Please don’t take this the wrong way, but mind your own damn business.

May 11th, 2010 · 105 comments

Our Bay-Area submitter returned from lunch one day to find this note from an anonymous concerned coworker.

“I’ll admit that I’ve gained about 15 pounds recently,” she says. However, “At 4’11 and normally around 95 pounds, even with the extra 15 I’m still within an acceptable weight range for my height.” But the real kicker, says our submitter?

“I’m also 5 months pregnant. I just haven’t made a big deal about it by talking incessantly about it or demanding special treatment like I’m God’s gift to the world just because I got myself knocked up.”

Please don't take this the wrong way, I am just concerned for your health. Have you considered Weight Watchers? I lost 20lb that way!!! We even have a program here at work. Tues @ Noon - hope to see you there! :)

(So, uh, I think that’s a no, she won’t be seeing you there.)

related: I am beautiful, not matter what they say (or passive-aggressively insinuate)

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · Bay Area · hey fatty · most popular notes of 2010 · office · oh no you didn't · preggers · smiley · the best of intentions


105 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Nelly

    Man, whoever wrote the note obviously goes to the meetings- I’d go just to call them out “Whoever wrote this note; I’M PREGNANT, FOOL.”

    May 11, 2010 at 8:35 pm   rating: 175  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   alicia

      i would join the weight watchers group just so i could take the note and address it at the meeting…unleash some pregnancy hormones on some fatty busybodies :-)

      May 11, 2010 at 11:39 pm   rating: 81  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   alicia

      but then again i’m also the one that when someone asks “oh when are you do?” i get that horrified look on my face and tell them i’m not pregnant….hilarious

      May 11, 2010 at 11:41 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Lisa

      Submitter should just keep quiet about her pregnancy and start eating progressively more decadent junk food at her desk all day. It would drive the judgmental dieter note writer batshit crazy.

      May 13, 2010 at 4:25 pm   rating: 105  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   VZG

      And talk about the food, too. A lot. “Gosh, I’m so hungry. Oh, I have chocolate cake for lunch! I’d ask if you wanted some, but I’m really, really hungry.”

      May 17, 2010 at 3:15 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Petra

    I wouldn’t make a big deal of being pregnant at your work either if those are the kind of notes they leave! Geez!!!

    May 11, 2010 at 8:39 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   gladystopia

    I would immediately embark on a large-scale (ugh…nevermind) handwriting analysis project of the entire office staff.

    This project would shortly thereafter be expanded (oh, dammit all) to a careful study of how many sharp raps with a heavy-duty Swingline stapler are required to shatter the skull of the average person who thought this note would be in any way a good idea. (I’m thinking the writer’s skull would probably take more than the average number of whackings before shattering–obviously the person was thick-headed enough to think this note would strike the right tone. There IS no way to strike the right tone when you’re saying, “So, I’ve noticed you resemble a manatee. Have you planned on doing anything about that, or not?”)

    (Yes, I am amply-built. Yes, my generally-placid facade does in fact conceal an untold level of hostility towards sanctimonious fuckbuckets like this notewriter. Yes, I’m fairly certain there IS some connection between the two.)

    May 11, 2010 at 8:40 pm   rating: 197  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Zutto

      I would like to second this motion and would like to suggest that the recipient of this note should do all of the above while eating ice-cream and cake.

      May 11, 2010 at 8:43 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Freddie

      “Sanctimonious fuckbucket” is my new favorite phrase.

      May 11, 2010 at 9:25 pm   rating: 123  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   seacurs

      Fuckbucket. Cum receptacle. I learn such cool new phrases here.

      May 11, 2010 at 9:42 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Mace Elaine

      It wouldn’t be TOO hard to find out who it was, she’d just have to start casing the Weight Watcher’s meetings.

      Now I’m thinking about sausage casings.

