Because you’re not really knocked up ’til it’s validated by Web 2.0

May 20th, 2010 · 96 comments

So, these two crazy kids (both of whom still live with their parents, according to our submitter), had a lil’ accident. A really exciting one! So exciting they decided the best way to share the news was en masse, via Facebook status update! So be excited for them, dammit!!!

[Redacted] and her amazing and wonderful boyfriend and best friend and going to be parents! This is a huge surprise but were [sic] very excited! Taking bets on the gender! .... I am really disappointed that hardly any of my friends congratulated me or wished me well. Thanks alot [sic] you jerks!

related: Children are such a blessing.

Thanks for not buying me the Diaper Genie I registered for!!!

FILED UNDER: alot · Facebook · frenemies · preggers · spelling and grammar police


96 responses so far ↓

  • #1   "Like"

    Maybe because Facebook doesn’t have a button for sending condolences

    May 20, 2010 at 8:14 pm   rating: 85  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   amy d bang

      But iphone does have an app for that.

      May 20, 2010 at 8:22 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   mamason bang

    Why’s she so happy that her boyfriend and her best friend are having a baby? I’d be kind of pissed.

    May 20, 2010 at 8:19 pm   rating: 175  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   the Librarian

      I thought all three of them were having a baby together…she AND her boyfriend AND her best friend.

      May 20, 2010 at 11:46 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      Oh, mama, how I love you so…

      May 21, 2010 at 7:19 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   The Elf

      I was thinking that this was a threesome too. I had to wonder exactly who is pregnant and who is the father and how did the author get roped into all this? Or maybe she’s pregnant and isn’t sure who is the father because she had her boyfriend and her best friend on the same night, so she’s hedging her bets? Ah, young lust.

      May 21, 2010 at 11:29 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Ali

      It took me forever to get what she meant….that herself and her wonderful. amazing boyfriend, who is her best friend, are having a baby together.

      Bad grammar can definitely ruin the punch.

      May 21, 2010 at 11:46 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Mace Elaine

      No, it was a FOURsome. Her amazing boyfriend, her wonderful boyfriend, and her best friend.

      I can’t wait for all of them to be on Maury.

      May 24, 2010 at 2:47 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   amy d bang

    I understand hitting the like button when you want to show appreciation but don’t care enough to type out actual words, but an announcement of this magnitude certainly deserves even the most paltry “Congrats!” at the very least.

    May 20, 2010 at 8:21 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Jonathan

      Ah, no. It deserves gifts of grapefruit spoons and coat hangers.

      May 20, 2010 at 8:25 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   anglophile bang

      I think I would have worded my response something like, “Wow, that’s really unexpected! I can see you’re excited!” and hope my gratuitous exclamation points cover for the fact that I am not at all excited for her. She seems like the type that wouldn’t pick up too keenly on subtext.

      May 20, 2010 at 8:55 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Nack

      I would think ‘Congrats’ could be given, if, these two wonderful people, did the thing of ‘such magnitude’ the way it’s supposed to be done. In person.

      Deaths, Births and Weddings, all should be announced in person, and then by a pretty card. No where does it say ‘Facebook’.

      May 20, 2010 at 11:11 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   mamason bang

      Nack,
      When I was growing up, my grandmother was offended if we called her instead of writing. Emails, instead of letters or a phone call, until recently, were a bit questionable. I understand that once upon a time, folks had to rub two sticks together in order to make fire. My point? Times, they are a-changin’. Keep up, lest you ‘re left behind. Facebook is the 21st century’s pony express!

      May 20, 2010 at 11:34 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Rossy

    When are people going to learn that between Farmville and people conspiring to kill Obama, most status messages simply don’t get read anymore unless they are really attention-grabbing. An all-caps “WOO I’M OFFICIALLY TURNING MY PARENTS INTO GRANDPARENTS BEFORE I MOVE OUT” would’ve gotten much more play.

    May 20, 2010 at 8:23 pm   rating: 68  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Shannon

    How does her best friend become a parent, too?

