Our Bay-Area submitter returned from lunch one day to find this note from an anonymous concerned coworker.
“I’ll admit that I’ve gained about 15 pounds recently,” she says. However, “At 4′11 and normally around 95 pounds, even with the extra 15 I’m still within an acceptable weight range for my height.” But the real kicker, says our submitter?
“I’m also 5 months pregnant. I just haven’t made a big deal about it by talking incessantly about it or demanding special treatment like I’m God’s gift to the world just because I got myself knocked up.”
(So, uh, I think that’s a no, she won’t be seeing you there.)
related: I am beautiful, not matter what they say (or passive-aggressively insinuate)
102 responses so far ↓
#1
Nelly
Man, whoever wrote the note obviously goes to the meetings- I’d go just to call them out “Whoever wrote this note; I’M PREGNANT, FOOL.”
May 11, 2010 at 8:35 pm rating: 100
#2
Petra
I wouldn’t make a big deal of being pregnant at your work either if those are the kind of notes they leave! Geez!!!
May 11, 2010 at 8:39 pm rating: 21
#3
gladystopia
I would immediately embark on a large-scale (ugh…nevermind) handwriting analysis project of the entire office staff.
This project would shortly thereafter be expanded (oh, dammit all) to a careful study of how many sharp raps with a heavy-duty Swingline stapler are required to shatter the skull of the average person who thought this note would be in any way a good idea. (I’m thinking the writer’s skull would probably take more than the average number of whackings before shattering–obviously the person was thick-headed enough to think this note would strike the right tone. There IS no way to strike the right tone when you’re saying, “So, I’ve noticed you resemble a manatee. Have you planned on doing anything about that, or not?”)
(Yes, I am amply-built. Yes, my generally-placid facade does in fact conceal an untold level of hostility towards sanctimonious fuckbuckets like this notewriter. Yes, I’m fairly certain there IS some connection between the two.)
May 11, 2010 at 8:40 pm rating: 116
#4
Zutto
…I’ll admit it, I’d have trouble not kicking who-ever wrote this note in the crotch.
May 11, 2010 at 8:41 pm rating: 22
#5
crumplet
I was suspecting she’s the same Bulgarian
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/11/09/loose-lips-shrink-hips
probably not
May 11, 2010 at 8:42 pm rating: 6
#6
Bemused
This is the only pregnant woman NOT out there shoving her belly in everyone’s face, and she gets this treatment.
May 11, 2010 at 8:45 pm rating: 83
#7
Jem
Wow.. people like this should be taken down to the back paddock and shot… seriously.. I bet the person who wrote this note is super fat as well.
May 11, 2010 at 8:51 pm rating: 4
#8
Astounder (who could use a diet herself)
Oh! Oh! Oh! Submitter should TOTALLY go to a meeting and then during the weigh-in announce that she’s 5mos pregnant – I hear that preggos get to eat more food than the ordinary WW folk.
May 11, 2010 at 8:53 pm rating: 18
#9
Dina
Frackin’ concern trolls…
May 11, 2010 at 8:56 pm rating: 7
#10
Private Joker
My official response would be: Go FUCK yourself!
May 11, 2010 at 8:57 pm rating: 0
#11
Patrick
That fetus was fucking delicious.
May 11, 2010 at 9:22 pm rating: 21
#12
Freddie
“Also, I get a free month for every new person I bring in! Have any other fat friends you want to bring along?”
May 11, 2010 at 9:23 pm rating: 8
#13
Chad
That “progam” sounds damn good.
May 11, 2010 at 9:29 pm rating: 0
#14
The Girl With Kaleidescope Eyes
Massive kudos to the submitter for not behaving like she was the first woman EVER to have given birth.
I wish I could be there a few months down the road when the ass-hat note writer realizes the woman is pregnant!
I guess this ranks right up there with wrongly assuming a woman is pregnant when she’s just overweight!
May 11, 2010 at 9:33 pm rating: 42
#15
Sam
I’m severely overweight (45 BMI) and have recently started a very costly medically supervised weight loss program. The doctor calls me weekly to make sure I’m not dead. My obesity is my own fault. It was the result of years of bad choices and silent suffering. A few people tried to reach out and help over the years but I turned them down. I wish I hadn’t. Your coworker is trying to help. They made a mistake. By your own admission they couldn’t have known about your pregnancy. Please don’t discourage people from trying to help others. A simple sincere note like that could be the life-line that saves someone’s life.
