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Feel free to apologize

May 16th, 2010 · 39 comments

“I found this posted on every vertical object within a block radius around Adam’s Point in Oakland,” says submitter JasonP. (I particularly enjoy point #4 of the response.)

Just a point of advice - If you're going to vandalize someone's building, don't be stupid enough to put the same logo on your vehicle and park it 4 blocks away 4 days later. Now I have your license plate number. Enjoy speaking with the cops.   1. I DID NOT

Meanwhile, a set of neighbors in Vancouver, B.C. were tussling over a similar case of mistaken identity.

Feel free to apologise

related: I’m not creepy, in fact…I’m quite gay.

extra credit: “But he was dressed like a ‘gang person,’ you guys!”

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · graffiti · mistaken identity · neighbors · noise · Oakland · Oops? · rebuttals · Vancouver · vandalism

39 responses so far ↓

  • #1   El Jefe

    Does ‘vandalize’ really need a set of quotes? It sounds like they’re asking the complainant to consider the artistic merits of the defacement. Where’s the picture?

    May 16, 2010 at 10:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #2   Enso

    I’m for Team Perps in this case

    May 16, 2010 at 11:07 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #3   AuntyBron

    Note #1 – Nice that he spelled-checked “apologize”.

    May 16, 2010 at 11:29 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Mace Elaine

      He also left his name and number, which is pretty NON-passive aggressive. Kudos to him.

      May 17, 2010 at 12:30 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   laura

      That IS how they spell “apologize” in Canada and the UK, for that matter…same with “neighbour”…

      May 17, 2010 at 1:29 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   Ise

      Yeah, except Aunty was referring to the first note, not the second. Y’know, where he crossed out his misspelling and rewrote it correctly above.

      May 17, 2010 at 2:10 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   DensityDuck

      Yes, I love how the guy writing an angry note thinks that it’s important to spell the words properly, but NOT so important as to just WRITE ANOTHER NOTE.

      May 17, 2010 at 5:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #3.5   El Jefe

      It’s too bad you didn’t spell-check your own note, Aunty.

      It’s difficult to tell exactly how ‘APOLOGIZE’ was misspelt, but I can clearly make out a ‘Z’ in the ‘APOL??ZE.’

      May 18, 2010 at 9:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #3.6   AuntyBron

      Well, I didn’t say that I spell-checked, did I?

      May 18, 2010 at 10:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #4   Sheri


    May 17, 2010 at 12:03 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #5   infant tyrone bang

    If dude is SMASHING A HAMMER, ask if you can help…
    give notice maybe…but don’t get cute with a PAN…
    you could end up as a serving of Dahmer Carpaccio…

    May 17, 2010 at 1:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    I wasn’t smashing a hammer at 12:15am and 4:10am. I was hammering a smashed woman I picked up at a sleazy bar.
    Don’t come knocking at my door at 4:15am when you hear my headboard rhythmically drumming against the wall.
    Have some consideration…at least wait your turn.

    May 17, 2010 at 2:45 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

  • #7   Mrs. Rochester

    To Anonymous!

    May 17, 2010 at 5:34 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Canthz_B bang

      Oh, Rochester!
      *face palm*

      May 17, 2010 at 8:14 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Max Time bang

      Oh, Canthz B!
      *slams door and leaves*

      May 17, 2010 at 8:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   Escape Goat

      Ew! Max Time,
      *ball kick*

      May 17, 2010 at 7:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #8   Party in my pants

    Me thinks he doth protest too much!

    May 17, 2010 at 6:53 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Escape Goat

      How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable
      Seem to me all the [accusations] of this world.

      Soft, I merely fancy the logo.

      May 17, 2010 at 7:57 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #9   Woman on the Verge bang

    Just a point of advice-
    If you’re going to walk the neighborhood looking for evidence of wrongdoing, pull the stick out of your ass first.

    May 17, 2010 at 7:49 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Escape Goat

      CSI: Cranky Pants

      May 17, 2010 at 8:00 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    They liked the way their car was defaced and decided to keep it?

    Kudos to their neighborhood Kilroy…but Dude, invest in some proper art supplies and find a sponsor.

    Cars and buildings are hard to hang on museum walls.

    May 17, 2010 at 8:12 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Blogmella bang

      If somebody snaps off his wing-mirror, he might like that too and snap the other one off! I envy this guy, he finds beauty in everything.