      TEAM FATTY

      May 12, 2010 at 2:38 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Sliverbane

      “Sanctimonious fuckbucket” It seems so right… I hope the cockwashing ass rag who wrote the note chokes on their Weight Watchers

      May 13, 2010 at 1:18 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Zutto

    …I’ll admit it, I’d have trouble not kicking who-ever wrote this note in the crotch.

    May 11, 2010 at 8:41 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Bunnee

      …with a pointy shoe!

      May 12, 2010 at 9:28 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   LittleSprout bang

      Now, who would like a shoe in her vagina??? ;)

      May 21, 2010 at 12:04 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   crumplet

    I was suspecting she’s the same Bulgarian

    http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/11/09/loose-lips-shrink-hips

    probably not

    May 11, 2010 at 8:42 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Bemused

    This is the only pregnant woman NOT out there shoving her belly in everyone’s face, and she gets this treatment.

    May 11, 2010 at 8:45 pm   rating: 141  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Astounder

      And the reason women announce they’re pregnant before they’re actually showing suddenly becomes crystal clear….

      May 11, 2010 at 8:54 pm   rating: 136  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Jem

    Wow.. people like this should be taken down to the back paddock and shot… seriously.. I bet the person who wrote this note is super fat as well.

    May 11, 2010 at 8:51 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   kmd

      No, Jem, people who are “super fat” are all too aware of the level of hate and bigotry heaped on fat people by the perky little “I lost 20 lbs!!” assholes of the world.

      No, the note writer is thin, has always been thin, and “lost 20 lbs!!” so that she could be Thinner Than Thou.

      May 12, 2010 at 7:14 am   rating: 163  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   KarenW

      Damn right, kmd. No fat person is going to look at a 4’11″, 110 lb. woman and think “Wow, she really needs to lose some weight.” This is the work of some MeMe Roth-style skinny bitch food nazi. I would absolutely go to the Weight Watchers meeting just to find this bitch and viciously shame her.

      May 12, 2010 at 5:27 pm   rating: 80  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   VZG

      Amen to that. The only folks I know who harp on other people’s weight (especially to their faces) have fast metabolisms and/or have been pushed to be super-healthy from childhood.

      May 17, 2010 at 3:18 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Astounder (who could use a diet herself)

    Oh! Oh! Oh! Submitter should TOTALLY go to a meeting and then during the weigh-in announce that she’s 5mos pregnant – I hear that preggos get to eat more food than the ordinary WW folk.

    May 11, 2010 at 8:53 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Luke

      I totally agree, but would go even further by announcing at the meeting you’re there because someone there brought up long-repressed inadequacy issues by writing you an anonymous note about how you have to lose weight. Then apologize for crying (oh yeah, fake crying too) and say you’re hormonal from being 5 months pregnant and what you would consider hideously overweight.

      Cue note-writer suicide.

      May 11, 2010 at 9:33 pm   rating: 329  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Naoyusimi

      “Cue note-writer suicide.”
      Luke, I can’t tell you how much I *love* the above plan!

      I wanted to vote multiple times, but it wouldn’t let me . . .
      . . . I’ll find a way.

      May 11, 2010 at 10:10 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   HappyNat

      She should show up at the meeting and bring a box of donuts.

      May 12, 2010 at 7:14 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      Oh, she should go to the meeting and announce that she’s just come from Planned Parenthood where she terminated her pregnancy because a good-hearted co-worker was concerned for her health.

      May 12, 2010 at 9:55 am   rating: 142  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   HappyNat

      And then offer the box of donuts to celebrate the “weight” she just lost.

      May 12, 2010 at 1:49 pm   rating: 49  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   mystic_eye

      Well weight watcher *does* have plans for nursing and pregnant women/sarcasm

      Seriously 110lbs? Of course it probably looks like a bit more because its baby belly but still.

      If you don’t want to cop to being pregnant say that you have uterine fibroids, which can make you look very pregnant as my friend with foot-in-mouth-disease found out when he congratulated a man on his wife’s pregnancy …when she was NOT pregnant (Ohh and for added points they were having fertility problems)

      May 16, 2010 at 10:45 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Dina

    Frackin’ concern trolls…

    May 11, 2010 at 8:56 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Private Joker

    My official response would be: Go FUCK yourself!

