Stupid is as stuiped does

May 26th, 2010 · 79 comments

CT and his friends were driving home from the beach when they stopped at a gas station in Luverne, Alabama and found this posted next to the men’s bathroom.

“The ‘Danger!’ sign below was apparently the first attempt to keep people from opening this door,” says CT. “God only knows what’s behind it. I’m assuming this door of unspeakable power continued to get opened, prompting the posting of the second sign.”

If you open this door your [sic] either can't read or your [sic] stuiped [sic].

Hey, I feel your pain, gas station attendant, having to deal with so much stupidity all day long. But — with the help of Rachael in Portland — I think I’ve found someone else who can relate.

Allow me to introduce Lily. She’s 8.

Today my stuiped [sic] MOM thought I spanked my STUIPED [sic] sister with a spoon. Then my mom was working and she told me to go to my room. When I asked her if she could come here she said No I'm doing something more important so I'm not important I guess. Heart, Lily

related: An anonymous rant against anonymity

FILED UNDER: Alabama · gas station · kids · Portland · spelling and grammar police · your/you're


79 responses so far ↓

  • #1   donna

    ahh…mothers always take the rap….

    May 26, 2010 at 9:11 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Sharne

    Reminds me of a note my sister used to have on her bedroom door.

    “NO WAY, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT – NO ONE IS ALLOWED IN HERE (without gifts or money)”

    May 26, 2010 at 9:12 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Gretchen

    Maybe I’m stuiped, but a sign like that would make me want to open the door out of sheer curiosity. What’s on the other side, a bottomless chasm? A fire-breathing dragon? Narnia?

    May 26, 2010 at 9:12 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Ethrdg

      …or an angry little girl wielding a spoon.

      May 26, 2010 at 9:32 pm   rating: 55  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   park rose

      So Gretchen, do you go by the name Can’t Read, then, or You’re Stuiped?

      May 27, 2010 at 3:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      “DANGER” is a clue. It’s got to be something dangerous. But WHAT?

      May 27, 2010 at 11:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Bunnee

      The smoke monster!

      *for you, Wo

      May 27, 2010 at 12:26 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Woman on the Verge bang

      Consider yourself thumbed, Bunnee! I love you!

      May 27, 2010 at 12:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Maas

      I think we’re looking at this all wrong, it’s opening the door that makes you either stupid or illiterate, and the author has clearly opened that door many times.

      May 27, 2010 at 5:28 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      Sisters and brothers, I have arrived at a conclusion. It took me a while to piece together and examine the evidence, but I now have incontrovertible proof about the nature of this danger!

      The one thing that was out of place, the piece of evidence that kept bothering me about this doorway to danger, was the apparent window in the midst of the door.

      Why would the herald of danger conceal the display of the dangerousness, which we could assume to be visible through that window, with an opaque sign?

      It just didn’t fit – until I remembered another case which I had worked on in London.

      I surmise that this room contains a Grow Room Operation. The first warning sign accompanied a window displaying marihuana fruits as far as the eye could see. This enticing display was in conflict with the Danger sign, and did little to prevent passers by from becoming marihuana meddlers.

      The second sign, which completely covers the window, was placed to discourage interlopers from disturbing the Grow Room Operation behind the window.

      And so, I name YOU, Passive Aggressive Note Writer, to be the REAL danger here — to the community! The danger behind the door is NOTHING compared to the danger IN FRONT OF IT, writing notes with a PEN!

      May 27, 2010 at 5:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   Maas

      Scribbles, isn’t it more likely that the Arc of the Covenant is behind the door? See, the first sign warned of the danger, but someone went in, and opened the Arc, making the little window in the door a bit of a liability, which is why the second sign is placed there.

      May 27, 2010 at 7:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   rhombchick

    That note would scare me into not opening the door. I am terrified of illiterate note leavers.

    May 26, 2010 at 9:22 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Jynical

    I love the “<3 Lily"… Not really committing to the anger, is she?

    May 26, 2010 at 9:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Max Time bang

      hmm maybe its cause she lives there I mean thats the only reason i’d say Love max but yea

      May 27, 2010 at 8:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Kristin

    LOL…I love how the person who tried to correct the incorrect grammar did it incorrectly (the first ‘your’ should be ‘you’ and not ‘you’re’)…at least they got the second ‘you’re’ correct!

