Why don’t you go park your car in Harvard Yard?

May 12th, 2010 · 85 comments

Our submitter in Amherst, Massachusetts was heading to class at UMass one day when she saw no fewer than twelve of these signs posted throughout the hallways and doors of her apartment building.  “My neighbors had a fun time responding with comments all over them,” she says, at least for the day and half before they got taken down.

I think my favorite part of this one is the handwritten notes at the bottom. One neighbor suggests, “Perhaps you should talk to the people in this building instead of making them think you’re mean, dramatic and cowardly,” and the writer, pouty-faced, responds, “Well I have said this before and nobody listens.” (Unwritten response: “Boo-FUCKING-hoo. Sounds like somebody needs to get laid.” )

Do you see a fucking sign outside that says free parking?!!!! Get your freaking girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, crack dealer, etc. to go park somewhere else!!!! Just because you copulate on a regular basis doesn't mean they are entitled to make this their own personal free parking lot. I dish out over $500 fucking dollars a month to live here and so it is total and utter bullshit when I come back from campus at 3:15 in the fucking morning after a long ass day of work and I have to go find someplace else to park my car so I don't have to get a fucking ticket. If you are not paying rent here, go find some other fucking place to park your fucking car!

related: When parking gets political

FILED UNDER: bold underlined italics · car · exclamation-point happy!!!! · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · jealous much? · Massachusetts · neighbors · parking · rebuttals


85 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Jonathan

    That moment of disturb was fucking delicious.

    (first!)

    May 12, 2010 at 7:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   ClearlyDemented

    And next week on Pulp Non-Fiction…

    May 12, 2010 at 7:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Gretchen

    Sounds like a grand argument for personal parking spaces. $500 per month is far too much to spend on a chance to park in an unspecified space in a lot. Hell, $0 is too much, for that matter.

    May 12, 2010 at 7:41 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Ivana

      It sounds like they are paying $500 in rent (“I pay… to live here”) rather than for the parking spot. So it seems parking is free there – so it’s a free for ALL!

      May 13, 2010 at 8:03 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      This guy seems pretty fixated on the idea of other people having sex.

      May 13, 2010 at 6:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Kimmypie

    $500 a month? Are you shitting me? I’ve NEVER paid less than $100o a month. Not anywhere that was worth living anyway. Maybe that’s your problem?
    Also, crack dealers who DELIVER? Most people have to go to their dealers…how do you guys get special treatment up in Boston?

    May 12, 2010 at 7:43 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Kate

      Seriously. $500 with even occasional parking included is a serious bargain. Unless the note writer is sharing a two-bedroom with three people, and the place was the best bargain in the entire Commonwealth, and he has to work until 3:15 to earn enough money for his share of the rent, AND he is unable to find a job with better pay/hours, I have zero sympathy.

      May 12, 2010 at 9:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   jordan

      depends where you live. i’m in urbana il, and paying 500/mo and that’s on the more expensive side. i’ve had friends pay 3-400 a month.

      May 12, 2010 at 9:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   TippingCows

      Amherst isn’t even near Boston. So no, they don’t get the special deals the Bostonians do. (The kids going to Harvard get it delivered on a silver platter, those bastards).

      May 12, 2010 at 10:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   dj ottershop

      My guess is $500 is the price of living in one of the dorms at UMass. And yes, you usually room with at least one other person. The dorms are surrounded by a small amount of parking spaces, and once those fill up, you have to drive some distance across (the rather large) campus to park your car in one of the lots or garages.

      May 13, 2010 at 8:41 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   famine

      Or the rent is divided by however many people. An apartment (a pretty basic one)could easily go for $1,000 – $1,500 ’round these parts, so only paying $500 always means you have at least one roommate.

      May 13, 2010 at 6:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   bobbaloops

    yhah

    May 12, 2010 at 7:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   YYC

    If the parking is assigned, then call a tow truck. Otherwise, grow up. Paying 500 “fucking” dollars a month in rent doesn’t entitle you to much more than an assurance they’ll try and avoid storing corpses in your parking stall.

    May 12, 2010 at 7:46 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Woman on the Verge bang

    Where can I see a fucking sign? How cool would that be?