    May 11, 2010 at 8:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Patrick

    That fetus was fucking delicious.

    May 11, 2010 at 9:22 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Freddie

    “Also, I get a free month for every new person I bring in! Have any other fat friends you want to bring along?”

    May 11, 2010 at 9:23 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Chad

    That “progam” sounds damn good.

    May 11, 2010 at 9:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   The Girl With Kaleidescope Eyes

    Massive kudos to the submitter for not behaving like she was the first woman EVER to have given birth.
    I wish I could be there a few months down the road when the ass-hat note writer realizes the woman is pregnant!
    I guess this ranks right up there with wrongly assuming a woman is pregnant when she’s just overweight!

    May 11, 2010 at 9:33 pm   rating: 64  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   AuntyBron

      Poll Time:

      Is it better to be fat and presumed to be pregnant?

      or pregnant and presumed to be fat?

      May 12, 2010 at 12:06 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Nack

      Pregnant and presumed to be fat.

      At least in 9 months, they’ll feel like a massive idiot! And you’ll have wicked glee.

      The other just makes you feel bad.

      May 12, 2010 at 12:30 am   rating: 51  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Zoe

      I think sometimes people pretend to assume you’re pregnant. I think it’s easier to say “Ooooh you’re pregnant, when are you due” than “Oooh you’ve become a fat cow”. All the while the two mean the same thing (fat cow).

      May 12, 2010 at 1:05 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   RP

      @Nack – Agreed.

      The only thing you can do after explaining that you’re not pregnant, just fat is to add “I’m also infertile so thanks for bringing that up.”

      Women with PCOS have this problem because not only does it cause infertility but it also causes weight gain in your torso in a way that does make you look pregnant.

      May 13, 2010 at 2:24 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Sam

    I’m severely overweight (45 BMI) and have recently started a very costly medically supervised weight loss program. The doctor calls me weekly to make sure I’m not dead. My obesity is my own fault. It was the result of years of bad choices and silent suffering. A few people tried to reach out and help over the years but I turned them down. I wish I hadn’t. Your coworker is trying to help. They made a mistake. By your own admission they couldn’t have known about your pregnancy. Please don’t discourage people from trying to help others. A simple sincere note like that could be the life-line that saves someone’s life.

    May 11, 2010 at 10:04 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   oi bang

      I am hideous and I have enrolled in a very costly plastic surgery program. Doctor checks on me daily to make sure that I wear my mask everyday so people are not killed by looking at me. It’s my own fault. It was result of years of bad choices and silent suffering. A few people tried to reach out and help over but I turned them down. I wish I hadn’t, so many lives could have been saved. Sam is trying to help. Please don’t discourage him. a sincere note like that can save hundreds of people.

      May 11, 2010 at 10:10 pm   rating: 74  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Please...

      A sincere note is a signed note. Put down the fork and get a clue.

      May 11, 2010 at 10:22 pm   rating: 124  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Nack

      I’m all for someone reaching out to help, but this letter is not ‘help’. It’s someone butting in to a situation they are completely unaware of, needlessly, because of their own disgust. That isn’t healthy for them, or for the person who received this note, even if it was meant in the best intentions. As they say, the road to Hell is paved in them.

      Besides, ‘help’ only works if the person receiving WANTS help. As you admitted yourself, you ignored help, and likely, if she had been merely fat instead of pregnant, she would have as well, and only been hurt by it all. (And likely was, because body image during pregnancy is something delicate anyway, bravo to the receiver for keeping her chin up!)

      The note writer was wrong. A friend saying this is okay, some total anonymous stranger, not okay, and likely would do more damage than good.

      May 12, 2010 at 12:38 am   rating: 115  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Blogmella bang

      Sam… That note could also spark off a massive self-hating eating binge.

