Our submitter in Amherst, Massachusetts was heading to class at UMass one day when she saw no fewer than twelve of these signs posted throughout the hallways and doors of her apartment building.  “My neighbors had a fun time responding with comments all over them,” she says, at least for the day and half before they got taken down.

I think my favorite part of this one is the handwritten notes at the bottom. One neighbor suggests, “Perhaps you should talk to the people in this building instead of making them think you’re mean, dramatic and cowardly,” and the writer, pouty-faced, responds, “Well I have said this before and nobody listens.” (Unwritten response: “Boo-FUCKING-hoo. Sounds like somebody needs to get laid.” )

related: When parking gets political

Our Bay-Area submitter returned from lunch one day to find this note from an anonymous concerned coworker.

“I’ll admit that I’ve gained about 15 pounds recently,” she says. However, “At 4’11 and normally around 95 pounds, even with the extra 15 I’m still within an acceptable weight range for my height.” But the real kicker, says our submitter?

“I’m also 5 months pregnant. I just haven’t made a big deal about it by talking incessantly about it or demanding special treatment like I’m God’s gift to the world just because I got myself knocked up.”

(So, uh, I think that’s a no, she won’t be seeing you there.)

related: I am beautiful, not matter what they say (or passive-aggressively insinuate)

…the proprietors of this Toronto bar will leave you pondering some different questions instead.

Meanwhile, as Will observed, a Shell station in Austin apparently abides by a similar “honesty is the best” policy.

…as does a shopping center in Tyler, Texas, where Erin spotted this explanation (on a 100-degree July day).

Similar venting was on display at a store in Ironton, Ohio. (“For the record, I cannot validate whether or not the ‘oner’ was an in fact an asshole,” says submitter Meagan.)

And smetimes, of course, brutal honesty isn’t enough.

So really, why bother with an explanation at all?

related: Closed for good! Remember that the cheese loved you more than you loved it.

Sara in Easton, Maryland received this mother’s day card made by her 7-year-old daughter in school. “Yes, I sometimes have a potty mouth,” Sara says, “but I’m working on it, dammit! I just hope her teacher didn’t judge me too harshly…”

Meanwhile, Allison in Columbia, South Carolina found this sad little bookmark in a public library book. (An Amy Tan novel, naturally.)

related: Thanks, Mom, for reminding me why I moved out in the first place.

I know, you didn’t want that Trucoat. But there is something you can do about it.

Just ask this driver from Portland, Oregon:

Or the owner of this truck, spotted by Chris in Kansas City, Missouri:

Or this guy, spotted by Paul in El Cajon, California:

Or this one, spotted by Leigh from Fort Mill, South Carolina:

At least now you know where not to go next time.

related: The car you drive can say a lot about you as a person

Sure, some things (don’t pee in the freaking trash can!) should go without saying. But if you’re gonna say it, wouldn’t this be the time for absolute clarity? In this situation, the directive “behind the salad bar” seems dangerously vague.

Oh, and did I mention that Jenna in Kansas spotted this notice at a local “salad bar/tanning salon”? Because I’m sure that clears everything up.

related: What is it about thrift-store fitting rooms?

I’d like to imagine that this note, spotted by Michael in Sydney, Australia…

And this note, documented by Ron in Michigan…

…are both connected by one shamelessly bum-scratching female bicyclist.

related: Failed strategies in bicycle theft deterrence

Our submitter in Provo, Utah came across this sad little display taped to a door at Brigham Young University. “There’s a lot of pent-up, childish anger there,” she says.

Perhaps those would-be party-throwers in Provo could find some consolation from Ricky in Buenos Aires — his 49th birthday party was also cancelled due to a lack of cooperación from his amigos. (Hello, mission trip?)

related: This is not a party, only a reminder to not forget…again.