Comments on: NEWS ALERT: Dark alley not the safest place to store your personal belongings

By: Linny

Linny — Wed, 02 Feb 2011 14:12:03 +0000

I would be angry too if my stuff was stolen. In fact I find this a hilarious warning.

By: Rora

Rora — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 03:39:36 +0000

There was some serious anger behind the staplework. >.>

By: Max Time

Max Time — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 14:52:05 +0000

the magnet thieves should get an award for most worth of stolen valuables plus a telelphone poll mentioning of it. Jeez to think the alley way magnet scooter theives just started out to. Look how famous they are now, soon it will be posted on fences and then buildings in the cities. oh my god the possibilities are endless!

By: Paul the security guy

Paul the security guy — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 21:51:08 +0000

All thieves should have a hand removed and have to be shocked with High Voltage (via the testicles) every time they are caught. It might bring down the crime rate as from the looks of things the parents are not teaching them anything.

By: Mo®

Mo® — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 18:31:29 +0000

I am assuming that we are not talking about a “Rascal©” type scooter and that even with his scooter AWOL he would be able to go outside the house. If you are forced to spend a week inside depending on others for the littlest thing with the back of one hand velcro-ed to your forehead in semi-permanent victim oh woe is me mode than shame on you for being such a whiny blubbering dullard! Now pull up your pants, get some therapy for those anger management issues and get on with it Pollyanna!

By: Scooter Guy

Scooter Guy — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 17:18:51 +0000

It pleases me to know that my misfortune has brought so much joy and happiness to the lives of so many internet users. I’m not going to mention how this website is strange beyond imagination. Thanks for posting this up. I’m sure that some latté drinking yuppie will read it while sitting on the patio at Starbuck’s coffee and glance out the window to see a scooterist bashing in the windshield of his brand new 2010 Mini Cooper S.

In conclusion, some of you are correct. People that can only afford to live in apartments should not own anything expensive that they must park outside, especially in the alley. If they must own something that makes them happy they should purchase insurance and pay for it over and over again (with premiums) to ensure that they can never afford a garage.

One day I’ll be able to afford a garage like some of you and then I’ll rant about having my garage broken into while I’m parked at Starbuck’s sipping my latté (Venti of course).

Sincerely, Scooter Guy

(Thanks for the note on my door today.)

By: orinoco womble

orinoco womble — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 16:52:33 +0000

Your shit belongs in the toilet, not lying around in public.
You wanna keep your belongings, keep them at home.
You can’t really be surprised if you leave your stuff unattended in a public area and then discover someone removed it.

By: OldPandaDays

OldPandaDays — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 15:43:57 +0000

oi- is correct; maybe that is not the way it SHOULD be but it IS reality. And common sense dictates that you should make decisions based on the real world. I too live in a city in the USA, and drunk hipsters are pretty low on the list in terms of having your shit stolen. I hope scooter guy has enough money to buy all those stolen parts back from the roaming Mad Max/ Somali drug lord gang when they put them on Craigslist

By: benry

benry — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 13:45:36 +0000

Whew, that was probably a wise choice, even if they are Canadian…

Were they by any chance playing “Red Barchetta” as a tribute to the poor, stripped scooter from a better, vanished time?

By: FeRD

FeRD — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 10:04:38 +0000

Or, people need a dashboard panel. Not every thief has a team of low-lives on retainer, ready to fence all of their ill-gotten loot. Far more common is the lazy bastard robber, or pilferus cheapimus, who will simply grab things he (or she!) personally needs but has no interest in paying for.

Stealing other people’s stuff purely in the interest of making a quick buck off of it? Well… they’d consider that rude.

By: H for Toy

H for Toy — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 03:11:21 +0000

If he typed it out and didn’t use spell check, then he is an idiot who deserves to have his scooter stolen. How’s that for elitist?

By: JetJackson

JetJackson — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 02:24:12 +0000

Renee, ditch the scooter and get a motorbike. Having a vibrating motor between your legs will loosen up a bit of that tension.

By: pucker

pucker — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 00:47:50 +0000

Bohoboho Big crybaby! That’s the chance you take when you live in the big city and put expensive parts on your bike and leave it in the alley. Go back to your little hick world of make believe, and think that you are more deserving than others because you came from a little bubble world where all is fair and just. Life is a chance, I’m assuming your Karma is off track and that you are to wrapped up in materializm and that’s why you were chosen!! You are just going to give your alley a bad name and bring more crime in, by putting it down and probably making it worse than it really is because your a big baby. Live and Learn instead of lashing out on everyone.

By: eslinger

eslinger — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 00:25:55 +0000

Hello, Renee, and welcome to PAN. The laughter and comedy you have witnessed above is what PAN is all about. Getting butt-hurt and being unable to take a joke and see the humor in life seems to be what you’re all about. Please feel free to remove the stick from your ass, kthx.

XOXO,
Me

P.S. – The scooter wasn’t his only form of mobility, unless he had no properly working feet or legs. It may have been, however, his only form of transportation. I imagine he can still walk. Or use public transportation, seeing how he lives in a city (a city of savages, but a city nonetheless). Just sayin’.