No donuts for you! | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

#1 H for Toy bang

Shouldn’t they just be glad people are coming to mass at all?

Jun 19, 2010 at 6:06 pm rating: 31 small thumbs up

#1.1 infant tyrone

If they don’t pull out of their pedophile-priest-induced PR fiasco of late, they’ll be lucky if they manage to attract a handful of neutrinos* to mass.

* Neutrinos =/= Choir castrati…those are neuterinos.

Jun 19, 2010 at 6:57 pm rating: 7
#1.2 TheOldSchool

The sign above reminds me of one of my ex-wife’s ungodly rants about my sexual etiquette.

I believed that once I’d put my offering into the basket, it was no sin for me to vacate the premises.

Jun 19, 2010 at 11:38 pm rating: 20
#1.3 thrall

Neutrinos have a tiny but non-zero mass.

Jun 20, 2010 at 11:00 am rating: 3
#1.4 Lori Ventola

Excellent neutrino/neuterinos comment — and thank you for notating it so we could fully appreciate it!! Seriously!

Jun 20, 2010 at 11:26 am rating: 2
#1.5 infant tyrone

Lori, thank you, too.

Thrall, yes, that’s why they’ll be lucky to get a handful. If they were after alpha particles, they wouldn’t need us humans…except for the money.
(Plus neutrino was the only doorway to the castrati joke.)

TOS, well, I trust you deposited in the customary receptacle and
did not make the mistake of getting all up in her faith about it.

Jun 20, 2010 at 12:31 pm rating: 1
#1.6 Some Guy

It actually reinforces my belief that I must be in the right faith when I am confronted with the lack of class and immaturity displayed by the average Catholicism basher. Odd that I don’t like molesting little boys, maybe I’m the outlier in the single Christian denomination that includes something like 20% of the entire world (total population, not just the Christians). Though, I’m guessing that the reason the Catholic Church gets slandered so vocally is because the Church is the face of Christianity, and the belief in the good of something beyond ourselves makes the not-so-good folks in this world very angry.

Jun 22, 2010 at 10:29 am rating: 6
#1.7 Dfresh

why should we settle for the small things. If we really have a passion to strive for God would we take the easiest and smallest possible method? Just do enough to get by?

Jun 29, 2010 at 2:42 pm rating: 0

#2 Widget

Actually, mass ends when the priest says “Ite missa est” (English: “It is sent” or more generally “This mass is ended, go in peace). The last song is not part of the mass.

My Catholic wife describes it as being excused from the dinner table.

Jun 19, 2010 at 6:08 pm rating: 35 small thumbs up

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#2.1 chestertonian

Widget, you really made my day. When I checked this I expected to see a ton of Catholic-bashing. Your comment was awesome and respectful. Thanks.

Jun 20, 2010 at 12:34 pm rating: 6
#2.2 HappyNat

Chest,

I agree.

That said Catholics suck.

Jun 21, 2010 at 7:23 am rating: 9
#2.3 mixitup

Hey Happy Gnat,
You have no idea how many blow jobs you just forfeited by telling every Catholic that she sucks. One thing for sure – she won’t be sucking you.

Jun 25, 2010 at 1:37 pm rating: 1

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#3 Pat

I can attest that more than a few people try to duck out of mass early, whether immediately after receiving communion, or before the recessional hymn is finished. And at least wherever I’ve attended mass, Catholics tend not to sing every single verse of the hymn, so the people departing early really aren’t saving much time. Perhaps they hope to beat the traffic in the parking lot.

As to the notion that the mass is officially over at the “ite missa est”/”Go in peace to love and serve the Lord”, that seems awfully legalistic. If there is a closing hymn, which is nothing more than a sung prayer, it is really bad manners to skip it or leave halfway through.

Jun 19, 2010 at 6:41 pm rating: 9 small thumbs up

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#4 recovering catholic

A lot of times we’d leave when the basket came around. Because my mom couldn’t handle that $25 a week in addition to their likker habit.

Jun 19, 2010 at 6:52 pm rating: 6 small thumbs up

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#5 amy

Why are they bothering to go at all if they don’t really want to be there? Seems pointless and there are better things a person could be doing with their mornings/weekends/whenever mass is. Like sleeping. Or spending time with their loved ones in a productive way. Or any number of other fun things.

Isn’t faith supposed to be a private matter between a person and their god? Not making a show of it for everyone else in public?

