Scix in Salt Lake City, Utah found this Valentine tucked into a book at a local thrift store run by the Mormon Church. “The idea of using any edition of The Rules to get your kids married is kind of scary,” he says, but imagining the sweet, naive Mormon mom behind it (doing EVERYTHING IN HER POWER) makes it kind of cute…if a bit absurd.
related: We are sure you will be a beautiful bride, but…
95 responses so far ↓
#1
not gen anything
Kind of creepy
Jun 1, 2010 at 9:22 pm rating: 5
#2
Chris
I guess we know now why it was found in a thrift store.
Jun 1, 2010 at 9:29 pm rating: 24
#3
RunBarbara
The only “Rules” I follow for dating are:
1. wear something pleather
2. big hair and bald pubes
3. pay for the date, use a stolen credit card if possible
4. swallow
It’s not easy but it’s how I got to the top of “Next To Suffer Complications from Plan B”, which is better than marriage because I didn’t have to send out invitations.
Jun 1, 2010 at 9:32 pm rating: 55
#4
Metah-4
Question: What was in Book 1 that would get them ready for Book 2?
Question: What IS in Book 2 that would allow them to have a “fun” Valentaine’s Day?
Whoa…
Last question: Where can I find that book!?
Jun 1, 2010 at 9:36 pm rating: 2
#5
jfruh
Wait, I’m confused — are both notes to the same person? Was the book the note was found in “the Rules.”
Jun 1, 2010 at 9:41 pm rating: 2
#6
Kiryn
The “next mommsen to marry” list? What kind of list is that?
Jun 1, 2010 at 10:11 pm rating: 4
#7
Scix
Scix is a boy, by the way.
The image is the front and back of the same little note card. The book it was found in was not The Rules or anything related. I don’t remember what it was, though.
Jun 1, 2010 at 10:11 pm rating: 11
#8
Canthz_B
I know you’re doing all in your power to get Christy and me together, Mom.
That’s why I’m doing all in my power to keep you and Christy apart.
Jun 1, 2010 at 10:12 pm rating: 20
#9
infanttyrone
Dear Sonny Boy,
Just FYI, Christy is going to be playing hard to get but don’t you believe it for a second…it’s all part of the plan based on The Rules II that she thinks she’s concocting to manipulate you into chasing her…Love, Mummy
K.T., run far and quickly…this is about as motherly as Angela Lansbury giving Laurence Harvey a heads-up about a debutante she thinks he should ravage…well, ravage and then come home to Mother…remember the almost-kiss they had in the original The Manchurian Candidate…
Jun 1, 2010 at 10:17 pm rating: 2
#10
Zeke
“Mommsen”?
Jun 1, 2010 at 10:19 pm rating: 1
#11
Silence
Doesn’t she mean the “Next Mommsen to Become a Baby Factory”?
No thanks, Mom. Someone else can take my place in line. Really, it’s no big deal.
Jun 1, 2010 at 10:44 pm rating: 21
#12
Canthz_B
Thanks for having confidence in me, Mom, but it’s pretty hard to break into the Top Ten Next Mommsen Marriages when Dad holds eight of the spots.
Jun 1, 2010 at 10:59 pm rating: 97
#13
LittleSprout
Where do I sign up? I mean, really, since all we women want to do in life is marry and procreate. And if I don’t, then my life is meaningless, and I might as well just slit my wrists.
[/i'm a nerd, but i don't do html]
Jun 1, 2010 at 11:11 pm rating: 23
#14
ISpy
Wow. You’d think we would have more fun with the Mormon angle on this one. I think maybe the special underwear is a little tight.
Jun 2, 2010 at 12:41 am rating: 13
#15
Escape Goat
now i know why romeo and juliet tried to run away.
Jun 2, 2010 at 12:43 am rating: 7
#16
Rubber Chicken
If they left the note in a random book, what did they do with “The Rules II”?
