World Cup fans and great cats: together in vuvuzela disdain

July 3rd, 2010 · 43 comments

From South Africa, a non-passive-aggressive weekend bonus note!

I wouldn’t be surprised if this sign — from Cheetah rehab center near Capetown — was only posted after the recent demise of some hapless Darwin Award candidate. (One who thought blasting one of the most irritating sounds on earth in the face of a large predatory cat was a good idea.)

Please refrain from blowing vuvuzela's [sic] in or around Cheetah Outreach Facility. Kind Regards, Management

FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · animal welfare · apostrophe catastrophe · noise · South Africa

43 responses so far ↓

  • #1   park rose bang

    Spain or Germany? Nertherlands or Uruguay? Drunken soccer lout or cheetah? Step right up. Cast your votes. Put a thumb next to your choice.

    Jul 3, 2010 at 4:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Beanster bang

      Netherlands vs Germany in the final.

      Jul 3, 2010 at 9:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   park rose bang

      You’re probably right, and I think Germany will win, though they are not the team(s) I’m barracking for.

      Jul 3, 2010 at 10:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   wfa

      If the German team wins, it’s the Dutch people who’ll be the real winners as we’ll be rid of those fucktarded vuvuzelas.

      Jul 7, 2010 at 3:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Patrick1980SC

    Which item belonging to vuvuzela has one been blowing? Depending on the item, the cheetahs might enjoy the show.

    Jul 3, 2010 at 4:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Awesome Man!

      As weird as it sounds, the plural of the “musical” instrument vuvuzela really does have an apostrophe.

      Jul 3, 2010 at 4:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   infant tyrone bang

      I’m careful about alienating our Egyptian mau/Bengal 2-year old cat.*
      I’d do serious research before assuming the cheetahs are just voyeurs.
      A jealous jungle cat could spoil your whole day at the zoo.


      Jul 3, 2010 at 8:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   cunning linguist

    I think that kind of blatant sexual activity should be kept out of public places altogether.

    Jul 3, 2010 at 4:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   park rose bang

      Viva vuvuzela!

      Jul 3, 2010 at 5:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   infant tyrone bang

      Hugo Chavez and crew lucked out one night in Spring 2008 when G.W. Bush said “Viva Vuvuzela!” when he was trying to say “Invade Venezuela!”

      Viva vulvuzela! has a catchy, naughty sort of ring to it…

      Jul 3, 2010 at 8:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   DuckSOS

    I thought it said “managemeat” at the bottom, which was much funnier.

    Jul 3, 2010 at 5:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   sw

    How is this PA?

    Jul 3, 2010 at 5:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   park rose bang

      It’s not, okay? Don’t fret about it.

      Jul 3, 2010 at 5:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Somebody Somewhere

      You must be new here. We’re so glad to have you! We understand you must be slow so if you could be so kind as to check the “WTF?” button there at the top of the page, all will be explained to you.

      (passive aggressive enough for you?

      Jul 3, 2010 at 5:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   mamason bang

      Dude! WTF? You don’t even have to read the WTF? section. There’s a perfectly good disclaimer in the intro to this note! Seriously. WTF? 8-O

      Jul 3, 2010 at 6:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   infant tyrone bang

      Somebody’s icon at #5.2 looks kind of like cannabis leaves.
      I think that’s extra PA points, especially for the clip-art purists here, plus
      a 2x multiplier for it mapping onto sw’s possible meaning of Skunk Weed.

      Wish I could vote again, but I did put #5 on it.

      Jul 3, 2010 at 7:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Laguna Beach Trad

    The only thing worse than the din of vuvuzelas is the sound of obese Americans at a baseball, basketball, or football game. Angry hippo-beasts demanding food.

    Germany World Cup 2010 !!!

    Jul 3, 2010 at 5:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Grimfool Reluctant

      No, no. The vuvuzela is worse. You can feed a hippo and shut it up. The vuvuzela never stops, even if you scream maniacally in the face of the vuvuzelationist. Trust me, I know.

      Jul 3, 2010 at 5:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   mamason bang

      Gee, whiz. If only there was something that an American could use as a comeback when it comes to a snarky German. :-|

      Jul 3, 2010 at 6:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   infant tyrone bang

      This one didn’t work for me, but maybe my timing was off…

      Ja, Gunter, mon amour ?
      I’m stuck on this here crossword puzzle, good buddih.
      Got anything nine-letters for a Japanese city ?
      Starts with an “H” and ends in “A”.
      Like H…….a, h*******a !