      May 12, 2010 at 5:36 am   rating: 54  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   Kate

      “Please don’t discourage people from trying to help others. A simple sincere note like that could be the life-line that saves someone’s life.”

      I will always discourage people from trying to “help” an adult who weighs 110 lbs in that way.

      Even if the recipient was overweight by any medical definition, it’s still out of line. What would a note have done? FAT PEOPLE KNOW THEY’RE FAT. I used to be obese and I was aware of it EVERY waking moment.

      And when “well-meaning” assholes did try to get me to lose weight, it was never for my health. It was “so I could get a nice boyfriend.” Most strangers aren’t concerned about overweight people’s longevity, they’re concerned about having to look at them. Weight is, unfortunately, a far more loaded subject than just a health matter, especially for women – even 110-pound women.

      May 12, 2010 at 6:51 am   rating: 153  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.6   G bang

      Gee, Sam, why did you turn down the help people offered you over the years? Was it because it was patronizing, personal, and interfering the way this effort was? Well meaning or not, this note should never have left the pen of the writer.

      Your intentions don’t matter; what you accomplish DOES.

      May 12, 2010 at 7:30 am   rating: 67  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.7   Canthz_B bang

      It always tickles me when people confuse “thin” with “healthy” and “youthful look” with “longevity”.

      Keep drinking the Kool-Aid. It’s good for the economy.

      May 12, 2010 at 8:56 am   rating: 56  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.8   HandyMarigolds

      Sam, props to you for getting the help you needed, but our friend here is 4’11″ and 110 pounds — and she’s weighing in for TWO. She ostensibly doesn’t LOOK like a 45 BMI, and she doesn’t need that kind of “help.”

      Anonymous Notewriter is obviously neither sincerely concerned NOR confident enough in his/her fitness to sign the note.

      May 12, 2010 at 2:15 pm   rating: 57  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.9   Foxy J bang

      15.2 – A sincere note is a signed note.

      Yes, ideally by your doctor, not the office busybody.

      May 13, 2010 at 6:58 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.10   EE

      Actually, your weight is very likely NOT your fault. Weight is largely genetic, they same way height and eye color are genetic. Everybody has a set point (or range) and can’t stay outside of it on either end for a prolonged period of time. I recommend picking up books like “Health at Every Size” by Dr. Linda Bacon (all jokes about her name have already been done) instead of spreading your self-hatred around.

      Living your life is not a “mistake.” Most fat people have eating habits that are incredibly similar to thin and middle-of-the-road weight people. The only difference is their body set point.

      Oh, and the kicker? Your weight program will probably work short-term, but, like 90% of people who lose weight, you’ll gain it back. And then some, because studies have shown that dieting actually RAISES your set point.

      If shame made people thin, there wouldn’t be a fat person left. Because every day we are confronted with shame. The world wants to hate us under the guise of “helping.” Luckily there are many of us who look at that shame, tell it to fuck off, and go back to our healthy, happy lives, no matter what size we are.

      May 13, 2010 at 9:53 pm   rating: 50  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.11   Betch

      Um, no. People don’t just magically get fat because of genetics. Yes, it may affect their predisposition to weight gain, energy, health, etc., many factors that do affect one’s body, but not the actual amount of weight itself. If you’re having trouble losing the weight, and have no idea how or why you gained it, you should be seeing a doctor to figure out what’s going on. Otherwise, it’s probably a classic case of ingesting too many damn calories and not doing enough exercise/not varying the exercise routine enough to burn them off.

      May 14, 2010 at 7:15 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.12   mystic_eye

      Genetics alone can’t explain the rapid change in average weight in recent times

      May 16, 2010 at 10:49 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.13   VZG

      …fifteen pounds isn’t any place to start worrying, and “help” in any form — even polite notes — is more likely to irritate or depress than actually help. Help expressed with this much thinly-disguised disgust will probably do both. I’m a fatty myself, and only when motivated by my own self have I lost any weight. (Also, when I sunk into a particularly bad depression.) No amount of being judged by other people, even if they claim it’s for “health” reasons (hint: it usually isn’t) ever motivated me to change, it just motivated me to stay away from them.

