“My next-door neighbor has some problems with controlling her rage,” says Guy in Austin. So when the apartment manager wouldn’t force her upstairs neighbors to take down their bird feeder — on the grounds that the resulting bird crap from above constituted plant harassment — she wasn’t about to let the issue drop quietly.
![I cannot have my plants because the person upstairs is harrasing [sic] my plants + me.](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4140/4802385326_205d585a7c.jpg "I cannot have my plants because the person upstairs is harrasing [sic] my plants + me.")
![I cannot have my plants because the person upstairs is harrasing [sic] my plants + me.](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4123/4802385206_c662166151.jpg "I cannot have my plants because the person upstairs is harrasing [sic] my plants + me.")
Meanwhile, Lucas brings us this report of a uncontrollable botanophile on the loose at his office in Toronto.
40 responses so far ↓
#1
Party in my pants
FIRST, the plant was fucking delicious and second, I will resist molesting the plant, but could I FIRST get it to pose for some pictures instead?
Jul 20, 2010 at 10:18 pm rating: 15
#2
Melodie
I used to know a guy who bought a little potted pine to liven up his doorstep area, and who came home from work one day to find that his tree was gone… and his upstairs neighbour suddenly had one just like it.
Enraged, he rushed up the stairs to confront the man–whose name was Jack Black, which seems important–but instead of owning up to it or telling my friend to go fuck himself, he picked up that tree and used it to beat the shit out of my friend.
Jack Black battered my friend with his own tree.
That’s COLD, brah.
Jul 20, 2010 at 10:20 pm rating: 46
#3
Aksi
Plant molestation is a big deal – I was once at a state park where there were signs everywhere saying “please do not molest trees and bushes”. Because it’s just rude to feel up on bush that isn’t yours.
Jul 20, 2010 at 10:23 pm rating: 40
#4
eslinger
Plant lady has some beautiful penmanship, though.
Jul 20, 2010 at 11:01 pm rating: 4
#5
Maas
Your plant was clearly asking for it.
Jul 20, 2010 at 11:03 pm rating: 28
#6
surrahsurrah
The second one is fishy. I studied the handwriting for a whole 32 seconds and and am not sure whether it is the same or not.
I guess I like really lame conspiracy theories… “OOOO looks like the note writer also wrote the response! 9-11!”
Jul 20, 2010 at 11:07 pm rating: 5
#7
shwonline
That’s not the person upstairs, dearie. That’s one of the voices in your head. Now obey the voice and kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia…
Jul 20, 2010 at 11:36 pm rating: 17
#8
Canthz_B
Number one has bigger problems than bird droppings…she thinks she’s Jesus.
Jul 21, 2010 at 12:05 am rating: 2
#9
Froget menot
“Gone to Copacabana to work on our photosynthesis, left some carbon dioxyde in the oven for you.
Enjoy.
The Plants
Jul 21, 2010 at 2:12 am rating: 13
#10
wright1
I do wonder… is notewriter #1 one of those folks who are horrified to find out that the outside world is DIRTY?!?! Dust and pollen blowing, dead leaves on their spotless cement, the occasional bird pooping on their precious-green-snowflake spider plant???
Or… is she (passive-aggressively) coping with a situation where the bird-lovers upstairs are pouring out enough seed for every cute feathered / fuzzy-tailed freeloader for blocks around, and her patio is plastered off-white with guano?
Jul 21, 2010 at 3:17 am rating: 14
#11
Froget menot
The lady downstairs ?
I .. well you know tarantulah eggs in er cactus , and all.
Jul 21, 2010 at 3:47 am rating: 2
#12
Woman on the Verge
Dateline will be doing a plant molestation/harassment piece very soon.
Jul 21, 2010 at 7:14 am rating: 13
#13
oi
Plant lady is nuts. bird dropping makes for an excellent fertilizer. they do right?
Jul 21, 2010 at 11:09 am rating: 4
#14
Froget Menot
Absolutely..
..GUANO……what else !??
Jul 21, 2010 at 12:56 pm rating: 0
#15
TeacherLady
Damn! I hate it when plants are getting more action than me!
Jul 21, 2010 at 1:11 pm rating: 6
#16
Guy
This is Guy (the neighbor of the harassed plants/lady). It just got so much funnier. The people upstairs moved the feeder over a couple of feet so it was over the opening into the courtyard instead of where she kept her plants. The next day she stepped out into the courtyard with her laundry and a bird shit on her head.
Jul 21, 2010 at 6:52 pm rating: 31
#17
Edwina the Defrocked Nun
I try really hard not to mess with crazy folks.
Jul 21, 2010 at 9:34 pm rating: 1
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