Though your attention might have drifted ever so briefly, I’d like to reassure you that the ongoing debate over which restrooms (men’s or women’s) are the foulest continues to rage on — and yes, it’s as nauseating as ever!
I literally received these two submissions — the first from an EMT school in Massachusetts, the second from a non-profit in D.C. — within minutes of each other. Mere coincidence? Or a cosmic clue from the Internet gods that it was time for a showdown between “Angulated Rectum Guy” and “The Queen of Diahrriah?” Okay, that was a gimme. The real question: who would you rather share a loo with?
Exhibit A) as witnessed by Josh in Fall River, Mass.
Exhibit B) From an anonymous bystander in College Park, Maryland
related: And you thought college students were foul…
79 responses so far ↓
#1
shwonline
Diahrriah Queen: Try our soft serve!
Jul 21, 2010 at 10:52 pm rating: 64
#2
JeRe
Holy shit.
Jul 21, 2010 at 10:54 pm rating: 8
#3
Melodie
She only won the crown because her people stuffed the ballot box.
Jul 21, 2010 at 10:57 pm rating: 19
#4
park rose
It was the inconvienen icing that did her in.
Jul 21, 2010 at 10:58 pm rating: 13
#5
TippingCows
If I worked at that place in College Park I would probably shit myself silly from my co-workers’ heinous spelling and punctuation.
So really, I think I commiserate with the offender on that one.
Jul 21, 2010 at 11:03 pm rating: 6
#6
Fridge Pirate
The feces on the toilet seat was fuckinng delicious.
Jul 21, 2010 at 11:13 pm rating: 1
#7
Clare
The second note is just begging for some clip art and a “THX, SANDRA” at the bottom.
Jul 21, 2010 at 11:28 pm rating: 23
#8
AuntyBron
Note #1 – Do one of the following? WTF? Try Option D – All of the Above.
Jul 21, 2010 at 11:56 pm rating: 6
#9
Froget Menot
Quizz:
Anosmia – lack of ability to …..
Hyperosmia – an abnormally acute sense of …..
Hyposmia – decreased ability to …..
Cacosmia – things ….. like feces
Dysosmia – things ….. differently than they should
Parosmia – things ….. worse than they should
Phantosmia – “hallucinated …..”, often unpleasant in nature
Jul 22, 2010 at 12:03 am rating: 2
#10
chrys
I really like note #1. I like that he gave him options, and I think angulated rectum guy is my new favorite nickname. I thought the hand written note on #2 said shame on you bitch at first. yourself’s is a new low. I can’t remember the last post that had so much to comment on.
Jul 22, 2010 at 12:22 am rating: 6
#11
Canthz_B
Why is it that people with multiple personality disorder never clean-up after their selfs themselves?
Jul 22, 2010 at 12:28 am rating: 11
#12
Froget Menot
Do not give in to olfactory fatigue:
Preventive behavior
exhibit A : Grow flaps of skin that open and close within the nostrils and use quick, short sniffs.
exhibit B : Remove olfactory hairs.
These .. may save Noses.
Jul 22, 2010 at 12:31 am rating: 0
#13
Canthz_B
“inconvienenicing” must have unlocked the apostrophe safe in her head.
You can see this for “yourself’s” without any “problem’s”.
Loose apostrophes love to grab a little ‘s’ if the opportunity presents itself.
Jul 22, 2010 at 12:35 am rating: 10
#14
Canthz_B
Well, what have we learned today?
1) If an EMT asks to use your bathroom, just say no.
2) Women can deal with “acceptable” messes in their restrooms, but will not tolerate “unacceptable” messes.
Jul 22, 2010 at 12:53 am rating: 5
#15
Grimfool Reluctant
You can squat, you can wipe,
Having the dump of your life
Ooh can I spell, inconvieninicing
This means you, Diahrriah Queen
Taco night and you’re about to blow
Looking out for a place to go
Where they pee on the seat, for the next rump
You come in to take a dump
And , angulated rectum guy
You’re sitting down but aiming high
Left a bit of a mess, we put up a sign
You’re in the mood for a flush
So don’t be in a rush
This means you Diahrriah Queen
And Pee-on-Seat, practice hygiene!
