Dear Dad, I hate you less than the other parental unit. Happy Father’s Day!

June 17th, 2010 · 57 comments

“My daughter is six and hyper after school,” writes Shannon in Jacksonville, North Carolina. “One day, I told her to go outside and play, but she wanted to watch TV.” Later, while cooking dinner, Shannon found this Magna-doodled on the fridge.

I love Daddy more than you Mom

After being forced into a similar “bad cop” role, Maria in Long Beach, California found this message from her nine-year-old son on the patio.

I like dad better

Meanwhile, our submitter in Pennsylvania found this in a journal her nine-year-old daughter was throwing away. Interestingly, she says, “There was no ‘I HATE daddy’ written on the next page.”

The next page that says I HATE Daddy isn't true at all.

related: Daddy’s little smartass

 

FILED UNDER: Father-daughter notes · kids · Moms & Dads


57 responses so far ↓

  • #1   park rose bang

    Notewriter number three forgot to mention the invisible ink.

    Jun 17, 2010 at 10:47 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   QuarterRoy00 bang

    Daddy represent!

    Jun 17, 2010 at 10:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   TheOldSchool bang

      My children would never have written stuff like the examples shown above.

      They would just come to me with their complaints. I’d squat so that I was down at their level, looking at them face to face. As they talked, I’d make it clear to them that I was carefully listening to everything they had to say.

      After they finished their rants, I’d tear up a bit and with a catch in my voice, I’d tell them that they were absolutely justified in their abhorence of Mommy and everything she stood for.

      Sometimes, the kids would look at me somewhat dubiously, but then I’d calmly erase any doubts they had by stating: “Mommy is just an ignorant, butt-faced witch, whose only pleasure in life comes from drinking too much alcohol and being mean to kids.”

      After a pause, I’d smile and exclaim: “But Daddy still loves you!”

      As I stood up, the kids would gleefully hug my legs. Then I’d shout out the magic question: “Who wants to go with Daddy to buy ice cream . . . just for us — and not for Mommy?”

      Sweet times.

      Jun 18, 2010 at 12:01 am   rating: 98  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   john

      TOS u r still my phrickin hero

      Jun 20, 2010 at 8:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   park rose

    It seems that note three was also written under the tutelage (perhaps forced?) of Foghorn J., I say, Foghorn J. Leghorn.

    Jun 17, 2010 at 10:56 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Parker

    I’m impressed that the nine year-old spelled “better” correctly.

    Jun 17, 2010 at 10:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   park rose bang

      See the effort that went into note two? That’s no scribble of passion. I bet that Maria’s son had calmed down by the time he’d finished writing “like”, but was so taken with his graphic design skills that he had to see it through to the finish.

      Jun 17, 2010 at 11:29 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   TippingCows

      I’m not.

      Jun 17, 2010 at 11:41 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Cnecomicz bang

      He’s nine… what shitty education system does your nine year old go to? America?

      Jun 18, 2010 at 1:58 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Nahhh

      I bet he stomped all over that crack before he started writing, too. I hope Mother has a good orthopedist.

      Jun 18, 2010 at 7:49 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   infant tyrone bang

      Mothersbaugh better watch out for backstage ladders.
      Chalk spells have been known to be subject to typos.

      We are not here to sing.
      We’re here to kill the dove.

      Jun 18, 2010 at 11:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   debkatz

    I think it’s apparent that these little people have big futures at Hallmark cards.

    Jun 17, 2010 at 11:10 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   TheOldSchool bang

    Sometimes kids say things they don’t really mean.

    Jun 17, 2010 at 11:31 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   infant tyrone bang

      OMG, you’ve gotten hold of the Linkletter samizdat where he admits that.
      Whoever gave it to you was supposed to get you to swear a blood oath that you would not reveal any of Art’s secrets until he’d been dead for a year.
      If it was their mistake, get back to them and make sure they don’t break any chain letters until the end of May next year, just to be safe.
      If it was your bad, then, well, you know whatcha gotta do.

      Jun 18, 2010 at 3:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Kim

    the first 2 don’t look genuine to me. Not sure why I think that. Just a hunch. Maybe I’m wrong.

    Jun 17, 2010 at 11:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Lifetimegypsy

      I know for sure that #1 is real.She is my niece and frequently exspresses herself through written word… Oh, to remember the day when you only thought these things or deffiently whispered them under your breath, never leaving obvious evidence like this… kids have it too easy now a days! :)

      Jun 20, 2010 at 9:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    We dads get so much love on allowance day, but when our loving children grow up and become successful, they all would like to buy their mom a house, say “Hi Mom” or thank their mother when interviewed.

    Jun 18, 2010 at 12:02 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   eslinger bang

      That’s because men don’t give birth to the children. When you sit in labor for 12 hours and 49 minutes (or more!), then you will (maybe) get a house.

      Tiger Woods has always given props to his Pops, and look how well he’s turned out. ;)

      Jun 18, 2010 at 12:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Nahhh

      Just 12 hours?? Lucky!!

      ETA: (Oops, missed the “or more,” sorry. Still…LUCKY!)

      Jun 18, 2010 at 7:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    Dad is loved because Mom has to say no, but there’s a price to pay.