Jun 2, 2010 at 12:49 am rating: 1
#17
Splint Chesthair
I dated a woman who followed the rules, or at least the “don’t accept a Saturday night date after Wednesday” or something similar. I called her like 3 weeks in a row on Wednesday or Thursday and she was always busy with family or something. I didn’t think much of it and would have continued to call but I met someone who was available on Saturday and eventually married her. Later, a friend of the first girl asked why I called so late in the week and hinted that it was a rule the girl followed. I said, I never thought about it and figured if she wasn’t busy she’d say so. Silly me.
Jun 2, 2010 at 7:35 am rating: 32
#18
Woman on the Verge
What’s Christy supposed to do? Whack KT over the head with The Rules II and drag him back to her cave?
Jun 2, 2010 at 7:44 am rating: 16
#19
Woman on the Verge
Pretty sure the only way they are going to have fun with that book is if they tear out the pages and slide a copy of the Kama Sutra inside.
Jun 2, 2010 at 7:50 am rating: 21
#20
jaywalke
Sweetie-
I mean it. EVERYTHING in my power. Don’t make me summon the Old Ones again, like we had to do for the bedwetting.
Love you! (Or, at least I will once you are safely married! Same thing!)
Mom
Jun 2, 2010 at 7:53 am rating: 16
#21
farcical aquatic ceremony
Okay, I tried (for a minute) to be all grown-up and respectful about naming convention differences, etc., etc., but–am I the only one having trouble with the name “Scix”?
(Until I receive a better explanation, I’ll choose to believe that: someone thought the insertion of a “c” would effectively de-devil the devil’s number, and that tagging their child with the word as a ‘name’ would be doing god’s work by sending de-deviled sixes out into the world..?
Jun 2, 2010 at 8:30 am rating: 9
#22
HandyMarigolds
Awww, Scix! Deseret Industries Thrift Store REPRESENT!
The weird thing is, The Rules II is the guide for keeping your honey after you’ve used all kinds of PA mind-games to snare him in the first place. I know, because my (no-longer-Mormon) aunt sent me a copy when I was a teenager. (Must be a Salt Laker thing.)
I do know that one Rules co-writer has since endured an ugly divorce, as has that Mars/Venus weenie John Gray. Maybe if they got to know their romantic prospects as people, rather than collections of dated gender stereotypes…?
Jun 2, 2010 at 9:54 am rating: 27
#23
H for Toy
Only chocolate food, which is only right. I think Splint is my husband.
Jun 2, 2010 at 12:24 pm rating: 3
#24
Natalie
For some reason, when I read this I imagined that KT and Christy were sisters or female cousins or something, and KT’s mom was trying to get the BOTH of them onto the “next mommsen to marry” list. I didn’t imagine that they were dating each other… although now I can see that angle too, I guess. Hmm.
Jun 2, 2010 at 2:51 pm rating: 4
#25
notolaf
Am I the only one who thinks Mom Mommsen was being funny?
Hel-LO!!!
Jun 2, 2010 at 6:49 pm rating: 1
#26
Bad Mood
I hate it when I feel the need to leave a non-snarky comment here, instead of just lurking and being on my way. Seriously, screw these books. The Rules, He’s Just Not that Into You, and Steve Harvey fail to recognize that women might actually want to fuck. “Don’t ever ask a guy out. They want to do the pursuing.” What about what I want? I might want some sex. Crap like this follows the sex-as-commodity model which argues that teh wimmins should withhold sex in exchange for a ring. Grr… I just got all ranty.
Jun 2, 2010 at 7:13 pm rating: 14
#27
xindi
Sunflower.
Jun 3, 2010 at 2:15 pm rating: 0
#28
M
So…if Momma Mommsen is concerned that her kids aren’t getting married, maybe she should take a good look at their various quirks and try to think of why it’s a good thing that they’re not procreating…
Jun 4, 2010 at 9:07 am rating: 0
#29 Happy Valentine’s Day to my son…and the harlot with whom he’s living in sin. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] The next-to-marry list [...]
Feb 14, 2011 at 8:50 am rating: 0
#30 "At present she has no plans for a wedding." | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: The “Next to Marry” List [...]
May 13, 2011 at 9:49 am rating: 0
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