    May 26, 2010 at 9:28 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   park rose

      If you incorrectly correct this note, your you’re you either don’t know what your you’re doing or your you’re stuiped.

      May 27, 2010 at 3:32 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   TheOldSchool bang

      Now, before everyone here gets all high and mighty about spelling, it might be wise to pause a moment and check in with some experts.

      I did, and what I found may surprise you.

      According to the Urban Dictionary, stuiped is merely “an incorrect spelling of the word ‘stupid’.”

      You may have been surprised to read that, but it was just as I suspected.

      May 27, 2010 at 4:48 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      But how did they know that my either can’t read?

      May 27, 2010 at 7:07 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   bored at work

      Well Woman, I’m glad your either can’t read. If it could, that would mean you were stuiped.

      May 27, 2010 at 8:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Max Time bang

      stuiped is as stuiped does

      May 27, 2010 at 8:54 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   Woman on the Verge bang

      Don’t be stuiped.

      May 27, 2010 at 10:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   LordOfThePants

      Better to stuip than be stuiped, I guess…

      May 27, 2010 at 1:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   Max Time bang

      better to stoop than be stoopid, I guess

      lol I jus made it more confusing

      May 27, 2010 at 1:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.9   TheOldSchool bang

      I’m going to complain to Apple. I don’t think its safari browser displays all of the commenters.

      I frequently see remarks addressed to someone who calls himself “lol,” yet I’ve never seen his avatar or his comments. It makes me feel like I’m missing out on a lot of the action.

      May 27, 2010 at 1:44 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.10   park rose bang

      ToS, that’s because he is LOLlygagged around you.

      May 27, 2010 at 5:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.11   Karly

      Neither “you’re” is correct. The second “you’re” is also wrong because “you” (i.e., the first incorrect “you’re”) comes before “either.” Therefore, the only appropriate substitution for the second “you’re” is “are.”

      Team Anti-Everybody Involved

      May 28, 2010 at 1:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   FeRD bang

    See, looking at the first-first sign (and considering the setting), there’s no way to be sure it didn’t originally read “Dancer”, and then some rapscallion went and defaced the “c”. And who doesn’t want to meet a fun dancing friend, during their filling-station adventures?

    Team open-the-door-to-be-sure! (Besides, if they were really “seirous” about people not opening it, there’s this amazing invention called a lock that’s been proven up to 15% more effective than even painstakingly hand-lettered signs!)

    May 26, 2010 at 9:39 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Romeo

    That’s a WHOLE lotta SIC! lol!

    May 26, 2010 at 9:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   TippingCows

    Fire breathing dragons are being held in gas stations now are they? I guess that’s a better deterrent to a potential burglar, eh?

    As for the second note, I don’t even wanna go there.

    May 26, 2010 at 9:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   zenvelo

    the door next to a men’s bathroom is likely a women’s room, and being in a gas station in Alabama, which only recently got indoor plumbing, I’d be scared of what foulness is behind that door.

    May 26, 2010 at 10:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   We will speak anon

      I totally agree. Anyone who chooses to venture into any Alabama gas station bathroom is stuipid in my book. (My stuipid book.)

      May 27, 2010 at 2:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   park rose bang

      Zenvelo, I’d be scared of what foul play is afoot, or underfoot, also

      May 27, 2010 at 5:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Natalie

    Lily sounds awesome.

    However, the first time I read her note, I read it as “then my Mom was wanking”. Which, to be fair, sounds more enjoyable than telling off an 8-8rold. People are usually a little less honest about it, though.

    May 26, 2010 at 10:25 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   The Elf

      Maybe that’s where that torn-off corner went to.

      May 27, 2010 at 8:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Divvitar

    That first note sounds like an invitation to me. What could be behind that door that is so dangerous? What is a “Stuiped?” Is that like a biped or a quadraped? Maybe the “Stuiped” is what is so dangerous?

    Note #2… Poor abused, neglected girl. Mommy probably paddled her ass with the spoon, too, for interrupting her “work;” which likely consists of playing Farmville in between selling shit on E-Bay. This must have been left for Daddy to find when he got home. Gotta love passive-aggressive attention-seeking behavior!