      May 17, 2010 at 3:28 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   gladystopia

    Also, sincere notes generally do not require smiley-faces to take the edge off their sanctimony and disingenuous message of “I REALLY! Care! About! You!”

    Well, okay, MY sincere notes do. But most people’s don’t.

    (edited to add: gigglebrax fail duly noted; I will be under my bed with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. (Or possibly a lot of Benadryl and a guy named Jerry….depends what I find in the freezer.))

    May 11, 2010 at 11:21 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   AuntyBron

      You have a guy named Jerry in your freezer? Okay ***moving to other side of the street***

      May 12, 2010 at 12:10 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   gladystopia

      It’s okay; he’s my ex.

      He likes it there.

      May 12, 2010 at 5:35 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   bored at work

      Wow. That’s puts new meaning to having a frigid ex!!!!

      May 12, 2010 at 9:52 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   infant tyrone bang

      If you have roommates, would you please send in some of the more interesting “fridge PAN’s” you have received since putting your ex on ice ?

      I worked in a cold storage + fish freezing plant once with an old guy named Jerry Ickle (we called him “Pops”) whom we used to occasionally find in the freezers the next morning, but he was a Romilar habitué with serious memory problems…any relation to your guy ?

      May 12, 2010 at 9:55 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   Bored at work as well..

      it, you’re too much ;D

      May 12, 2010 at 10:44 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   gladystopia

      Oh, honey, my roommates don’t leave PANs.

      They COLLECT PANs.

      No, I’m serious–one of my former roomies saved every single PA roomie-note I ever scribbled–including the one I attached to “how to remove urine from carpeting” after he drunkenly miscalculated the location of the toilet by a distance of two entire rooms.

      And that’s not even Jerry from the freezer.

      We won’t talk about what HE did.

      May 12, 2010 at 5:42 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Rossy

    While I don’t believe that the note-writer in this case is exactly the brightest bulb on the tree, one thing I do have to say in their defense is this: If “big” people are all like “FU! I’m proud to be big! nom nom nom.” …then why do they get so easily offended if someone says something about it, no matter how the person says it? I mean it looks to me like this person was honestly trying to be helpful in their own naive, little-blue-note-writing way. This is nothing like those horrible notes we’ve seen from people’s mothers, etc. Whatever. (shrug)

    May 12, 2010 at 12:42 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   a-Arialist

      Apart from someone with a BMI of 22 (like the notewriter, and that’s after her 15lb gain) is not even remotely big in the first place! So the notewriter is calling a slim person fat, just because they happen to be less slim than they were.

      May 12, 2010 at 2:34 am   rating: 52  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   G bang

      If you had red hair and were proud of your red hair, would you be offended by people leaving anonymous, patronizing notes about how to “deal with” your red hair?

      If you had…

      Eh, fuck it.

      May 12, 2010 at 7:32 am   rating: 58  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Sauce

      I’ve found the people who get the most “offended” at being told they’re fat are the ones who are at most 20 lb over; those larger tend to be quite aware, and though some do get offended and/or hurt, many– like me– would just look at you in amusement and say something along the lines of, “Thank you, Captain Obvious. Now, did you have important business, or did you just feel the need to flex your powers of observation?”

      No, the note-writer is likely one of what many well-adjusted fatties have come to know as the “concern trolls”. People who hide their disgust for fat people behind a facade of concern for their health.

      May 12, 2010 at 11:40 am   rating: 76  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   VZG

      Most fat people aren’t “proud” of the way they look and never claim to be. Many of them try to be happy, though, with the way they are, because long-term changing is very difficult and easier to accomplish when you aren’t feeling like shit already. Or maybe they don’t want to change, because losing any significant amount of weight includes adjustments that would be more detrimental to their happiness than being fat is.

