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Sorry to break it to you

July 5th, 2010 · 101 comments

The following message is a bit long, yes, but I had to post it because it reads uncannily like what I imagine as the epistolary novel of the future — complete with an unreliable narrator à la the Adrian Mole Diaries (or the sub-par American ripoff, Youth in Revolt).

It comes to us from Helen in Northern Ireland, who gives the following backstory:  ”So, I met a friend of a friend on a night out and he offered to ‘walk me home.’ Seeing right through that clever ruse, I left, only to be bombarded with no fewer than four texts, a Facebook message and a voicemail all saying some inebriated yet romantic things.”

Months later, Helen ran into a mutual friend of this would-be Lothario, and casually said something along the lines of, ‘He tried to walk me home once, but I think he is a bit strange.’ Shortly thereafter, she received this gem of a Facebook message. “Luckily,” Helen says, “he removed and blocked me from Facebook immediately after sending it. Nice chap!”

Don't flatter yourself

related: And women like u wonder why u get judged and labeled shallow

FILED UNDER: Facebook · just an asshole · just not that into you · oh no you didn't · spurned lover · TL;DR · U.K.

101 responses so far ↓

  • #1   rebecca

    Read ‘Spud’ the South African version of Adrian Mole… those books

    Jul 5, 2010 at 6:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   infant tyrone bang

      For those of us who haven’t read any of these books, please then…
      is the “unreliable narrator” label for Mr. X or Helen the submitter?

      Jul 5, 2010 at 10:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Duncan

      Here I’m just imagining Adrian Mole on tape read by someone with a heavily Afrikaans accent

      I adore ya,
      I implore ya,
      Don’t ignore me.”

      Jul 6, 2010 at 3:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Maas

      Using Pale Fire as an analogy, I think Helen is Charles Kinbote, and the author of the facebook message is John Shade.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 4:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #2   Ellie


    Jul 5, 2010 at 6:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #3   liddy

    me thinks he doth protest too much..

    Jul 5, 2010 at 6:08 pm   rating: 60  small thumbs up

  • #4   SS

    “you’re not attractive enough to merit it”
    What a frakking douche.

    Jul 5, 2010 at 6:12 pm   rating: 52  small thumbs up

  • #5   Kat

    What an insecure little boy of a man.

    “I didn’t want that toy anyway! It’s lame and ugly.”

    Jul 5, 2010 at 6:13 pm   rating: 101  small thumbs up

  • #6   Melodie

    “All the best” is the “no offense” of kiss-off letters, hey?

    “I hate you and everyone hates you and Jesus hates you and you’re ugly and you smell and you look dreadful in that shirt and you’re a horrible monster who should pray for death and I hope you die in a fire, and I never want to hear from you again! All the best, Gary.”

    Jul 5, 2010 at 6:16 pm   rating: 122  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Melisa

      hahahahaha~ too funny! Thanks for the laugh!

      Jul 5, 2010 at 6:44 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   Languagegeek

      “All the best” does indeed seem to be the written equivalent of the Southern “bless his heart,” which allows the speaker to spew the most vile slanders—and truths—about someone without coming across as nasty at all to the listener. The speaker gets away with it, scot-free. It’s fantastic.

      I use it all the time. Mwah ha ha ha…

      Jul 6, 2010 at 6:04 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   tuna

      I think your comment is pretty fucking stupid.

      All the best.

      Jul 15, 2010 at 10:25 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #7   Erica

    Think he was right! Team “passive aggressive”guy!

    Jul 5, 2010 at 6:43 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Rachel

      With ya, there. This has to be the first case where I felt like sending a P.A. note in felt like a P.A. action itself. Maybe the person she should be most angry at is the friend who went back and told the guy what she said?

      Jul 6, 2010 at 10:26 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #8   Boad

    At least he can spell. Which sort of sucks– that’s generally something that helps weed out the psychos. Maybe he spells *too* well… hmm..

    Jul 5, 2010 at 6:58 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Maas

      Neaver trusst peepull hu kan spel.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 5:28 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #9   Nack

    Hrm, I have a sense “Helen” said a bit more than the guy was strange. A person doesn’t just rant off including friends in the issue on just a “thanks but no thanks” kind of tone, even if he is passive aggressive. Which I don’t really get from this note. I get a mocking wit here. I’m Team Conspiracy.