    Mother’s Day gift idea TV commercials are run by Jewelry stores and diamonds are pushed as a girls best friend.
    Father’s Day gift ideas seem to be run by Sears, power tools and gas grills are the order of the day.
    Might as well get on the Fixing Stuff Around the House and Cooking Dinner Express.

    Jun 18, 2010 at 12:07 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   JetJackson

      If only they knew you wanted diamonds CB!

      Jun 18, 2010 at 1:22 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   TheOldSchool bang

      I’d be happy with a small bouquet of daffodils and a gentle pat on the rump if I knew that flowers were all that my 18-year-old son could afford.

      Obviously I wouldn’t expect him to skimp out on his personal necessities, such as pot, booze, foreign cigarettes, coffee bars, concerts, cds, magazines, and items of curiosity chosen for ironic reasons.

      Jun 18, 2010 at 2:22 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Canthz_B bang

      Sure I want diamonds, Jet. Not only am I dazzled by sparkly things, but they fetch more at the pawn shop than I got for that Dremmel power tool the day after Father’s Day last year!

      Jun 18, 2010 at 7:41 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   Bill LAChance

      If Hallmark and the fucking Debeers cartel deem it necessary that I get the ol fishwife a diamond for every hearts and flowers holiday then she can drop a few bills and get me another firearm or Vegas trip. That is my new policy, diamonds for guns or STFU.

      Jun 18, 2010 at 9:14 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   infant tyrone bang

      I want my MTV… or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bIckY5em_Y ?

      Jun 18, 2010 at 9:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   debkatz

      Moms get “special” stuff because, to paraphrase Louis C.K., when you pass people thru your vagina and they step all over your dreams and you’re still standing after that, you deserve the very best.

      Jun 18, 2010 at 10:17 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   Bill LAChance

      Whaaaa whaaaaa whaaa.
      “they step all over your dreams” :shock:
      You deserve the very best therapy.

      Congrats you have a vagina, here’s a cookie.

      Jun 18, 2010 at 10:54 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   darn it

      hey insensitive jerk, try passing the football through your anus and then come talk to me. ok? I will you even bigger cookie

      Jun 18, 2010 at 11:00 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   infant tyrone bang

      Maybe if they step all over your dreams you deserve the very best in parenting education before you pass another football into the world.*

      BLAC, you may’ve pushed the “grey gym sock” bit past its intended point. I don’t think Hicks meant to deny the pain of childbirth. Y’all decide.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gqtcb66Yeyo&feature=related

      And the both of yuhz, a measly fucking cookie ??
      I wouldn’t settle for less than Chateaubriand or at least a steak Diane.
      Weekly !

      * Corollary to Carlin’s advice to people kvetching that
      “their needs aren’t being met”…So change your fucking needs !

      Jun 18, 2010 at 12:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.10   Bill LAChance

      Hey Whiny cumdumpster try putting up with incessant, oh poor me I am a victim, overly developed sense of entitlement everyday then don’t come see me. I have already heard your kind. Get off the pole and get a real job.

      Jun 18, 2010 at 1:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.11   Mo®

      I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.
      My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.

      Jun 18, 2010 at 1:35 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.12   infant tyrone bang

      Mo,
      I’m not some men, just one, and I heartily commend your vagina art. Bring it on.

      For everybody here at Chez (Revolution thread) #9 (and #8.1)…
      You say you want a revolution
      Well, you know
      We all want to change the world
      , etc.

      So, (Mongolian thinking hats on!) what if men were delivery vehicles ?
      Yes, abortion would be a sacrament, and,
      there would be a whole lot more sex, but,
      there would be virtually no unprotected sex, so,
      AIDS would be limited to the current affected population, and,
      there would be waaaaay fewer new mouths to feed, and,
      Hell, capitalism might even become a sustainable way of life.

      (Well, maybe not the last…anyone care to dispute any of the first five?
      OK, so AIDS might linger…but it would quickly go the way of smallpox.)

      Jun 18, 2010 at 4:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.13   Canthz_B bang

      Having witnessed the births of my daughters, I have the utmost respect for women doing what comes naturally. Well, naturally except for the epidural nerve block.

      It’s high time someone reminded these kids that mommy couldn’t make a baby with an egg alone. They may owe their birth to mom, but they owe their lives to dad. ;-)

      Jun 18, 2010 at 11:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.14   darn it

      You know CB I did not use epidural for the birth of my son (I could not, believe me or I would not have minded even horse tranquilizer.) but if you pass the football through your anus with the help of epidural I won’t judge you. ;) Not that birthing a baby entitles mothers to be more important than fathers but when men wave it casual when they don’t have that experience it’s maddening.

      Jun 19, 2010 at 1:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.15   much to my chagrin

      Mo, I’m sending a white Russian, a spliff, an unsoiled rug, and a tape of whale songs your way. I tip my sarsaparilla to you!

      Jun 19, 2010 at 2:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Nack

    You’re not a true parent until your kid has said “I hate you,” or any variant thereof. Then, you’ve done your service in this world!