    May 20, 2010 at 8:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   infanttyrone

      Probably by taking *contraceptive tips* from the boyfriend.

      *not to be confused with reservoir tips

      May 20, 2010 at 9:18 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   see2020

      She’s saying her boyfriend IS her best friend.

      May 20, 2010 at 9:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   park rose bang

      Thanks for the clarification, see2020. Apt name.

      May 20, 2010 at 9:48 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   HappyNat

      hmmmmm, I still don’t get it. Can you spell it out a little slower, see2020?

      May 21, 2010 at 7:29 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   chase

    Why would they be excited for you and you best friend of 4 months? You totally ruined their plans for going as the cast from Sound of Music for Halloween.

    May 20, 2010 at 8:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   crumplet

    Her, boyfriend, best friend, parents together? Wow this is Farmville.

    May 20, 2010 at 8:33 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Mo® bang

      He also happens to be her brother!
      Strike up the banjo band, hooray! Durned tootin’ why this little filly is finally going to be shootin outta her cooter the spawn of her brother’s mongie sperm. Yeeeehaw why we should be celebratin around the ceement pond!

      May 21, 2010 at 10:52 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Ana

      Hi i just wanted to let u know that you and your new family r blessed by.GOD & Jesus!!! i am saying prayers for u and your BEAUTIFUL FAMILY!!! STAY positive, you r bringing a precious BABY into the world Now U shall wear your HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE!!!!
      GOD BLESS YOU &BABY AND TO HER OR HIS DADDY

      May 25, 2010 at 12:53 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      Hah, classic, Ana!!

      May 25, 2010 at 10:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   It's not a question of where he grips it!

    I don’t know why she’s mad at her friends for not congratulating her: her ‘I’m preggo’ announcement said that she and her boyfriend “were” very excited. Her friends concluded that congrats were no longer in order.

    May 20, 2010 at 9:07 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   sleeps

      Maybe they ‘were’ very excited they got a last minute appointment at the clinic?

      May 20, 2010 at 11:36 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   park rose bang

    Bets are being taken on the possible gender, not the sex, of the unborn baby.
    From WHO:

    “Male” and “female” are sex categories, while “masculine” and “feminine” are gender categories.

    Aspects of sex will not vary substantially between different human societies, while aspects of gender may vary greatly.

    What categories am I offered all ye punters? Dumb Blonde? NASCAR boil-necked gangly pimply redneck dude? What else have you got? Is compulsive facebook use viewed as a feminine or masculine attribute? Or both? Positive or negative or neutral?

    “Gender” refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviours, activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women.

    May 20, 2010 at 9:42 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   ISpy

      I’m going with “perpetually pissed off kid living in the grandparent’s basement with underage, underemployed parents who watch reality TV all day and who even now, decline to use adequate birth control because, damn, welfare is a good deal.”

      May 20, 2010 at 10:16 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   sleeps

      I think you give the ‘parents’ way too much credit if you think they’re: a. staying together for any significant length of time beyond the gestational period or 2. going to spend any time at all with the kid, even in front of the TV. Junior will be calling grandma ‘mommy’ faster than you can say mandatory sterilization.

      May 20, 2010 at 11:40 pm   rating: 52  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   mamason bang

      Sleeps,
      That is precisely why I refuse to babysit my grandchildren. I’m not the mama.

      Rose,
      I have to think that compulsive Facebooking is a sign of superior intelligence. I have to think that because I compulsively Facebook. It doesn’t matter what I initially began working on with the computer, I always wind up on Facebook. As a matter of fact… brb. Maybe.

      May 20, 2010 at 11:40 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   The Elf

      Perhaps they were going for the Luca Brasi type of gender usage. “And may their first child be a masculine child.”

      Or maybe they thought that their friends would be confused by the use of “sex” in their status update and suggest positions used in the conception. “Any bets on the sex?” “Uh, missionary?”