May 11, 2010 at 10:04 pm rating: 17
#16
gladystopia
Also, sincere notes generally do not require smiley-faces to take the edge off their sanctimony and disingenuous message of “I REALLY! Care! About! You!”
Well, okay, MY sincere notes do. But most people’s don’t.
(edited to add: gigglebrax fail duly noted; I will be under my bed with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. (Or possibly a lot of Benadryl and a guy named Jerry….depends what I find in the freezer.))
May 11, 2010 at 11:21 pm rating: 29
#17
Rossy
While I don’t believe that the note-writer in this case is exactly the brightest bulb on the tree, one thing I do have to say in their defense is this: If “big” people are all like “FU! I’m proud to be big! nom nom nom.” …then why do they get so easily offended if someone says something about it, no matter how the person says it? I mean it looks to me like this person was honestly trying to be helpful in their own naive, little-blue-note-writing way. This is nothing like those horrible notes we’ve seen from people’s mothers, etc. Whatever. (shrug)
May 12, 2010 at 12:42 am rating: 8
#18
TippingCows
I’d carefully monitor my fellow employees and eventually announce my pregnancy employee by employee. You’ll tell by their reaction who the person was. When you get the reaction you are waiting for, tell them, “Yes, that’s why I didn’t join Weight Watchers – it’s not recommended for pregnant women.”
Then take a picture while the expression lasts.
May 12, 2010 at 12:46 am rating: 26
#19
Kore
I hate it when people start out with “Don’t take this the wrong way” or “Don’t get mad, but”. It’s like saying “I’m going to say something offensive, but you’re not allowed to get upset because I announced it in advance.”
May 12, 2010 at 1:31 am rating: 78
#20
Canthz_B
This sort of thing happens wherever the Reverend Sun Myung Moon opens a new Weight Watchers
cellchapter.May 12, 2010 at 1:57 am rating: 3
#21
Canthz_B
Employees like her put taco stands right out of business.
May 12, 2010 at 2:03 am rating: 6
#22
aelwyn
Wow, the note-writer sure will be embarrassed in 4 months time.
May 12, 2010 at 4:03 am rating: 11
#23
a*p
I’m on team “go to the WW meeting and announce pregnancy” but I’m also pondering if reporting the note to HR would be overkill. Yes it would.
By no means should someone 110 pounds be accused of needing WW. I’m a great deal more than that, but I’d still be offended to get an anonymous note like that.
May 12, 2010 at 7:09 am rating: 19
#24
Max Time
well I think I’d just go there to be like pissed at her and be like “why are you so mean” and like then you just steal her car and like do whatever chicks do when their depressed
May 12, 2010 at 8:38 am rating: 3
#25
Party in my pants
A 110 pounder at a WW meeting could be a problem… they will eat her or beat her up.
Take the note and your ultrasound photo and post them on a bulletin board…MYOB.
May 12, 2010 at 8:49 am rating: 43
#26
Sam S
I would find out who wrote the note and respond with the following:
“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but your ‘concern’ for my health is merely a projection of your own self-loathing. And you have good reason. You’re fat, you’ re ugly, your taste in clothes is horrible, and your perfume smells like bug spray. And your problems are not only visual. You are also a completely useless fuckbucket and a black hole of productivity in this office. I don’t know why the boss keeps you – unless you’re blowing him. If so, I would give him the “mountain climbing” advice – DON’T LOOK DOWN! Anyhoo, I just wanted to send you this note. Please don’t take it the wrong way.
May 12, 2010 at 9:30 am rating: 23
#27
The Elf
Am I the only one puzzled by the fact that this weight cited is 110 and the note referenced later (“I am beautiful….”) cites 115? I’m thinking that under 120 the new under 160. Sign me up!
May 12, 2010 at 10:44 am rating: 2
#28
VM
Looks to me the note is driven by the misplaced fervor of the converted (“I lost 20 pounds that way!”) than hypercriticism. And it was maybe the rapidity of weight gain she’s reacting to – and extrapolating where it might lead – than the 15 pounds per se. STILL obnoxious x 2, but I think it deserves the PA silk lash more than the STFU bomb. Go to the meeting, just poke your head in and say cheerily “Hi! Heard about you guys from a note someone left me, just wanted to check where you were in case I’ll need help losing the baby weight after my delivery! Bye!”
