So, which of these warnings would most readily scare you into compliance?
Exhibit a) from an alley in York, U.K.
![If I find out who is leting their dog shit out side my house I will personaly [sic] ripp [sic] there [sic] heads off and their dogs and shit in their necks!! This not a threat it's a promis [sic]! I am watching! God help you if I catch you!](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3029/2501887240_890bb14f1d.jpg "If I find out who is leting their dog shit out side my house I will personaly [sic] ripp [sic] there [sic] heads off and their dogs and shit in their necks!! This not a threat it's a promis [sic]! I am watching! God help you if I catch you!")
Exhibit b) from a sharehouse in Australia
or Exhibit c) spotted by Robert on a film shoot in Los Angeles?
related: Wishin’ and hopin’
Violent (but amusing) threats
June 6th, 2010 · 76 comments
FILED UNDER: Australia · CAPS LOCK · die bitch die · God · Los Angeles · most popular notes of 2010 · not-so-veiled threats · spelling and grammar police
76 responses so far ↓
#1
Josh Straub
AND remove you as a Facebook friend?!? *gasp*
Jun 6, 2010 at 4:49 pm rating: 90
#2
Wade
I ♥ note #2.
Jun 6, 2010 at 4:50 pm rating: 90
#3
Attila the Nun
I can understand dropping somebody off of the high turret, but removing somebody as a Facebook friend is just cruel.
Jun 6, 2010 at 4:51 pm rating: 90
#4
eli
Remove me as a Facebook friend? OH NO, NOT THAT! Anything but that!
Jun 6, 2010 at 4:51 pm rating: 90
#5
Marlisa
Note #2 scares me the most. Paper cuts really hurt.
Jun 6, 2010 at 4:52 pm rating: 90
#6
Madrias
Some people are just so aggressive! though I agree with #1: Dogs shitting in my yard don’t get away scot-free. I have rather watered down paint going through the yard sprinklers so that anyone that lets their dog crap in my yard can enjoy green paint all over their place.
Jun 6, 2010 at 4:53 pm rating: 90
#7
Gretchen
I think the latter two have a sense of humor, and hence approve. If they don’t, I worry about their psychological stability.
Jun 6, 2010 at 5:01 pm rating: 90
#8
Jamie
#1 isn’t scary because the person can’t even spell. How old are they, 8? Well, with that kind of language, maybe 10. #2 is impressively threatening. #3 is amusing because it could take quite a bunch of de-friending depending on just how many offensive and unlabeled water bottles are hanging around.
Jun 6, 2010 at 5:10 pm rating: 90
#9
Flaaboy2425
I know that some spellings are different in the U.K., but I always thought out side was just one word, ripp was spelled with only one p, and promis had an e attached in both U.K. and American English. Where did I go wrong?
Jun 6, 2010 at 5:15 pm rating: 90
#10
Kate
‘Gosh Darned’?
I would not be afraid of someone who says gosh darn. Swear at them and they would run away.
But being removed as a facebook friend would really worry me.
Jun 6, 2010 at 5:17 pm rating: 90
#11
Woman on the Verge
Do you have to time travel to drop someone off a turret and then unfriend them on facebook?
Jun 6, 2010 at 5:19 pm rating: 90
#12
Addie
I can’t take the first one seriously, so notes two and three get my vote. Note three is wonderfully understated.
Jun 6, 2010 at 5:21 pm rating: 90
#13
infanttyrone
I’m a little scared of and for #6.
A dog doing what comes naturally doesn’t deserve the risk of
getting an eye full of green paint, watered-down or not.
Some dog owners retaliate personally…others would just call the SPCA +/0r local environmental affairs bureaucracy, sit back on the porch with Rover and watch the endless evil circus of lawsuits and fines go on and on.
Jun 6, 2010 at 5:27 pm rating: 90
#14
infanttyrone
Note to self: Don’t count on masking tape to hide spelling deficiencies.
Jun 6, 2010 at 5:29 pm rating: 90
#15
BurstingAtTheSeams
Breaking news
Police in Los Angeles are searching for a murder suspect this afternoon after an unidentified office intern was found dead from wounds sustained during a fall from a Hearst Castle turret. The office intern had nothing on her person except for an unmarked bottle of water, a matter of alarm which cause the police to believe she was pushed intentionally by an angry co-worker.
LAPD has asked local citizens to be on the lookout for a middle-aged woman who uses phrases like “Gosh-Darned” and “Man Alive.” She may have also recently dropped the office intern from her facebook page.
Please contact PAN immediately with details.
