I am embarrassed for you!

June 22nd, 2010 · 62 comments

If the writer of this public service announcement had Angela‘s gall, she would have printed up flyers and handed them out to offenders in person. Instead, she (and yes, I’m making the outrageous assumption here that it’s a she) just posted it in the elevator of her Columbia University dorm…without spell-checking her work first. People, seriously?

Unless, of course, this was all part of a larger prank pairing the phone number of some unsuspecting victim with this oh-so-compelling pitch (“learn how this will improve your LIFE + GRADES”) and placing it within easy firing range of drunk college students. Then, well…then you’d be an even bigger arsehole.

People, Seriously! You Dress Like SLOBS I am embarrassed For You! [Phone number redacted] (when calling, always begin with reading the sign) Questions on how to dress better and to learn how this will improve your LIFE + GRADES

related: A little advice for the ladies

FILED UNDER: attire · bad sales pitch · college life · New York · spelling and grammar police · Too good to be real? · unsolicited feedback


62 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Twez

    It must be early in the semester if this is all she has to be bitchy about. Has no one yet puked in the hall and left it?

    Jun 22, 2010 at 4:10 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   RandyinReno

      Or defecated in the showers?

      Jun 23, 2010 at 12:52 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Rubber Chicken

      Or in the elevator?

      Jun 23, 2010 at 12:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Woman on the Verge bang

    So, when you call you have to start with, “People, seriously! You dress like slobs!”? Why does this sound like a set-up?

    Jun 22, 2010 at 4:18 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Flaboy2425

    Well if she’s embar(e)assed, when is she on the elevator?

    Jun 22, 2010 at 4:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      It’s college.

      Jun 22, 2010 at 4:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Mo® bang

      Did you kiss a girl?

      Jun 22, 2010 at 4:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Mark bang

      She’s on the elevator livin’ it up when she’s goin’ down.

      Jun 22, 2010 at 4:43 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Mo® bang

      It’s collage.

      Jun 22, 2010 at 4:44 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Woman on the Verge bang

      As long as it isn’t decoupage. That shit pisses me off.

      Jun 22, 2010 at 5:56 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   beanster

      can it be montage? i love a good montage.

      Jun 22, 2010 at 8:18 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   sleeps

      We’re gonna need a montage!

      Jun 22, 2010 at 8:50 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Buffy: I’m just worried this whole session’s gonna turn into some training montage from an eighties movie.
      Giles: Well, if we hear any inspirational power chords, we’ll just lie down until they go away.

      Jun 23, 2010 at 1:17 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Rossy

    I would really love some lessons on appearance from the creator of this atrocity.

    Jun 22, 2010 at 4:42 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Kay

      People, Seriously!
      You Make Signs Like
      SLOBS

      Jun 22, 2010 at 6:01 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   The Great Joe Bivins

    I am more annoyed at the Inconsistent CAPITALIZATION Scheme than anything else. Also the first sentence is a fragment.

    Jun 22, 2010 at 5:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   shwonline bang

      No, the first sentence is the title of the sequel to “Love, Actually”.

      Jun 22, 2010 at 5:39 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Mark bang

      Linguo: Sentence fragment.
      Lisa: “Sentence fragment” is also a sentence fragment.
      Linguo: [shifts eyes around] Must conserve battery power. [shuts himself down]

      Jun 22, 2010 at 5:42 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   oi bang

    If her dressing sense is analogous to that note then she would be the worst offender in the college. This ugly note has random mix of small and capital letters, inconsistent font size and totally inefficient use of space. It’s like pairing blue and white plaid miniskirt with a black and white checkered blouse and of course knee high yellow-red clown socks .

    Jun 22, 2010 at 5:50 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Sirius¤ bang

      Hey! I had a job interview that afternoon and didn’t have time to change!

      Jun 23, 2010 at 11:32 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   wright1

      It was those knee high yellow-red clown socks that sold us, Sirius. You should be hearing from Sandra in HR any day now…

      Jun 24, 2010 at 1:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Bunnee

    Exactly how does dressing better improve your grades? Does the professor begin to notice you for your snazzy wardrobe, then you start sleeping with him, thus improving your grade? It must be hell to start all that over when the new semester begins.

    Jun 22, 2010 at 6:40 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   H for Toy bang

      Maybe not so hard. Word gets around among the faculty about that sort of thing.

      Jun 22, 2010 at 10:13 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Canthz_B bang

      It could be hard. If you’re shaped like the Hindenburg there’s one department which may not be interested…which one was it again?…
      Oh! The Humanities!

      Jun 23, 2010 at 1:29 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Meesh

      CB, you’re on fire today!

      Jun 23, 2010 at 7:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Canthz_B bang

      Yeah, my career as a stand-up comedian is about to blow up! ;-)

      Jun 23, 2010 at 8:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Sirius¤ bang

      Appearing every Thursday at Sparky’s in Lakehurst, NJ!

      Jun 23, 2010 at 11:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   Sirius¤ bang

      I am embarrassed for me.

      Jun 23, 2010 at 11:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   Woman on the Verge bang

      Seriously? More cleavage = better grades. Basic College Math 101.

      Jun 23, 2010 at 11:59 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   infanttyrone

      How come the remedial course Basic College Math 101 has such a high percentage of males enrolled ?

      ‘Cause the girls learned all of that in high school.

      Jun 23, 2010 at 12:08 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   TeacherLady

    Who the hell is Willim Prove? The name sounds foreign.

    Jun 22, 2010 at 7:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   infanttyrone

    Maybe she left the 2nd ‘r’ behind in Guadalajara on her Junior year abroad.

    avergonzado = embarrassed
    embarazado = pregnant

    Quiza mamacita hacerse un poquito infermo en la manana ?

