Mothers truly skilled in the art of passive-aggression don’t need much to make their feelings known.
Just ask Rachel in Boston, who recently finished a three-semester master’s program a few months later than expected. “My mom was less than thrilled that my nine classmates finished on time while I struggled to edit my final paper,” Rachel says. “When I finally finished, we had a small graduation party, and she presented me with this gem of a cake.”
Meanwhile, writes our submitter in Madison, Wisconsin: “My mother has a bit of a ‘thing’ against any sort of carbonated beverage and constantly refers to diet soda as ‘the devil’s brew.’ I recently bought a little pack of the mini-cans of Diet Coke, and left one on the computer desk. After arriving home one evening, I found that my mother had kindly re-labeled one of my empty cans for me.”
In recognition of this particular skill, Amazon.com has apparently farmed out the writing of their suggested “PayPhrases” to stay-at-home Moms across the country…as Jessica in California noticed, on a double-take.
related: Is your blog kid-tested, Mom-approved?
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76 responses so far ↓
#1
not gen anything
Oh, come on! These are amateur passive aggressive moms. We need a real guilt inducing mom note.
Jun 8, 2010 at 4:02 pm rating: 4
#2
Tikikala
chimicals.. @_@
Jun 8, 2010 at 4:17 pm rating: 1
#3
Quite Contrary
Oh, mom. As if you are perfect. Where do you think I learned my procrastination skills and my love of chemicals?
Jun 8, 2010 at 4:21 pm rating: 6
#4
Mo®
Aw MOM! What is next? I won’t be allowed to cook meth in the garage?
Jun 8, 2010 at 4:21 pm rating: 4
#5
Jynical
When I was much younger, my cousin and I would get my dad’s porn out and giggle at the pictures. One afternoon, we opened the drawer and on top of the magazines was a handwritten note from my mother that said, “God is watching you.” I wish I could go back in time, take a picture and come back to submit it to this site.
Jun 8, 2010 at 4:22 pm rating: 22
#6
The Girl from New York
I fully expect the Mommsen girls to get a cake like Rachel did if reading “The Rules” doesn’t get them to the top of the Mommsen “next-to-marry” list.
Jun 8, 2010 at 4:29 pm rating: 14
#7
Significant
Actually, diet coke devil mom has a legitimate point. That little “phenylketonurics” warning on the can has to do with fake sugar substances such as aspertame, sucrolose and others that are really harmful to your body (especially when they’ve been built up in your system for so long). You don’t hear about the dangers because it’s a cheap alternative to what’s better for you out there (take the natural sugar Stevia for example). Some people are very sensitive to it so they end up finding alternatives right away (which is good). Then there are those (most people) who don’t feel the immediate side effects but the damage is still being done to the internal organs. Phenylalanine is what they use as formaldehyde when preserving dead bodies. So take that for what you will. A little bit of it won’t kill you, but if you eat/drink a lot of foods that are diet, or are “sugar free”, consider cutting back on them.
Yeah, I sound like one of those crazy people. The fake sugar’s out to get you! Run! But it’s true.
*end rant*
Jun 8, 2010 at 4:37 pm rating: 9
#8
The Great Joe Bivins
Rachel’s mom then presented her another cake which read “Now how about some grandchildren?”
Jun 8, 2010 at 4:47 pm rating: 17
#9
cowbert
eww aspartame is a nice poisonous chemical indeed.
Jun 8, 2010 at 5:22 pm rating: 5
#10
Penguins In Guam
I agree, diet sodas are evil. I’ll stick with pure, fattening death chemicals any day.
Jun 8, 2010 at 5:28 pm rating: 7
#11
jinx
Guessing by the fact that there were only nine other people in her class, Rachel is retarded. She was in inclusion classes. They didn’t have the heart to break it to her, though, when her non “special” classmates graduated on time. Anyway, mom fails for having the f*cked up egg that turned into Rachel. At least, dad was smart to stay out of it because he knew his swimmer that produced Rachel was well… slow.