      Jul 3, 2010 at 7:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Grimfool Reluctant

    No vuvuzelatio near the … wait a sec, what the heck is a Cheetah Outreach program?

    Jul 3, 2010 at 5:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   mamason bang

      It sounds like rehab for drug addicted cheetahs.

      Jul 3, 2010 at 6:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Maas

      It’s surprisingly hard to proselytize cheetahs when they are agitated by the drone of the Vuvuzela.

      Jul 3, 2010 at 7:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   infant tyrone bang

      On the subject of proselytizing…
      Could we introduce the vuvuzela to Mormon missionaries ?
      And then introduce the newly equipped young’uns to cheetahs?

      Jul 3, 2010 at 7:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   infant tyrone bang

    • #7.5   park rose bang

      A drug-added cheetah always loses its (s)pot(s). Especially when there’s a vuvuzela-toting leopard around, startling it out of its reverie.

      Jul 3, 2010 at 10:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Nack

    Ah, yes. The sign should’ve said, “Please blow your vuvuzela, we would love the snack.”

    Kind of like the moron who decided it would be fun to taunt the female tiger in California….

    I think it’s perfectly acceptable. Cats love loud, annoying noises, it’s a historical fact! And we can use less of those horn-tooting morons around. It’s a win-win!

    Jul 3, 2010 at 8:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   park rose bang

      Darn horn-tooting morons!

      Jul 3, 2010 at 10:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   infant tyrone bang

      Hey, Gramps, got a riddle for ya.
      Riddle away, young quizmaster.

      Who dresses in office Goth garb for a year or more and rides around on bikes in a neighborhood of strangers trying to buttonhole people who don’t want to talk to them ? Can you answer that ?

      Can I answer that ? Darn tootin’ ! Horny Mormons.

      Jul 3, 2010 at 11:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Laguna Beach Trad

    If you think the vuvuzelas are bad, try taking a walk through any American city and you will be assaulted by the atrocious sounds of the urban third world. And you don’t even have to go to South Africa!

    Jul 3, 2010 at 9:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Laguna Beach Trad

    The sound of vuvuzelas is nothing compared to the sound of 20,000 fat Americans at a football game munching hot dogs, guzzling beer, and screaming obscenities at one another.

    Not to mention, the American propensity to riot. If American fans lose, they riot. If they win, they riot. Case in point, the recent basketball tournament in Los Angeles. WTF?!

    Jul 3, 2010 at 9:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Bunnee

      Um, you pretty much said the same thing in comment #6. We get it, already. You don’t like Americans. Now go suck a vuvuzela.

      Jul 4, 2010 at 11:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Laguna Beach Trad

      You know what’s worse than the sound of vuvuzelas? Rap music, that’s what.

      Thank you, America, for inflicting that crap on the world.

      Jul 4, 2010 at 1:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   infant tyrone bang

      As you don’t list science fiction as one of your interests, you may not know of Sturgeon’s Law, which says, “Ninety percent of everything is crud.”
      So, maybe you just haven’t heard high quality rap music yet.
      I wish I could give you specifics, but maybe others on this site can.
      Some of the early rap lyrics I heard astounded me with their employment of verse techniques that I hadn’t heard since studying Gerard Manley Hopkins’ ‘sprung rhythm’ back in the hallowed halls of academe.

      Rap’s lack of melodic elements leaves me cold, but you must admit, its rhythmic aspect has occasional flashes of pyrotechnical transcendence. Does this create angst for you wrt your failure as a mercenary in Africa ?

      Since you did list Bowie as an interest, I feel comfortable saying,
      “Yo(ung White Duke)! Check this out and tell me it doesn’t shred.”

      I CAUGHT this morning morning’s minion, king-
      dom of daylight’s dauphin, dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding
      Of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding
      High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing
      In his ecstasy! then off, off forth on swing,
      As a skate’s heel sweeps smooth on a bow-bend: the hurl and gliding
      Rebuffed the big wind. My heart in hiding
      Stirred for a bird,—the achieve of; the mastery of the thing!

      Yes, we are born for better things, better than focusing on the 90%.
      Look ! Over there!

