Your mother doesn’t work here…so security will have to escort her out.

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Your mother doesn’t work here…so security will have to escort her out.

August 2nd, 2010 · 54 comments

I think this has got to be my new favorite (unintentional) twist on the old “your mother doesn’t work here” trope. So congratulations, overbearing office manager! The three hours of company time you spent searching for just the right clip art — not to mention your charmingly cavalier disregard for spell-check — did not go unappreciated!

P.S. I promise, from now on, I will be sure to always clean and scrub the delicious Italian rice balls so graciously provided by the Phantom Mammas infiltrating our kitchen.

FILED UNDER: bold-underlined-caps · cleaning · clip art catastrophe · Denver · dishwasher · irregular capitalization · kitchen · Your mother doesn't...

54 responses so far ↓

#1 crumplet

Your mom is not so graciously allowed

Aug 2, 2010 at 11:15 pm rating: 9

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#2 Tikikala

…. “trope”? Does the PA blogger go to TvTrope or something?

Aug 2, 2010 at 11:17 pm rating: 0

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- #2.1 Melanie
  
  http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/trope
  
  It’s called an education. You should get one, they’re nice.
  
  Aug 2, 2010 at 11:45 pm rating: 46
- #2.2 Maas
  
  I think the notion of the trope is becoming a trope.
  And kudos for equating having an education with being able to search for something on the internet.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 10:07 am rating: 14
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#3 MinnKB

I thought that was what dishwashers were for…cleaning supplies. Why *have* a dishwasher if you’re not going to use it?

Also, why *isn’t* my mom allowed? She’s a much more considerate house guest, and a far better housekeeper than I am. I think you would really like my mom if you gave yourself a chance to know her.

Aug 2, 2010 at 11:22 pm rating: 28

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- #3.1 mamason
  
  Everyone got a chance to “know” her at the company picnic last year and we just can’t have that in the community kitchen. It’s not the communicable kitchen, if you get my drift.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 12:30 am rating: 24
- #3.2 MAMARILLA2
  
  You mother is what we Native Americans refer to as “Bear With WIDE Canyon”.
  What do you mean?
  She is “Doe Who Cannot Keep Legs Together”.
  Huh?
  Your mom’s a slut.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 1:39 am rating: 13
- #3.3 Canthz_B
  
  I’d like to know your mother better…but at $40/half-hour…well, there’s just not much time for small talk.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 2:57 am rating: 12
- #3.4 Mo®
  
  She’s a full release kind of a mom. Me likey!
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 9:32 am rating: 2
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#4 AS

I often find myself scrubbing without cleaning. I think that was a great reminder.

Aug 2, 2010 at 11:24 pm rating: 27

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#5 Abbs

4) F*** you and your mother…you ungracious pricks

Aug 2, 2010 at 11:26 pm rating: 1

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#6 Canthz_B

Rats! I can’t suplly a snarky comment for this one right now.

Aug 2, 2010 at 11:27 pm rating: 10

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- #6.1 infant tyrone
  
  If anon Caliope doth whisper
  To thine ear in suplle verse,
  We supllicate thee share it below.
  Though she be aeons older,
  To Somme e’en more than Earth,
  We young’uns need the rhymmes to grow.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 8:52 am rating: 4
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#7 Nack

That’s okay, I’m bringing Dad. He likes to grill, and that means lighter fluid. Everything will be super clean, fire cleanses.

Aug 2, 2010 at 11:48 pm rating: 22

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#8 Alex

Clean the dishes before I put them in the dishwasher? I thought that’s why we HAD a dishwasher.

Aug 2, 2010 at 11:59 pm rating: 12

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- #8.1 Raincheck
  
  And remember to autoclave all cutlery before putting it away, kthx!
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 2:30 am rating: 9
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#9 fred

couldn’t find the misspelling. can you point it, please?

Aug 3, 2010 at 12:19 am rating: 0

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- #9.1 mamason
  
  I don’t think we should tell him. One can’t always appreciate an answer that another supllies.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 12:27 am rating: 23
- #9.2 Canthz_B
  
  It cood bee anywear.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 12:44 am rating: 3
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#10 Katerinawit

Yes Nack, I like to cleanses everything….

Aug 3, 2010 at 12:21 am rating: 3

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#11 Canthz_B

This is why I keep my own utensils at work, I don’t need your steenkin’ supllies (so graciously provided) you condescending prick!!

Aug 3, 2010 at 12:33 am rating: 9

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#12 Canthz_B

Boy, do I know the perfect housemate for this character.
I wonder how she feels about Brita water?

Aug 3, 2010 at 1:07 am rating: 11

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#13 Wench

Sorry have I missed something here? Whats the deal with the moms not being allowed in the kitchen?

Aug 3, 2010 at 1:11 am rating: 2

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- #13.1 Canthz_B
  
  Yup. You missed something.
  
  Sorry to fish in your pond, mamason.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 1:15 am rating: 4
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#14 JetJackson

I feel sorry for the tall guy in the green teal shirt. He must never be able to find clothes that fit, always banging his head on doorways and being terribly uncomfortable when flying coach.

Aug 3, 2010 at 1:14 am rating: 19

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- #14.1 Canthz_B
  
  Or he’s repeated grade five a helluva lot of times!
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 1:17 am rating: 4
- #14.2 Mo®
  
  I haven’t had my coffee yet and wasn’t reading so closely JJ so I thought you said “flying cooch” I was wondering WTH that is exactly…
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 9:36 am rating: 3
- #14.3 infant tyrone
  
  Flying cooch sure sounds like a first class ride to me…
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 10:17 am rating: 7
- #14.4 Canthz_B
  
  Yes, Miss, I’ll have the Mile High Club sandwich, please…with a Wallbanger!
  
