It all started when Erin in Toronto sent her uncle a Christmas card. Actually, scratch that — it all started three years ago, at Erin’s wedding, the last time Erin actually saw her uncle in person.
Before the wedding, Erin explains, “Linda (my uncle’s girlfriend) RSVP’d that she’d attend, and then then didn’t bother to show up, meaning we had to pay for her meal anyway.” (Not that she’s bitter about that or anything!) “Since then,” Erin says, “I assumed they had broken up and have addressed the annual Christmas card to just my uncle and cousin.”
Now, while that might sound a bit hasty (or even, dare I say…passive-aggressive), in Erin’s defense, the Christmas cards she received were only signed by her uncle and cousin — this year’s included. And yet, in what appears to be a last-minute back-of-the-envelope calculation, “Linda chose this year to remind me that she was still kicking around,” Erin says.
On the flip side of things, receiving mail addressed to one’s ex can be a disturbing experience as well. I’d say this intercepted message speaks for itself.
related: There are NO pre-paid legal executives (OR FEMALES!) living here!
111 responses so far ↓
#1
Party in my pants
Too bad you don’t have the cheaters new address and could forward all her junk mail with this message!!
Jul 29, 2010 at 4:50 pm rating: 12
#2
Kat
Dude…the story behind that second one is so sad that I can’t even really laugh at it
Jul 29, 2010 at 4:52 pm rating: 42
#3
Baubo
Dear Linda,
I’m sorry I did not put your name on the front of the card, I ran out of ink. Please don’t unfriend me from facebook! I wanted to wish you Merry Christmas on your Wall, but there is no app to remind me. Oh, and by the way, please send me $15.00 for the meal I paid for you. Cash or money order is preferred; no personal checks.
Thanks!
Erin
Jul 29, 2010 at 4:59 pm rating: 41
#4
Baubo
I agree with Kat. I really have nothing to say about the ex’s junk mail. She deserves every bit of misery that befalls her. I have a brother who had a similar situation. He was in Iraq and his young wife sent him official separation papers, stating she “needed more space.” They divorced shortly after.
Jul 29, 2010 at 5:05 pm rating: 8
#5
Nack
Aunty, oh wait, you’re just the girlfriend….
Sorry if you have your feelings hurt, but I sort of have trouble remembering my uncle’s booty-calls… even if they have lasted 13 years….
Jul 29, 2010 at 5:52 pm rating: 49
#6
shaniatwainHAY
The second one is like the opposite of a ‘Dear John Letter’. A John Deer Letter!!! HAHAHA
Jul 29, 2010 at 6:25 pm rating: 2
#7
Canthz_B
♫ One less constituent to answer,
One less chance to lie.
One less vote to go chase after,
I should be happy. ♫
Jul 29, 2010 at 9:04 pm rating: 3
#8
surrahsurrah
Apparently Linda is the only one who knows she lives there. Poor thing has to sneak to the mailbox to write that little cry for help.
Jul 29, 2010 at 10:27 pm rating: 40
#9
Silence
Dear Linda,
Your meal from the wedding is still sitting on the table, cold and unwanted.
Now you know how it feels.
Kisses,
Erin
Jul 29, 2010 at 11:24 pm rating: 49
#10
Canthz_B
Personally, as someone with a wedding coming up soon, I don’t care if our RSVPs show their faces or not…as long as their checks show up and clear the bank, it’s all good!
Jul 30, 2010 at 1:08 am rating: 6
#11
wright1
So Linda has taken three years to scrape together the courage to let Erin know she’s still part of Unc’s household? And even then she can’t put that tidbit on the card but has to put it on the back of the envelope? Love to know the reasoning there…
Maybe something like: “I need to let my common-law niece-in-law know I still exist! My telepathic homeopathic aromatherapy message-transference seems to have failed… I have it! I’ll actually write a note to her on our Christmas card… no wait, that’s no good; silly girl might think I’m being frivolous… But if I put it on the back of the envelope, the sheer passive-aggressiveness will sear her little soul forever! How cunning I am!”
Jul 30, 2010 at 1:11 am rating: 19
#12
LS
Sorry, but if she wants to become a part of the family, she should become one. Pretending to be married, for whatever time it lasts, is not the real thing.
Jul 30, 2010 at 1:38 am rating: 17
#13
JW
Since when did being a soldier in Iraq make you immune to cheating and divorce? Happens to half of all marriages. Just saying…
Jul 30, 2010 at 2:43 am rating: 14
#14
Party in my pants
Cheaters are cheaters no matter where the spouse is located. It’s just sad that a soldier who is defending our country cannot trust his wife.
Jul 30, 2010 at 7:25 am rating: 4
#15
Ponytail
Team Erin, deffo. After six years of never receiving a birthday card from my father-in-law, I decided to stop signing the one my husband sent to his father. Within DAYS, he’d rung up my husband, wanting to know why I hadn’t signed it. Not me, you notice, because in ten years, he’s never once rung me.
And he seemed genuinely shocked that I was pissed off about never having received a birthday card – “but I never send any of my daughters-in-law a birthday card” so really, why should I be hurt.
If the not-yet-an-aunt hasn’t communicated with Erin for three years and didn’t attend an important event without sending an apology, she deserves to be forgotten.
There, glad I’ve gotten that off my chest.