    May 12, 2010 at 7:46 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   farcical aquatic ceremony

      I read it the same way…

      But, forget the sign–where do I sign up for my “$500 fucking dollars a month”??? It’s been a long winter, some fuckbucks would hit the spotifyaknowwhatimsayin…

      May 12, 2010 at 8:31 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      And fucking morning can earn you a fucking ticket if you do it in a fucking car. Talk about starting the morning right!

      May 13, 2010 at 7:40 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Mace Elaine

      I’d pay good money to see a Yield sign give it good to a Stop.

      May 13, 2010 at 1:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   mamason bang

      “Blah blah, FUCKING SIGN… blah blah blah blah blah blah $500 FUCKING DOLLARS… blah blah blah FUCKING MORNING… blah blah blah blah blah FUCKING TICKET… blah blah FUCKING PLACE… blah blah… FUCKING CAR.

      I’ve been looking for a new FUCKING PLACE. Except for the FUCKING TICKET, this place sounds great!

      May 13, 2010 at 6:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   jd

    if you dont get the anger, you never lived in Massachusetts.

    May 12, 2010 at 7:51 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   AuntyBron

      Or, apparently, laid…

      May 12, 2010 at 11:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Fanboy Wife

    I hate when I can’t find a parking space too, so I started renting a garage. Yes, it’s an extra $35 a month, but at least I have somewhere to park every night.

    May 12, 2010 at 7:52 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   FeRD bang

      Excellent plan — private garaging is absolutely the answer. I mean, the math is a no-brainer… you’d be a fool not to.

      Monthly fee for a space in a private parking garage, downtown Boston, when I lived there from 1998-2001: $270 – $330 (roughly)

      …I’m sure it’s gone down. These things always do.

      And, of course, Amherst could be as cheap as… what? Half the Boston rate? It’s like stealing, but without the Catholic guilt!

      May 13, 2010 at 12:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Ivana

      Try “I’m sure it has gone UP” – when I was job hunting, parking garages STARTED at $240+/month – without guarantee that you will get a spot, and sure as shit not an ASSIGNED one.
      Boston parking’s a bitch.

      May 13, 2010 at 8:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Kitty

      Private parking garages don’t really happen in Amherst.

      May 13, 2010 at 4:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   famine

      There was that one space that sold for $300,000 last year. . .Yikes!

      May 13, 2010 at 7:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   Betch

      Lol Ivana. Someone doesn’t understand obvious sarcasm.

      May 14, 2010 at 6:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   boop de woop

    Just get a frakking roo bar and shove them out of the way. Maybe cover it in insulation so you won’t get bills for damages.

    May 12, 2010 at 7:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   ISpy

      This comment has me all confused. Roo bars aren’t standard issue in my neck of the woods. Are we talking kangaroos? Is this some kind of Australian snack food that gives you super powers?

      May 12, 2010 at 8:23 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Maas

      If it is a snack food, then I’m pretty sure wrapping it in insulation is going to be the worst way to avoid damages…

      May 12, 2010 at 9:57 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   a-Arialist

      I think they’re called bull bars in the US – you know, those whacking great big steel bars on the front of pick-ups?

      May 13, 2010 at 2:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Canthz_B bang

      Roo bars are hopping good eats in the Outback.

      May 13, 2010 at 3:19 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Splint Chesthair

      Damn, I came here to say that. I’ve got the ARB Bull Bar on the front of my jeep. The bar weighs about 75 pounds. When I lived in an apartment complex with assigned parking, many people found their cars in the medical clinic parking lot that bordered ours.

      May 13, 2010 at 6:28 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   The Leen

    If it’s not assigned parking, then fuck him. Take some daytime classes, asshole. Get all your friends to park in all the spaces every night. Jerk.

    May 12, 2010 at 7:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Pete

      Seriously? Language and angst aside, I totally get what he’s saying. It’s rude to take up multiple spots and leave the folks living there with no spaces. I’ve been there, sucks.

      But I had to pay a hell of a lot more than $500 a month. He’s either living with 6 other people, or that’s the cheapest apartment in MA.