    Jun 22, 2010 at 7:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Embarazado

      Embarazado, Seriously?

      So guys can get pregnant????????
      I need to be more careful!!!!

      Jun 23, 2010 at 3:18 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Sirius¤ bang

      Maybe she left the 2nd ‘r’ behind in Guadalajara on her Junior year abroad

      And probably her ‘v’ as well.

      Jun 23, 2010 at 11:38 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   infanttyrone

      Oops, time for a new online translator…
      Lower shields and resume defcon zero.

      Prepare to launch a probe for that “v”.

      Jun 23, 2010 at 12:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   dave

      I am embarrassed for you infanttyrone.

      Jun 23, 2010 at 12:07 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   infanttyrone

      Well, Dave, thanks, I think.
      I know I’ve made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal.
      I’ve still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission.
      And I want to help you.

      Jun 23, 2010 at 1:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   Gladystopia

      Whoa–who let Stan McChrystal back in???? I thought the Secret Service was gonna confiscate his iPhone before they walked him out to his car…

      Seriously, dude. You’re still fired. Backpedal all you want–we’ve all read that Rolling Stone article.

      Jun 24, 2010 at 2:10 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   G bang

    Okay, this was a stupid thing to do for any group, but she did it to college students: people who tend to have a lot of time and motivation to make mischief. And she GAVE OUT HER PHONE NUMBER.

    Probably: either she had to get her cell number changed, or the people in that dorm will be getting unsolicited calls for years.

    Jun 22, 2010 at 8:35 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   harper

    i bet this same person thinks “natty dresser” is an insult to someone.

    Jun 22, 2010 at 8:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Bridget

    I thought that Blair Waldorf doesn’t start at Columbia until *next* year…

    Jun 22, 2010 at 9:25 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Canthz_B bang

    Proper dress is essential to good classroom performance.

    I know this because in elementary school my teachers always used to tell us to put on our thinking caps.

    Jun 22, 2010 at 11:40 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   bowloftoast bang

      I didn’t have a cap, so I put on my thinking codpiece.

      Jun 23, 2010 at 12:27 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    People, Seriously!

    You Dress Like SLAVS

    You are some wild and crazy guys!!

    Jun 23, 2010 at 1:20 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   jaywalke

    I work on a college campus, and some of the students do dress like slobs.

    Thankfully, most of the women dress like sluts. It’s a sort of un-published benefit to balance out the crap pay. I claimed “random crotch flashes” on my tax return this year.

    Jun 23, 2010 at 9:36 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Kimmpie

      I work in a middle school & it’s pretty much the same…only a lot more icky! :P

      Jun 23, 2010 at 12:07 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   ISpy

    I detect the decided lack of every-day college dorm vocabulary, calling the origins of this note into question: annoying, retarded, moron, awkward, whack — for starters. At Columbia, this would be a pathetic attempt by a freshman who was admitted thanks to mommy and daddy’s donations, at best.
    Me? I’m going with a 7th grade girl at a high-brow boarding school with no weed to smoke on a Friday night and the phone number of the fat kid next door. Those bitches never change.

    Jun 23, 2010 at 11:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   oi bang

      ISpy=Claw74

      Jun 23, 2010 at 11:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Sirius¤ bang

      “I’m going with a 7th grade girl” gave it away.

      Jun 23, 2010 at 11:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   jinx

    Team note writer. I’m glad to be out of college. People would show up to class so badly dressed, and not showered O O, that many of my professors had to give lectures on proper dress for the work force. I laughed my ass off when some of my “classmates” sat there with there mouths hanging open as they learned you can’t wear jeans in the corporate world. I wish people, of all ages, would put some thought into the clothes they wear. Slapping on some make up wouldn’t hurt either, but that’s another note. *Gets paper and marker*

    Jun 23, 2010 at 11:28 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   TheSnarkShark

      I wear jeans to work every day in the corporate world. That all depends on the climate and culture of the business. I know plenty of people who dress nice but have the IQ of a dying gnat.

      Jun 24, 2010 at 12:24 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   jinx

      I love how you’re kind of admitting wearing jeans isn’t dressing nice. LOL I bet you’re one of the idiots who think “designer jeans” makes them better for corporate world. Honestly, after going to college, if I ever landed a job where I had to/it was accept to wear jeans, I’d slit my wrists. Yes, I’m elitist.

      Jun 24, 2010 at 5:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   i'm not cary grant

      shallow people are fun.

      Jun 24, 2010 at 5:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Mark bang

      …for me to poop on!

      Jun 24, 2010 at 5:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   i'm not cary grant

      or to be pooped on by.

      Jun 24, 2010 at 5:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Mark bang

      Only if you’re Chuck Berry.

      Jun 24, 2010 at 5:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   i'm not cary grant

      peeshaw, poop is fun for the whole family.

      Jun 24, 2010 at 5:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   becausepeopleareidiots

    nothing like catty private school students to remind us why we suck. I hope her dorm-mates prank-called the hell out of that number.

    Jun 23, 2010 at 12:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   The Elf

    It’s a college dorm. You know, where you live when you are going to school? I don’t know about the rest of you but I tried to save dressing to the nines for evenings out, not evenings in. People, Seriously!

    Unless it’s a really special evening in…..

    Jun 23, 2010 at 1:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   lownote

      I prefer to not dress at all for those special evenings in…but I guess that could be embarrassing in a college dorm ;)

      Jun 23, 2010 at 2:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   The Elf

      I have special outfits for special evenings in. I assure you, they aren’t slobby at all. So they ought to be okay for walking around a co-ed dorm, right?

      Jun 24, 2010 at 10:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   marker

    testing

    Jul 6, 2010 at 12:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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