      Jul 4, 2010 at 3:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   Canthz_B bang

      LBT, at least American fans have the courtesy to riot (celebrate wildly) in the streets after the sports event has concluded. We don’t riot, stampede crushing people to death and beat each other with 2x4s in the stands during the match like some people.

      I won’t quarrel with the obesity issue. All Americans are horribly over-weight, except me and three quarters of the people I know that is! ;-)

      With regards to Rap music, I’d be willing to bet that if the world didn’t buy it, we wouldn’t produce it.
      Why does so much of the world buy our crap?

      Because our crap is better than your crap, that’s why!

      A great many well-loved contemporary musical styles worldwide draw major influences from jazz. Who gave you that?

      Jul 5, 2010 at 1:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   park rose bang

    I can imagine this as a Diana Ross vs Drunken Soccer Lout-part-time railway worker mash-up:

    Diana has the leopards well placated, flicking their bic lighters at the appropriate times as they sway as gently as the Savannah breeze licking at their fur.

    Reach out and TOUCH, somebody’s hand . . .
    Corky (because, after all, who is actually a hard-working railway man nowadays?) stumbles along bellowing -

    I’ve been working on the railroads, all of the livelong day! I’ve been working on the railraods, just to pass the time away. Don’t you hear the whistle blowing?
    Rise up so early in the morn.
    Don’t you hear the captain shouting
    “Dinah, blow your horn?”

    Diana ups it, because you don’t mess with a diva.
    Make this world a better place, if you can. Just try . . ..
    Corky trips over his own feet again, miraculously not spilling a drop from his can of beer, which is delicately held between thumb and middle finger – pinky cocked into the air like a big cat sniffing the air for prey, and he continues his ditty. He synchronises with belches and farts

    Dinah won’t you blow, Dinah won’t you blow, Dinah won’t you blow your hor-or-orn? Dinah won’t you blow, Din…

    There, one cheetah’s tail twitches, and then another. The flames from the lighters are no longer quite so captivating as they once were.
    Reach out and TOUCH, somebody’s hand, Mak…

    Your, ho-orBVVVVBVVVVVBVVVVVn!! En-ga-land! En-ga-land! *
    Blow your, hor-or-orn! BVVVVBVVVVVBVVVVVn!!

    Nobody is saying quite what happened next, except it drew quiet, and, well, something, somewhere out there, at the Cheetah outreach facility, made the world a better place. Poor Corky, steadfast and true, faithful to the art of pure idiocy to the gruesome end.

    As for Diana – well she was always big in the Cape.

    *The sign was probably posted a while ago.

    Jul 3, 2010 at 11:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Andrew Rivers

    Dog vs Vuvuzela

    Jul 4, 2010 at 1:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Vaunski

    It’s Cape Town, btw :)

    These signs are everywhere here. The world seems to think we all love them – but really, vuvuzelas should be kept to stadiums and viewing areas such as bars and fan parks. The fact is that there are lots of signs like these around – work buildings, housing complexes, restaurants, etc.

    This is probably the best one I’ve seen, though!

    Jul 5, 2010 at 8:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Amedee

    Actually… the cheetah is not a “great cat”, despite its size. It is the largest of the “small cats”. It has a very low genetic relationship with all the other great cats (lions, tigers,…). It splitted from the ancestral cat tree about 5 million years ago, while the common ancester for lions and tigers lived about 3-4 million years ago.

    A cheetah can purr while inhaling, just like your house cat (a great cat like a lion can only purr while exhaling) but a cheetah can’t roar.

    Jul 5, 2010 at 10:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Canthz_B bang

      I agree with you, just don’t try telling that to a cheetah. He might not let you have your cheese puffs!

      Jul 5, 2010 at 1:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   The Elf

    Whenever I see the word “vuvuzela”, I always mistakenly read it as “vulva”. I don’t know why, as I’ve never heard of a vulva making that kind of noise. This has caused many misunderstandings. But if the South African offender has the same problem that I do, it suddenly becomes understandable why they blew the vuvuzela around the big cats.

    Jul 6, 2010 at 11:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Blah

    I’ve actually been to the place where that sign was posted. The cheetahs are actually pretty calm but I can see how vuvuzelas could change that.

    Jul 7, 2010 at 2:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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