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Hard times with hard water

August 8th, 2010 · 83 comments

This seems like a reasonable enough request to ask of your housemates…except for the fact that, as Jason explains, “Our water is full of assorted minerals (and who knows what else), and drips from the ceiling above the bathtub all day.”

Please stop urinating in the bathtub. None of us need to deal with that.

So those yellow stains in the tub? Yeah, not urine. Just evidence of a bathtub in need of some serious scrubbing. (And those pink stains on the water cooler? Probably not lipstick.)

But if your shower smells like piss…well, it’s gonna be hard to blame that on hard water.

Dear Pee Bandit,  Sometime the shower smells like urine. Whoever you are, please stop.  Love, the rest of us

related: Who takes a crap in the shower?!

FILED UNDER: bathtub · Oops? · piss · shower · signed with love

83 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Madrias

    Who the hell pees in the shower or the tub!? That’s just wrong. Animals do that kind of shit, and only when they’ve not been taught any better.

    Oh, by the way: BONUS POINTS!

    Aug 8, 2010 at 7:37 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   We do

      75% of the population pees in the shower, according to polls.

      Aug 8, 2010 at 8:52 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   la

      What’s wrong with it? It saves water, and urine is sterile as long as you don’t have some sort of infection. And as long as you do it at the beginning of your shower, any nastiness is going to be washed away with your soap/shampoo/etc. that goes down after it.

      Aug 8, 2010 at 9:06 pm   rating: 53  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   DwnTwnWiLL

      Oh please, like you’ve never peed in the shower. Everyone does that sh*t at least once, even girls. It all washes down to the same drainage system anyways and your washing yourself. Seriously, get a grip.

      Aug 8, 2010 at 9:44 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   Canthz_B bang

      You all get bonus points for being way too serious on this way too frivolous issue.

      Congratulations…now bugger off.

      Aug 8, 2010 at 11:04 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #1.5   anglophile bang

      Nope, never once peed in the shower, WiLL. Thanks for projecting, though!

      Aug 9, 2010 at 8:17 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #1.6   Mo®

      62% of all data is inaccurate.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 12:26 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #1.7   mamason bang

      Ok. Just a couple of questions. First of all, what animals do you know of that pee in people’s showers? Are you talking about bears and raccoons? Other furry woodland creatures? And how do you teach a bear to not pee in the shower? You seem to indicate experience in this matter. I’m intrigued. Also, a little confused.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 2:09 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #1.8   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      “Does a bear shit in the shower?”

      Aug 9, 2010 at 3:51 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #1.9   mamason bang

      At certain colleges, the brown shower shitting bear is common. In some department store dressing rooms there’s a sub-species, known as poo-bears.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 5:50 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #1.10   0falcon8 bang

      beavers pee in the shower.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 1:05 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #1.11   Savannah

      I honestly believe it’s weirder to NOT pee in the shower. So, if you have to pee while you’re in the shower you are actually going to stop the shower, get out, pee, then get back in and continue your shower? It’s all plumbing, people. And if I’m the one that has to clean the shower then I see nothing wrong with it.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 2:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #1.12   Savannah

      I hadn’t scrolled down enough to see the comment that is nearly identical to mine before I posted this. So sorry. I know some of you hate that.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 2:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #1.13   oi bang

      I honestly believe that you are wrong.
      Exactly! ;)

      Aug 10, 2010 at 2:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #1.14   Savannah

      I’m so excited that someone actually saw my comment. I’m normally weeks behind on commenting and by then everyone’s lost interest.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 2:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #2   Wade bang

    Wait. Some is stealing the pee?

    How is that a problem?

    Aug 8, 2010 at 7:45 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Madrias

      A bandit isn’t always a thief. Just someone who breaks laws (or in this case, rules)

      Aug 8, 2010 at 7:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Wade bang

      And a gigglebrax isn’t always germane.

      But I digress.

      Aug 8, 2010 at 7:56 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   Canthz_B bang

      And jokes don’t have to be 100% factually correct to be funny…because they’re, like…jokes.

      Aug 8, 2010 at 8:02 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   anglophile bang

      Main Entry: ban·dit
      Pronunciation: \ˈban-dət\
      Function: noun
      Etymology: Italian bandito, from past participle of bandire to banish, of Germanic origin; akin to Old High German bannan to command — more at ban
      Date: 1611
      1 plural also ban·dit·ti \ban-ˈdi-tē\ : an outlaw who lives by plunder; especially : a member of a band of marauders
      2 : robber
      3 : an enemy plane


      Aug 8, 2010 at 8:05 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #2.5   Jess Sain

      @Wade : Wait. Someone is stealing the pee?

      How is that a roblem?

      Aug 8, 2010 at 8:58 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #2.6   Wade bang


      Point taken, Jess!


