I think it’s actually pretty amazing how Kathy‘s six-year-old daughter — feeling a wee bit neglected now that there’s a baby brother on the scene — has managed to capture the love/hate essence of the “I’m no longer an only child” crisis in words, however adorably misspelled. (As the oldest of four kids myself, my mother will never let me forget that my method of expressing those feelings — temper tantrums — was considerably less cute.)
![Do not come in. I never get [attention]. Thank you. Love Samantha. [Only] come in if you give me [attention.]](http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1142/4623410154_1f6e09886a.jpg "Do not come in. I never get [attention]. Thank you. Love Samantha. [Only] come in if you give me [attention.]")
related: Sibling rivalry, the rift that keeps on giving
extra credit: “Does Birth Order Matter?” [nytimes.com]
67 responses so far ↓
#1
Laura
As the grown-up oldest child and grandchild, I’d love to loose some of the attention! Being the role model to siblings and cousins comes with a lot of pressure, relish it whilst you can Samantha!
Jul 26, 2010 at 8:51 pm rating: 90
#2
Sheri
Heyyyyy… who stole the sign off my office door?!
Jul 26, 2010 at 9:07 pm rating: 90
#3
Quite Contrary
I say Samantha is ready to have her birthday ignored on Facebook.
Jul 26, 2010 at 9:14 pm rating: 90
#4
veritybrown
My oldest son had no jealousy issues at all when younger brother came along. But as soon as younger brother hit about 18 months, younger brother started pushing older brother away from me: “NO! MY mommy!” Good thing he outgrew that attitude by the time younger sister came along. :~)
Jul 26, 2010 at 9:26 pm rating: 90
#5
Roundredhead
I just love the part where she says that you can come in if you are willing to give her the attention she craves. When I was six I wasn’t nearly that honest. My parents had to coax me out of my room with loads of attention which by that point I also made them coax me into accepting.
Jul 26, 2010 at 9:45 pm rating: 90
#6
Canthz_B
I’d have paid a fortune to get my kids to stay their asses in their room more often.
I ignored the fuck out of them, but they just kept saying, “Hey, Dad? Guess what? Dad? DADDY?!?!“
Jul 26, 2010 at 10:27 pm rating: 90
#7
Having Fitz
Now see, in my family they were at least honest about the fact that my younger brother was the favorite. None of that “We love you both equally” crap. If nothing else it was good training for the real world. Samantha, yes, they DO love the baby more than you. He’s new and shiny and at six you’re already stale to them. (Me? Bitter? *stabs picture of parents with knife* Why do you ask?)
Jul 26, 2010 at 10:28 pm rating: 90
#8
Canthz_B
Sweetie, the baby only gets attention because he craps on himself.
Take my advice, start crapping all over yourself, and you too will get extra attention.
Write and tell us how that works for you.
Jul 26, 2010 at 10:39 pm rating: 90
#9
TheOldSchool
Whenever I see a child referring to himself or herself with a lowercase i, I can’t help but feel a bit remorseful.
I see these tortured young souls as being representative of two things.
(1) How we, as a family-based society, have gotten derailed from our core values.
(2) Future sales for my soon-to-be-published books on raising kids’ self esteem.
(My own remorse comes from my failure to recognize how many messed-up kids are already out there. I should have been cranking out well-meaning-seeming schlock for this market all along. Twenty years ago, I wouldn’t have had Big Pharma poking its nose along side me in the money trough. Greedy bastards.)
Jul 26, 2010 at 11:50 pm rating: 90
#10
TheOldestAndOverIt
Wow. This one opened a BIG ol’ can of birth order passive aggression! Breathe, people. Call your siblings after work tomorrow, and wish them a happy Wednesday. Then drop your kids off at the orphanage where they’ll be paired with less bitter and psychotic parents. Yowza!
Jul 27, 2010 at 12:40 am rating: 90
#11
Froget Menot
RED-RUM ! RED-RUM! RED-RUM
redrumredrumredrumredrum ..Red-Rum! etc…
(pedals away on tricycle)
Jul 27, 2010 at 1:37 am rating: 90
#12
Canthz_B
Cry all you want you firstborns.
You’ve been compensated for your lost attention by never having to wear hand-me-downs.
Know what it’s like wearing a faded-ass, 1955 Davy Crockett Show T-shirt (with a fudge stain that was probably put there by your big brother during the Kennedy administration) in 1967?
Not cool.
Jul 27, 2010 at 1:51 am rating: 90
#13
Canthz_B
Thanks to little Samantha, the Sharpie Age Restriction Bill flew through Committee and is now before the full Senate!
Also, Toys-R-Us reported record profits as Techom (Technology Commando) action figures continue to fly off the shelves as soon as they can be stocked.
Ted Kaczynski has been transferred to the infirmary.
Jul 27, 2010 at 2:01 am rating: 90
#14
Meesh
Kids say the darndest things! ~eyeroll~
Jul 27, 2010 at 7:41 am rating: 90
#15
The Elf
As the second child, I will say that getting the”atechon” is more than made up for by the torments of the older sibling. My big brother was bigger than me and he didn’t let me forget it. Let’s hear it for the baby siblings and our mental scarring!