Jun 8, 2010 at 5:52 pm rating: 2
#12
Neeners
Mom, would you prefer a fifth of gin, or jack daniels with a straw in it to the diet coke?
Lighten up!
Jun 8, 2010 at 6:36 pm rating: 8
#13
Odious
Rachel, just list the ingredients in a can of soda and then look at the labels on the food your mom eats.
(soda will be comparatively innocuous)
Better get some post-its first…
Enjoy!
Jun 8, 2010 at 7:35 pm rating: 4
#14
spyderqueen
Hah, anyone in my family when confronted with the soda note would promptly channel Homer Simpson with an “Mmmmmmm, poisonous chemicals…..”
Jun 8, 2010 at 11:02 pm rating: 11
#15
Nack
Leave a note on the soda can and leave it on the desk: “I was trying to kill myself, Duh.” Maybe add a post script: “And I’m trying to bury myself alive in garbage too, don’t throw my little can tomb away…”
The cake though, I have to defend, Mom might’ve been trying to kid right along with Rachel about it all being finally and completely over with. As a mother of a teenager, God, I want schooling to be over. Just.. over…And what better way to say it than with yummy real-sugar frosting!
Jun 9, 2010 at 12:34 am rating: 4
#16
HandyMarigolds
I wish I could sic the Wisconsonian mom on my colleagues’ stuff in the break room fridge. She could label everything with helpful descriptives like “constipation in a bottle” and “won’t really help you lose weight if you eat the entire box in one sitting.”
Jun 9, 2010 at 8:54 am rating: 5
#17
Nix
Madison, WI, you need to listen to dear old Mum on the Diet Coke issue. It is a little can of poisonous chemicals. Aspartame breaks down into formaldehyde and methanol in your body, known carcinogens. http://cancer.suite101.com/article.cfm/diet_sodas_and_cancer
Listen to your mother and switch to sparkling water if you need a carbonated fix!
Jun 9, 2010 at 12:11 pm rating: 3
#18
xindi
Rachel’s Mom graduated EARLY from the University of PA Notes, with a Masters, back in 1983.
Jun 9, 2010 at 1:31 pm rating: 6
#19
DensityDuck
A better note might have been “total rip-off, you’re paying twice as much for 2/3 the soda”.
Seriously–those mini-cans are RIDICULOUSLY overpriced.
Jun 9, 2010 at 5:39 pm rating: 3
#20
Bubby
That little can of poisonous chemicals was fucking delicious!
Jun 9, 2010 at 10:11 pm rating: 2
#21
ANR
One time my mom decided I didn’t call her early enough in the morning to wish her a happy birthday. So, she called me and left me a message wishing herself a happy birthday. She may be a year older, but she’s definitely not any more polite.
Jun 16, 2010 at 10:02 am rating: 1
#22
ANR
on my mom’s birthday she decided I didn’t call her early enough in the day to congratulate her and turning one year older. So, she decided to call ME and leave a message saying happy birthday to herself. It’s a voice note, and it’s passive agressive indeed.
http://www.thenextgreatgeneration.com/
Jun 16, 2010 at 10:11 am rating: 0
#23
tristan
re pic 2: My dad owned a general store in Victoria, Australia for a while, i still remember the Coke rep suggesting we use the expired diet coke as weed killer…
Jun 22, 2010 at 3:39 am rating: 0
#24
Wednesday
My parents also got me a passive-aggressive cake when I finally graduated with a B.A. after seven years and four colleges at the age of 28. It said “At Last” and I’m sure they thought they were being terribly original.
Jun 24, 2010 at 10:17 pm rating: 1
#25 Warning: Take my last Diet Coke from the fridge and I WILL cut you. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] don’t ever condone passive-aggressive note-writing, but you should be warned: hard-core Diet Coke drinkers do not fool around. (Trust me — I’m a recovering addict [...]
May 11, 2011 at 12:22 pm rating: 0
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