Jun 19, 2010 at 6:54 pm rating: 18 small thumbs up

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#5.1 Na

Community is a very important part of faith. So is the desire to be close to and get to know God better. So yes, faith is a personal thing, but no, it’s not exclusively a personal thing. Some people like to say so but it’s not what the early Christian church was about at all.

Jun 19, 2010 at 7:15 pm rating: 5
#5.2 amy

The people leaving early are unlikely to be after a stronger relationship with god. And by leaving early they would be missing out on the general chit-chat community-building type of things afterwards.

I agree with your point however, Na.

Jun 19, 2010 at 7:28 pm rating: 4
#5.3 Na

True. Church isn’t supposed to be about obligation. If your faith is more of a chore than anything else and you’re not interested in growing it, then you need to work on your faith or why bother going to church at all? And if the priest has to resort to guilt trips to keep his congregation interested, then maybe the priest needs to make some changes, too.

Jun 19, 2010 at 8:19 pm rating: 14
#5.4 Na

Although, if this is a communion service there might be people there who might not normally be at church but there to see their family member/friend’s kid/whatever do their first communion and just there to be a friend, which is fair enough I suppose, except that if I’m going to see the show out of friendship, then for the sake of friendship, I’m going to sit through the whole show, even if it bores me, because if it’s important enough for me to support the family for me to turn up in the first place, it’s important for me to do it properly.

Anyway, I find the community-building, chit-chat after the service one of my favourite things about going to church. I’m not Catholic but there’s been a couple of times when I’ve visited a Catholic church and disappointed to find everyone rushing out as soon as possible, because I was hoping to talk to a couple of people, and I found it quite sad. My own church some people hang around for over an hour afterwards talking and hanging out and sometimes gathers a group to go out for dinner afterwards (for the evening service)

Jun 19, 2010 at 8:28 pm rating: 1
#5.5 Pollyjenna

I went to church for so long because my Catholic guilt ran deep. I didn’t want to go but I felt too guilty not to. But, I was too guilty to ever leave early. Also, the church above is my mom’s church.

Jun 19, 2010 at 11:38 pm rating: 3
#5.6 TippingCows

It’s all dogmatic crap anyways. You could “worship” your god (although I would have my doubts about wanting to follow anyone that wanted to be worshipped – that is another tangent) anywhere and anytime. You can have strong “faith” even if you never attend church. At least, that’s what the J-man said in so many words. WWJD? He would be like HEY MAN let’s make this Sunday thing fun, ok? And stop gnawing at my flesh!

Jun 20, 2010 at 3:27 am rating: 7
#5.7 Canthz_B

But, if everyone were to worship God lovingly, faithfully and fully at home, wouldn’t the Church go out of business?

That’s right suckers. The Church is a business. They sell God and ever-lasting life. Best of all, they tell their customers that if they don’t buy their product they’ll burn in Hell for all eternity.
The Avoid Damnation Incentive Plan.
Tithe. God needs the money.

Didn’t you get a clue when they called you a flock of sheep?

Jun 20, 2010 at 4:46 am rating: 26
#5.8 Na

“You can have strong “faith” even if you never attend church. At least, that’s what the J-man said in so many words.”

Remind me, where and when did he say this?

Jun 20, 2010 at 6:05 am rating: 0
#5.9 Canthz_B

Jesus never attended a Catholic Mass. Do you question His faith?

If you want to question something, ask why a bunch of Gentiles want to worship a Jew.
Couldn’t find a savior of your own?

Jun 20, 2010 at 6:51 am rating: 10
#5.10 mamason

The bible says that we should fellowship with like minded people. The gathering of Christians is a very good thing.
The word “church” in the King James Bible, is tranlated from the Greek word, “ecclesia”, which means the chosen, the called, the elect. The true Christian church is it’s people, not the fancy buildings with the stained glass. We are the church.

And CB, you touch on the great mystery, the adoption, making gentiles joint heirs with Christ. It was the message Paul was sent out to preach. Luckily, we didn’t need to find a savior of our own. He found us.

True Christianity is, in our belief, the completion of, or perhaps more accurately, the continuation of the Jewish religion. It’s not seperate from.