Up next: College student from Down Under sneezes shopping lists!
Jun 6, 2010 at 5:54 pm rating: 90
#16
marathonmom
Dang- A has like, SNAPPED written all over it. I am pretty good about my doogie pooping in my backyard but sometimes it takes a walk -and that’s when I make my kids do it and they are not so good about telling me about which house she pooped on.
Jun 6, 2010 at 5:56 pm rating: 90
#17
Angela
I can’t even make fun of dude’s spelling, he freaks me out so much.
Jun 6, 2010 at 6:37 pm rating: 90
#18
Sally
I would just pee in the unmarked water bottles.
Jun 6, 2010 at 7:16 pm rating: 90
#19
unlabeled
I imagine it would be pretty hard to know who to remove from Facebook if their bottle is unlabeled!? I guess they could just delete everybody until their friends list consists ONLY of those with labeled bottles, and write family members, ex-classmates etc. off as collateral damage…
Jun 6, 2010 at 8:38 pm rating: 90
#20
cole
I love how number 1 doesn’t know which version of “their/there” he wants to use.
Jun 6, 2010 at 9:57 pm rating: 90
#21
gladystopia
#2 note gets my vote, simply for the imagery it conjures.
“Honey? We need a few things at the store. I’ve got the list right here….” -aCHOO! “No, wait, that’s Katelyn’s soccer schedule…” aCHOO! “Nope–that’s the permission slip for Junior’s field trip ….” aCHOO! aCHOO! “Oh, there it is–forgot how long that list was! I’ve NEVER had a two-sneezer before…”
And let’s not even discuss where she keeps the checkbook….
Jun 6, 2010 at 10:45 pm rating: 90
#22
G
#2 managed to use “your” and “you’re” correctly, successfully, three times.
I love him/her/it.
Jun 6, 2010 at 11:20 pm rating: 90
#23
shwonline
Whoops, sorry. From now on I will make sure that my dog shits inside your house.
Jun 6, 2010 at 11:50 pm rating: 90
#24
Matthew
This reminds me of some of the notes my co-workers used to leave my boss and each other…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/suomynona/sets/72157609039497242
Fun times
Jun 7, 2010 at 1:35 am rating: 90
#25
Xenobiologista
Note #2 has this lovely recursiveness about it.
Jun 7, 2010 at 2:29 am rating: 90
#26
a-Arialist
I am incapable of anything other than hysterical laughter at a ‘threatening’ note that contains the words ‘gosh-darned’. . .
Jun 7, 2010 at 2:46 am rating: 90
#27
Wolverine Girl
I keep hearing note 3 in Ned Flanders’ voice:
Label your gosh-darned water bottles or I’ll drop-diddly-op you off the high tur-doodly-urret and posilutely, absotively remove you as a Facebook frienderino.
Jun 7, 2010 at 3:11 am rating: 90
#28
Edwina the Defrocked Nun
Like others in the tribe, I vote #2. That one was written by a devilishly smart raving lunatic, the other two by wannabes.
Attila, didn’t I know you during our novitiate? You were the one at the end of the corridor, right?
Jun 7, 2010 at 1:55 pm rating: 90
#29
aaa
Does it really have the power of a promise if it’s spelled incorrectly?
Jun 7, 2010 at 1:55 pm rating: 90
#30
Woman on the Verge
“Power of hoodoo.”
*gigglebrax fail*
Jun 7, 2010 at 2:33 pm rating: 90
#31
Mo®
Oh oops nothing to see here!
Jun 7, 2010 at 3:01 pm rating: 90
#32
T.U.M.
Sneezing grocery lists is too funny to be truly threatening, and the Facebook bit defangs the threat of the turret drop.
But, I’m not entirely convinces that bloke won’t shit in my neck, so I’m staying out of his alley.
Jun 7, 2010 at 3:30 pm rating: 90
#33
Neeners
I’m trying to determine which is worse, the dog pooping outside the house or a man going outside to “ripp” the dogs head off and shit down the neck?
Hmm… what a sight for the neighborhood, Crazy Joe’s final meltdown!
What’s really a crime is the guy’s spelling! Oh and the fact he used masking tape outside. Come on, we all know that’s not going to hold yet the use of a plastic page protector is important to him.
Jun 7, 2010 at 3:44 pm rating: 90
#34
Ashmeadow
Instead of defriending the offenders the note writer should just set up a memorial page. It has the same effect.
Jun 7, 2010 at 4:57 pm rating: 90
#35
RP
Meh. I empathize with the first note.
Jun 7, 2010 at 5:12 pm rating: 90
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