    Jul 5, 2010 at 7:24 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Silence

      Agreed. This seems a bit too far involved over one casual comment.

      Jul 5, 2010 at 7:58 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   Sabrina

      I can say from experience that yes, a casual comment can merit such a response from someone who is basically unhappy with everything in their life.

      Jul 5, 2010 at 8:05 pm   rating: 107  small thumbs up

    • #9.3   surrahsurrah bang

      Methinks the tattle-tale is into Bro-Dude, so she fishes for info from Helen the submitter to see if she’s a threat to “her man”.

      Thrilled, she goes and tells him all the dirt, remembering how to emphasize how she can make him feel better and “she’s a bitch anyway, looks like my crazy-ass is the best you can get!”

      In which case he takes it out on Helen, saying many things he wants to say to Briege but can’t, otherwise she would kill him in his sleep.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 12:52 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #9.4   Andi

      Sabrina’s right I think…man with no life think up bullshit ALL DAY.

      I doubt the other girl was all that interested because I’m SURE he would have mentioned that in the novel he wrote here :)

      Jul 6, 2010 at 4:34 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #9.5   TippingCows

      Oh there are plenty of insecure people out there that can take the smallest comment and turn it into something that hurts their fragile little ego. Most of these people are men – at least the letter writers are. Women deal with it in other ways – evil ways!

      Jul 9, 2010 at 10:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #10   aaa bang

    What’s up with the old tactic of “Oh, you don’t want anything to do with me. Well, um, I wasn’t interested in you anyway. And you smell. And everyone hates you. Now that I’ve been rejected, I’m too good for you. So there.”? DAMMIT PEOPLE, BE A LITTLE LESS TRANSPARENT. YOU’RE MAKING IT TOO DAMN EASY TO MOCK YOU. YOU’RE TAKING ALL THE FUN OUT OF THIS. JEEZY CREEZY.

    Jul 5, 2010 at 7:25 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

  • #11   Wade bang

    I suggest that ere Helen enters a pub for a pint, she first offer up this blessing:

    May those who love us, love us
    and those who don’t love us, may God turn their hearts
    and if He doesn’t turn their hearts may he turn their ankles
    so we’ll know them by their limping.


    Jul 5, 2010 at 7:42 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

  • #12   zenvelo

    I love the”oh I wasn’t hitting on you, but I heard you sleep around so I was hoping to hit on you, and I wouldn’t have sex with you except that I wanted to have sex with you.”

    Put this guy in urban dictionary under Douche Bag. (yes, capitalized).

    Jul 5, 2010 at 7:49 pm   rating: 83  small thumbs up

  • #13   Silence

    Somethin’ in the milk ain’t clean with this one.

    His lack of contact after the fact coupled with her description of his 4 texts, FB message, and VM as “inebriated” seem to point to him really *not* having much of a memory of it, and having been content with not contacting her…

    …which would indicate that, yeah, he wasn’t really that interested. It was the booze.

    And telling a friend of his that he’s strange? Yeah, pretty much warrants a Fuck You, Ya Daft Slag message, however nicely worded.

    Team Fishy Backstory, I’m afraid.

    Jul 5, 2010 at 8:01 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   infant tyrone bang

      Error: Already voted

      Jul 5, 2010 at 8:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   Zar

      I envy your inexperience with creepy weiner dudes. I really, really envy you if you can’t imagine a man behaving this way. It must be lovely.

      Jul 5, 2010 at 11:51 pm   rating: 86  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   Oink

      I agree: beer goggles. Plus the fact that she told the mutual friend what she thought of him – well that was just asking for trouble.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 3:51 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.4   shaniatwainHEY

      As a country western star, I know for a fact that we ladies only give out our number if we want that boy to give us a holler.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 3:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #13.5   Silence

      Actually, Zar, I’ve got plenty of experience with creepy weiner dudes. But, I also have plenty of experience with girls who ridicule guys they feel are beneath them, and then are absolutely shocked when said guy tells them to piss up a rope.

      My experience with creepy weiner dudes is part of what makes me doubt some of this as, in my experiences, a genuine creep would have kept calling her, not given up after a whopping 4 text messages.