And I don’t know if I’ve expressed this before, but all the lies and corruption of man have nothing to do with the truth of God. I find it so unfortunate that people blame God or deny the existence of God because of the messes people make. The folks at BP fucked up royally but you still believe in oil. The whole economic crisis doesn’t have you angry at money does it?

Jesus loves you, too!

Jun 20, 2010 at 12:58 pm rating: 10
#5.11 Canthz_B

Peter and Paul went out to preach because they knew a good thing when they saw it.
They knew there was money in the message (Thar’s gold in them thar pilgrims!), and knew how to sell that message effectively.
I’m not putting them down for it…it’s been a great success.

Mamason, with all due respect, if you think the Church is its people, why do you think it is that its people have so much trouble changing the Church?
The Church belongs to the hierarchy which runs it. It doesn’t change, significant dissent results in new branches of religion and their churches (and eventually their new hierarchies). Hardly ever reform of the mother church.
A phenomenon which pre-dates Christianity. You’d be hard-pressed to find a society without its high-priests, shamans or medicine men of some stripe.
They all prey on a universal human flaw…the need to believe that someone or something maintains order in their world. That and a fear of death and the unknown.

Yes, I believe in oil…I can buy gasoline.
I do not believe that putting one red cent into a collection plate can buy me immortality, but I do believe those collected red cents are buying someone, somewhere, something.

Jun 20, 2010 at 1:23 pm rating: 10
#5.12 mamason

I don’t believe that organized religion has a lot to do with The Truth and God’s Word, although I do believe that most clergy, regardless of denomination, entered “the church” with good and true intent. I was just sharing the tranlation of the word church. It’s not that I “think” the church is the people. Regardless of what I think, the word tranlated as church in the King James Bible is ecclesia, which by definition means the chosen or elect. As far as changing the church… I wouldn’t even try to touch on that here. Folks is folks,as my daddy used to say, and where ever there is folks, there’s going to be conflict and disagreement.

Jun 20, 2010 at 1:41 pm rating: 7
#5.13 infant tyrone

For non-believers and believers-who-recognize-the-inherent-problem-of-a-church-with-human-leaders alike, I commend by James Whittemore:

Sinai Tapestry
Jerusalem Poker

They present an alternative history of the writing of the Bible
which is hilarious, irreverent, and thought provoking.
Read “Tapestry” first as they are the first two of a four book series.
The 3rd and 4th are set in more recent times and are harder to find
for sale, although they occasionally pop up on Ebay or Half.com.

Jun 20, 2010 at 1:58 pm rating: 0
#5.14 Canthz_B

The Truth is that, assuming there is a God, NO ONE knows what God’s Word is.
We only know what we have been told by Man is God’s Word.

And The Word changes depending upon the needs of the men who profess to know the True Word.
Men who encourage “faith” and discourage “fact-seeking”. They encourage us to “…walk by Faith, not by sight.”

I prefer to keep both my eyes and my mind open. Faith discourages the open mind.
See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil…make no progress.
35 years ago in vitro fertilization was called “playing God”, now it’s called treatment of infertility.

We learn and grow.

Oh, HAPPY FATHER’S DAY guys!!!…You too, Lord!

Jun 20, 2010 at 2:10 pm rating: 8
#5.15 eli

The only way my mother could make us go was to promise we could leave after communion.

Jun 20, 2010 at 3:09 pm rating: 2

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#6 LS

It really is annoying to have people leave as the song starts or during it. Those pews are narrow, and the people trying to stampede out during the song in order to beat the parking lot traffic have to really wrangle around everyone standing for the song. It makes it impossible to just stand there with the book and sing. If you want to go to mass, go to mass. Stand there and sing the song. Ruining everyone else’s experience isn’t worth the couple of minutes you save by rushing out down the pew. It’s just simple courtesy that far too few people extend to the people around them.

Jun 19, 2010 at 7:05 pm rating: 9 small thumbs up

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#6.1 park rose

It is far better to leave mass en masse then, LS?

I remember walking my grandmother to mass. She had to turn around quick-smart because she was about to have a “little accident”. Maybe the poo is actually rushing out of those people rushing out of the pew, and though to be a martyr is a sought out position, I think I’d rather the church-goers extend their courtesy by not holding on and suffering for their faith. However, enduring such might give me some martyr brownie points, too.

Jun 19, 2010 at 8:04 pm rating: 7
#6.2 infant tyrone

rose,
Wow…that’s a jazzy new perspective on the Church’s early release phenomenon. I really like the way you (in an almost scatlike fashion) avoid using indecorous descriptors while keeping your eye on the fundamental issue.

