A friend of Kent in San Diego lives in an unincorporated part of the country where raising backyard chickens is legal, despite how his neighbors might feel about it. And if this anonymous note is any indication, those neighbors’ feelings aren’t exactly baby-chick warm ‘n’ fuzzy. (But of course, there’s no way it’s passive-aggressive. Just neighborly concern. After all, it’s all about the children!!!)
related: My neighbor starves his cows!
extra credit: Urban chicken farming — a burgeoning fake trend [Slate.com]
121 responses so far ↓
#1
Edwina the Defrocked Nun
Well, at least the grammar is acceptable, if not exemplary.
Jul 6, 2010 at 10:28 pm rating: 2
#2
H for Toy
I always thought “affected” was kinda like “touched” as in “Don’t worry about the notes he writes, he’s a little touched in the head.”
Jul 6, 2010 at 10:33 pm rating: 17
#3
TeacherLady
If they were my neighbors, I’d be over there offering to feed the chickens and walk their kids for some farm-fresh eggs. And if it was my family, I’d be too busy eating my deviled eggs to care that someone was collecting chicken-fruit in the backyard.
Jul 6, 2010 at 10:37 pm rating: 65
#4
VM
But what a tortuous path the note takes! I’d say that neighbor is affected, indeed.
Jul 6, 2010 at 10:39 pm rating: 2
#5
TeacherLady
Dear Sam-I-Am,
I’ve heard about you, denying your inner egg demon, even when offered in boxes with foxes. I do believe you are simply jealous that I can eat food such as omelets and meringue without running away and screaming. I believe if you just try an egg, once, you will want to have them with foxes and in boxes and in a boat and with a goat, you will like my fresh chicken-laid eggs.
Signed,
T. Geisel
Jul 6, 2010 at 10:42 pm rating: 40
#6
wb
Pretty sure that roosters don’t lay eggs.
Jul 6, 2010 at 10:46 pm rating: 78
#7
ed
The annoyed neighbour should buy him/herself a pet fox or coyote.
Jul 6, 2010 at 10:48 pm rating: 19
#8
J. Cortez
I have a confession to make. I don’t quite understand the note! I hate to sound slow, but how do the neighbors suffer when the subject collects eggs? Why do they suffer? (Assuming his rooster lays eggs, of course.) Are they adamantly vegan, or members of PETA? And while I always assume there is more to the story with a PAN than we know, I don’t get why anyone should know what the note writer is thinking.
Maybe I’m over analyzing this one.
Jul 6, 2010 at 10:50 pm rating: 34
#9
leftfoot
Hey, at least they wrote a note. Where I come from, neighbors would just kill the chicken in the middle of the night.
Jul 6, 2010 at 10:51 pm rating: 19
#10
zenvelo
what ARE the neighbors thinking?
Jul 6, 2010 at 10:53 pm rating: 0
#11
El Jefe
1.) Roosters do not lay eggs.
2.) It is not required to have a rooster to get the hens to lay eggs.
3.) Keep the rooster. It annoys your moron neighbor.
Jul 6, 2010 at 10:56 pm rating: 54
#12
ISpy
After reading this 5 times, I’ve come to a possible explanation. The note writer appears to be concerned about the rooster only, whatever horrors occur when the eggs are collected, and has outed the suburban farmer’s mind-reading family members. So, what we have here is a rooster who wakes up the neighborhood as the farmer collects the eggs in his wife’s undies while the farmer’s children receive pervy thought messages from “An Affected Neighbor.”
Jul 6, 2010 at 11:00 pm rating: 25
#13
Jonathan
That cock was fucking delicious and vice versa.
ETA: Affected? Like John Hurt affected? Or are they more like Tim Curry in affected? Or, surprisingly, might they hew more toward the John Wayne end of the spectrum?
Jul 6, 2010 at 11:00 pm rating: 6
#14
debkatz
You know, being a city girl, my first instinct was, “Gosh, if they get rid of the rooster, they’ll eventually run out of eggs!”, but then it occurred to me that the chickens lay eggs regardless if there’s a rooster or not. My reaction here doesn’t justify the note writer or anything, I’m just thinking out loud about my ignorance. I wonder if my neighbors are affected by my ignorance or if my family is worried about what the neighbors think about my ignorance. I wonder if I can lay eggs without a rooster. Perhaps one day I’ll wonder why I crossed the road. Crap. I should never take an Ambien and then read PAN!
Jul 6, 2010 at 11:01 pm rating: 41
#15
prairielily
I suspect this note was actually written by the note receiver’s spouse.
Jul 6, 2010 at 11:01 pm rating: 12
#16
alison
a very posh sounding neighbour… who obviously does not realise that roosters don’t lay eggs, chickens do. apparently the guy’s famiy is psychic too… wish i had an egg-laying rooster and psychic family!