      4 messages. I got more than that from my boss today.

      Don’t forget, Zar, his note was written after she insulted him to his friend. It was not instigated by her not calling back.

      And to be precise, I never said I can’t imagine a man behaving that way, did I? Read the post again, or put on your glasses, or at the very least, stop projecting your negative experiences by assuming you know what others have or have not experienced, kay?

      Jul 7, 2010 at 4:46 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #14   infant tyrone bang

    OK, as the Devil’s Advocate (El Abogado para el pendejo may be better):

    Memo to Helen:
    Mr. X may be an unsympathetic rakeheel, or lower.
    But he’s not that into you, not in that way.

    Of course, there’s a one in a million chance he’s a super-slow-playing (months later !? other girlfriends) sleazeball who has a bash-em-
    in-the-head-and-play-with-the-ones-who-say-ThankYou sort of system.
    But that’s not what the smart money’s saying in the London betting shops.

    Interpret Mr. X’s message as you choose, your takeaway action is clear.
    Get hold of your “friend” Lewis.
    If he’s talking shit about you, drop him.
    If you are a slag, tell him to stop trying to do you favors, as his profile regarding the kind of guy who might work for you is waaay off.

    I’d love to say more, but Mr. X is a cheap bastard and for any more advice, I’d have to dun you. So, I’m off to court to file an appeal for this bloke named Judas. It’s an old case, but I think we have a chance this time.

    All the best

    Jul 5, 2010 at 8:14 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Maas

      I think you’re a tad early here, IT. We have to wait till Helen’s dead to start the beatification.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 5:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   infant tyrone bang

      Not sure who you want to beatify or who you think I want to beatify.

      Neither Helen nor Mr. X shows me much to emulate or aspire to,
      and hey, Judas, like Lefty*… he only did what he had to do.

      I’m accused of indulgence, plead nolo, and take my chances.
      The closest to a sainthood case I want to get is 24 longnecks in the bed
      of a 50-year old Ford F150 with Louisiana plates that read Who Dat?


      Jul 7, 2010 at 1:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #14.3   Maas

      I assumed that if you were playing Devil’s Advocate, there must be some hitherto unmentioned movement to make a saint out of one of the parties in the note. Of course I agree that none of them seem particularly worthy of public veneration, but the process could be swayed by political factors, or the need for a new patron saint of promiscuous people, or petty people.

      Jul 7, 2010 at 4:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.4   infant tyrone bang

      It has been such an awfully long, but not awful, time since my last confession that I forgot the origin of the concept. I was using it in the non-church-biz sense of “let’s consider it from another point of view
      or from the other person’s perspective”.

      Yeah, none of these people are on my look-em-up-when-I-get-to-Ireland list, but maybe it’s time for a Saint Slag or Saint Snappy Speller.

      Jul 7, 2010 at 6:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.5   Maas

      Ah yes, that makes more sense. As it happens, I’ve never been to confession, I’m just using the older meanings of words in an attempt to travel back in time. I must needs continue willy-nilly lest I be trapped in these rather dismal times.

      Jul 8, 2010 at 5:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #15   SB

    Sigh. What a punk.

    Jul 5, 2010 at 8:17 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #16   anglophile bang

    Is he implying with his “lack of… other girlfriends” and his “record of this with old Matt”what he seems to be implying?

    Not that there’d be anything wrong with that.

    Jul 5, 2010 at 8:20 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   H for Toy bang

      Helen could always say that his devastation over her rejection is what made him swear off all women forever.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 10:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   notolaf

      That’s what I thought, too. And I didn’t even get close to understanding a good half of what he said anyway. Was he drunk AGAIN?

      Jul 9, 2010 at 2:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #17   Jim

    Yeah, nothing says “not interested” like a novella.

    Jul 5, 2010 at 8:43 pm   rating: 95  small thumbs up

  • #18   RampartWoman

    She shouldn’t have said anything to the mutual friend. I’d be pissed, too. The guy is just letting her know she’s not worth his time, and that she crossed the line, and in a passive-aggressive way, but warranted. She’s sucks worse than him.