      May 21, 2010 at 11:36 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   TippingCows

      Thanks for posting that so I didn’t have to, rose-alicious.

      May 21, 2010 at 10:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      Ahem.

      Masculine, feminine, neuter–
      I went for a ride on my scooter.

      I ran into the Queen and said,
      “I’m sorry, old bean,
      I forgot to ‘toot-toot’ on my ‘tooter’!”

      May 25, 2010 at 10:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   oi bang

    Congratulations for being dumb and getting knocked up. There. Now don’t complain that nobody congratulated you, ok?

    May 20, 2010 at 10:56 pm   rating: 61  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Blogmella bang

    Wow, let’s hope the kid doesn’t throw tantrums like Mummy does.

    May 21, 2010 at 2:32 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Grant

    Mood swings. Classic sign of pregnancy.

    May 21, 2010 at 3:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Miri

    They were very excited? What, they aren’t any more?

    May 21, 2010 at 5:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Splint Chesthair

    I don’t understand kids today (I know, I know) but when I turned 16, I couldn’t wait to start putting together some money and get my own place and make my own rules and my parents were awesome and pretty lenient about letting me do what I want.

    May 21, 2010 at 7:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      Their parents were apparently quite lenient as well.

      May 21, 2010 at 7:23 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Splint Chesthair

      Or maybe they’re so strict they don’t leave the kids alone long enough to engage contraceptive measures. Maybe along the lines of “You wear a skirt with no underwear and I’ll wear loose shorts and boxers. We’re going to need to time this perfectly.”

      Hmm, I just gave myself an idea for the weekend. That sounds hot.

      May 21, 2010 at 10:49 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   ClearlyDemented

    Maybe her friends, like myself, see glaring grammatical errors and must immediately look away before leaving grammar-nazi-like comments.

    TRUE STORY: I just spelled grammatical wrong; I’ve got to stop visiting Facebook.

    May 21, 2010 at 8:36 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   PhishGirl

    Yeah, you got knocked up. Yippee.

    May 21, 2010 at 8:46 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   ClearlyDemented

    I can just see her first night home from the hospital.

    1:00 a.m.

    I gave you life and you won’t even shut up for ten minutes?

    3:00 a.m.

    You knocked me up and you won’t even change this thing’s diaper?

    5:00 a.m.

    I wonder what the return policy is…

    7:00 a.m. Facebook post

    My baby’s an asshole and it’s all your fault, friends.

    May 21, 2010 at 9:06 am   rating: 47  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   aaa bang

    I can’t congratulate you. I’m too busy mourning the fact that you weren’t forcibly sterilized.

    May 21, 2010 at 9:09 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Mo® bang

      It isn’t too late to implement a “kick her in the gunt on sight” policy.
      Just saying.

      May 21, 2010 at 10:55 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Tiqqer

    I can’t believe the comprehension skills of the people reading that post. Thinking that it’s her boyfriend and best friend having the baby when it’s actually the person posting and her boyfriend, who happens to be her best friend, that are having the baby.

    May 21, 2010 at 9:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      We get it. You apparently, do not understand our incredibly sarcastic and sardonic wit.

      May 21, 2010 at 9:32 am   rating: 42  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   aaa bang

      I feel the fun slowing down…

      May 21, 2010 at 10:00 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      Well DO something aaa! Earn that exclamation point!

      May 21, 2010 at 10:33 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Mo® bang

      I went to the Derek Zoolander school for peoples that can’t reads so good.
      I get it… huh?

      May 21, 2010 at 10:57 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   infanttyrone

      Too bad Tigger wasn’t on hand up in Seattle
      to help Stacy with tile alignment and stuff.

      May 21, 2010 at 11:56 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Ivana

    Could be that the congratulations were a bit stalled due to the fact that she posted this status at 1:00AM?!

    May 21, 2010 at 9:39 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   duh

    tiqqer and see2020…omg, like duh, I hadn’t thought of that!!

