So, these two crazy kids (both of whom still live with their parents, according to our submitter), had a lil’ accident. A really exciting one! So exciting they decided the best way to share the news was en masse, via Facebook status update! So be excited for them, dammit!!!
![[Redacted] and her amazing and wonderful boyfriend and best friend and going to be parents! This is a huge surprise but were [sic] very excited! Taking bets on the gender! .... I am really disappointed that hardly any of my friends congratulated me or wished me well. Thanks alot [sic] you jerks!](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2779/4475004950_757197f77f.jpg "[Redacted] and her amazing and wonderful boyfriend and best friend and going to be parents! This is a huge surprise but were [sic] very excited! Taking bets on the gender! .... I am really disappointed that hardly any of my friends congratulated me or wished me well. Thanks alot [sic] you jerks!")
related: Children are such a blessing.
Thanks for not buying me the Diaper Genie I registered for!!!
96 responses so far ↓
#1
"Like"
Maybe because Facebook doesn’t have a button for sending condolences
May 20, 2010 at 8:14 pm rating: 73
#2
mamason
Why’s she so happy that her boyfriend and her best friend are having a baby? I’d be kind of pissed.
May 20, 2010 at 8:19 pm rating: 156
#3
amy d
I understand hitting the like button when you want to show appreciation but don’t care enough to type out actual words, but an announcement of this magnitude certainly deserves even the most paltry “Congrats!” at the very least.
May 20, 2010 at 8:21 pm rating: 9
#4
Rossy
When are people going to learn that between Farmville and people conspiring to kill Obama, most status messages simply don’t get read anymore unless they are really attention-grabbing. An all-caps “WOO I’M OFFICIALLY TURNING MY PARENTS INTO GRANDPARENTS BEFORE I MOVE OUT” would’ve gotten much more play.
May 20, 2010 at 8:23 pm rating: 65
#5
Shannon
How does her best friend become a parent, too?
May 20, 2010 at 8:24 pm rating: 0
#6
chase
Why would they be excited for you and you best friend of 4 months? You totally ruined their plans for going as the cast from Sound of Music for Halloween.
May 20, 2010 at 8:27 pm rating: 3
#7
crumplet
Her, boyfriend, best friend, parents together? Wow this is Farmville.
May 20, 2010 at 8:33 pm rating: 12
#8
It's not a question of where he grips it!
I don’t know why she’s mad at her friends for not congratulating her: her ‘I’m preggo’ announcement said that she and her boyfriend “were” very excited. Her friends concluded that congrats were no longer in order.
May 20, 2010 at 9:07 pm rating: 37
#9
park rose
Bets are being taken on the possible gender, not the sex, of the unborn baby.
From WHO:
What categories am I offered all ye punters? Dumb Blonde? NASCAR boil-necked gangly pimply redneck dude? What else have you got? Is compulsive facebook use viewed as a feminine or masculine attribute? Or both? Positive or negative or neutral?
May 20, 2010 at 9:42 pm rating: 22
#10
oi
Congratulations for being dumb and getting knocked up. There. Now don’t complain that nobody congratulated you, ok?
May 20, 2010 at 10:56 pm rating: 58
#11
Blogmella
Wow, let’s hope the kid doesn’t throw tantrums like Mummy does.
May 21, 2010 at 2:32 am rating: 14
#12
Grant
Mood swings. Classic sign of pregnancy.
May 21, 2010 at 3:22 am rating: 3
#13
Miri
They were very excited? What, they aren’t any more?
May 21, 2010 at 5:52 am rating: 2
#14
Splint Chesthair
I don’t understand kids today (I know, I know) but when I turned 16, I couldn’t wait to start putting together some money and get my own place and make my own rules and my parents were awesome and pretty lenient about letting me do what I want.
May 21, 2010 at 7:01 am rating: 2
#15
ClearlyDemented
Maybe her friends, like myself, see glaring grammatical errors and must immediately look away before leaving grammar-nazi-like comments.
TRUE STORY: I just spelled grammatical wrong; I’ve got to stop visiting Facebook.
May 21, 2010 at 8:36 am rating: 15
#16
PhishGirl
Yeah, you got knocked up. Yippee.
May 21, 2010 at 8:46 am rating: 6
#17
ClearlyDemented
I can just see her first night home from the hospital.
1:00 a.m.
I gave you life and you won’t even shut up for ten minutes?
3:00 a.m.
You knocked me up and you won’t even change this thing’s diaper?
5:00 a.m.
I wonder what the return policy is…
7:00 a.m. Facebook post
My baby’s an asshole and it’s all your fault, friends.
May 21, 2010 at 9:06 am rating: 42
#18
aaa
I can’t congratulate you. I’m too busy mourning the fact that you weren’t forcibly sterilized.