    Jul 5, 2010 at 9:02 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   LS

      Please. What she said was less than innocuous. And if she’s so beneath his precious time, why write her such a fascinating diatribe of non-interest? He was interested, got turned down and got busted. She can talk to her friend about whatever she wants.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 5:11 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

  • #19   THF

    In this whole exchange there just seems to be a hell of a lot of bitching and shit stirring going on.

    Helen said this to the friend, the friend relayed it to the would be Lothario, who went back to Helen with accusations of Matt and Lewis, and Helen no doubt went to confront Lewis.

    It’s all a bit childish really…

    Jul 5, 2010 at 9:02 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   infant tyrone bang

      Another High School Musical Chairs sequence…

      A is going out with B to get back a C
      who was seen holding hands with D
      who was only doing it because s/he was mad at E
      for not noticing something…etc etc etc

      Ah, young love !
      Where we learn the basics of suspicion, deceit, revenge, and the like
      well before we can go drinking in bars and make a serious mess of life.

      Jul 5, 2010 at 10:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   The Elf

      Helen, Lothario, Briege, other girlfriends, Old Matt, Lewis, Finnuala, and somebody’s a slag but I’m not certain who. I need a flowchart!

      Jul 6, 2010 at 11:28 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #20   watwat

    This reminds me of that douchebag voicemail recording that went around the Internets a while back….

    Jul 5, 2010 at 9:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #21   cunning linguist


    Jul 5, 2010 at 10:10 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Z

      Fionnuala was the 3th ugly stepsister, but right before Cinderella went into production she became “in the family way” and had to go live with her aunt and was written out of the script…

      Jul 5, 2010 at 11:35 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #21.2   Xenobiologista

      It’s actually kind of a cool-looking name. I saw it in a book of Irish fairy tales, didn’t know people still have that name. I say cool-looking because I have no idea how to pronounce it.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 10:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #21.3   H for Toy bang

      Jul 6, 2010 at 10:29 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #21.4   zomboid

      it’s not that uncommon a name actually, in fact it happens to be my name. it’s pronounced finoola.

      PS: fionnuala was one of the children of lir who got turned into swans for 900 years by the king’s evil third wife and had all sorts of wacky misfortunes

      Jul 15, 2010 at 5:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #22   Z

    He hassled the hell out of her and she mentioned it to someone he know…I am baffled as to how that is such a horrible bitchy thing to do. He is a loser, and if you can’t see that, I don’t know how to explain it.

    Jul 5, 2010 at 11:33 pm   rating: 61  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   SoupySales

      I’m with you, Z!

      If friend B of friend A creeped me out, I’d be sure as hell to tell Friend A about it, so that he/she doesn’t introduce Friend B to anyone else. I would also expect Friend A not to say anything to Friend B about my opinion, so Friend A was a douche for spilling the beans.

      But it doesn’t make the note any less douchey. The language used by the note-writer is about as PANny as you can get.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 11:50 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #23   Limeliberator bang

    blow-hard   /ˈbloʊˌhɑrd/ [bloh-hahrd] –noun Slang .
    an exceptionally boastful and talkative person.
    1850–55, Americanism


    Jul 5, 2010 at 11:46 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #24   snokful

    What. A. Creep.

    Typical male reaction, when rejected by a woman as is her self-protective right, to accuse the woman of being a disgusting ugly slut.

    Jul 5, 2010 at 11:50 pm   rating: 69  small thumbs up

  • #25   Canthz_B bang

    This is what’s really wrong with Ireland today.

    Jul 6, 2010 at 3:47 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

  • #26   Canthz_B bang

    This all could have been avoided if she’d have just “put out” in the first place.

    Come on ladies, spread your legs with reckless abandon to protect your Facebook reputations.

    No one will post that you’re easy… I promise (almost).

    Jul 6, 2010 at 4:25 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #27   gyaku_zuki

    He’s gay. Essentially admits to it in the message (the lack of other girlfriends, and the ‘business’ with Matt).

    Plus he is articulate. A clear sign of a gay dude – I would know ;)

    Since I live in Northern Ireland, maybe some day I will run into him…

    Jul 6, 2010 at 6:21 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Beanster bang

      ooh! the beginnings of a PAN romance?
      you must let us know how it goes.

      what is it that you like about him? is it his clear understanding of his own feelings? his categorical rating system on the worthiness of women based on attractiveness (objectively, of course)? his impeccable spelling?