Jul 27, 2010 at 8:34 am rating: 90
#16
Froget Menot
“Atechoon” ?
“Bless You” !
Jul 27, 2010 at 9:06 am rating: 90
#17
oi
I am the oldest one too. My sister was preemie baby so of course she got all the attention from my parents. That was not at all problem for me though. That meant I was free to do all the shenanigans without any consequences. The problem for me started late as she grew up, she would follow me around nonstop and copy me in everything. My parents were like you should be happy she loves you so much. That wasn’t just annoying that actually was in my way of my shenanigans. I knew how far to take things without getting into major trouble. like I would sneak out but would be back by dinner time, this will get me out of doing homework and still would be able to do that next week again as I would be always back by dinner time. my sister was stupid and stubborn. She would follow me when I sneak out and then won’t come back even after dinner time, of course I can’t leave her there and end of that sneaking out forever as it’s dinner time girls are missing! PANIC! PANIC!
This is just one example. She always got me into trouble. Even that would be fine if we both got equal punishments but my parents thought she was baby and just followed me so she rarely got punished if ever. But I never wanted her to follow me. ah parents, they never understand. The firstborns just. can’t. win. ever.
Jul 27, 2010 at 10:28 am rating: 90
#18
Matt
Stuff it kid. At least you never have to worry about beccoming a middle child. It is my life.
I have been left in a Walmart. My parents have forgotten to get me food on more than one occasion. I was even the smartest of the three kids and that still got me nowhere.
Oh well, I make more money than my brothers and didn’t have an early pregnancy like a certain older brother.
Go me.
Jul 27, 2010 at 10:43 am rating: 90
#19
You're All Wrong
As the youngest of six, as the one who was told I was “the mistake” or “the accident” I am here to tell you that it’s the older kids who get everything.
I was basically left alone, to fend for myself. I call it my “unsupervised childhood.” Meanwhile, the oldest 3 sibs get DUIs, kicked out of high school, get married too young, get divorced and remarried, join the army to avoid jail time, and other various and sundry adventures.
Quiet little old me was just sitting around, picking up the pieces as they fell.
So all y’all first second and third borns can go suck it.
Jul 27, 2010 at 11:16 am rating: 90
#20
Froget Menot
“Once upon a time, my elder brother loved treating us to Indian Sunburns, one day,he stole”my”specially enhanced Pili-Pili diving googles .
the End
after this the surname “Picrate” stuck on me ,meaning bad wine
Jul 27, 2010 at 11:23 am rating: 90
#21
Froget Menot
And arent we all brothers and sisters on this board… and havent some already got more Thumbachon than you ever will ? lol
Jul 27, 2010 at 12:08 pm rating: 90
#22
NoAdditives
This is exactly why my children are only 18 months apart. My daughter will never remember being an only child. And now, at almost two years old she’s a wonderful helper, loves her little brother immensely, and displays a pretty incredible amount of patience for her age.
Jul 27, 2010 at 2:53 pm rating: 90
#23
Zee
“And now, at almost two years old she’s a wonderful helper, loves her little brother immensely, and displays a pretty incredible amount of patience for her age.”
Hahahahaha.
You’re not at three yet. Oh, you will regret that post. You won’t feel it until the second crawls.
Right into the first’s stuff.
Good luck with that “family planning shall solve all my child rearing problems” thing!
@ the grown siblings, Jesus freaking Christ everyone, get over yourselves. OMGZ imperfect life, mama didn’t spend all the money on MEMEME!
Jul 27, 2010 at 3:01 pm rating: 90
#24 “Testosterone-fueled wackjobs make the darndest threats!” | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] The firstborn, dethroned [...]
Jul 27, 2010 at 11:03 pm rating: 90
#25
Noelegy
I was one of those infamous middle kids. My parents had my older brother, and then when he was 9 years old, because they thought they were unable to have any more kids, they adopted 1-year-old me. From the time I was 3 or 4, they told me that I was adopted and what that meant: that I was special; that they had chosen me; etc. I had a pretty healthy self-esteem about who I was and where I’d come from.
Then when I was 6, my mom unexpectedly got pregnant. In addition to the usual angst of the sudden status of big sibling, I also had to deal with the fact that there was somehow a baby in my mom’s tummy and my dad had somehow put it there. “Wait a minute. I thought everyone went to a big building and picked out their babies!”
But even that wasn’t the worst. I lived in a small town where it didn’t take much to get people talking. And adoption just wasn’t an everyday event. A woman actually came up to my hugely pregnant mom in the grocery store, with little 6-year-old me standing right there, and said, “So now that you’re having one of your own, what are you going to do with her?”
My mom didn’t miss a beat. She said, “Well, the warranty’s run out. I guess we’ll have to keep her.”
That being said, if I was this little girl’s aunt or friend of the family, I would *totally* spoil her, knowing how it feels to be in her shoes.
Jul 28, 2010 at 8:53 am rating: 90
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