    May 21, 2010 at 10:26 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   infanttyrone

    At 01:12 yesterday it was all about the “we” thing.

    11 minutes ago it was I=1, my=1, and me=2.

    If the math held steady, by sometime tonight or tomorrow it’d be “lights out, nobody home”, never to be heard again.

    Damn! As the Algebra I kids say, “F.O.I.L.-ed again.”

    May 21, 2010 at 11:43 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Wrench

    Usually it’s a SAD thing when kids are brought into the world by irresponsible parents who can’t even be bothered to make a commitment to each other before bringing another human being into the mix. “Congratulations, your reproductive organs aren’t defective and your kid has a statistically increased chance of dropping out of school, being sexually promiscuous and being involved in a crime! Here, have a cookie!”

    May 21, 2010 at 12:10 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   park rose bang

      I find Toni Morrison’s point of view worth considering:

      Q. And teenage pregnancies?

      A. Everybody’s grandmother was a teenager when they got pregnant. Whether they were 15 or 16, they ran a house, a farm, they went to work, they raised their children.

      Q. But everybody’s grandmother didn’t have the potential for living a different kind of life. These teenagers — 16, 15 — haven’t had time to find out if they have special abilities, talents. They’re babies having babies.

      A. The child’s not going to hurt them. Of course, it is absolutely time consuming. But who cares about the schedule? What is this business that you have to finish school at 18? They’re not babies. We have decided that puberty extends to what — 30? When do people stop being kids? The body is ready to have babies, that’s why they are in a passion to do it. Nature wants it done then, when the body can handle it, not after 40, when the income can handle it.

      Q. You don’t feel that these girls will never know whether they could have been teachers, or whatever?

      A. They can be teachers. They can be brain surgeons. We have to help them become brain surgeons. That’s my job. I want to take them all in my arms and say, ”Your baby is beautiful and so are you and, honey, you can do it. And when you want to be a brain surgeon, call me — I will take care of your baby.” That’s the attitude you have to have about human life. But we don’t want to pay for it.

      May 21, 2010 at 12:59 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Wrench

      I find Toni Morrison annoying, but that fact notwithstanding, her overly rosy view of the world flies in the face of documented fact. MOST children of unwed parents just don’t turn out well in life. Not all of them will become failures. Fuck, look at the President, his mom was a self-loathing single narcisist and he obviously was able to make a life for himself. But statistically, children of young, unwed parents are sexually active earlier, have more sexual partners, are more likely to be involved in crime, are less likely to finish high school and graduate from college, consume over 5 times as much in federal and state resources, score lower on standardized tests, and are less likely to get highly-paid careers. It’s a fact. Kids with happily married, mentally healthy, financially stable parents have a hard enough time in this culture without stacking the deck against them before the cord is even cut. Maybe she’s got the next Barack Obama growing in her uterus, but it’s not very likely. Sorry to rub anyone’s ass the wrong way and I hope the best for anyone’s kids, but numbers don’t lie.

      May 21, 2010 at 1:26 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   park rose bang

      I think she is saying it does not have to be like that, and it is not always like that. I have friends who have been single parents and/or unwed parents who have run successful businesses and who have brought up their children well. Who have completed university and who are putting their children through school. It was very tough, but they were able to do it.

      Sometimes, after the fact, there is not much else to do but get on with it. A little more support and a little less vilification might go a long way to improving everyone’s lives, though if the support is official, it can become a minefield for all involved to negotiate. Not everyone is honest. When money is involved, people’s attitudes harden.

      That interview is from 89, and I don’t think Morrison has a rosy view, I think she says that those with money who come from single parent families are not viewed as having made the wrong choices.

      She is saying that women can still have choices, especially if they have support, even if they have become pregnant.

      The latest Gil Scott Heron album sums it up pretty well. Because one comes from a single-parent family, or you are the result of a relationship in which the people were not married (though they may have been committed), which a lot of people do and are, does not mean your upbringing was dysfunctional. There are plenty of two-parent, legally-wed parents, dysfunctional families out there.

