lazy ass and find another excuse for taking the elevator for one floor because I’m just NOT BUYING IT! This is why you’re fat and unhealthy in the first place.

    May 5, 2010 at 8:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #35   Gimparella

    On the one hand I appreciate the “not everybody’s issues are apparent” argument. On the other hand, it’s annoying to wait for a few elevators full of apparently able-bodied people to cycle past before one comes by with enough room to accommodate a wheelchair.

    You would think that at least one person in the past few decades would have said, “Since you can’t use the stairs and I can, how about you take my spot and I’ll hoof it the rest of the way?”

    May 5, 2010 at 12:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #36   Cat

    I can’t believe how many people are complaining about this non-issue. This is such a minor thing to be annoyed over that the fact that anyone is boiling over with this kind of rage about it makes me think that this person is probably quite privileged and doesn’t have any actual problems to worry over.

    May 5, 2010 at 12:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #37   Liz (submitter)

    Hahaha I can’t believe this made it! I submitted it forever ago! For the record, the writer is a SHE. This is among my favorites of her writing/creative arts samples. Also making the short list was her diatribe on the DPS, as well as a “doctoring” of our company dress policy pamphlet. The writer also does have boiling over rage issues, but who doesn’t? Also, while neither of us are originally Texans, we have grown to love this state for the unique place to live that it is.

    May 10, 2010 at 5:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #38   Crazy

    I am the author of that note. Our elevators have been getting “modernized” (whatever the f*ck that means) for the past 4 years. A building of close to 1500 people and 20-something floors are sharing 4 elevators.
    And I will state it: If your “medical condition” doesnt allow you to walk up or down ONE damn flight of stairs there is something more wrong with you than a “medical condition.” I did it when I was 9 months pregnant WHILE wearing designer shoes…

    May 10, 2010 at 7:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #39   Why climb when you can RIDE? |

    [...] Needless to say, the pudding was gone by the end of the day. * Perhaps you, dear reader, can keep this transcontinental chain alive. Please consider printing out your own copy of the above photo and posting it at your place of business and/or learning. related: You’re not even wearing designer shoes, so there’s no reason why you should be taking th… [...]

    May 17, 2011 at 2:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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