Happy F’ing Mother’s Day!

May 9th, 2010 · 60 comments

Sara in Easton, Maryland received this mother’s day card made by her 7-year-old daughter in school. “Yes, I sometimes have a potty mouth,” Sara says, “but I’m working on it, dammit! I just hope her teacher didn’t judge me too harshly…”

Thank you for really trying to not say cus [sic] words near me. Love, Kyla  please!!!

Meanwhile, Allison in Columbia, South Carolina found this sad little bookmark in a public library book. (An Amy Tan novel, naturally.)

20 min would have been far better than 0 min w/you  Happy Mother's day anyways  LOVE Mia

related: Thanks, Mom, for reminding me why I moved out in the first place.

FILED UNDER: kids · Moms & Dads · Mother's Day · Mother-daughter notes · signed with love


60 responses so far ↓

  • #1   pilgrimchick

    Gotta love that kind of honesty, regardless of age.

    May 9, 2010 at 6:54 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Kelly

    I just read a post on facebook from my sister announcing what a great time her and my mom had at their mom’s day outing. last night my mom said she was working at a campground and didn’t have time to meet up with me for her present. Hmmm……

    May 9, 2010 at 6:56 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Kat

      @Kelly Time to write mom a passive-aggressive note! :D

      May 9, 2010 at 7:01 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Mo® bang

      May 10, 2010 at 9:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Z

    ouch!

    May 9, 2010 at 7:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Woman on the Verge bang

    Funny, I always tell my mother that zero minutes would be much better than 20 minutes with her.

    May 9, 2010 at 7:15 pm   rating: 56  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   clumber

      This.

      May 10, 2010 at 3:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   oi bang

      That.

      May 10, 2010 at 3:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Mark bang

      Deez.

      May 10, 2010 at 3:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Bunnee

      The other.

      May 10, 2010 at 5:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   dixiechick

    My mother always said, “Drat!” and “Dadgummit!” But on the phone with her my freshman year in college about some social crisis I was having, she said, “Tell them to fuck off.” Looonngg silence. “Mama, I don’t think I’ve heard you say that word before.” “I don’t think I’ve ever said it before. Maybe I’ve been saving it up all my life.” LOL!

    May 9, 2010 at 7:17 pm   rating: 70  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Donna Martin Graduates!

      ^ I love her answer! I think I taught my mother to say ‘fuck.’ Or at least she got comfortable about saying it around me.

      May 9, 2010 at 7:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Flaboy24225

      My parents never, ever said anything stronger than “Heck” (Mother), or “Pshaw” (Dad). I came home on leave from Navy Boot Camp to find my brother and sisters at home for the occasion. At the large noon meal, I said, “Pass the fuckin’ salt.” That turned into an unforgettable experience.

      May 9, 2010 at 11:55 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   a-Arialist

      My Mum swears like a trooper when she’s been watching too many Gordon Ramsey programmes on TV. She’s never really been the ‘drat’ type, though.

      May 10, 2010 at 2:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Mo® bang

      I heart Dixiechick mom! I hear her saying it with a lovely and demure southern accent.

      May 10, 2010 at 9:23 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   The Elf

      My Dad swears so creatively and frequently that it has induced fits of laughter from me. Which, let me assure you, was not a good thing back when I was a teenager and he was swearing because of something I did. When he gets really mad, he sings his curses. I have never thought of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” the same way again.

      Mom doesn’t curse unless it is really dire, and then she lowers her voice like it’s a big secret. I can only think that this is a passive-aggressive retaliation.

      May 12, 2010 at 10:54 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   Dark Matter

      Christ, I thought my mom was the only one who did the singing-the-curses thing. It’s always been one of my better ways of determining just how angry she is.

      (And it really is hysterically funny.)

      May 17, 2010 at 2:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Riss

    Our mum used to curse a blue streak at us whenever she was in a bad mood, and then when she caught us swearing would ask where we learned those words. Gotta love parental cognitive dissonance.

    May 9, 2010 at 8:06 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Sabine

    My neighbor curses around the preschoolers and tells them, “These are grown up words, just like Mommy has grown up drinks. When you grow up, you can choose your own drinks and words.”

    May 9, 2010 at 8:18 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Mace Elaine

      Agreed. As a child, I was taught about the appropriate times to swear: when you’ve hurt yourself, and when you’re watching football.

      May 10, 2010 at 5:22 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Jessi

    My mom never swore when I was growing up. Never! I think the worst I ever heard her say was “What the hell” or something… but NOW… ever since she hooked up with her boyfriend four years ago, she swears more than I do. I think more than I did even in my rebellious teenage years. It’s pretty sad, really.

    May 9, 2010 at 8:32 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   park rose bang

      I think lots of parents temper their language when they have kids. As a teacher, I tend not to swear in front of my students. Naturally, a select few end up the subjects of silent curses on the got-out-of-bed-on-the-wrong-side days. I am sure that the feeling is often mutual.

      May 10, 2010 at 12:53 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   TheOldSchool bang

      Rose, would you mind sharing some of your more outrageous silent curses with us?

      May 10, 2010 at 1:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   park rose bang

      I’m playing dumb on this one, TOS.

      May 10, 2010 at 1:35 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   infant tyrone bang

      A mute more resilient than the plumber’s helper fronting Kid Ory’s ‘bone.

      May 10, 2010 at 9:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Foxy J bang

      My mom didn’t curse in front of us when we were kids, but when my dad left (when we were late teens/20s), forget about it. We weren’t allowed to say “that sucks” growing up, then post-divorce we would come home for school breaks or whatever and mom and her boyfriend would be pounding a few beverages and dropping the f-bomb. (Both of which they do in moderation – they are lots of fun and not pathological about either of those things – it was just such a noticeable change.)