      Jul 6, 2010 at 8:42 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #27.2   oi bang

      love ya beans!

      Jul 6, 2010 at 11:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #27.3   sleeps

      I can’t tell if he means that he has had a lack of contact as well as a lack of girlfriends, or a lack of contact (pause) and other girlfriends. The latter implying that clearly, since he’s had girlfriends since this incident occured, he’s not pining away for her.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 12:33 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #27.4   Rachel

      I don’t think he was saying he had a lack of other girlfriends; I think he was saying he had a lack of contact with Helen AND he also had other girlfriends. Like, “I haven’t even texted you, what with all the girlfriends I obviously have.”

      (It doesn’t mean he’s not gay, of course.)

      Also, the earlier commenter who said rejected men always go for the “she’s just an ugly slut” insult = spot on.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 3:36 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #28   wicked opinion

    What a tool. I had a similar (but WAY less complicated) thing happen to me years ago. Guy approached me in a club, I politely declined to dance with him, he stage-whispered “fat bitch” and stomped off. 15 minutes later he was spotted across the room talking to a girl even heavier than me. My friend and I laughed so hard we cried. Guys CANNOT take rejection.

    Jul 6, 2010 at 7:40 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Splint Chesthair

      But you remember him! lol.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 8:03 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #28.2   zomboid

      i had a real classy guy approach me as i weaved my drunken way home at 5 am one night and hassle me to go home with him, then as i was walking away he says “you’re not even that good-looking anyway!”
      that’s me told….

      Jul 15, 2010 at 5:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #28.3   Canthz_B bang

      15 minutes…and two drinks later.
      Don’t flatter yourself.

      She got laid that night!! :-P

      Jul 22, 2010 at 1:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #29   Splint Chesthair

    First off, this guy is a douche, plain and simple, the classy and mature thing to do would be to ignore it. Regardless of whether the woman did more than just call him “strange”.

    However, I have been on the end where I’m just being nice to a female, offering a ride, offering to walk someone home, etc. and you literally cannot do these things without being accused of having ulterior motives. That’s fine, you just deal with that because you’re a nice person. But then someone the next day tells you they heard you were trying to sleep with this girl and now you know she’s telling stories about you and, well, it gets frustrating.

    Jul 6, 2010 at 7:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   The Elf

      Blame it on the guys that did have ulterior motives. Once burned twice shy.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 11:32 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #29.2   infant tyrone bang

      Any Irish folk here ?
      Is it possible we all know about “slag”, but there is some local to Ireland meaning for “a bit strange” that we are unaware of ?
      Bueller ? Anyone ?

      Jul 6, 2010 at 11:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #29.3   mamason bang

      It’s been my experience that any friendship offered by any male will always lead to that male making a pass. It may take a week. It may take a month, but it will happen. No exception. Ever.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 1:26 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #29.4   Splint Chesthair

      That may be true mamason. But you’re talking to someone who up until way after college, would be at a party drinking beer and having a great time when a female would whisper “Want to go back to your apartment?” and I’d answer, “Why?” with a quizzical expression. I honestly thought “Well, there’s no party at my apartment. That place sucks.” and leave it at that. Then a few days later, “Doh!”

      I’m glad I finally found a woman that wasn’t coy about liking me, I almost literally have to be hit over the head with a hammer to even consider the possibility of a sexual relationship with new women I meet. If I don’t know anything about you, it just doesn’t register for me.

      I guess what I’m saying is, sometimes the offer of a car ride, is just that. Now, maybe after a few days/weeks of hanging out and liking each other, why wouldn’t I try to take it to the next level? You almost have to.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 1:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #29.5   infant tyrone bang

      “Want to go back to your apartment?” = Coy ?
      I have a very shy nephew who’s thinking about college.
      Which academic pond were these koi swimming in ?

