Entries from June 2010
If the writer of this public service announcement had Angela‘s gall, she would have printed up flyers and handed them out to offenders in person. Instead, she (and yes, I’m making the outrageous assumption here that it’s a she) just posted it in the elevator of her Columbia University dorm…without spell-checking her work first. People, seriously?
Unless, of course, this was all part of a larger prank pairing the phone number of some unsuspecting victim with this oh-so-compelling pitch (“learn how this will improve your LIFE + GRADES”) and placing it within easy firing range of drunk college students. Then, well…then you’d be an even bigger arsehole.
related: A little advice for the ladies
Tags: attire · bad sales pitch · college life · New York · spelling and grammar police · Too good to be real? · unsolicited feedback
“So, this note was left in my mailbox (along with those of our other neighbors, I assume) back in March,” says our submitter in Connecticut. Although this one starts with out with seems like run-of-the-mill suburban blahblahblah, the second paragraph throws out a hell of a curveball.
“To be honest, I’m surprised the notewriter hasn’t taken to the street with a megaphone, demanding that the cowards who called the Health Department show themselves,” our submitter says. No such luck, however. ”My wife and I are dying to know who the snitch was,” he says, “but we’ve been left hanging!”
He adds: “I’ve considered mailing the writer an anonymous note stating that, strictly speaking, leaving notes in our mailboxes without paying postage is a violation of federal law. You know, just to throw some fuel on the fire.” (I’d say submitting the note to this note is probably good enough.)
related: Thanks for your concern, but you have no idea what you’re talking about.
Tags: Connecticut · MYOB · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Oops?
In lieu of a Father’s Day gift, Sarah in D.C. says her 13-year-old cousin posted this note on the front door of their house the night before, so her Dad could see it when got up this morning for her Sunday walk. “According to her, it’s the thought that counts anyway,” Sarah says. “I thought it was really sweet, but the post script is the best.”
related: Dear Dad, I hate you less than the other parental unit. Happy Father’s Day!
Tags: kids · Moms & Dads · p.s. · signed with love
Ann was leaving her niece’s First Communion at a Catholic Church in Vienna, Virginia when she noticed this sign. The icing on the post-mass doughnut, she says, was when the priest concluded his closing prayer with “And kids, don’t forget to remind your parents that mass doesn’t end until after the closing song.”
related: The PANtheistic approach
Tags: God · guilt trip · Northern Virginia
“My daughter is six and hyper after school,” writes Shannon in Jacksonville, North Carolina. “One day, I told her to go outside and play, but she wanted to watch TV.” Later, while cooking dinner, Shannon found this Magna-doodled on the fridge.
After being forced into a similar “bad cop” role, Maria in Long Beach, California found this message from her nine-year-old son on the patio.
Meanwhile, our submitter in Pennsylvania found this in a journal her nine-year-old daughter was throwing away. Interestingly, she says, “There was no ‘I HATE daddy’ written on the next page.”
related: Daddy’s little smartass
Tags: Father-daughter notes · kids · Moms & Dads
Chris found this not-so-nice note in the laundry room of his nice townhouse complex. What’s interesting here is how the author seems to undermine his or her own logic. (As Chris put it, “I know it’s really pathetic to steal a dryer sheet and a quarter, but really, is it that big of a deal?”)
If it’s not about the 25 cents, but rather, the principle of the thing, well…which is worse? To take a quarter from an empty laundry room, knowing that one of your neighbors left it there? Or to post a dick-ish anonymous note for all to see…instead of, say, keeping your damn quarters in your pocket like everybody else?
related: I know where you live, laundry thief
Tags: ellipses-crazed · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · grow up · I know who you are · karma's a bitch · laundry · message to all intended for one · money · neighbors · stealing · Tucson
Heather saw this car parked in her Takoma Park, Maryland neighborhood, while Heather spotted the truck below in New Orleans. Perhaps Stephanie and Michael can form a support group with Rene Hall?
related: You lied to me, Mr. Lundegaard.
Tags: car · graffiti · New Orleans · parking · Takoma Park
Although she’s embarrassed to admit it now, Kristi in Portland confesses that when she wrote this letter, at age 14, she felt oh-so-very-grown-up.
In retrospect, she says, the most ridiculous part — besides the charmingly pretentious tone throughout — is probably the self-made letterhead. “I guess I thought the frog made for a good personal logo or something,” Kristi says. ”To my credit, I didn’t send the letter anonymously…I included my full name (first, middle and last), my address, my phone number AND my e-mail address. I only left off my Social Security number!”
Adds Kristi: “My parents still live next door to these neighbors, and I avoid them to this day! Oh, and yes, they did try to keep their dogs indoors more after I sent the letter.”
related: Your to lazy
Tags: dogs · kids · neighbors · nice stationery · noise · Portland
Juliet from Los Angeles came upon this sign near the summit of a 12-km hike up Turrialba Volcano, in Costa Rica. “As I stared down into giant crater of the active volcano, dotted with sulfur pools, I realized the sign was right. Swimming in those pools probably wasn’t worth the expense.”
The dryly practical approach seems to be a popular one at tourist locations around the world — especially zoos, such as this one on Langkawi Island:
Meanwhile, this resort in the Bahamas adds its own whimsical twist:
related: You don’t need a cell phone to talk to God
Tags: Americans abroad · animal welfare · Bahamas · Costa Rica · Espanol · Malaysia · most popular notes of 2010 · smoking · that's irresponsible · tourists
Too busy to microwave your morning serving of saturated fat? No worries! If you’re a New Yorker, you can get your “special diet food” delivered right to your door. Or, um, your neighbors’ doors.
Our anonymous submitter can vouch for the note’s veracity. First of all, she says, the McDonalds is literally one block away from the apartment building. “But what’s worse,” she says, “is that the dude didn’t give his apartment number, so the delivery guy just started banging on random people’s doors and yelling ‘Scotty!’ in the hallway. At 7 AM!”
related: The time-tested “sausage, egg and cheese” diet
Tags: food · knocking · McDonalds · neighbors · New York · noise · thanks (but not really)