If your pew poo theory is right (and far be it from me to pooh-pooh that), the parishioners who urgently squeeze past their pew-mates are doing all involved a great service, since staying put would make martyrs of them all.

It is an interesting to me that in this scenario “taking one for the team” can (and should) be done in private and, assuming a healthy diet and access to supplementary consumables, involves little if any pain or sacrifice.

Of course, like a fine Bordeaux’s chocolate and currant undertones, your story resonates with the parable of the Pharisee and the Publican, in that the early releasers, although they attract a certain and irreducible amount of attention, are more modest and outer-directed (maybe community oriented would be better?) than they at first appear.

Another overtone might be G.B. Shaw’s maxim:”Self-sacrifice allows us to sacrifice other people without fblushing.”

I’m trying to fit in the R. Hunter lyric We can share what we got of yours, ’cause we done shared all of mine, but it’s late, y’know…I mean, it’s not like I have to get up early to attend Mass or anything, but there must be some limit to this liturgical indulgence, so I’ll just leave it there on my way out, leave it there on the table, or maybe leave it, like a jilted bride or groom, standing alone at the altar.

Jun 19, 2010 at 9:09 pm rating: 2

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#7 becky

my very catholic mother used to complain about the “key jinglers” – aka the people who would find their keys right during the priests’ closing words in anticipation of their sprint to the parking lot. we had to stay until the very end of the recessional song. as a kid, i was always jealous of the jinglers.

Jun 19, 2010 at 7:10 pm rating: 10 small thumbs up

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#8 infant tyrone bang

“And kids, don’t forget to remind your parents that mass doesn’t end until after the closing song.”

Maybe
(a) he’s using hackneyed role-reversal psychology to guilt the parents.
(b) he’s doing (a) and also trying to genuinely empower the kids.
(c) he’s doing (a) + (b) because he likes ‘em feisty when they come in for the predictably private “special counseling” sessions.

Jun 19, 2010 at 7:12 pm rating: 3 small thumbs up

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#9 Tami

When my kids were in Catholic school we were required to attend mass every week. The church checked on this by keeping track of the donation envelopes. We would often wait to drop the envelope in the basket and then cut out.
Until we found out that they kept the basket guarded in the back of the church before it was used, after that we would just duck in before mass, drop the envelope and leave.

Jun 19, 2010 at 7:19 pm rating: 6 small thumbs up

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#9.1 Bamff

I have to ask: Why did you send your kids to Catholic School?

Jun 19, 2010 at 8:21 pm rating: 9
#9.2 Lisap

Bamff I would have asked the same but you did it for me.

I don’t really think much about you essentially bragging that you took advantage of a service offered by the church without (a) following the rules of the school you sent your children to or (b) making any effort to participate in the organization offering this service.

If you do not share the Catholic church’s beliefs, fine that’s obviously your own choice but find a school for your children that better reflects your values.

Jun 20, 2010 at 1:30 pm rating: 0
#9.3 infant tyrone

Bamff,
I was a Catholic kid in Catholic schools from 1956-1964.
Elementary + high school allowed non-Catholics to pay tuition and attend.
As I recall (through a glass or scanner, darkly), non-C’s were not pressured to attend Mass or other religious services (Rosary, Confirmation, etc.).
Things can differ from school to school, and the requirement in Tami’s comment may be something more common now than it was in my day.

Why people send their kids to Catholic schools has to do with at least two things that are, if not rigorously proven through field studies, then generally accepted in the education profession:
1) a higher level of education provided (measured any way you’d care to analyze it, from critical thinking in verbal-based areas to the insistence on more complete rote memorization of multiplication tables), and,
2) a more rigorous level of discipline (eschewing the pothole-filled road of “kids will be kids” for “kids will be students, and well behaved ones”).
And they perform this miracle in classes with 40 or more students.

To be sure, other private schools have similar reputations and demonstrated success rates, but they aren’t as prevalent or as easy to get to as your friendly neighborhood Catholic school.

Oh, yeah…there’s also the phenomena noted at #12 + #12.1.

P.S. I was a public school student for grades 10–12 and a public school teacher for about 10 years, so I’m experienced in both worlds. I’ve seen half a class in a public high school reach for their calculators when a teacher said “What would happen if we reduced XYZ by a factor of ten.”
In my Catholic school 7th grade class this would not have happened (if we had had calculators back then).”

