Entries from July 2010
“I have lived in my crappy building for over two years,” says our submitter from New York’s East Village. “It provides great entertainment, as we get a new set of notes built up on the wall every few months about issues such as people stealing Internet or the building smelling like cat pee. Then someone tears them down and we start over. (Though the building does usually smell of cat pee.)”
In the latest installment of note wars, the opening strike was launched by (she thinks) the building super.
Then some other anonymous apartment dweller threw in his or hew own (slightly flashier) take on the matter.
UPDATE: The box weighs in.
And as for that whole “New Yorkers are jerks” stereotype? This cardboard breakdown — spotted by Dianna in Santa Barbara, California — shows that when it comes to condescending rants, East Coasters don’t have a monopoly on rudeness.
related: Stick this down your garbage chute
Tags: excessive underlining · irregular capitalization · neighbors · New York · note wars · recycling
A friend of Kent in San Diego lives in an unincorporated part of the country where raising backyard chickens is legal, despite how his neighbors might feel about it. And if this anonymous note is any indication, those neighbors’ feelings aren’t exactly baby-chick warm ‘n’ fuzzy. (But of course, there’s no way it’s passive-aggressive. Just neighborly concern. After all, it’s all about the children!!!)
related: My neighbor starves his cows!
extra credit: Urban chicken farming — a burgeoning fake trend [Slate.com]
Tags: horses, cows, & chickens · neighbors · noise · San Diego
The following message is a bit long, yes, but I had to post it because it reads uncannily like what I imagine as the epistolary novel of the future — complete with an unreliable narrator à la the Adrian Mole Diaries (or the sub-par American ripoff, Youth in Revolt).
It comes to us from Helen in Northern Ireland, who gives the following backstory: ”So, I met a friend of a friend on a night out and he offered to ‘walk me home.’ Seeing right through that clever ruse, I left, only to be bombarded with no fewer than four texts, a Facebook message and a voicemail all saying some inebriated yet romantic things.”
Months later, Helen ran into a mutual friend of this would-be Lothario, and casually said something along the lines of, ‘He tried to walk me home once, but I think he is a bit strange.’ Shortly thereafter, she received this gem of a Facebook message. “Luckily,” Helen says, “he removed and blocked me from Facebook immediately after sending it. Nice chap!”
related: And women like u wonder why u get judged and labeled shallow
Tags: Facebook · just an asshole · just not that into you · oh no you didn't · spurned lover · TL;DR · U.K.
If you had to pinpoint exactly what’s wrong with America, what would you say? Out-of-control debt? Oil-slicked beaches? The KFC double-down?
Well, you’re wrong. All wrong! Luckily, we have Leia in College Station, Texas and Sarah in Ocean Beach, California to spread the word about the real issue plaguing the nation: people leaving stuff places.
Actually, I take that all back. This might actually be what’s wrong with America today. Happy July 4th, everyone!
related: Do you hate America?
Tags: California · irregular capitalization · misplaced patriotism · Texas
From South Africa, a non-passive-aggressive weekend bonus note!
I wouldn’t be surprised if this sign — from Cheetah rehab center near Capetown — was only posted after the recent demise of some hapless Darwin Award candidate. (One who thought blasting one of the most irritating sounds on earth in the face of a large predatory cat was a good idea.)
Tags: actually totally reasonable · animal welfare · apostrophe catastrophe · noise · South Africa
Our submitter, an English teacher in Thailand, received this letter from a parent so notorious at the school for notes like this that she has her own nickname among the staff — “SS, as in nuttier than squirrel shit.” The exasperating part, our submitter says, is the mother’s uncanny ability to “correct” non-mistakes in her daughter’s essays. (“As you may guess from reading, the daughter’s English is better than her own,” she says.)
And as tempted as she was to correct the mother’s grammar in her note, “I had to stop, for fear of my head exploding.”
If that note left a bit of a bad taste in your mouth (or you’re one of those short-attention span “TL;DR types,”) not to worry: enjoy this end-of-the-year note written to a first-grade teacher in Atlanta. No, it’s not passive-aggressive…just adorable.
related: Sympathy for the Devil
Tags: Atlanta · kids · schools & teachers · Thailand · TL;DR