I’d like to imagine that this note, spotted by Michael in Sydney, Australia…
And this note, documented by Ron in Michigan…
…are both connected by one shamelessly bum-scratching female bicyclist.
related: Failed strategies in bicycle theft deterrence
The mystery of the bum-scratching bike thief
May 4th, 2010 · 58 comments
FILED UNDER: bicycle · CAPS LOCK · stealing · WTF?
58 responses so far ↓
#1
Parched
itchy bums can be caused by worms.. which also make you hungry.. and sometimes, make you FIRSTY!
May 4, 2010 at 7:18 pm rating: 30
#2
oi
and here we go again..
whomever or whoever?
May 4, 2010 at 7:32 pm rating: 6
#3
oi
I am perplexed by the note writer’s method of identifying the bike. Susan’s bike? and not pink bike w/blue rack or something.
Is bike an euphemism for something nasty? or are Susan and her itchy bum world famous?
May 4, 2010 at 7:37 pm rating: 15
#4
Escape Goat
Susan speaks in the 3rd person. Susan loved her bike. Susan knows homeless men with poison ivy.
May 4, 2010 at 8:05 pm rating: 15
#5
Dagny
The author was implying that Susan’s bum is rather quite itchy, and that whatever contagion she is suffering from is catching.
Poor Susan.
May 4, 2010 at 8:06 pm rating: 5
#6
ddddddw
am i the only one wondering…what’s the matter with Susan’s bum? And is this information that she would put out or maybe someone else knows firsthand that Susan’s “Itchy Bum” is catchy?
May 4, 2010 at 10:46 pm rating: 1
#7
gladystopia
“May you get a seriously itchy bum”?
How does Susan know my former roomie?
May 4, 2010 at 11:17 pm rating: 3
#8
Canthz_B
Ladies on bikes will forever have shame heaped upon them…at least until the side-saddle pedaled bike is perfected.
May 5, 2010 at 12:36 am rating: 5
#9
TheOldSchool
Yesterday, it was her panties. Today, it’s her bike.
Neither of them were stolen.
Susan’s a lot like my grandmother: just another drunken, accusatory slut who blacks out and forgets where she leaves things.
Tomorrow, there’ll likely be a sign about her stolen false teeth.
May 5, 2010 at 2:14 am rating: 12
#10
Blogmella
The sign in Michigan is sending out mixed messages – the person it is aimed at deserves to feel “shame”, yet she is still a “lady”.
May 5, 2010 at 2:35 am rating: 6
#11
Woman on the Verge
That first one sounds like a Jewish curse.. “May you never be alone in bed: you should always have crabs.”
May 5, 2010 at 8:22 am rating: 7
#12
Sam S
Itchy bum + shotgun = a bad day
May 5, 2010 at 9:42 am rating: 2
#13
mamason
Confucius say: She who ride bike with itchy bum, is most likely on her way to pharmacy.
May 5, 2010 at 11:53 am rating: 9
#14
mamason
OMG! WTF did the lady on the bike do that she should be ashamed? This is gonna drive me crazy!
May 5, 2010 at 1:36 pm rating: 3
#15
mamason
There’s a seriously itchy bum who sleeps in the doorway to my office building.
May 5, 2010 at 1:39 pm rating: 5
#16
Mace Elaine
The second guy totally misspelled Shamon Yu’s name. Poor guy gets that a lot. Too much coke in the bathroom.
May 5, 2010 at 1:52 pm rating: 3
#17
Grumpy McGrumperson
That first note is an inspiration, truly…
The next time I feel the need to cuss someone on the subway for body slamming me, I think using “May you get a seriously itchy bum!” (spoken in dulcet tones, of course) will make my day that much better.
After all, you can only use, “what the hell?! goddamned dog fucker!” so many times before it loses it charm, really.
May 5, 2010 at 2:34 pm rating: 4
#18
Mo®
See Susan ride her bicycle.
Ride Susan ride!
See Susan scratch her bum.
Scratch Susan scratch!
See Susan get arrested for riding her bicycle naked and vigorously “scratching” her nether regions in public.
May 5, 2010 at 3:12 pm rating: 3
#19
Mo®
Was this perhaps a bicycle built for two? I would just call it even and be grateful to be rid of the louse bum. He never pedaled anyway!
May 5, 2010 at 4:20 pm rating: 2
#20
wurdnurd
There once was a bum named Itchy,
whose cardboard home was quite kitschy.
When sober she’s serious,
well liquored delerious.
And on Sue’s seatless bike did find shame.
May 6, 2010 at 9:25 pm rating: 0
#21
El Jefe
The crossed-out letter clearly looks like an ‘R’ to me. I’m surprised that given the guttersnipe tendencies of folks here they haven’t realized the salaciousness of a “LADY ON BIKER” situation.
Boy, how about some spacing between words too? Otherwise, are we discussing an elementary particle, the ladyon?
May 10, 2010 at 11:38 am rating: 0
#22
Max Time
“may your bum get a bloody hemroid”
May 13, 2010 at 9:03 am rating: 0
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