      Not everyone has to be Obama, Jack Nicholson, Tom Cruise, Norah Jones, Alicia Keys to be viewed as successful.

      Numbers could be interpreted and presented a different way. Different questions can be asked. Lies, damned lies, and statistics.

      May 21, 2010 at 1:57 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   ClearlyDemented

      Few questions:

      Can you be self-loathing and narcissistic at the same time?

      Did you hear these statistics whilst listening to Rush Limbaugh?

      Could it be that it’s the other way around, that people who can’t successfully bring up a child also have difficulty retaining successful relationships, and not that the absence of marriage, in and of itself, is the cause?

      May 21, 2010 at 3:58 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.5   Mike

      Rose, you make some interesting points. However, someone whose instincts are to post a nasty note on Facebook doesn’t strike me as someone who will beat the odds and raise a happy, well-adjusted child.

      May 21, 2010 at 8:56 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.6   TippingCows

      I’m with Mike.

      Something to think about (if you choose): Scoring well on tests, getting into good colleges (and graduating) and making lots of money doesn’t mean you are successful. People that can claim the above facts about themselves are also self-absorbed, lack common sense, cheat on their spouses, and raise their children with no set of values and baby them to death so they can act like spoiled brats all their lives.
      I mean, not all of them are like that but they’re just as capable of being shitty at raising kids as the other category – they just raise kids with different problems.

      May 21, 2010 at 10:25 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.7   TheOldSchool bang

      Mike and Tipping Cows,

      I post nasty shit on facebook all the time, and my kids are happy and well-adjusted.

      (Naturally, I am assuming that the status reports I receive about them from others are accurate, but I can’t see any reason why their assorted wardens and parole boards would choose to be less than truthful — unless, of course, that they’re hoping that I’ll be idiotic enough to believe them, and then volunteer to take them off of their hands. Fat fucking chance!)

      May 21, 2010 at 11:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.8   modernmoron

      Ironically, it was my mother who was raised by a married couple (an unhappy marriage which later dissolved) who became pregnant with me as a teen. Her boyfriend ditched her and the baby, she continued to do well in school anyway, well enough she was able to skip a grade and go to college a year yearly and got a couple associates degrees. I on the other hand, raised in a broken home, got my Master’s degree and have recently become pregnant at the youthful age of 27 with the only guy I’ve ever had sex with. And no, I don’t have a criminal record and neither does my mom, lol.

      May 22, 2010 at 6:43 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.9   modernmoron

      And I’d like to add, I’d agree with the commentor that pointed out the single-parent home or stuck-together but dysfunctional family is as much of a symptom as kids who turn out bad.

      May 22, 2010 at 6:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.10   TheOldSchool bang

      It’s quite telling, modern moron, that you conveniently left out the length of your boyfriend’s rap sheet.

      As for your comment in 23.9: how could a family who has been stuck together be anything but dysfunctional?

      May 23, 2010 at 12:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.11   Wrench

      Hey, again, I’m not saying that XY and Z are GOING to happen, merely that they’re more likely to. And like I said, being in a fully functional, intact home isn’t a guarantor of success in society, either. I’m from a nuclear family, my parents raised four kids, three fully-functioning military members and one druggie with two kids out of wedlock. (For the record, I’m in the Navy.)

      Secondly, anyone interested in statistics or studies on unwed parenthood can do their own research, as I’m perfectly capable of doing on my own. It’s one of the most well-researched aspects of modern American society and there’s no lack of information available out there. Sexually transmitted diseases and the treatment and history thereof is also well-documented, not by Rush Limbaugh (whom I haven’t listened to except when forced to) but by research branches like the Guttmacher institute and other various reproductive health researchers.

      May 23, 2010 at 8:13 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.12   anglophile bang

      zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

      May 23, 2010 at 8:24 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.13   Canthz_B bang

      I would respond to Wrench, but I’m too busy trying to figure out why I’m not dead, in prison, strung out on drugs, on welfare, suffering from STDs or stuck in a low-paying job.