      May 12, 2010 at 9:32 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Kitty

      Nah, it’s the going rate for a fraction of a multi-part apartment around here (half a 2-bed, a third of a 3-bed, and so on.)

      May 13, 2010 at 4:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   ISpy

    I love that after the initial choice of the word fucking, he went with freaking, then copulate, and then just couldn’t stand it anymore and used fucking for the rest of the note. And people…what about his font choice? Where are we on that?

    May 12, 2010 at 8:16 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Maas

      How’s this:
      Your font is silly, it’s like I’m being ranted at by the United Federation of Planets. And italicized profanity? What are we, European? Sooo, I see you’ve underlined random words, Oooh, aren’t we fancy now. Your choice of Bold is anything but. And words that are larger than their kin, my oh my you must be serious. Ahhh…. Redundant punctuation, because when you have nothing to say, why not say it a few times?

      May 12, 2010 at 10:08 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   ISpy

      Well played, Maas. Love the Star Trek reference.

      May 12, 2010 at 11:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Canthz_B bang

      Damn it, Jim! I’m a lover, not a parking attendant!!

      May 13, 2010 at 2:06 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   VM

      After the third paragraph it’s fuck the thesaurus, man. Though I’d like to think that he’s so addicted to using “fucking” as an intensifier that he can no longer conceive of it actually meaning anything, so he’s compelled to go all latinate on us when referring to the act. Especially if the girl’s super-freaking, yeah!

      Fourth paragraph pro tip — if you gotta go with a type size increase mid paragraph, specify a fixed line spacing. Auto leading’s gonna make a fool out of you.

      May 13, 2010 at 2:11 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   ISpy

      Consider how wonderful the world would be if anyone who wants to type a PAN is required to have a graphic arts background. Uh, now that I typed that, I think not. What would we do without clip-art smileys? And Comic Sans? Never mind. As you were.

      May 13, 2010 at 8:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.6   ashmeadow

      The fonts come out at night…

      May 13, 2010 at 8:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Dirk

    He pays for living there, not for parking there …

    May 12, 2010 at 8:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   suzanne

    yeah cause why would you wanna park where you fucking live? That’s just fucking crazy!

    May 12, 2010 at 9:13 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Escape Goat

    The use of “freaking” prior to the list is completely random: “Freaking girlfriend, boyfriend ….” I think the font size grows a bit, for a moment.

    In every other instance he uses a variation of “fuck.” Seems as if Captain Fuckety-Fuck-Fuck wanted to show a little respect for the visitors … for that brief fraction of a second.

    May 12, 2010 at 9:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   TippingCows

    I kind of get what he is saying. Unfortunately, if people were rude enough to take up the residents’ parking spaces before, they’re going to do it gleefully after seeing that note.

    You catch more flies with honey, buster … (and money, and promises of whores and better, cheaper crack).

    May 12, 2010 at 10:44 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Canthz_B bang

    Writing this note and posting at least a dozen copies was a huge waist of time given that 3:15 in the fucking morning is the perfect time to let the air out of someones tires.

    May 12, 2010 at 11:13 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   a-Arialist

      Oh I dunno – running around at 3.15am distributing notes might help to reduce the waist, don’t you think?

      May 13, 2010 at 2:41 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Canthz_B bang

      Damn! I was just about to fix that but got fucking busy…too late!! :lol:
      You got a plus from me for catching the misspelling.

      Can’t put one past you! ;-)

      May 13, 2010 at 2:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Ivana

      You had it right – it’s a waste of time; waist = body part.

      May 13, 2010 at 8:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Canthz_B bang

      Ivana, I had “waist” there for about 3 hours but back-edited.

      I’ll change it back so a-Arialist’s joke makes sense again…I wouldn’t do that for a-Comic Sanser! ;-)

      May 13, 2010 at 8:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Ivana

      LOL got it! I was like “uh – why is she correcthing herself when it was right?!”

      May 13, 2010 at 2:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   oi

      She is actually he. Don’t worry, that has happened before. several times.
      uh CB you gotta to explain this to me.