    Jun 18, 2010 at 12:09 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Rubber Chicken

      Or has told you you’re being unreasonable after asking you for the fifty seventh time if they can have something/do something/go somewhere and you’ve said “No” for the fifty seventh time.

      Jun 18, 2010 at 11:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   infant tyrone bang

    Frank Zappa quote: If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they’re gonna murder you in your sleep.

    Get them involved in writing or art early instead of combat sports or “playing war”and maybe you’ll save your own ass in their teenage years.

    I’d much rather have a rage-fueled high-schooler draw down on me with a brush, pen, or piece of chalk than with a gun, knife, or garrote.

    Jun 18, 2010 at 12:31 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   FeRD bang

      I dunno… a murderous, maladjusted child with a weapon can kill you, sure… but a disgruntled, disaffected author can turn the whole world against you!

      I think it’s true what they say: The Sensitive, Artistic type is mightier than Daddy’s Little Psychopath!

      Jun 18, 2010 at 12:39 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   infant tyrone bang

      Yeah, there’s that to factor in…
      It might be easier to deal with a Charles Starkweather in your face than an angelic type who fabricates something to CPS while your back is turned.

      I’m just glad I don’t have either one to deal with.
      Otherwise, I might be looking for a Strangers on a Train collaborator.

      Jun 18, 2010 at 12:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   infant tyrone bang

    Note #3 could be a kid experimenting with logic after getting a fortune cookie slip that said “The statement on the other side is true” on one side and “The statement on the other side is false” on the other.

    But, all 3 notes have a bit of sweet and sour about them.

    Jun 18, 2010 at 12:36 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   FeRD bang

      You’ll be wanting another P-AN in an hour, tho!

      Jun 18, 2010 at 12:40 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   infant tyrone bang

      True + unprovable.
      Lemme have the Two Flavors kung pao…no, can’t stay, make it to Godel.

      itsbe: Three people got that…wish I had prizes, but I’m incomplete.

      Jun 18, 2010 at 9:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Blogmella bang

    For the first two, I’d just write underneath “He’s not your real Dad,” to freak them out.

    Jun 18, 2010 at 3:01 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   mamason bang

      I’d write “Remember that next time you’re hungry.”

      Jun 18, 2010 at 10:57 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Grimfool Reluctant

    Thumb up, but that could, of course, also freak out Dad. Many people, including many males, just do not appreciate Mom-sarcasm.

    Jun 18, 2010 at 6:05 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   infant tyrone bang

      Don’t forget to add many other Moms to that category.

      Jun 18, 2010 at 3:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   TheOldSchool bang

      welcome back, grimfool reluctant!

      Jun 18, 2010 at 8:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   jaywalke

    “Dear Spawn:

    I love your sister much more than you. You were a mistake.

    Love,
    Mumsey”

    Jun 18, 2010 at 7:49 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   doeseatoats bang

    I’ve discovered a note like this in my 10 year old son’s room. It was actually a song, titled “I Hate Mummy”.

    I hate Mummy.
    I hate Mummy.
    (music)
    I hate Mummy.
    I wish she would never die -
    So I could be alone…
    (spoken) – in heaven.

    I’ve got my precious budding emo in music lessons now.

    Jun 18, 2010 at 2:35 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   infant tyrone bang

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itLmPOtG2Hw

    Jun 18, 2010 at 6:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Balefulregards

    As I have said to my daughter

    “I write about it all, so you can’t catch me with some tell all autobiography.”

    And I have a note in which she tells her father he “DOES NOT ROCK” because he failed to OK ice cream.

    every kid hates their parents, and every parent hates their kid(s). Then we get over it and move on.

    Jun 19, 2010 at 4:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   TippingCows

    I always thought if your kid hates you, then you’re doing your job.

    Unless your kid is in their twenties and thirties – then you probably spent too much time being their friend when they were kids and left them bereft of any sense of how to exist in the Real World.

    (not to be confused with the woeful TV show that started the barrage of never-ending CRAP on TV today)

    Jun 19, 2010 at 4:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Some daughterly wisdom for Dad, on Father’s Day | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] Dear Dad, I hate you less than the other parental unit. Happy Father’s Day! [...]

    Jun 20, 2010 at 2:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Candice

    My opinion on number three: the daughter was in a loving mood towards her father but it occurred to the her that in the future the two of them would inevitably have differences.

    Realizing that in the midst of strong negative emotions she might write something she didn’t mean (based on past experiences), she decided to make her true feelings clear while she was in a more logical state of mind. She knows that the next time she writes “I HATE daddy” on a page it will not be literally true.

    She does not intend “the next page” to refer to the page immediately following the one shown above, but rather to a hypothetical page that will almost certainly be created in the future. Not passive aggressive at all! Just a back-asswards way of saying “I love daddy”.

    Jun 20, 2010 at 9:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Dear United Airlines, 5 Good Things About You Losing My Bag « Dean Waye

    [...] Dear Dad, I hate you less than the other parental unit (passiveaggressivenotes.com) [...]

    Sep 11, 2010 at 4:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   "We love you sometimes" | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] related: “Dear Dad, I hate you less than I hate Mom.” [...]

    Jun 17, 2011 at 4:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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