      And more importantly, there are very few people who just “bring up” being overweight who aren’t doctors (though even many of those can’t manage not being patronizing about it) or overweight themselves. Most of the time when it is “brought up” it’s unnecessarily. I mean oh, no, I HADN’T noticed that I’m fifty pounds overweight, thank you for telling me! Gosh, if someone hadn’t pointed it out, I would never have noticed how big my thighs and stomach are!

      May 17, 2010 at 3:36 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Speaking Up

      Or you know, the ones that can’t actually ever lose the weight because of a slew of medical reasons and are sick and tired of nearly everyone assuming that their weight is due to them being lazy and eating around the clock (and possibly the clock too).

      *touchy subject for this particular 24-year-old female*

      I’ve been trying to lose weight since I was 5. I have never been happy with my size. I was bullied about my weight through primary and high school. I have been severely depressed since age 15. In the last three years I haven’t wanted to go out in public because I’m so aware of my weight and how people will look at me and judge me without even knowing whether or not I can help how I am.

      I would have reported this note to management for harassment. Let my boss find out who it was.

      May 21, 2010 at 1:21 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   TippingCows

    I’d carefully monitor my fellow employees and eventually announce my pregnancy employee by employee. You’ll tell by their reaction who the person was. When you get the reaction you are waiting for, tell them, “Yes, that’s why I didn’t join Weight Watchers – it’s not recommended for pregnant women.”

    Then take a picture while the expression lasts.

    May 12, 2010 at 12:46 am   rating: 42  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Kore

    I hate it when people start out with “Don’t take this the wrong way” or “Don’t get mad, but”. It’s like saying “I’m going to say something offensive, but you’re not allowed to get upset because I announced it in advance.”

    May 12, 2010 at 1:31 am   rating: 124  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Oveta

      The southern version is to say something offensive followed by “bless your heart”. That phrase makes everything a-okay!

      May 12, 2010 at 11:10 am   rating: 43  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   VZG

      “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I hate your goddamn ugly face.”

      May 17, 2010 at 3:39 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Canthz_B bang

    This sort of thing happens wherever the Reverend Sun Myung Moon opens a new Weight Watchers cell chapter.

    May 12, 2010 at 1:57 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Canthz_B bang

    Employees like her put taco stands right out of business.

    May 12, 2010 at 2:03 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   aelwyn

    Wow, the note-writer sure will be embarrassed in 4 months time.

    May 12, 2010 at 4:03 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   a*p

    I’m on team “go to the WW meeting and announce pregnancy” but I’m also pondering if reporting the note to HR would be overkill. Yes it would.

    By no means should someone 110 pounds be accused of needing WW. I’m a great deal more than that, but I’d still be offended to get an anonymous note like that.

    May 12, 2010 at 7:09 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Max Time bang

    well I think I’d just go there to be like pissed at her and be like “why are you so mean” and like then you just steal her car and like do whatever chicks do when their depressed

    May 12, 2010 at 8:38 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Party in my pants

    A 110 pounder at a WW meeting could be a problem… they will eat her or beat her up.

    Take the note and your ultrasound photo and post them on a bulletin board…MYOB.

    May 12, 2010 at 8:49 am   rating: 67  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   ISpy

      Hell yeah! Fight PA with PA.

      May 12, 2010 at 8:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   HandyMarigolds

      Heh! I wonder how many “points” a small-boned pregnant woman would be in WW?

      May 13, 2010 at 9:35 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Sam S

    I would find out who wrote the note and respond with the following:

    “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but your ‘concern’ for my health is merely a projection of your own self-loathing. And you have good reason. You’re fat, you’ re ugly, your taste in clothes is horrible, and your perfume smells like bug spray. And your problems are not only visual. You are also a completely useless fuckbucket and a black hole of productivity in this office. I don’t know why the boss keeps you – unless you’re blowing him. If so, I would give him the “mountain climbing” advice – DON’T LOOK DOWN! Anyhoo, I just wanted to send you this note. Please don’t take it the wrong way.