      May 13, 2010 at 2:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   Ivana

      Well FML! LOL

      May 13, 2010 at 3:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   Max Time bang

      well oi I don’t think she is a he I think she is ROBOT bent on destroying the system as we know it

      May 17, 2010 at 8:41 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.9   Canthz_B bang

      That’s OK, Max Time.
      You are being monitored constantly by my subprocessors, and will be dealt with if you are ever deemed to be a threat to my program.

      Current projection is that there is a 1.068 chance of that.
      BTW, I know it’s you, Dave. ;-)

      May 17, 2010 at 8:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.10   Max Time bang

      :o oh noez its already happening!

      May 17, 2010 at 8:50 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.11   Canthz_B bang

      No, you’re just noticing it for the first time.

      You’re doing well with the bed-wetting thing…keep up the good work.

      I’ll be watching you!

      May 17, 2010 at 8:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.12   Max Time bang

      oh thats not me wetting the bed ;)

      May 17, 2010 at 9:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.13   Canthz_B bang

      Sorry to hear that, maybe if you got some?

      May 17, 2010 at 9:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Nack

    500 bucks and it’s not assigned parking?

    I think I’d be ranting at management instead of at my fellow neighbors. Loud, in person, and completely aggressive. Especially to -get- assigned parking so I can call a tow-truck and forget it ever happened.

    May 12, 2010 at 11:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   jadefirefly

      For 500 a month, he’d be told where he could stuff his assigned parking. That’s one hell of a good rate for Amherst. He either lives in a ghetto, and likely his neighbors would never miss him if his landlord got pissed, or he shares a place with several other people, in which case there’s probably not enough parking for the people who legitimately live in the building anyhow.

      May 13, 2010 at 1:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Ivana

      500 bucks in RENT, not parking spot. If it’s open parking, he ain’t got no one to bitch at.

      May 13, 2010 at 8:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    “A long ass day at work” kinda makes you wonder what line of work the note-writer is in.
    We already have an idea it involves “night work”.

    No stranger to a “fucking” either.

    May 13, 2010 at 1:53 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Canthz_B bang

    Wait…if he has to find somewhere else to park so he doesn’t get a ticket, does that mean he would be parked illegally if he used his usual space?

    Thank Goodness for small favors!!

    May 13, 2010 at 3:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Kou

    Fuckin’ A, remind me never to live anywhere you have to pay ANYTHING to park in front of your own domicile. wtf

    May 13, 2010 at 4:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   snatchbeast

    ohmygod, $500 for an apt anywhere in MA is pretty sweet… so fuck you

    May 13, 2010 at 4:56 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Splint Chesthair

    See the problem with this note is the appeal to his specific ordeal like he or she is special and therefore deserves a break. Look at how much I pay! Look at how hard I work! Look at how late I work! It’s as if no one else there pays, or works hard or late.

    Best bet is to be objective about notes like these, “Hey guys, if you’re going to have guests stay the night it would be nice if they could find alternative parking leaving the private lot open for residents. Thank you.”

    Life sucks, there’s not much you can do about it more than that other than try to get the owner to paint numbers in the spaces.

    May 13, 2010 at 6:34 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   FoxtrotAlpha

    This makes no sense, this guy is obviously losing his mind over the parking situation. Is it so hard to ask for management to provide a windshield sticker to rent-paying tenants? Those without the sticker could then be towed at owner’s expense. Done and done. *slap hands* Apparently I’m a rocket scientist.

    May 13, 2010 at 7:21 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Canthz_B bang

      Korolev? Is that you, Comrade?

      May 13, 2010 at 8:24 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Max Time bang

    well i think whoever wrote that horribly horiffic frickin crazy outrageous side note underneath this nice gentleman’s note deserves some horrible breakfast from sonic

    May 13, 2010 at 8:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Max Time bang

    Just avoid drinking vodka with your grandma, then stealing and wearing her panties and getting a massive hangover the next day, you obviously weren’t in your parking spot.

    May 13, 2010 at 8:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   HandyMarigolds

    Anybody else notice the 180-degree tone change between the hostile note and the “*sniffle, sniffle* Nobody listens!” reply to the calm, rational rebuttal?