Jun 20, 2010 at 4:06 pm rating: 2
#9.4 Canthz_B

All of my children spent some time in Catholic Schools at one time or another.
My oldest (first marriage) step-son in elementary school. I can’t complain about the educational content, but my ex-wife detested that she was required to work Bingo. I was put-off that not only were we charged for the after-school program (imagine paying nuns extra to make sure the children were safe until their parents got off work), but the fact that, when he was like eight-years-old, he was crying when I picked him up because they had a movie in the after-school, and he didn’t have a dime for a baggie’s worth of popcorn so he couldn’t have any…real Christian charity there. We made sure he had the Pope’s dime after that.
Both of my daughters, but they were ahead of the class and were asked to do work they already knew. Sister explained that it was best if all of the students progressed at the same rate, so we home schooled after that.
My younger step-son (second marriage) attended Seton Hall Prep for two years…had a devil of a time getting his transcripts when they found an outstanding balance of just about $200 on his 2 year-old account. They were more than willing to stop him from graduating from public high school until they saw some money (never mind the thousands they’d already gotten, nor that his mom was dieing and we had medical bills)…so much for what’s best for the child.

The number of Catholic schools closing in areas which cannot show a profit is sad. Mainly because these are the children most in need of the type of quality education Catholic schools know how to provide…but only at a monetary profit, not a spiritual profit.

But hey, business is business.

Jun 20, 2010 at 4:58 pm rating: 3
#9.5 TippingCows

Thanks for sharing this. Really interesting information about the different types of private education.
I went to a “Christian” school for the first four years of my elementary school education and the only thing I really liked was that I got to do the work at MY pace, which completely disappeared when the money ran out and I had to switch to public school. For whatever reason I was smarter than the other kids in my grades and got to do reading and writing with the groups a grade or two higher (and still wasn’t challenged) among other cool privileges I got as a “smart” kid.
In elementary school, we just had two separations: the smart to really smart and the lazy to not so smart. And I’m sure we’re all familiar with the way public school systems work now, which is primarily teaching kids how to pass state tests.
I’ll shut up now and stop tangentizing. Hey, look where my public school education got me – I make up NEW WORDS, man.

Jun 20, 2010 at 5:48 pm rating: 1

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#10 infant tyrone bang

Hey, parents, this isn’t casual Friday.
This is Sunday Mass.
There are rules.

DB’s stage moves paralleling Good Friday posture just a coincidence ?
You decide…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVHNwBbkSj4

Jun 19, 2010 at 7:24 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#11 Woman on the Verge bang

Why doesn’t the Catholic church just get the hint and add a drive thru window?

“Hi, I’d like 3 bodies of Christ meals with small bloods of Christ.”
“Say amen and drive to the first window, please.”

Jun 19, 2010 at 7:27 pm rating: 29 small thumbs up

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#11.1 infant tyrone

Hey WotV,

Drive thru window FTW.

Why go to Mass when you can get Mass to go ?

Jun 19, 2010 at 8:16 pm rating: 13
#11.2 park rose

Love it, WotV.
The Not So Happy Meals include your choice of a
- John the Baptist’s Head on a Plate watch,
- Judas hanging from a Judas tree key ring,
- Virgin Mary wristband (aka rosary beads) or a
- plastic Peter the Fisher of men fishing hook to reel them in. When you get tired of that, it converts to a rock to provide the kids with hours of wholesome entertainment.

Upsizing includes the father, son and holy spirit (don’t worry. He doesn’t add so many calories).

Jun 19, 2010 at 8:18 pm rating: 14
#11.3 infant tyrone

The watch, key ring, and wristband are solid as, well, as a rock.

The fishing Peter resonates with Ronco’s famous Pocket Fisherman,
which could present problems if kids refer to it as the Pocket Peter
(with hints of Pocket Pool). One short viral video with Little Timmy unzipping his jeans to reveal that merchandise, the next thing one knows, the Legion of Decency is at ones door (or WotV’s drive thru window). Better the Spanish Inquisition than that mob.

Of course, with some thickening (and maybe lengthening) of the rod of Ron Popeil’s famous tool, there might be a niche for it in the world of sex toys, or what Rickie Lee Jones, in a masterstroke of verbal re-purposing, referred to as articles of congress.