Jul 30, 2010 at 7:29 am rating: 46
#16
bees
the people here making fun of the soldier…you are sick. you have NO IDEA what its like to be in the military, or be part of such a family. the military defends your f*cking right to sit here and spew your brain sewage all over the internet. they protect a womans right to go out in public without a veil, to not be forced into marriage, they protect your right to choose your own religion without fear of being stoned to death, they protect your right to watch what you want on tv, to be able to criticize your government, and so much more. you have to be a pretty gigantic moron if you think that all a soldier does is kill people, and innocent ones at that. you live in a free country because of the people who have STOOD UP FOR THEIR COUNTRY AND DIED for your right to be an ungrateful prick. you dont know what its like to have your spouse, your father, your child, on the other side of the world for months, a year or more, no friends or family or vacation or calling in sick. you dont know the lonliness, the heartache, and to come home and find out that your wh*re of a wife has been sitting at home, spending your hard earned money, and banging another dude, lying to you about it, while you’ve been patiently waiting for her on the other side of the world for what feels like an eternity? do you have any idea what that must be like? i doubt it. why dont you go eat some more pizza rolls and drink some mountain dew and go play world of warcraft, trolls? its probably the only thing you are good at. if you want to criticize the military, that’s your right, but you ought to learn what the hell you are talking about before you start talking about it.
Jul 30, 2010 at 11:19 am rating: 17
#17
Baubo
Back to the topic people.
Does anybody else find it peculiar that Erin sent the card first THEN then uncle responded with a card. Does that mean she was an afterthought, “Oh CRAP, we forgot Erin AGAIN. Better send her one.” Maybe the uncle’s paramour was not home when he filled out the card?
Jul 30, 2010 at 1:51 pm rating: 4
#18
April
My father and I kept getting letters addressed to his friend who was violently murdered after his death. He lived with my father at one point. The worst part was these letters were from the government who of all people should be able to keep track of who is and is not dead.
After sending several letters back marked “Return to Sender HL is deceased” and nothing changing I marked one letter “Stop sending letters here. HL was violently murdered and the police did not do their jobs and find the killer or bring him to justice. Stop rubbing our noses in the fact that he is gone forever and society failed him!”
Sure enough that was the last letter we ever got for him.
Jul 30, 2010 at 5:07 pm rating: 6
#19
Kou
So despite being a part of Uncle’s household for 13 years, Linda can’t be arsed to participate in family events (niece’s wedding) or even sign cards. What exactly does she expect?
Jul 30, 2010 at 8:38 pm rating: 17
#20
whatthe?
Everyone, this site is meant to be a joke. Stop taking it so seriously. This site needs thumbs down as well.
Jul 31, 2010 at 1:57 am rating: 1
#21
gladystopia
Good lord, the SERIOUS!
Well, fine, then. I’ll play.
In 2003 I bought a house, after cleaning up the damage my ex-husband had done to my credit. He was a liar and a cheater and a general all-around crapfest, and so I was exceptionally proud of everything I’d accomplished in his absence. I was ESPECIALLY especially happy that he didn’t know where I was, as before we were married, he’d had an unfortunate habit of showing back up in my life just as soon as I’d get over the latest dirt his lying, cheating ass had done me.
In early 2004, I opened the mail one day and found a course catalog from a college the ex had attended briefly while we were dating. Except it had MY address–my CAREFULLY GUARDED address–but the lying cheater’s name.
I flipped my shit completely. I called the college and demanded to speak to their mailing coordinator, and told her the whole bit about “if this man has somehow found out my address, I will make sure my lawyer blah blah blah blah blah…” (In my defense, I really was scared; try as I might, I couldn’t figure out for all the world how he might have managed to pull this off, nor what it might signify.) The mailing person was apologetic, and a few weeks later I got a letter (addressed to me this time!), explaining that they’d purchased addresses from an outside group and someone had failed to verify blah, blah blah. Which explained exactly nothing, but by then I’d had a few strong drinks and regained a bit of perspective, and my freakout had quieted to a dull roar.
In 2007, as I refinanced the house, I happened to look at one of those pages in the loan paperwork, the one where they talk about property taxes, and I discovered something. The guy who had owned the house two people before me? Had the SAME NAME as my lying, cheating ex. Same first name, same middle initial, same last name. (It was a reasonably common name–not quite “John Smith”, but neither was it “Farquhar L. Ravenswing-Adamantine”, either.)
The moral of this story: don’t marry lying cheating bastards. Also, mail is evil.
Jul 31, 2010 at 2:27 am rating: 17
#22
Lee
Well, since everyone else is chiming in with an opinion:
the bride who was torqued about her uncle’s gf RSVPing and then not showing needs to review her bridal etiquette. A wedding is not a contest, a beauty pageant, nor an opportunity to keep careful score of attendance/gift-giving. Maybe something came up at the last moment for that woman, who knows? Did the bride bother to ASK? In any case she should have just let it go. BTW, gifts are never mandatory at weddings. The common belief these days seems to be that the bride and/or couple are owed a great deal. Revisit your Emily Post, bridezillas.
Jul 31, 2010 at 9:12 pm rating: 1
#23
Toya
The receiverof the 1st note should write back to the sender a note saying “Sorry. Didn’t know you were still around. The only people that seem to acknowledge my existence are Uncle Jim and cousin Terry so what was I suppose to think?”
And it would have been more concise if the 2nd responder simply wrote “The cheating bitch doesn’t live here anymore. Return to sender.” But that would still be pretty passive-aggressive.
Jul 31, 2010 at 10:19 pm rating: 2
#24
Neeners
Bitch slap to Linda for not staying in touch well enough in 13 years to let Erin know she is still in the picture. There’s this thing called the phone….
or maybe Erin could ask her uncle….
just a thought?
Aug 1, 2010 at 1:20 am rating: 1
#25
Zarggg
That first one warrants a “oh, I thought you broke up because you didn’t attend my wedding with him” counter-passive-aggressive note.
If someone’s negligence costs you money, all bets are off.
Aug 2, 2010 at 5:17 pm rating: 1
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Aug 17, 2010 at 6:24 am rating: 0
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