    It’s kind of sweet, actually. Tough guy on the outside, softie on the inside. You just know NW goes to seedy dive bars, gets into brawls, and then rescues kittens on the way home.

    May 13, 2010 at 10:00 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   gladystopia

      Well, he’s clearly got the spare time; obviously copulation is not on his personal agenda, thus the jealousy.

      Personally, I go to dive bars with kittens. Saves half the time and provides quadruple the pointy ends.

      May 15, 2010 at 7:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   maggie

    i don’t see how he knows that the people parked there aren’t other residents of the building.

    May 13, 2010 at 10:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Splint Chesthair

      Because it’s a problem at any building, people have their friends, boyfriends, girlfriends sleepover. Used to happen at mine and how could I tell? Well, for one, you get to know the cars that are always there and for two, there was always enough parking during the week but Friday and Saturday night all the spots are magically taken.

      May 13, 2010 at 2:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   Ryan

    The only passive-aggressive notes I’ve ever left are when some douche takes my parking spot at my apartment building. I pull in real tight behind them and leave a note: “When you need to leave, call ###-#### and I’ll let you out of MY SPACE.”

    The frequency of parkers in my spot has decreased dramatically.

    May 13, 2010 at 12:34 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   ISpy

      Brilliant, Ryan. But do we need to review the rules about what makes it “your” space? Is there a plastic lawn chair or a garbage can involved?

      May 13, 2010 at 8:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Gilly

    I’ve been there. Whilst my first impulse was to do some damage to the offending car (e.g. keying/denting panels, letting down tyres, etc.), I quickly realised that the owner wouldn’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out who did it -they’d just wait until I’d parked in my rightful spot and exercise some retribution. Swiftly. Parking in behind the car isn’t necessarily an option either (often you then block other people). A makeshift wheel clamp (i.e. a heavy chain and lock) with a note on the windshield advising the offending fucktard of your new and inventive security measure worked well for me. But you might want to bring a baseball bat for when you are called to unlock it. Just because they drive a hatchback doesn’t mean they won’t kick your ass.

    May 13, 2010 at 8:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Betch

    I can understand his frustration: I hate having to park in a lot far away from my apartment building after going grocery shopping or coming home from the night shift at work, because my neighbors are having a party. However, I suck it up and walk the extra five minutes. Complaining will only make me look like a fool, and I also have friends over once in a while, and I’m sure they have fucked up the parking situation every now and then. If you’re bitching about people taking up parking because they have guests over, then you don’t have a social life.

    (Though I suppose I’d be a bit more sympathetic if it were people parking there that didn’t live there and were staying every night; that’s actually a violation of the rent agreement.)

    May 14, 2010 at 6:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Cathy Butler

    DEAR UPSET FUCKING CAR PARKER:

    I apologize profusely! You are right; I admit that I did not see a Fucking Sign. But you must admit (and in my own defense) neither was there a Fucking Sign that said ‘Parking Only for Disher Outers of Fucking Dollars’. And in my experience ALL parking spots are by nature Fucking Places to park.

    Again, you are right! When I pulled in at 3:14 in the Fucking Morning I did not see a Fucking Sign by the parking spot that said ‘A Fucking Place to Park’. I have learned my lesson: not all places to park are Fucking Places to Park!

    Perhaps when you do not have a Long Ass Day of Work you could show me these Other Fucking Places to park my Fucking Car so that I too can avoid Fucking Tickets. At the same time we could discuss Total And Utter Bullshit, although I am not sure whether Total And Utter Bullshit encompasses ALL Fucking Dollars, Fucking Tickets, Fucking Cars, Fucking Mornings, Fucking Places, Fucking Signs, or just those experienced in your own Long Ass Days ONLY.

    My conscience demands that I come completely clean. I am a Freaking Girlfriend of a Freaking Boyfriend AND a Freaking Lover of a Freaking Boyfriend (yes, I was once a simple-minded Freaking Etcetera, but an intuitive character remodel helped me move on to being a fine and productive Freaking).