P.S. If XXX-shaped crosses, like that John the Baptist fellow, pave the way for Pocket Pete, I foresee the need to be ready for the emergence of a special, underground, Andres Serrano influenced, video depicting the man from Galilee washing the feet of the Apostles in a way that gives rise to a shocking new theory about the genesis of the phrase “The Golden Arches”.
Not a vision or a prophesy or anything, but just be ready.

Jun 19, 2010 at 10:25 pm rating: 1
#11.4 Canthz_B

And to think this all started with a mistranslation of the Aramaic.

Jesus and the Big Twelve were fucking around one night and someone (probably Thomas, but I doubt we’ll ever know for sure) did a Yo Mama joke about Mary.
Jesus laughingly replied, “Eat me! You’re bloody drunk off that cheap wine anyway!”

The rest is history.

Jun 20, 2010 at 5:40 am rating: 8
#11.5 infant tyrone

There might be some etymological tidying up remaining,
but I believe (that’s supposeta convey revival tent tone + volume)
CB has uncovered the genesis of the phrase “The Dozens”.

itsbe: And he’s uncovered a (new?) branch of linguistics: Hebronics.

Jun 20, 2010 at 12:00 pm rating: 2

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#12 infant tyrone bang

Anyone else noticing that a lot of comments on this note are verbose
(not redundant, just lengthy), and have generally excellent spelling, grammar, and punctuation ? (#7′s capitalization is so uniformly lacking that I’m willing to believe it’s some sort of E.E. Cummings phase.)

Jun 19, 2010 at 7:35 pm rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#12.1 ISpy

Most of the best spellers I know are Catholic school survivors.

Jun 19, 2010 at 7:43 pm rating: 4

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#13 ISpy

My god doesn’t take attendance or insist on donations. On the other hand, she/he might look askance at those who climb over Mabel’s walker and sprint to the back of the church in an effort to get the first doughnut or to avoid the creepy, unsanitary priestly handshake. But only because it sends the wrong message.

Jun 19, 2010 at 7:48 pm rating: 8 small thumbs up

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#14 jq

When I was younger, I went to Mass at quite a few churches that had the sign, “Judas was the first person to leave mass early.” I have to say that I found it pretty creepy (as I walked out the door).

Jun 19, 2010 at 7:54 pm rating: 22 small thumbs up

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#15 Jen

I just want to know what church it was. Ha ha ha! Cause there used to be a pastor at our church who made it his mission to humiliate anyone leaving early from mass and I know he is a priest now in Vienna, VA. Anyone know what church the original post is in reference to?

Jun 19, 2010 at 8:17 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#15.1 Kimmy

I suspect it’s St. John Newman from what little I can see in the photos. I have tons of friends who go there, but I’m afraid to point any of them here to confirm .

Jun 21, 2010 at 4:58 pm rating: 0

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#16 pilgrimchick

Nothing is more entertaining than an snippy priest. Yey for a hefty helping of Catholic guilt!

Jun 19, 2010 at 10:35 pm rating: 9 small thumbs up

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#16.1 infant tyrone

I thought snippy clerics were a Jewish thing.
They sure have a sharp edge, but I guess there’s no corner on the market.
So, no reason to make a mountain out of a mohel-hill.

Jun 19, 2010 at 10:52 pm rating: 6

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#17 becky

imma start my own former catholic rap group – guilty by nature.

anyone here want to join?

Jun 20, 2010 at 7:48 am rating: 3 small thumbs up

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#17.1 infant tyrone

I’m verbally committed to performing with Original Sinnaz.
No binding contract or anything…just a “gave my Word” thing.
I’d switch, but there’s a substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
Just getting jumped into the group nearly got me drowned.
I’m afraid getting jumped out might be the death of me.

former Catholic sounds like ex-CIA or ex-mafia
Only those doorbell ringers have a Witness protection program…

Jun 20, 2010 at 11:49 am rating: 4

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#18 shwonline bang

When I feel like I’m about to leave a mass early, I start running to the men’s room.

Jun 20, 2010 at 10:58 am rating: 5 small thumbs up

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#19 MomMKL

Thanks for the chuckle – I needed that!