    May 12, 2010 at 9:30 am   rating: 44  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   The Elf

    Am I the only one puzzled by the fact that this weight cited is 110 and the note referenced later (“I am beautiful….”) cites 115? I’m thinking that under 120 the new under 160. Sign me up!

    May 12, 2010 at 10:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   se

      If you are 4’11″ or near and weigh anywhere near 160 lbs, you should sign up for weight watchers.

      May 12, 2010 at 6:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   EE

      NO.

      May 13, 2010 at 9:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Xenobiologista

      Well, no to Weight Watchers per se, but yes to trying to be healthier, because 160lbs at that height is well in the “obese” range.

      May 17, 2010 at 6:22 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   VM

    Looks to me the note is driven by the misplaced fervor of the converted (“I lost 20 pounds that way!”) than hypercriticism. And it was maybe the rapidity of weight gain she’s reacting to – and extrapolating where it might lead – than the 15 pounds per se. STILL obnoxious x 2, but I think it deserves the PA silk lash more than the STFU bomb. Go to the meeting, just poke your head in and say cheerily “Hi! Heard about you guys from a note someone left me, just wanted to check where you were in case I’ll need help losing the baby weight after my delivery! Bye!”

    May 12, 2010 at 10:49 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   HandyMarigolds

      OK, STFU bomb is overkill, granted. But a mere PA silk lash might not reinforce the message.

      I’m thinking the “Nerf Bat of DUH” is a happy medium.

      May 13, 2010 at 9:44 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   spanpris

    I admit that when I seem someone who appears to be unhealthily overweight(ie they have trouble even walking) I do feel genuine concern for their health and sad for what they must go through just to perform what most of us would consider to be routine tasks. But I also realize that these same folks probably could care less what I think and would be down right offended by my pity.

    It doesn’t matter if I’m concerned for a perfect stranger/coworker/etc. If I’m not close enough to the person concerned to have a discussion with them face to face to express my concern than I have no business writing them a note.

    May 12, 2010 at 11:19 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Other Becky

      spanpris: When you see someone fat who has trouble walking, why do you automatically assume that particular causation? Why not assume the weight is due to a disability that makes exercise painful or even impossible?

      May 12, 2010 at 12:08 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   oi bang

      Other becky if you are looking to be offended then there is really no shortage of reasons. NEWS flash: Nobody cares that much about you except for your mother. spanpris can assume whatever he wants, point is he is not going all out and calling them out for it (with genuine concern or not.) and there are really some people who have trouble walking indeed due to their weight. My great aunt was one of them.

      May 12, 2010 at 12:30 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   ashmeadow

      Other becky, I think spanpris says that he will be concerned for their health. Last I checked, disabilities were a problem of health.

      May 12, 2010 at 5:19 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Edwina the Defrocked Nun

    I’d rename myself “Sanctimonious Fuckbucket” but I comment from work and I don’t want that coming up as my regular log-in.

    There are some sanctimonious fuckbuckets in my workplace and I’m afraid they would think I was impersonating them.

    May 12, 2010 at 12:13 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   abby

    this woman deserves a high five for being five months pregnant and remembering that people learn how to do that shit in fifth grade – it’s not that uncommon.
    she also probably deserves some sort of baked good.

    May 12, 2010 at 2:30 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   from a good weight watcher

    That chick must be a shitty weight watcher, cause, it’s my first week and even i know they dont’ take pregnant ladies.

    May 12, 2010 at 2:43 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   Xenobiologista

      I learned a while ago about a condition nicknamed “pregorexia” where women are so freaked out by the idea that they’re gaining weight, even though it’s due to the fact that they’re carrying and later feeding a child they WANT, that they starve themselves. That is truly frightening vanity.

      May 17, 2010 at 6:35 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   aaa bang

    So, how little do you have to have going on in your life to actually take notice of somebody’s weight gain and give enough of a shit to write an anonymous note?