      Also, not really related but I used to live in Easton, MD, I wonder if this kid goes to the ultra-snooty school that I did when I lived there…

      May 10, 2010 at 10:45 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Ellen

    I make it a rule never, ever to cuss ( like the sailor I really am) in front of my son. I slipped out a “damn” once. But today? He were at a nature center, watching a group of 7 mallards swimming. “They’re gonna go get their beer on, then watch the game I bet” said the 8 y/o. Did I mention I don’t drink either? (But I’m still hella snarky!). Nice one!

    May 9, 2010 at 9:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   brandine bang

    Wondering what that “Please!!” is about. I’ve come up with three theories:

    *Kyla has expended blood, sweat and tears writing this prefabricated Mother’s Day card. She expects a gift.

    *Kyla doesn’t understand commas, and thinks she is exhorting mom to love her.

    *Sara is one of those “regular names are for suckers” moms.

    May 9, 2010 at 9:28 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Kim

      I figured it was somewhat like that “Hello, my name is No-no-bad-dog” joke.

      May 9, 2010 at 10:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   farcical aquatic ceremony

      the kid was born “Kyle”
      wants world to “please!!!” listen:
      “Kyla is my name”

      May 10, 2010 at 1:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Mo® bang

      Have you seen my friend Kyla? She’s about this tall…

      May 10, 2010 at 1:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Maas

      I took it as a “please love me” sort of thing, and she just doesn’t feel bound by the auto filled punctuation provided for her.

      Of course it could be that there is a “cus word” covered by whiteout preceding the “please!!!”.

      May 10, 2010 at 4:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Mace Elaine

      I read it as a sassy coworker from a sitcom.

      May 10, 2010 at 5:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   shwonline bang

    Dear Kyla,

    You’re fucking welcome, sweetie!

    Mom

    May 9, 2010 at 9:51 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Blogmella bang

    I think Kyla’s mum sounds ace. She tries not to swear in front of her daughter and even though she sometimes fails, her daughter still understands that swearing is wrong.

    My children never told me off for swearing, because I taught them to understand that it is REALLY FUNNY.

    May 10, 2010 at 12:47 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   matt

    Why does the note at the top have a picture of a girl making a satanic hand signal? I’m guessing that if you’re sending your Little-Miss-Satan to an anti-christian school, you can swear all you like.

    May 10, 2010 at 1:01 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   park rose bang

      On the other hand, the second note is from Little-Miss-Saturn, I think. And there might be some nuns involved, or ruin, or both. In either case, I’m sure some revolving of either head or celestial body is required.

      May 10, 2010 at 1:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Gretal

      I don’t know why it is there, but it is American Sign Language shorthand for “I love you”. It combines the letters for I, L and Y.

      May 10, 2010 at 1:20 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Bunnee

      I think she just likes to rock out!

      May 10, 2010 at 5:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Gretal

    Oh, that second one is painful!

    May 10, 2010 at 1:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Bunnee

    My Mother’s Day “card” that my son made in kindergarten said that I look prettiest “when I wear eyeshadow” and that he loves me because “I’m cute”. Hmmm….I guess 6 year olds are kind of shallow.

    May 10, 2010 at 9:05 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Blogmella bang

      Males are kind of shallow, the age is irrelevant.

      May 10, 2010 at 9:21 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Mo® bang

      Shallow people are shallow, the gender is irrelevant.

      May 10, 2010 at 10:26 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      Does my ass look big in these jeans? Um, what were we talking about?

      May 10, 2010 at 10:44 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Bunnee

      Wo, this is why I love you, big-ass jeans and all!

      May 10, 2010 at 10:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   Mo® bang

      I am sorry, I was too busy looking at your rack to notice your jeans.

      May 10, 2010 at 10:57 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.6   jaywalke

      You ass looks normal, but check out the ROCK on that engagement ring! He must really love you if he spent a lot of money.

      May 10, 2010 at 11:06 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.7   wurdnurd

      Those jeans make your rack look great !

      May 10, 2010 at 7:12 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   jayskinner70

    After 3 1/2 hours at my mom’s yesterday, I tried to leave. She asked what was so important that I needed to leave. I told her that I had enjoyed my time with her and the family but I’d had my fill and would like to get back to my life (basketball playoffs, smoking some weed, scratching myself with various objects – you know – the usual). She guilted me into another 1 1/2 hours. Upon trying to leave a second time, she asked why I wanted to leave this time. I said I’d had a great time but too much of anything – even a good thing – was bad. She looked so disappointed by that comment. WTF? Am I supposed to stay until we are all having a bad time? Jewish guilt at its finest!

    May 10, 2010 at 9:40 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   jaywalke

      Tell her you have to check in with your parole officer.

      May 10, 2010 at 9:45 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Bartleby Hutchinson

      Tell her you like wanting to being around more than actually being there. “It keeps it fresh when I do see ya!!”

      Kinda sorta like long distance relationships..

      May 11, 2010 at 10:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Mo® bang

    Thank you for, realy trying to not say any cus words near me. But please please please mommy get off the pole! Kyla

    May 10, 2010 at 2:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   infant tyrone bang

      Kyla, that’s not a Pole, that’s a Slovenian.
      Now…point the magic light-reflector thingy back towards Mommy.

      May 10, 2010 at 2:37 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Denny DelVecchio

    Is that cartoon blonde flashing a gang sign??

    May 10, 2010 at 8:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   ISpy

    Kyla, honey,

    Thanks for noticing all the important shit I do for you every day, not to mention the fact I now have stretch marks and urinary incontinence from carrying your sorry ass around for 9 months. I’ll cus whenever the hell I want to.

    Love,
    Mom

    May 12, 2010 at 12:18 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Kyla

    Excellent name choice, if I do say so myself.

    May 12, 2010 at 3:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
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