Diahrriah Queen, Pee-on-Seat,
Inconvieninicing me, oh yeah…
Jul 22, 2010 at 1:07 am rating: 18
#16
1948goa
Can anyone tell me the name of the Internet gods ?
I will set up an altar for them at my home for making my life so globalized without moving from my chair.
Uccia
Jul 22, 2010 at 2:51 am rating: 1
#17
Sarah
I’m on team notewriter in both cases.
Jul 22, 2010 at 3:14 am rating: 5
#18
Wrench
This is a never-ending saga at my house. My husband is guilty of constantly making a “toilet-paper catcher’s mitt” for every poop; leaving the toilet paper on the vanity, where it gets soaked with water splashed from the sink; peeing on the seat; leaving streaks of poop on the bowl; leaving poop on the seat; sprinkling on the floor; and clogging the toilet to the point that our plumber no longer asks for directions to our house.
This isn’t an extensive list, and at least one of those things happens on a daily basis. I’m starting to consider whether this constitutes “emotional abuse and negligence” in divorce court.
Jul 22, 2010 at 5:17 am rating: 10
#19
Froget Menot
It does, Bull(shit)-ying is unacceptable.
Jul 22, 2010 at 6:45 am rating: 1
#20
Party in my pants
The mad bomber LIVES!!
Jul 22, 2010 at 7:12 am rating: 4
#21
oi
The more important debate is: It it suppose to be whomever or whoever? Cast your vote just here.
Jul 22, 2010 at 9:13 am rating: 1
#22
Noelegy
I work in an office where the messes in the bathroom are unacceptable on a daily basis, and I’m not talking about bodily functions. This is a nice new office building, and the bathrooms are the nicest I’ve personally experienced in a workplace, with tile floors and granite counters. I have yet to go to wash my hands and not find puddles of water all over the countertop. Seriously, what are these women doing that they need to deposit so much water all over the place? Splashing in the sink like it’s a birdbath?
P.S. New to this website. English major. Grammar Nazi. Hi!
Jul 22, 2010 at 9:22 am rating: 13
#23
Z
Grammar Nazis, people with nothing interesting to say.
Jul 22, 2010 at 10:31 am rating: 2
#24
se
Either of the people referenced in these notes qualify for “ignoranus” status.
Jul 22, 2010 at 12:12 pm rating: 3
#25
Matthew
Something I used to enjoy doing at work: http://www.flickr.com/photos/suomynona/3483098056/in/set-72157609039497242/
Jul 22, 2010 at 12:41 pm rating: 0
#26
Noelegy
I realize this isn’t customerssuck.com, but in the 90s I worked at a chain book/music/video store in which there was one restroom, shared by customers and employees alike. At one point there had been an employee restroom, hidden safely away in the stockroom where customers could not get to it, but our district manager, who spent all of one or two days a month at our store, inexplicably decided that the store manager’s office wasn’t good enough for her to do her paperwork, and she had the employee restroom converted into an office.
So. We had to share a restroom with customers. And it had a pushbutton lock on it so that customers wouldn’t take product into the restroom and abscond with it. Still, we found nasty little offerings, such as the porn magazine we found on the high shelf reserved for cleaning products, with its pages all stuck together.
If you think that’s “eww,” you should have seen the time we found feces on the wall. Not next to the toilet. On the wall opposite the toilet. Someone had apparently been demonstrating their poo-flinging skills.
Then there was the woman who did NOT ask us to be let into the restroom, but instead informed us that her child had dumped upon the carpet and now she expected us to clean it up. The manager gave her a roll of paper towels and asked her to get the worst of it. In an apparent fit of pique that we didn’t do the job ourselves, she took the paper towels and ground the poo into the carpet. The carpet had to be replaced.
Having worked in customer service for years and years, I thought retail customers were the most disgusting animals on the planet, but I’m starting to think office workers may come in a close second.
Jul 26, 2010 at 11:07 am rating: 1
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