May 21, 2010 at 9:09 am rating: 21
#19
Tiqqer
I can’t believe the comprehension skills of the people reading that post. Thinking that it’s her boyfriend and best friend having the baby when it’s actually the person posting and her boyfriend, who happens to be her best friend, that are having the baby.
May 21, 2010 at 9:29 am rating: 0
#20
Ivana
Could be that the congratulations were a bit stalled due to the fact that she posted this status at 1:00AM?!
May 21, 2010 at 9:39 am rating: 12
#21
duh
tiqqer and see2020…omg, like duh, I hadn’t thought of that!!
May 21, 2010 at 10:26 am rating: 6
#22
infanttyrone
At 01:12 yesterday it was all about the “we” thing.
11 minutes ago it was I=1, my=1, and me=2.
If the math held steady, by sometime tonight or tomorrow it’d be “lights out, nobody home”, never to be heard again.
Damn! As the Algebra I kids say, “F.O.I.L.-ed again.”
May 21, 2010 at 11:43 am rating: 3
#23
Wrench
Usually it’s a SAD thing when kids are brought into the world by irresponsible parents who can’t even be bothered to make a commitment to each other before bringing another human being into the mix. “Congratulations, your reproductive organs aren’t defective and your kid has a statistically increased chance of dropping out of school, being sexually promiscuous and being involved in a crime! Here, have a cookie!”
May 21, 2010 at 12:10 pm rating: 26
#24
Sarah
But statistically, children of young, unwed parents are sexually active earlier, have more sexual partners, are more likely to be involved in crime, are less likely to finish high school and graduate from college, consume over 5 times as much in federal and state resources, score lower on standardized tests, and are less likely to get highly-paid careers.
@Wrench, what’s your point about being sexually active earlier and having sexual partners? Why are you framing this as a negative along with not finishing high school and being more involved in crime? Having sex in a way that doesn’t correspond to the way you personally choose to is not a crime, nor should it be shameful. If there wasn’t such a shroud of shame around pre-marital/teenage sex, and there were more resources to these teens to prevent pregnancy (and of course, disease), then the problem of the unplanned children born to these teenagers wouldn’t be as much of a problem. Framing these things as wrong makes people afraid to ask about them, thus making the issue you bring up even worse. So stop slut-shaming, okay? It’s none of your business. (And no, I’m not getting butthurt. I waited until I was in college to have sex and I’m a fan of monogamous relationships. Still doesn’t mean I have the right to dictate someone else’s sex life to them.)
May 21, 2010 at 3:06 pm rating: 15
#25
meethinks
Wow, your failed contraceptive attempt is Facebook Official! Congrats on the Lil’ Zygote!
May 21, 2010 at 3:20 pm rating: 11
#26
Blogmella
If her boyfriend is her best friend, it isn’t going to last – the whole idea lacks passion.
May 21, 2010 at 3:57 pm rating: 4
#27
WTFISWRONGWITHPPL
AWE COME ON..ITS NOT LIKE PREGNANCY DOESN’T HAPPEN EVERYDAY…BUT THE CHANCE OF WINNING A BET AT SOMEONES EXPENSE DOESN’T HAPPEN ALL THE TIME…ITS POP CULTURE…IM SURE YOU UNDERSTAND….FRIENDSHIP HAS NOTHIN’ TO DO WITH IT. ..HELL ID PLACE A BET ON HOW LONG THEY STAY TOGETHER AFTER THE KIDS BORN…
May 21, 2010 at 11:25 pm rating: 1
#28
Melissa B
woah 5 friends “liking” something? she should be happy. I had to say I was leaving the country to get 5 likes…
May 22, 2010 at 10:26 am rating: 15
#29
anon
at least she’ll have a new person to add to her mob! (wow, does anyone even play that mob game anymore?)
May 22, 2010 at 6:48 pm rating: 0
#30
Banksy
<9 months before this chick appears on STFU, Parents…
May 22, 2010 at 10:10 pm rating: 8
#31
Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)
Dear pregnant girl: None of your friends responded because they’re already starting to ditch you lest they have to suffer your soon-to-be-born child, who will doubtlessly have mastered whining at an early age, due to his or her excellent role model.
May 23, 2010 at 7:11 pm rating: 6
#32
Denny DelVecchio
At least we were left out of a play-by-play of the conception.
May 23, 2010 at 9:52 pm rating: 3
#33
M
My gosh, you’d think she wanted a ticker-tape parade.
You know, I always want to strangle those girls 0n “16 and Pregnant.” They don’t seem to really understand that they have–pardon my language–fucked up their lives beyond all hope of repair by a) getting knocked up in the first place and b) going on MTV to (ostensibly) show how being a teen mom is bad.
Jun 4, 2010 at 9:00 am rating: 0
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