    May 26, 2010 at 10:30 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   twiggy

      wow, do you get all your exercise jumping to conclusions? I don’t get abused or neglected from her note. I get an 8 year old girl who’s mad at mommy. My 5 year old niece couldn’t have a cookie after dinner, so she told her mom that she (the mom) will die when she gets too old. The 5 year old’s reasoning was that she and her husband wouldn’t move in and take care of them when they are old and infirm. All over a cookie. Sometimes kids just say funny stuff.

      May 27, 2010 at 12:52 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   H for Toy bang

      Actually her mom was trying to catch up at passiveaggressivenotes.com, reading all the witty comments.

      May 27, 2010 at 10:27 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   VM

      What do you mean “too”? Mom “thought I spanked my stuiped sister”… i.e. it’s Lily who’s the suspect of the spoon-wielding. I can get the righteous indignation if she’s indeed unjustly accused, but the sheer height of the STUIPED she puts before sister makes me doubt it.

      May 27, 2010 at 12:17 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   KarenW

      Excuse me, but I “sell shit on eBay”, and it is real work. And if my kids bother me for some unimportant reason while I’m doing eBay, I will tell them to leave me alone.

      May 27, 2010 at 12:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   Abe Froman

      Your kids must feel as unloved and insignificant as our poor little Lily. Shame on you for admitting your lack of parental involvement in your kids’ lives. If anyone deserves to be spanked with a spoon, it is you!

      May 27, 2010 at 3:20 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.6   bj

      Mom didn’t spank anyone. She thought Lily spanked sis with a spoon, and obviously got mad at Lily for it. Hence the P-A note.

      May 28, 2010 at 12:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.7   Divvitar

      Some people obviously don’t understand sarcasm. My kids are just fine, thanks.

      May 30, 2010 at 3:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.8   Divvitar

      I should have used an emoticon to indicate the sarcasm. Just FYI, I am raising two boys who were former victims of abuse and neglect.

      May 30, 2010 at 3:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    My either reads just fine, this guy must be stuiped to think otherwise.
    But then, how bright do you have to be to work in an Alabama gas station?

    May 26, 2010 at 11:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    Vindicated at last!!
    I have always believed that “fancy” penmanship is in no way related to a high-quality education!!

    May 26, 2010 at 11:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    I’m not going to pick on Lily, age 8 years.

    Why?

    Because it’s pretty evident that her heart is broken.

    May 26, 2010 at 11:22 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   oi bang

    oh man! :lol:
    lily’s note made my day! love it, love it. Absolutely hilarious.

    May 27, 2010 at 12:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Melissa B

    I wonder what happened in the corner of the page, im guessing Lilly beat it off with a spoon or bit it off amd spit it at her mom in rage.

    May 27, 2010 at 12:30 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   park rose

      I thin, like CB said, her heart is all tore up.

      May 27, 2010 at 3:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   park rose

      Well, I ain’t thin, like CB, but I might think like him from time to time. ;)

      May 27, 2010 at 4:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Max Time bang

      sorry i was hungry

      May 27, 2010 at 8:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    Boy, we can send a man to the Moon, but we can’t build a pen with a spellchecker?
    That’s just stuiped.

    May 27, 2010 at 4:14 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   VentureSister

    Holy hell those “R”s are annoying the crap out of me. What writing style is that? How the hell is that supposed to an R?

    May 27, 2010 at 6:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Ivana

      I wondered the same thing when I first saw the US version of the letter “R” after having moved here – the R’s above look pretty close to the standard cursive small “r” taught in school in Europe…

      May 27, 2010 at 7:28 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   farcical aquatic ceremony

      what a fate: to have emmigrated from ANYwhere in Europe and end up a gas station attendant in Alabama…

      May 27, 2010 at 8:01 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   HandyMarigolds

      Good point. “In my homeland, I am rocket scientist.”

      May 27, 2010 at 12:07 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Wolverine Girl

      Those “y”s are pretty damn annoying too. Stuiped backwards loops.