      Jul 6, 2010 at 4:04 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #29.6   LS

      Most guys do have those motives. I once took an elevator up to my door room with a guy, he happened to live on the same floor, and the next day everyone had pinned me as a huge slut. From then on I took the elevator alone. And if some random guy wants to “walk you home,” there’s more that you have to think about than just his wittle feelings. There’s also your own safety and reputation at stake.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 5:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #29.7   sleeps

      You have a room made entirely of doors? How confusing.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 7:37 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #29.8   infant tyrone bang

      Please advise soonest of one of them is a “street door”.
      If so, we may have found the right lure to get at least PG back here.

      * misses the 3G network of PG, GG, and CG

      Jul 6, 2010 at 8:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #29.9   anglophile bang

      Damn, mama. I had so many guy friends who never made a pass at me in college, I was close to offing myself. Luckily, one of them finally told me he was gay and I clung to that lifeline like you wouldn’t believe.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 9:31 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #29.10   Splint Chesthair

      @infant tyrone

      lol, I wasn’t speaking specifically about that time, I literally cannot get interested in a woman I have just met, such as in that case. I’ve always been fascinated by people capable of one-night stands.

      Jul 7, 2010 at 6:43 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #29.11   park rose bang

      I have plenty of male friends and always have had. Hardly a one of them has ever made a pass at me, mostly because we were friends, and so much so that if one ever did try anything I was usually shocked, bewildered, angry and you know, sometimes full of the old self-chastisement at my own stupidity. Helped that I was absolutely frigid (not pleasant for anyone), of course. I think the guys somehow cottoned on, cut their losses, and so friendships developed and were maintained.

      Jul 7, 2010 at 7:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #29.12   totalreadr

      “if one ever did try anything I was usually shocked, bewildered, angry and you know, sometimes full of the old self-chastisement at my own stupidity.”

      When I first realized some women have this attitude I was really surprised. I’m like Splint Chesthair: I’m incapable of being romantically interested in someone I’ve just met. If I asked out a friend, it would not be because I “was only acting like her friend because I wanted to get in her pants” — it would be because I *was* her friend, and now, having got to know her better, I realized we might be compatible enough that I’d like to try dating. You know?

      I’m pretty lucky I’ve never had this problem — I’m still with my second girlfriend (now partner — marriage is too patriarchal for us). With each of them, we were friends and then she decided she’d like it to be more. My reaction was always, “This is my friend. Since I care about my friend, I don’t want her heart to be broken. We may as well give it a try and then, if it doesn’t work out, at least we’ll both know we gave it a shot.” The first time it didn’t work out. The second time…after 12 years together her parents finally acknowledge us as partners.

      What I’m saying is — I have no reason to be bitter about this common miscommunication, but I can see why a lot of guys are. Some of these guys who get identified as Nice Guys(tm) really were always entitled assholes — but I’m pretty sure a lot of others are just people who, like SC and me, are innately incapable of being romantically interested in someone they’ve just met.

      And like every other young person, they assumed everyone was like them. So when other young people (who assumed everyone was like *them*) felt betrayed by their friend’s interest and rejected them with hostility — they didn’t understand. And there the sexist culture was, ready to coopt them.

      @Splint Chesthair: Heh, I’m always getting “let down easy” by women I never had any interest in. I think they mistake my enthusiasm for the conversational topic for interest in them. It does get frustrating.

      Jul 13, 2010 at 1:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #30   H for Toy bang

    The whole “Lewis said something mean about you but I defended you” reminds me of a guy who literally used to ask me out every time he saw me from the time I was 16 to about 24, when I guess I finally got through to him. He actually told me that I should go out with him because he thought I was a slut, but was willing to defend me if anyone else said so. As generous as the offer was, *eye roll* I still wasn’t interested.

    Frankly, I don’t think I’m attractive enough to warrant that kind of long-term attention ;)

    Jul 6, 2010 at 8:04 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

  • #31   oi bang

    hmm. All he wanted to say is that he was not interested in her, it was just an alcohol acting. Boy! does he go off on a tangent! What’s with Fionoaulla ( No I am not gonna correct that, persons with stupid names should expect their names to be spelled wrong.) Lewis, and Matt? Did he try to lure all those people too with his “clever” ruses? He was rejected by them all, so he sent a letter calling them ugly and sluts? “Telling too much truth leads to chaos?” I did not know that you can actually weigh the truth and break it down into manageable quantities. Live and learn I guess.
    If the guy talks like this when sober then I am not surprised that everybody sees through his ruses and rejects him when inebriated.