      I also scored well above the national average on every standardized test I was ever given.

      Lies, damned lies and statistics.

      Of course, if I was going to be honest about it, I’d say that parents who raise four children and have three of them seek the enforced discipline of the military, and the fourth end up a junkie without it, haven’t done such a wonderful job of raising self-disciplined adults.

      May 23, 2010 at 9:47 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.14   much to my chagrin bang

      Does anyone else hate the word “wedlock?” It’s the kind of word that makes me glad to be living in sin with my boyfriend. My parents were divorced, by the way, something Statistics McWrenchington could have predicted for you.

      May 23, 2010 at 4:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.15   TippingCows

      I too was wondering how one could assume someone is fully-functional just because they joined the military.
      I know a lot of people that join in order to receive discipline and to BECOME (what they think is) functional.
      Besides, who the hell is FULLY functional?
      We all suck in our own way. It’s how we express our dysfunction that either endears people to us, throws us in jail, or makes us an outright bastard.

      May 23, 2010 at 7:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.16   modernmoron

      Ah, you’re right TheOldSchool, I did leave that out. My husband has no criminal record.

      May 25, 2010 at 7:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.17   modernmoron

      Blah, and I missed the second half. I meant that to distinguish between between other possibilities.

      May 25, 2010 at 10:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Sarah

    But statistically, children of young, unwed parents are sexually active earlier, have more sexual partners, are more likely to be involved in crime, are less likely to finish high school and graduate from college, consume over 5 times as much in federal and state resources, score lower on standardized tests, and are less likely to get highly-paid careers.

    @Wrench, what’s your point about being sexually active earlier and having sexual partners? Why are you framing this as a negative along with not finishing high school and being more involved in crime? Having sex in a way that doesn’t correspond to the way you personally choose to is not a crime, nor should it be shameful. If there wasn’t such a shroud of shame around pre-marital/teenage sex, and there were more resources to these teens to prevent pregnancy (and of course, disease), then the problem of the unplanned children born to these teenagers wouldn’t be as much of a problem. Framing these things as wrong makes people afraid to ask about them, thus making the issue you bring up even worse. So stop slut-shaming, okay? It’s none of your business. (And no, I’m not getting butthurt. I waited until I was in college to have sex and I’m a fan of monogamous relationships. Still doesn’t mean I have the right to dictate someone else’s sex life to them.)

    May 21, 2010 at 3:06 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Wrench

      Why do I frame it in a poor light? Because the younger a person is when they engage in sex, and the more sexual partners they have, regardless of sexual education or preventive measures, the more likely they are to get STDs and have unplanned pregnancies. It’s not like it’s Focus on the Family saying that, the fucking Guttmacher Institute, Planned Parenthood’s research branch, says the same thing. In general — again, all of these are generalizations and not definite predictors of outcomes — both of those factors play a large part in overall sexual and reproductive health. I’m not being judgmental here, just being honest. If people want to play Russian roulette with their genitals, that’s not my call to make for them and it’s not for me to judge the factors that make them choose that for themselves, and I sincerely hope that they DON’T experience a negative outcome for it — but I also know that in the real world, shit still stinks and no one benefits when we cover it up with Febreeze and pretend that there’s no smell anymore. It’s not about right or wrong, it’s about giving people the information necessary to make healthy choices for themselves and minimize their risks so that they can most fully enjoy their lives. You’re the one assigning values to facts, when there’s no value that should be attached to them. It’s not right or wrong, it’s simply information.

      May 21, 2010 at 9:15 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Canthz_B bang

      Statistics are funny things. Correlation should never be confused with cause and effect.

      There are probably as many unplanned pregnancies within marriage as to unmarried couples. Neither condition has any bearing on how well loved or cared for the child will be.

      There are a great many poorly raised children from well-to-do homes, and a great many well cared for and well loved children born to people living in poverty.