      May 28, 2010 at 7:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   bored at work

    SPOON SPANKING!!!!! I need details. Was it a wooden spoon that mom used to spank her bottom? Did she pop her on top of her head with a stainless steel soup spoon? (Oh, the alliteration was fucking delicious….) Perhaps a rap across the knuckles with delicate silver teaspoon. I’ve got to know!!!!! By the way, it could have been much worse. She could have ‘forked’ the girl’s sister instead.

    Personally, I prefer to fork first, then spoon afterward.

    May 27, 2010 at 8:37 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      But bored, if you really want a spicy spanking you gotta go with sporking FTW.

      May 27, 2010 at 10:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   HandyMarigolds

      You don’t know the meaning of hell until you’ve been chopstuck.

      May 27, 2010 at 12:06 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   bored at work

      That’s my motto -

      Spork first, ask questions later.

      May 27, 2010 at 1:09 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Kimmpie

    It was Lily’s sister who was stuiped…not her mom!
    Maybe if her stuiped sister had not pissed off mommy, then Lily would have gotten the attention she obviously needed. Though I’m thinking mom might be a little stuiped too.

    As for the wooden spoon ~ those work great for spankings! Makes for a not smarting hand for the spanker, but leave a smarting cheek for the spankee ;)

    May 27, 2010 at 11:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Divvitar

      Especially effective are the ones with a hole in the middle. They sting like crazy (I know from experience in my childhood). The “naughty spoon” was a bitch!

      May 30, 2010 at 3:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Edwina the Defrocked Nun

    All I had to read was “Luverne, Alabama.”

    May 27, 2010 at 11:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Bunnee

      They couldn’t even spell “Laverne” correctly!

      May 27, 2010 at 12:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   HandyMarigolds

    I want to know what circumstances would prompt a false accusation of spoon spanking.

    May 27, 2010 at 12:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Fredella

      When I was a child I used to play with random household objects and my sister would always decide she wanted a turn. I wouldn’t give her one because usually I’d just started playing with the thing myself when she started asking, so she’d lie to my mother and say I’d been hurting her with it so it would be taken away and I couldn’t play with it either. For example, one time I had a pet chunk of wood named Andy and my sister wanted to take Andy for a walk but I wouldn’t let her so she claimed I had purposely dropped him on her toes and our mother burned him. If my stuiped sister had just grabbed a different chunk of wood to be her own pet mine wouldn’t have had to die.

      Possibly Lily’s situation is similar. She does seem angrier at her sister than at her mom, as evidenced by the larger STUIPID for her sister, which would make sense if her sister was a liar and her mother was gullible enough to believe her sister’s lies.

      May 28, 2010 at 4:29 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Southerngirl

    What is with all the Alabama bashing? Geez…damn Yankees…

    May 27, 2010 at 1:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   bored at work

    Sounds like Elmer Fudd channeling Depeche Mode.

    Wet me see you stuiped down to the booooone.

    May 27, 2010 at 4:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Sarah Ashley

    How amazing is it that they both spelled stupid as “stuiped”?!

    Simply awesome.

    May 27, 2010 at 5:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   Chloe

    I wouldn’t mind being spanked with a spoon. Um. I mean, poor Lily!

    (Team Spoon!)

    May 27, 2010 at 6:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Mark bang

      SPOOOOOOOOOON!

      May 28, 2010 at 3:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Mo® bang

      Khaaaa… uh I mean SPOOOOOOON!

      May 28, 2010 at 3:45 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   oi

      SPOOOOOOON!
      ha! gravatar does not want me to log in PAN! It’s seen here fine!

      May 28, 2010 at 4:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)

    “…so I’m not important, I guess.”

    Lily, are you my reincarnated from-the-old-country grandmother?

    May 27, 2010 at 9:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Mattykins

    It is nice that the author does not assume that the illiterate are necessarily stupid, indicated by their use of “or”

    May 28, 2010 at 7:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #30   karen

    Put a sign called “private/staff only” and lock it. Its that simple.

    May 29, 2010 at 6:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Little Dippers and Effeminate Stationery, Inc. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Stupid is as stuiped does [...]

    Jul 28, 2010 at 9:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   The Stupidbomber Manifesto | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Stupid is as stuiped does [...]

    Mar 28, 2011 at 9:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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