“So, this note was left in my mailbox (along with those of our other neighbors, I assume) back in March,” says our submitter in Connecticut. Although this one starts with out with seems like run-of-the-mill suburban blahblahblah, the second paragraph throws out a hell of a curveball.
“To be honest, I’m surprised the notewriter hasn’t taken to the street with a megaphone, demanding that the cowards who called the Health Department show themselves,” our submitter says. No such luck, however. ”My wife and I are dying to know who the snitch was,” he says, “but we’ve been left hanging!”
He adds: “I’ve considered mailing the writer an anonymous note stating that, strictly speaking, leaving notes in our mailboxes without paying postage is a violation of federal law. You know, just to throw some fuel on the fire.” (I’d say submitting the note to this note is probably good enough.)
related: Thanks for your concern, but you have no idea what you’re talking about.

91 responses so far ↓
#1
Cnecomicz
Those mosquito larvae killer tablets were fucking delicious.
Jun 21, 2010 at 6:35 pm rating: 48
#2
jfruh
SNITCHES GET STITCHES
Jun 21, 2010 at 6:35 pm rating: 31
#3
much to my chagrin
Sounds like someone won’t be invited to next year’s pool party.
Jun 21, 2010 at 6:39 pm rating: 18
#4
shesajem
wooo that politely written note would have had the culprit squirming in his pants!
Jun 21, 2010 at 6:52 pm rating: 2
#5
Ashley in CT
Oh, come on, don’t send *a* letter to them. Send several, using different fonts and formatting, and mail them on different dates. That way, they can be freaked out knowing that, even if only one person contacted the town, the whole street’s after them. Paranoid neighbors aren’t any fun unless you play with them.
Jun 21, 2010 at 7:00 pm rating: 58
#6
Quite Contrary
Sounds like Martha Stewart to me.
Jun 21, 2010 at 7:04 pm rating: 3
#7
Woman on the Verge
I hope he rents a billboard to “publish” the culprit’s name… since it will be a matter of public record and all.
Jun 21, 2010 at 7:07 pm rating: 21
#8
Resident Grammarian esq
And of course, if his house were on fire I wouldn’t dream of snitching either
Jun 21, 2010 at 7:34 pm rating: 22
#9
libiblio
SNITCHES IN DITCHES (ditches with standing water and mosquito larvae)
Jun 21, 2010 at 8:19 pm rating: 11
#10
G
Whatever will he do, if the complaint was made anonymously?
Jun 21, 2010 at 8:23 pm rating: 9
#11
rex
Also, technically speaking, FOIA doesn’t apply to local or state governments–only the feds. So good luck with that.
Jun 21, 2010 at 8:46 pm rating: 9
#12
Rillion
Submitter in Connecticut sounds like a dick for wanting to add “fuel to the fire,” as does the original neighbor who thought it was his/her business to report someone for what was going on in their own backyard pool.
Jun 21, 2010 at 9:19 pm rating: 4
#13
hannaho
Rex — FOIA would apply here, many states have adopted their own versions of FOIA, including Connecticut, in which this incident took place.
Jun 21, 2010 at 9:52 pm rating: 0
#14
Canthz_B
Maybe it’s just me, but doesn’t reporting the name of a snitch expose one as both a snitch and a crybaby?
He’s probably a damned Indian-giver with the Cooties too!
Jun 21, 2010 at 10:51 pm rating: 9
#15
We shall speak anon
This sounds like something out of a John Cheever story. I bet the pool snitch was Neddy Merrill!
Jun 21, 2010 at 11:23 pm rating: 0
#16
Woman on the Verge
It’s obvious why they reported this guy. Would you report a person who is clearly insane? Festering stagnant swamp water in the pool + intelligently written yet creepily threatening note = Psychopathic killer
Jun 22, 2010 at 6:14 am rating: 20
#17
me
Guess what?
By him putting the note in the mailbox(s)— um, that’s a Federal offense. Seriously, it is.
So, should someone report HIM? haha
Jun 22, 2010 at 7:27 am rating: 0
#18
Angela
I would love it if the person who filed the complaint listed their name as Ben Dover. That would make for a great follow up note.
Jun 22, 2010 at 8:14 am rating: 6
#19
Edwina the Defrocked Nun
I’m glad we don’t have any real problems, like, IEDs, drones in civilian areas, and a thriving drug trade. Oh, wait, we do have a thriving drug trade. I’m glad we don’t have IEDs.
(not to be confused with IUDs)
Jun 22, 2010 at 8:16 am rating: 10
#20
Julie
“I’m going to file a FOIA Request” has become the new battle cry of the American Dumbshit.
Jun 22, 2010 at 10:34 am rating: 12
#21
Jenni
The best part is that no one may have ‘reported’ them. Above-ground pools are VERY common in our neighborhood, and mine is right in the middle of a row of 3 of them.
Once they acquired those tablets last year, the agency knew about their pool, and they’ll probably be visited forever now!
The Health Dept. came out a few years ago (right as West Nile was coming around) with the same story. Thing is – I actually answered the door in my suit and a towel! Once they confirmed we had a pool, they’ve been out every year, with the same ‘someone reported a unused pool in the area. . .” story and asked to see ours. Which has always been up and in use, along with all the neighbors visible from the second story balcony.
Jun 22, 2010 at 2:12 pm rating: 3
#22
Postman Pat
Why would you have to pay postage on a hand delivered note? Postage covers the cost of the postal service handling it, surely?
Jun 22, 2010 at 5:24 pm rating: 0
#23
Amber Rae
If he’s going to go through the trouble of filing the Freedom of Information Act for the name of the person, I don’t doubt he wouldn’t also hire some private investigator or call the cops to complain about harassment.
Jun 22, 2010 at 9:02 pm rating: 0
#24
courtney
“I’ve considered mailing the writer an anonymous note stating that, strictly speaking, leaving notes in our mailboxes without paying postage is a violation of federal law. You know, just to throw some fuel on the fire.”
Do it! And then submit the results. If nothing else, should be fun to watch.
Jun 23, 2010 at 8:14 am rating: 6
#25
Procrastinateher
I was going to comment on how petty American neighbours are, but then I remembered how we (in Oz) had to install a drain and pump system because our downhill neighbours get a soggy yard after it rains. Only because they complained, that is. But at least we don’t have any Home Owners Association?
Jun 24, 2010 at 6:33 pm rating: 2
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