    A brief aside, please, purely out of curiosity and for my own edification. I noticed that things, places, and times are FUCKING, but males, females, copulaters, criminals, and etceteras are FREAKING. Is this differentiation merely a personal usage to add whimsy or is it a strict matter of grammar similar to there, their, and they’re? Also, is FREAKING always a larger font than surrounding text? Also, should BULLSHIT always be underlined? Also, I understand the usage of 4 exclamations (exclamation quantity adds weight to the Fuckings and Freakings!!!!) but I am unfamiliar with using a question mark preceding those 4 exclamations?!!!! Would this not make it questionable intensity? Or should this be read as an aggressive inquiry?

    Anyway . . .

    Maybe, subconsciously, I have begun to think that my Regular Basis Copulation with my Freaking Boyfriend makes me entitled. But never would I think that Regular Basis Copulation would entitle me to my own personal free parking lot. Seriously! An entire parking lot!

    Changes must be made on my part.

    Understandably, I will not reduce my Regular Basis Copulation with my Freaking Boyfriend, but will reconsider the appropriate scope of my entitlement.

    SINCERELY,

    A Fucking Car Owner and Regular Basis Copulater Needing a Fucking Place with a Fucking Sign to Park in in the Fucking Morning (Except a Fucking Place with no Fucking Sign Used by Disher Outers of Fucking Dollars) to Avoid Fucking Tickets

    P.S. For your own reference or so that you can narrow down the identities of all Freaking Etceteras, Freaking Crack Dealers don’t usually PARK in Fucking Places to park. As a rule Freaking Crack Dealers’ customers GO TO the Freaking Crack Dealer. I believe this is so that both Freakings can quickly drive away, probably so that they can avoid Fucking Tickets. After all, who does like a Fucking Ticket?

    P.P.S Did you know that COPULATE really means ‘join’ or ‘together’? In that case, would you like to copulate with us this coming Saturday? It may help you to relax and remove whatever it is you have up your ass.

    P.P.P.S. I assume that your using the word ‘campus’ means that you are engaged in acquiring your education. It may be presumptuous of me to point this out to you, but there are so many more tenses and uses of Fuck beyond merely Fucking. If I may: FUCKER, FUCKED, FUCKS, FUCK YOU, FUCK ME, GO FUCK YOURSELF, MOTHERFUCKER, FUCK IT, FUCK OFF, WHAT THE FUCK, FUCKIN’ A, FUCK ALL Y’ALL, JESUS FUCKIN’ CHRIST, ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY, YO’ MAMA.

    May 16, 2010 at 6:19 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   VZG

    I am curious as to where there ARE signs that advertise free parking. I mean, I know Boston is bad, but if I recall correctly it was a lack of sign that indicated free parking, which seems to be the case at their place. If the parking is not, in fact, free, perhaps a sign should be erected.

    …hee, erected.

    In any case, she might have had more success if she posted one note in the parking lot addressed to visitors instead of the residents. Sure, they could ask ahead for their visitors to park elsewhere, but they aren’t ultimately in control of what they do, and even if the neighbors are unsympathetic, visitors may feel more obliged to be polite.

    Or they might just say “fuck it” like they probably would have anyway.

    May 17, 2010 at 3:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Steve

    So, KC in Washington, D.C. has a blog, which her mother reads and finds “somewhat amusing, to an extent.” Not everything KC writes meets with Mom’s approval, however.
    “She never lectures me,” KC says. “Instead, she post-it notes her grievances and puts them in places I have no other choice but to look at” — a Kix [...]

    May 27, 2010 at 9:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   kurtschwitters

    there has been a rash of this in my condo building (where parking spaces cost $40K each. someone left nice notes in the lobby asking people to stop using her space. first time the BMW SUV parked in my space i had the idiot towed. she and her sadsack boyfriend arrived during the tow but said nothing, just left in his monster truck that he uses for his brutal 2 mile commute on city streets. she continues to do this to other people, i hope they all have her towed, the tow company is ruthless, careless and expensive. having her towed was much more satisfying than leaving notes.

    Jun 10, 2010 at 3:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   This note is like one of those asinine beer commercials come to life | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Why don’t you go park your car in Harvard Yard? [...]

    Jun 30, 2010 at 9:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

Comments are Closed