Jul 6, 2010 at 11:02 pm rating: 2
#17
Snarkmeister
Roosters suck. I live in a suburban city (over 100K people) and my next door neighbor had chickens and a *fighting cock* in his backyard. That rooster crowed ALL day and ALL night. Midnight? Crowing. Four AM? Crowing. I work from home and once tracked how many times it crowed: over 110 times in 2 hours. Just think about that, my friends. An average of almost once a minute. Would you really want to live next door to that?
Jul 6, 2010 at 11:04 pm rating: 32
#18
Cheryl
I can see where these folks are coming from. Roosters can be aggressive little bastards, and loud, not to mention in general, chicken feces is unsanitary and carries varying pathogenic microbes.
Though really now, a dog can/does have several diseases harbored in their feces too and lazy assed owners of those still let the blighters crap everywhere around the neighborhood regardless. At least the chickens are (hopefully) staying in this dude’s backyard.
Jul 6, 2010 at 11:11 pm rating: 3
#19
debkatz
What we have here is….CHICKEN WARS!!!! Which, when you look at it, appears oxymoronic.
Jul 6, 2010 at 11:32 pm rating: 4
#20
mamason
What do you mean your rooster is missing? *burp*
That coq au vin was fucking delicious!
Jul 6, 2010 at 11:33 pm rating: 20
#21
AJ
Anybody who has neighbors within hearing distance and keeps a rooster (legal or not) is a complete prick and deserves eggs thrown at his/her home on a daily basis. Kent should be glad this note is all he got. I would be a far less understanding neighbor (who would also have chickens).
Jul 6, 2010 at 11:54 pm rating: 6
#22
Ben
How dare he say he’s affected without mentioning what his affectation is. What’s his affectation, hyper-sensitive hearing? Bird gender-confusion (Roosters don’t lay eggs.)? Chronic note writer? What’s his affectation?
Jul 7, 2010 at 12:24 am rating: 2
#23
Emily
My parents had a neighbor once who was raising a rooster for 4-H. My parents’ dog bit the rooster’s head off when the rooster stuck its head through the chain link fence to taunt the dog. My dad had to take the head next door and confess. The neighbor was relieved, because roosters are a pain in the A.
Jul 7, 2010 at 1:14 am rating: 17
#24
Annapolitan
I wouldn’t mind if my neighbor kept hens, but a neighbor who keeps a rooster is not interested in being a good neighbor. A rooster is not necessary to keep hens laying eggs; he’s a noisemaker, nothing more. Ditch the rooster, keep the hens, and keep your neighbors happy.
Jul 7, 2010 at 1:52 am rating: 5
#25
Sarah
There is a big difference between having chickens and having a rooster. Chickens may be perfectly legal but I doubt roosters are. There is absolutely no need for these people to keep a rooster either. They are an absolute menace. They can be very loud, very early in the morning, and also quite aggressive. Keeping a rooster is seriously inconsiderate. Get rid of it, keep enjoying the eggs from the chickens and keep your neighbours happy.
Definitely team sleep-deprived neighbours.
Jul 7, 2010 at 2:08 am rating: 3
#26
thursdaynext
Seriously wondering if your roosters are louder/more confused than our cockerels.
Because a cockerel won’t crow at night. During the day sure, but they sleep at night funnily enough.
We had two once, and I know a lot of people in the village have them and never have they crowed at night.
Maybe they just need better coops- the streetlights may be confusing them.
Jul 7, 2010 at 2:51 am rating: 0
#27
Hypothetical
Actually, Roosters can lay a certain kind of egg.
See : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockatrice
According to Alexander Neckam’s De naturis rerum (ca 1180), it was supposed to be born from an egg laid by a cock[4] and incubated by a toad..
Bwa ha ha….
Jul 7, 2010 at 4:56 am rating: 2
#28
Splint Chesthair
Grew up on farm, learned to sleep though rooster crows. Live near train tracks, learned to sleep through trains.
Have had dogs and babies, never learned to sleep through barking or crying.
Jul 7, 2010 at 6:40 am rating: 12
#29
Party in my pants
I agree… you can learn to sleep with roosters around. Besides if you get rid of the rooster the hens may all turn lesbian. Not that there’s anything wrong with that… just saying.
Jul 7, 2010 at 6:53 am rating: 10
#30
Katy
Roosters don’t lay eggs…they’re male…just saying…
Jul 7, 2010 at 9:18 am rating: 0
#31
Rooster Lady
I have to weigh in… I am the FORMER owner of said rooster that prompted this lovely note.
If the author of the note of question had merely knocked on our front door, and asked “what the he!! are you thinking, having a rooster???” we could have explained that said rooster had been sold to us as a HEN, had been adopted as a pet by our 10 year old daughter, named “Midnight,” and thus could not be made into chicken fricasee when his true gender became known.