  *happy to be over that fear of flying*
  
  Aug 4, 2010 at 1:20 am rating: 1
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#15 Janellionaire

Is that supposed to be an office photo or an 8th grade class picture? Look, that one guy hit puberty!

Aug 3, 2010 at 1:19 am rating: 14

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- #15.1 Canthz_B
  
  Missed it by that much!
  But only two minutes!
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 1:22 am rating: 3
- #15.2 ISpy
  
  I think this is clip art of a teacher and school kids, though I must admit, the guy with the red cap just right of center threw me. First, he appears to have a receding hairline. Then there’s the possibility that he’s flashing a gang sign, plus wearing your cap askew is definitely suspect. A middle-aged gang-banger at a recruitment seminar? Nope. He’s the guy who takes the short bus.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 11:41 pm rating: 0
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#16 bowloftoast

Ah yes…the gracious provision of luxury items such as plates, cutlery, napkins…stand in awe everyone at the generosity of your corporate overlords, lest you eat with your grimy hands from scavenged hubcaps.

I’ve worked in this place and eaten in this kitchen and there are never enough plates to go around. It’s not ‘bowloftoast’ without reason.

Aug 3, 2010 at 3:53 am rating: 18

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- #16.1 The Elf
  
  But I want to eat with my grimy hands from scavenged hubcaps!
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 6:18 am rating: 9
- #16.2 infant tyrone
  
  After clleaning and scrubbing scavenged hubcaps, please do not leave them in the llint bin…they should go to the recyclling boxes in the garage.
  
  And remember to wipe your feet and wash your grimy hands first.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 9:36 am rating: 6
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#17 Splint Chesthair

Someone should Do a Study on the Intentions of individuals who utilize Random capitalization in Sentences. Is it a way to Add importance to Certain words or is it just a mental Abnormality?

Aug 3, 2010 at 7:37 am rating: 22

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- #17.1 Ndawg
  
  Yeah, I noticed that on Feel Free and Your Mom. (Tell ya what… I always feel free around your mom.)
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 7:43 am rating: 8
- #17.2 RunForTheRoses
  
  Ah so it’s a Subliminal Thing…
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 10:50 pm rating: 2
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#18 TippingCows

Feel Free Your Mom NOT Please.

That’s what I got out of it.

So uh, nobody wants a free feel of my Mom? She’s still pretty hot for her age, actually.

Or clean and scrub my Mom before not feeling her up for free, please?

I don’t know if she likes it in the kitchen, though. You’ll have to find that out on your own. *wink wink nudge nudge say no MORE*

Aug 3, 2010 at 8:11 am rating: 9

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#19 H for Toy

Damn. I was really hoping for a “You’re Mom.”

Aug 3, 2010 at 8:17 am rating: 10

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#20 GhostWriter

…And Saint Attila raised the kitchen supplies up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless these, thy graciously provided kitchen supplies, that with them mayest we clean and scrub, and placeth them into thine dishwasher, in thy mercy.”

Aug 3, 2010 at 9:06 am rating: 14

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- #20.1 Mo®
  
  And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats. Whence they had supped they washed and scrubbed before placing the dishes in thine dishwasher. Not wishing to be naughty in thine sight.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 9:47 am rating: 8
- #20.2 anglophile
  
  Oh snuff it, you two.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 9:59 am rating: 7
- #20.3 infant tyrone
  
  Methinks their goin’ a bit ape with another’s trope there…
  be carefull, be vewy, vewy carefull.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 10:15 am rating: 2
- #20.4 RunForTheRoses
  
  And thou shalt scrub the utensil three times. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt scrub, and the number of the scrubbing shall be three. Four shalt thou not scrub, neither scrub thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number to be reached, then, lobbest thou thy spoon into the dishwasher.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 10:53 pm rating: 8
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#21 infant tyrone

Well, I have seen this scull’ry before
I’ve cleaned these supllies and scrubbed this floor
I used to live alone before I worked here…

Aug 3, 2010 at 10:12 am rating: 7

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- #21.1 anglophile
  
  Thanks for the earworm, ty! It’s a good one.
  
  Aug 3, 2010 at 1:09 pm rating: 2
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#22 Wade

I guess “dishwasher” is actually office code for expensive drying rack.

Aug 3, 2010 at 11:11 am rating: 14

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#23 clumber

dammit… GhostWriter!!! TK Orange soda BURNS when it goes up the nose! I’ll be sneezing blood by the end of the day….

Aug 3, 2010 at 3:33 pm rating: 5

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#24 GhostWriter

It’s just a flesh wound.

(You were baiting me for that, no?)

Aug 4, 2010 at 12:36 pm rating: 3

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#25 whatthe?

Whats with all the nasty comments on this site? Words are spelled differently outside of America. Everyone needs to learn some manners!

Aug 5, 2010 at 2:49 am rating: 1

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- #25.1 Kimmypie
  
  New to this site are ya?
  Newsflash ~ it’s all about being snarky
  Other Newsflash ~ just because it’s being done/written/spelled differently than in America doesn’t make it wrong…and, just for the record, I’m from Texas.
  Also, manners are relative.
  I’m just sayin
  
  Aug 17, 2010 at 3:31 pm rating: 1
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#26 Sara

What’s up with the ’70s clip art and font???

Aug 7, 2010 at 10:45 am rating: 1

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#27 Kristina

Awesome….

& Even better? ‘Supllies!’

Oct 11, 2010 at 1:28 am rating: 0

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