    May 12, 2010 at 3:05 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Cordelia

    No way is this note writer trying to reach out and help. She is just a nosy busybody who needs to get a life. (And probably gained those 20 pounds by eating some pregnant woman’s daily dose of calcium rich yogurt from the office fridge. ;) ) Even at 4’11″ 15 pounds is not a weight crisis that demands a passive-aggressive post-it intervention. For her sake, I just hope the pregnant woman is married or the note writer is going to start leaving post-its about eharmony and adoption agencies.

    May 12, 2010 at 8:54 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Toya

    It’s amazing how nosy some people can be. If I were the person who got this note, I would go to the meeting, and when the “leader” asked me what were my goals were for joining the group, I would just announce “Uh, actually I’m not here to lose weight. That would actually be bad for me and my baby. I just came to say that whoever gave me this note is wrong for their nosiness.” And then I’d walk out. Course where I work, everyone knows everyone’s handwriting so if that did happen to me, I would have addressed the issue rather quickly.

    Personally it’s refreshing to have a woman not wanting to blab to the entire company (although it does prevent this scenario). I work with one woman right now who can only talk about what’s going on what her belly. She uses her pregnancy as an excuse (imo) to get out of work. I’m so happy that she’s going on maternity leave in a couple weeks.

    May 12, 2010 at 10:01 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   RP

    This note is harassment.

    The note writer is deliberately being nasty because the OP gained weight due to a pregnancy and she should take this note to HR. Doesn’t matter that the note writer doesn’t know she’s pregnant. What matters is that the OP will regret not getting an official record of this asshatery if & when the note writer decides to step it up a notch.

    Not everyone gets embarrassed into silence. Some people just blame you for it and start harassing you more.

    May 13, 2010 at 2:31 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   Stacey

    Ah-hah-hah-hah! What is it with people in the Bay Area? When I was working there I happened to lose weight — maybe about 10 or 15 lbs that I actually did need to lose — and I had a colleague actually ask me if I had an “eating disorder.” WTF? Then when I said no he told other people he was “worried about” me and my weight. I just laughed at him but man, it was weird and I remember it to this day. Some people have nothing better to do than study the size of other peoples’ butts, I guess.

    May 14, 2010 at 12:43 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   BurstingAtTheSeams

      Heh, I lost 50 pounds over the past year. Like you, it was weight that I needed to lose. I have a small frame and am now well within my ideal weight range, but MAN are my coworkers horrible. ‘You need to eat more food’ and ‘You’re getting way to thin’ and ‘Are you still trying to lose weight? What size do you wear anyways?’ Even my mom has asked me if I’m anorexic and still having my periods! (And yes, I really do fit into the ideal weight category for my height… everybody was just that used to me being chunky, I guess.)

      You’d think a former chubby chick would appreciate the “thin girl” comments, but they really hurt.

      Lesson learned – lay off the weight comments. Big girl and small girl comments both hurt =(

      May 18, 2010 at 2:16 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #38   Thebe

    All you people are hilarious. I’d put the note up at my desk, in plain sight. You’ll probably be telling people soon anyway. I love the suggestion to put a printout of the ultrasound next to it.

    May 18, 2010 at 10:47 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #39   ArmyOfAardvarks

    Whoever wrote that note is my hero. I hate fatties.

    May 20, 2010 at 8:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #40   Shannon

    That person is so retarded. Also WW doesn’t allow pregnant women cause you’re SUPPOSED to eat. But I think this person needs to break work dress code and wear a “baby in the oven” sort of shirt.

    May 20, 2010 at 8:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #41   This is what it looks like when your 7-year-old daughter decides to stage an intervention. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Please don’t take this the wrong way, pregnant lady, but have you considered Weight Watchers? [...]

    Sep 22, 2010 at 9:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #42   Funniest (not necessarily passive-aggressive) notes of 2010 | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Dear pregnant lady: Have you tried Weight Watchers? [...]

    Dec 31, 2010 at 6:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #43   FUPA Faux Pas | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] related: Please don’t take this the wrong way, but mind your own damn business. [...]

    Sep 8, 2011 at 8:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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