    Jul 6, 2010 at 10:59 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   duly

      What’s with Fionoaulla…Lewis, and Matt?

      …it was actually your friend Lewis who
      described you on several occasions as a ‘slag’…

      Lewis seems to be Helen’s (the submitter’s) “friend”,
      either running her down or trying to pimp her out.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 12:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #31.2   Gigi

      Fionnuala is a completely normal Irish name, “a bit strange” basically means a weirdo

      Jul 6, 2010 at 2:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #31.3   park rose bang

      It’s Celtic, I assume, oi. Different language from English.

      Jul 7, 2010 at 7:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #32   Courtney

    It would be interesting to know whether or not she still has the “evidence”, i.e., the Facebook message and the text messages and could present them to this douchebag as “proof” of his hitting on her, not the other way around.

    Jul 6, 2010 at 12:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #33   StopDaveDaveStop

    You had me at Fionnuala.

    Jul 6, 2010 at 2:11 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #34   Toya

    I would have laughed off this note if I were the girl. If she truly was ugly then that he was about to hook up with an ugly chick while in the middle of a drunken haze. And really what does that say about when the supposed ugly chick rejects you?

    Although I do wonder how he was behaving. Was he being really touchy feely or was he staying at a distance.

    Jul 6, 2010 at 2:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #35   Duncan

    Message continues; I should add, moreover, that not only am I not interested in any way but in fact I entirely failed to notice you. I thought I’d write you this long message to impress upon you how singularly you failed to penetrate my into my consciousness. If Briege told you that I had a small-to-medium sized shrine set up in my back garden, centred around a plinth upon which sits your likeness, she was entirely making it up – she doesn’t know anything about the shrine. Lewis tells me you have big feet. And bad breath. Did I mention I’m not interested in you?

    Jul 6, 2010 at 3:49 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

  • #36   Crisp Flows

    “Too much truth leads to chaos…”?

    I get the feeling that the writer is a habitual liar

    Jul 6, 2010 at 4:06 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #37   Finisterre

    Oh-so-familiar scenario, as others have said.

    I predict that the next time he meets a girl who shows even a polite interest, he’ll be telling her just what a Nice Guy(TM) he is and how he always gets crapped on by nasty women like Helen.

    Jul 6, 2010 at 4:08 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   LS

      Oh yes, the old Nice Guy routine. By the time I was 18 I had learned to steer clear of anyone who deemed himself a Nice Guy. *Hint*- If you’re nice, you don’t run around telling everyone you meet about it.

      Jul 6, 2010 at 5:22 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

  • #38   Reibear

    haha oh wow, what a huge fucking child. oh, internet~

    Jul 6, 2010 at 7:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #39   eslinger bang

    Well, here’s DoucheLord #3. Numbers 1 & 2 are John Mayer and Scott Disick, respectively.

    This guy needs to fly to Arizona, find a cactus, and sit on it. What a cockfag.

    Yeah, sure, some chick doesn’t accept your tacky come-ons, and mentions the fact that you were a bit “strange” (instead of taking the low road and saying what a creeper you were), and suddenly she’s a “slag.” Despite your failed attempts at wooing her, she’s the bad person here. Yep, classic rejection behavior at its finest.

    Helen, you’re better off. What if he’d gotten aggressive when he walked you home? Better to get a PAN from this jerk than … well, something worse, for sure.

    Jul 6, 2010 at 11:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   zomboid


      Jul 15, 2010 at 5:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #40   Charles

    It’s all to do with how she, herself, looks. Mr X may have reacted the way he did simply because she wasn’t quite as attractive as her label promised. This would be my bet.

    All power to ya buddy! Unless someone offers me pictoral evidence otherwise.

    Jul 7, 2010 at 9:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   park rose bang

      But then, why bring sexual reputation into it?

      Jul 7, 2010 at 7:41 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #41   RP

    The OP dodged one seriously douchey, pretentious bullet there.

    Jul 7, 2010 at 12:24 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #42   arby

    He can spell, but he can’t use paragraph breaks.

    Definitely always a sign of a nutcase

    Jul 21, 2010 at 1:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up


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