Jun 20, 2010 at 11:57 am rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#20 Lisap

We have the same issue at our church. It irritates my priest to no end that people insisted on leaving after communion instead of staying the extra 5 minutes it takes him to finish the mass. Especially in the winter when the large church doors bang loudly as people open and close them. My siblings and I were always taught that you were never to leave your pew until the priest and the rest of the procession had exited as a sign of respect.

On top of any mass related etiquette, consider it in terms of any other public event, such as a community play or school concert: anyone getting up to leave 5-10 minutes before the end and disrupting everyone around them while being in plain sight of the organizers of the event presumably because they want to beat the rush in the parking lot or because they cannot possible spare the time to stay until the end would be, at least in my opinion, exceptionally rude.

I don’t think mass should be any exception, if you can find the time to attend you should be able to stay until the end.

Jun 20, 2010 at 1:21 pm rating: 5 small thumbs up

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#20.1 infant tyrone

On top of any mass related etiquette, consider it in terms of any other public event

I’m with you on church services, school plays, etc.
Hopefully you’d be open to a special dispensation for people leaving early in the event of their college or pro sports team getting blown out.
The team and coaches have to stay until the bitter end, but fans should not have to suffer any more than the deep disappointment they feel.
“Suffer the little rooters to head for the parking lot.” ?

Jun 20, 2010 at 1:48 pm rating: 2
#20.2 Lisap

I hadn’t really considered sports events. The University I attended did not do well in any particular sport and the student involvement was even more lack-luster, and the only way you can see a pro team play is if you make a weekend trip to see a game in another (much larger) city. Though the hockey game never seems overly disrupted when I decide to give up and shut the TV off so I guess I could allow those watching in person the same liberties…

Another exception I would make is parents that need to make it to multiple children’s concerts at different schools at the same time. All the schools we attended seemed to believe it would be easier for parents to clone themselves instead of actually co-ordinating events.

My parents had 6 children and between elementary, 2 jr. highs (in the area I grew up there was a French immersion option which required you to attend a different jr. high) and senior high schools there were several years where we were attending 4 separate schools (there were actually 3 options for senior high schools depending on if you went to the one we were geographically designated to, the one that provided IB courses, and the all female school that provided fine art certificates, thankfully we all chose the closest one) This was complicated by the fact that we were all very involved students: debating, concert bands, jazz bands, drama, baseball, basketball, soccer, volleyball, etc all resulted in multiple academic, extracurricular, and athletic honour and award events at the end of the year plus band concerts. Even though there were only 2 schools in the entire school district affected by the French immersion issue and it was quite common for families to have siblings attending both schools, there was never any effort by either school to co-ordinate events to allow parents to attend both.

My mother was quite relieved when the elementary band conductor also became the conductor of the jr. high the majority of us attended and she decided she would combine any concerts the 2 bands would hold throughout the year (though 1/2 of us had moved on to senior high by this point). This stopped many parents from having to either pick which child they loved best or rush out of one concert earl to hopefully catch the end of the other.

Jun 22, 2010 at 4:57 pm rating: 0

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#21 eli

I guess this church wouldn’t approve of me standing in back and listening to Savage Love on my iPod, either? Sheesh.

Jun 20, 2010 at 3:15 pm rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#21.1 infant tyrone

If you mean Dan Savage’s podcast, then in the rear of the church…well, no.

Backstage, in the sacristy with dressed up altar boys and their mentor(s)…
well, that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish…’dja bring those poppers ?

Jun 20, 2010 at 4:38 pm rating: 0
#21.2 MZ

When I was younger, prior to becoming a former catholic, my family and I were in mass every single week. Sick or not, and always within the first three pews. There was no chance in hell that my sisters or I would dare leave before the priestly procession. But despite my suit and nicely combed hair I always had my Sony Walkman in my sport coat pocket. I ran the old GameBoy headphones down my sleeve and instantly the long and boring homilies were made more enjoyable with Slayer and Pantera tapes.

Jun 21, 2010 at 7:57 pm rating: 1

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#22 Sara

That’s genius! They should do something similar at sporting events, plays, etc. I HATE when people leave sporting events early! It’s even worse when you’ve paid to be there!

Jun 22, 2010 at 11:13 am rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#22.1 MZ

I also used the same techniques at my mother’s competitive choir concerts, and all through highschool

Jun 23, 2010 at 9:23 pm rating: 0

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funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

Just a friendly reminder from God

June 19th, 2010 · 68 comments

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