      May 17, 2010 at 11:25 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #11   Max Time bang

    well is anyone else curious what the logo looks like anyways?

    May 17, 2010 at 8:31 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      Pink penises?

      May 17, 2010 at 9:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   OneEyeAskew

      It was probably an OBEY sticker with an abstracted design based on the face of Andre the Giant. Sometimes they have the word OBEY, sometimes just the face. The guy who tags them is really famous, he’s been doing the same one in many sizes in major cities across the planet for ten years and has done over one million of them. I am sure you have seen them yourself, they are really quite ubiquitous.

      May 17, 2010 at 10:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   LordOfThePants

      Shepard Fairey, designer of the Obama “HOPE” poster…?

      May 17, 2010 at 12:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   Mo® bang

      Another hipster ironic Che knock off, Chairman Meow?
      Must be a really nice vehicle.

      May 17, 2010 at 1:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   Escape Goat

      C’mon … you know it was a penis with tear drops near the tip. There were four tick marks delineating public hair, to0.

      May 17, 2010 at 8:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #12   Sam S

    Speaking for myself, if I had a hammer I’d hammer in the morning, I’d hammer in the evening – all over this apartment building.

    May 17, 2010 at 12:02 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

  • #13   farcical aquatic ceremony

    I like how precise the blue marker accuser is with his times: not “midnight and 4 a.m.” but “12:15 am + 4:10 am”, as though to differentiate the ‘hammer smashing’ from, say, the pogo-sticking at 12:05 a.m. or Canthz B’s rhythmic banging, which lasted, what, from 4:12 to 4:14 a.m., C.B.?

    May 17, 2010 at 12:03 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Canthz_B bang

      I’m a very efficient, results oriented person, fac. ;-)

      May 17, 2010 at 10:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #14   oi bang

    Graphiti is a from artistic expression. Nobody should be offended here.

    May 17, 2010 at 12:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   FeRD bang

      Absolutely! The Italian art of tiny graphs, or “graphiti“, has a rich history that can be traced all the way back to 16th Century Naples.

      It was in that noble city, working from her dank, poorly-lit corner of a sprawling bordello, that local “signora of ill repute” Lottie Vasta Caverna practiced her craft. A meticulous whore, Lottie make it her life’s work to keep detailed records on the critical… measurements… of her many, many not-so-gentleman callers.

      During a particularly chaste summer, while on administrative leave as she recuperated from a nasty bout of pneumatic knee syndrome, she began to experiment with various techniques to illustrate her vast stores of data. The drawings she produced are now understood to be rudimentary examples of the discipline that has come to be known as “Data Visualization”.

      Each no larger than the discolored, lifeless fingernail it was painted upon, they provide a striking pictorial summary of her activities during a given month, quickly impressing upon the viewer both the Signora’s level of activity, and the degree to which her partners were able to meet her ever-deepening ever-gaping ever-inflaming …her needs.

      May 17, 2010 at 1:06 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #15   mamason bang

    Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself.
    Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself.
    You say I`ve been tagging other people’s cars
    You must be talking about someone else.

    I smashed my hammer `bout three or four nights ago.
    I smashed my hammer`bout three or four nights ago.
    Your mama said, `Son, Don`t you smash your hammer no more.

    Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself.
    Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself.
    You say I’ve been tagging other people’s cars
    You must be talking about someone else.

    Come on back home, baby; try my hammer one more time.
    Come on back home, baby; try my hammer one more time.
    You`ve been gone away so long, I’m just about to lose my mind.

    May 17, 2010 at 1:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Mo® bang

      I just heard this recorded with a harmonica break and I liked it a lot Mama. :grin:

      May 17, 2010 at 1:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   jaywalke

      All harmonicas sound better broken.

      May 17, 2010 at 2:17 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #15.3   Mo® bang

      I thought that only applied to accordions.

      May 17, 2010 at 2:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #15.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      Accordian to who? (lame pun of the day)

      May 17, 2010 at 2:38 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #16   Toya

    I had a similar incident like these two back when I lived in a dorm. Odds are the anonymous writers had some sort of bias against the person they were accusing to begin with so when the incident came up, they automatically blamed the innocent party instead of thinking rationally. It’s rationale like theirs that causes innocent people to do jail time.

    And I’m sure that once they were corrected about their accusations, they didn’t have the guts to apoloqize. Course why would they? They didn’t have the spine to call the person out directly so why would they bother to apologize (even anonymously) either?

    May 17, 2010 at 7:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up


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