      Jun 19, 2010 at 6:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   meethinks

    Wow, your failed contraceptive attempt is Facebook Official! Congrats on the Lil’ Zygote!

    May 21, 2010 at 3:20 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Blogmella bang

    If her boyfriend is her best friend, it isn’t going to last – the whole idea lacks passion.

    May 21, 2010 at 3:57 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   ClearlyDemented

      You’ve got it all wrong, Blogmella; her boyfriend is having a kid with her best friend.

      May 21, 2010 at 4:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   Mo® bang

      I wonder if she will breast feed in public?

      May 21, 2010 at 4:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   anglophile

      I don’t see where you get that, Clearly Demented. If you would just take the time to read carefully, you would see that she’s saying her boyfriend is also her best friend. I don’t know why I always have to spell things out for you dumber people. Geeze!

      May 21, 2010 at 5:14 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.4   oi bang

      hey anglophile, if you read it carefully then you would know that her sentence is grammatically ambiguous. and why are you so pissed off about it anyway? oh i know because you are the status updater! changing name on internet is so clever!

      May 21, 2010 at 7:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.5   anglophile bang

      Hey oi, if you ever read anything carefully, you’d know that it’s impossible for me to be knocked up, due to being Pure As The Driven Snow. Get some reading comprehension skills, right?

      May 21, 2010 at 8:14 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   WTFISWRONGWITHPPL

    AWE COME ON..ITS NOT LIKE PREGNANCY DOESN’T HAPPEN EVERYDAY…BUT THE CHANCE OF WINNING A BET AT SOMEONES EXPENSE DOESN’T HAPPEN ALL THE TIME…ITS POP CULTURE…IM SURE YOU UNDERSTAND….FRIENDSHIP HAS NOTHIN’ TO DO WITH IT. ..HELL ID PLACE A BET ON HOW LONG THEY STAY TOGETHER AFTER THE KIDS BORN…

    May 21, 2010 at 11:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   catburglar

      Writing with all caps is definitely one of the things that is wrong with some people.

      May 21, 2010 at 11:55 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   WTFISWRONGWITHPPL bang

      Lol

      May 21, 2010 at 11:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   Wolverine Girl

      Aaargh! I’m now visually deaf from all the caps.

      May 23, 2010 at 4:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.4   Mace Elaine

      I’m also left confused by all the ellipses. Evidently this is one long run on sentence with confused breaks in it?

      Brain hurt.

      May 24, 2010 at 2:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Melissa B

    woah 5 friends “liking” something? she should be happy. I had to say I was leaving the country to get 5 likes…

    May 22, 2010 at 10:26 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   park rose bang

      The thumb count jumped into the realm of ecstasy (you know, 5+) when everyone found out I was leaving the country* ;)

      *Alright, alright, I admit I was run out of town . . .

      May 22, 2010 at 12:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   anon

    at least she’ll have a new person to add to her mob! (wow, does anyone even play that mob game anymore?)

    May 22, 2010 at 6:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   Banksy

    <9 months before this chick appears on STFU, Parents…

    May 22, 2010 at 10:10 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)

    Dear pregnant girl: None of your friends responded because they’re already starting to ditch you lest they have to suffer your soon-to-be-born child, who will doubtlessly have mastered whining at an early age, due to his or her excellent role model.

    May 23, 2010 at 7:11 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Denny DelVecchio

    At least we were left out of a play-by-play of the conception.

    May 23, 2010 at 9:52 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   The Elf

      Her, her best friend, and her boyfriend? I already know too much about the conception for my comfort.

      May 25, 2010 at 9:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   M

    My gosh, you’d think she wanted a ticker-tape parade.

    You know, I always want to strangle those girls 0n “16 and Pregnant.” They don’t seem to really understand that they have–pardon my language–fucked up their lives beyond all hope of repair by a) getting knocked up in the first place and b) going on MTV to (ostensibly) show how being a teen mom is bad.

    Jun 4, 2010 at 9:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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