May 12, 2010 at 10:49 am rating: 18
#29
spanpris
I admit that when I seem someone who appears to be unhealthily overweight(ie they have trouble even walking) I do feel genuine concern for their health and sad for what they must go through just to perform what most of us would consider to be routine tasks. But I also realize that these same folks probably could care less what I think and would be down right offended by my pity.
It doesn’t matter if I’m concerned for a perfect stranger/coworker/etc. If I’m not close enough to the person concerned to have a discussion with them face to face to express my concern than I have no business writing them a note.
May 12, 2010 at 11:19 am rating: 26
#30
Edwina the Defrocked Nun
I’d rename myself “Sanctimonious Fuckbucket” but I comment from work and I don’t want that coming up as my regular log-in.
There are some sanctimonious fuckbuckets in my workplace and I’m afraid they would think I was impersonating them.
May 12, 2010 at 12:13 pm rating: 13
#31
abby
this woman deserves a high five for being five months pregnant and remembering that people learn how to do that shit in fifth grade – it’s not that uncommon.
she also probably deserves some sort of baked good.
May 12, 2010 at 2:30 pm rating: 7
#32
from a good weight watcher
That chick must be a shitty weight watcher, cause, it’s my first week and even i know they dont’ take pregnant ladies.
May 12, 2010 at 2:43 pm rating: 6
#33
aaa
So, how little do you have to have going on in your life to actually take notice of somebody’s weight gain and give enough of a shit to write an anonymous note?
May 12, 2010 at 3:05 pm rating: 22
#34
Cordelia
No way is this note writer trying to reach out and help. She is just a nosy busybody who needs to get a life. (And probably gained those 20 pounds by eating some pregnant woman’s daily dose of calcium rich yogurt from the office fridge.
) Even at 4′11″ 15 pounds is not a weight crisis that demands a passive-aggressive post-it intervention. For her sake, I just hope the pregnant woman is married or the note writer is going to start leaving post-its about eharmony and adoption agencies.
May 12, 2010 at 8:54 pm rating: 14
#35
Toya
It’s amazing how nosy some people can be. If I were the person who got this note, I would go to the meeting, and when the “leader” asked me what were my goals were for joining the group, I would just announce “Uh, actually I’m not here to lose weight. That would actually be bad for me and my baby. I just came to say that whoever gave me this note is wrong for their nosiness.” And then I’d walk out. Course where I work, everyone knows everyone’s handwriting so if that did happen to me, I would have addressed the issue rather quickly.
Personally it’s refreshing to have a woman not wanting to blab to the entire company (although it does prevent this scenario). I work with one woman right now who can only talk about what’s going on what her belly. She uses her pregnancy as an excuse (imo) to get out of work. I’m so happy that she’s going on maternity leave in a couple weeks.
May 12, 2010 at 10:01 pm rating: 3
#36
RP
This note is harassment.
The note writer is deliberately being nasty because the OP gained weight due to a pregnancy and she should take this note to HR. Doesn’t matter that the note writer doesn’t know she’s pregnant. What matters is that the OP will regret not getting an official record of this asshatery if & when the note writer decides to step it up a notch.
Not everyone gets embarrassed into silence. Some people just blame you for it and start harassing you more.
May 13, 2010 at 2:31 pm rating: 9
#37
Stacey
Ah-hah-hah-hah! What is it with people in the Bay Area? When I was working there I happened to lose weight — maybe about 10 or 15 lbs that I actually did need to lose — and I had a colleague actually ask me if I had an “eating disorder.” WTF? Then when I said no he told other people he was “worried about” me and my weight. I just laughed at him but man, it was weird and I remember it to this day. Some people have nothing better to do than study the size of other peoples’ butts, I guess.
May 14, 2010 at 12:43 pm rating: 2
#38
Thebe
All you people are hilarious. I’d put the note up at my desk, in plain sight. You’ll probably be telling people soon anyway. I love the suggestion to put a printout of the ultrasound next to it.
May 18, 2010 at 10:47 am rating: 0
#39
ArmyOfAardvarks
Whoever wrote that note is my hero. I hate fatties.
May 20, 2010 at 8:20 pm rating: 0
#40
Shannon
That person is so retarded. Also WW doesn’t allow pregnant women cause you’re SUPPOSED to eat. But I think this person needs to break work dress code and wear a “baby in the oven” sort of shirt.
May 20, 2010 at 8:33 pm rating: 0
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