I cringe a bit at killing and eating my kid’s pets, you know?
After posting an ad on Craigslist – “Free Black Orpington Rooster!” he was gone within a week.
Now we only have to listen to the other three roosters in the neighborhood.
Jul 7, 2010 at 10:09 am rating: 42
#32
Elmo
The poor sod. Imagine what he would do if his neighbor had an amorous bull instead of a rooster!
Jul 7, 2010 at 10:24 am rating: 1
#33
Reeseman
If you have ever kept chickens, you know that a flock of hens is happier when they have a rooster around. He stands guard over them, finds things for them to eat, keeps the peace and mates with them, which is something they naturally desire. It is true that hens will do just fine without a rooster, but they’ll be even happier with one. Having two roosters, however, just makes everybody miserable.
Jul 7, 2010 at 11:10 am rating: 3
#34
Rooster Lady
In our area (it’s an unincorporated, rural area outside San Diego) many people have chickens and roosters. Code wise, we are completely allowed to have all sorts of livestock… which makes me think we need to get a pig and put the pen right next to “affected neighbor’s” bedroom… That wouldn’t be passive aggressive, would it?
Jul 7, 2010 at 11:44 am rating: 6
#35
Gandalf
I had a neighbor that owned chickens, and a rooster. She would bring over fresh eggs. The rooster, however, was soooo annoying that I was beginning to realize that the fresh eggs did not overcome the lack of sleep. I had just about decided that I had had enough, when the rooster stopped crowing. The next evening, my neighbors invited me over for the best fried chicken I’ve ever had. Apparently you eat the roosters. And yes, that rooster was fucking delicious!
Jul 7, 2010 at 3:06 pm rating: 6
#36
Ember
If they can’t handle a Rooster, how would they react to a Peacock? Those birds cry like babies! I camped near a family of them once. It sounded like a child screaming “Ooww!” over and over and OVER AND OVER…
Jul 7, 2010 at 3:47 pm rating: 3
#37
shaniatwainHEY
Hey yalls. How you doin? Any man of mine better say unincorporated part of the county, not country.
We tried to unincorporate part of MY country once. Our yank neighbors… well lets just say they didn’t like our rooster. We stayed incorporated though. Which left solely the outskirts of municipalities unincorporated into cities commonly referred in the American vernacular as unincorporated, yall. Pay attention to me! Man!
Jul 7, 2010 at 3:55 pm rating: 3
#38
snokful
Travelling in Asia, there are so many roosters, that they just become the background noise. I might find it pretty irritating to have just one next door though… though by rights I shouldn’t.
In Australian suburbs I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to have a rooster, but you are allowed to have the hens, as long as the chook pen is a certain distance from your neighbours’ fences. I’m sad I have a small backyard now *sob*.
In Darwin we get all sorts of loud wildlife noise at night… bats squabbling over the palm fruit outside your window are really loud, and there’s a couple of species of nocturnal birds who sound like repetitive mournful wailing children… bit like peacocks…
Jul 7, 2010 at 9:01 pm rating: 2
#39
HeatherW
“Neighbor relations” eh?
Bow-chicka -wow- WOW!
Jul 8, 2010 at 9:52 am rating: 2
#40
LadyBelle
I understand hating the rooster, those can be annoying and aggressive. I’m not sure however, how the collecting of eggs is so traumatizing to the neighbors. Are they confused on the facts of life and think the chickens have to breed for egg collection, or that there is something sinister happening?
Jul 8, 2010 at 3:07 pm rating: 1
#41
FROGET ME NOT
I animal sense that some of you wanna do away with my uncle ROO …..
..A vely sirius & dengueroos o fence to hour family
Shall we miaaw instead w’hen you breed your own
A very effective neighbour.
Jul 9, 2010 at 6:01 am rating: 0
#42
katiewatie
I don’t understand this note at all, even after reading through all the comments.
How does the collecting of the eggs cause the neighbour to suffer? The neighbour indicates they suffer “while” the eggs are being collected, not as a result of the eggs being created in the first place.
I’m very impressed by the mutual mind-reading between the neighbour and the children though – that’s quite a trick.
Jul 14, 2010 at 8:02 am rating: 0
#43
SDRoosterNoise
For those who do not live in the unincorporated area of San Diego County you cannot begin to understand living next to someone with roosters! Roosters crow all the time, and the more roosters the neighor has the more they crow. Obviously the author of the note has trouble with the hen vs. rooster concept, but the message is clear. Your rooster is making noise and the neighbors don’t like it! http://www.roosternoise.com
Jul 14, 2010 at 12:21 pm rating: 1
#44 I’m not sure what a “pre-warning” is, but it sure sounds serious. | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: Cock fight! [...]
Jun 22, 2011 at 10:34 pm rating: 0
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