      Aug 8, 2010 at 9:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.7   Canthz_B bang

      Jess, I like what you took away from this exchange! :-)

      Aug 8, 2010 at 11:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.8   park rose bang

      And a Germane isn’t always a Greer.
      And a Grier isn’t always a football player.
      And football isn’t always soccer . . . ;)

      Aug 9, 2010 at 3:18 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.9   infant tyrone bang

      Gertrude, after her fourth ale, “A stein is a stein is a stein is a stein.”
      Gertie galloped with the best of them, but couldn’t stop at ein stein.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 11:05 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.10   mamason bang

      Jess took the P! She’s the bandit! Case closed. 8-)

      Aug 9, 2010 at 2:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.11   infant tyrone bang

      Hey, Sarge….we just got a call from Internal Affairs.
      Buddy of mine over there says their Captain is royally pissed.
      Jess was working undercover on The Princess (and the…).
      They’re sending someone over to figure out who our leak is.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 2:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #3   Flaboy2425

    If I’m taking a shower and want to pee. Should I get out, dry off, and walk over to the toilet? I don’t think so. The shower is running, I’m using soap, and it all goes down the drain together to be washed away forever.

    Aug 8, 2010 at 7:58 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   BrookeDiz bang

      Well, see, if you’ve ever opened the drain, you might see a glob of hair and assorted infested grah-do that gets added to with every shower taken.

      If you don’t clean this glob out of the drain regularly, not all urine that’s added to the glob can exit it. Eventually, the glob stinks like, well, urine, as well as like urine-enhanced grah-do.

      Aug 8, 2010 at 8:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   la

      Ew. Not cleaning the wookie out of your drain on a regular basis is way worse than peeing in the shower.

      Aug 8, 2010 at 9:09 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   Johnny B. Average

      “Cleaning the drain Wookkie” sounds like some kind of horrible euphemism.

      Aug 8, 2010 at 9:11 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   eslinger bang

      I googled “grah-do” to find out what it meant, and I’m left wondering if your drain contains infested headphones or a town in Italy.

      Personally, I have purchased a small plastic product that sits over the drain and catches hair, so the drain doesn’t get clogged as often. It works wonders and costs less than $5 (USD).

      And yes, I absolutely pee in the shower. As someone pointed out, it all goes down the drain. Guys add other bodily fluids to what goes down the drain, so what’s the big deal about a little urine? It’s better than getting water all over the floor and toilet seat. And the toilet paper just sticks to your hands and body parts, then you’ve gotta wipe off the toilet seat afterward. THEN, after all that, you’ve gotta get back into the shower without falling in the process (I’m a klutz and have neuropathy in my feet, so this is a dangerous process for me). OR, you can just pee in the shower and be done with it. Safer, no toilet paper wasted, no extra toilet flush, so really it’s the best solution.

      Many talk about “going green” and say “green is the new black.” So, go for the gold and go green in the process! ;)

      Aug 8, 2010 at 9:15 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #3.5   anglophile bang

      Am I the only one here who has learned that standing under running water is going to make me want to pee, and so therefore, I pee before getting in the shower?


      Aug 9, 2010 at 8:20 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #3.6   Chris

      Am I the only one wondering why anglophile seems so dead set on convincing us that peeing in the shower is a strange, nay, deviant behavior?

      Aug 9, 2010 at 9:16 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #3.7   Canthz_B bang

      Yes…because she didn’t say that.

      Reading is good.
      Reading comprehension is even better.

      What she said was that since she knows running water will stimulate her need to pee, she pees before running the water.

      D_LT…buy a vowel.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 9:24 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #3.8   pony girl

      team anglophile,
      I’ve never peed in the shower either, and I’m a pony for chrissakes!
      and yes, I pee before I take a shower.
      ps- now that I see how many people pee in their showers, i am not going barefoot in there when I stay over.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 9:36 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #3.9   anglophile bang

      But, pg, pee is sterile, don’t you know????

      Aug 9, 2010 at 9:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #3.10   anglophile bang

      Geeze, Chris, you shower-pee-ers seem a little, um, defensive. All I said is that I do not and have not ever peed in the shower. I was thinking maybe I was the freak. Thank goodness I have pony girl here to make me feel a little more normal.

      Besides, I have bigger fish to fry than shower peeing. My guy threatens to go downstairs and pee in the utility sink whenever I beat him to the bathroom. :roll:

      Aug 9, 2010 at 10:03 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #3.11   Mo®

      I don’t think I have ever peed in the shower either. I am a statistical aberration too, YAY!

      “Cleaning the drain wookiee” :lol:

      Aug 9, 2010 at 10:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #3.12   Madrias

      I don’t pee in the shower, either. Always peed before I got in.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 11:27 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #3.13   Flaboy2425

      To pee or not to pee.

      Or, as the Indian said when he saw the ocean, “Who pee?”

      Don’t groan.I know it’s corny. Opportunity opened the way and I couldn’t help it.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 11:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #3.14   BrookeDiz bang


      1. Grah-do = wookie.

      2. Showers and toilets drain to two entirely different places. Thank heavens!

      3. If I’ve already RSVP’ed (P’ed! hahaha) to spend the weekend, I take it back. If you have RSVP’ed (P’ed! hahaha) to me, you are hereby officially ejected from the list.

      Thx, Sandra

      Aug 9, 2010 at 6:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #3.15   Canthz_B bang

      I don’t pee in the shower, but I’ve been known to pee during a shower…brides-to-be love that part of my act! :-P

      Aug 9, 2010 at 7:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #3.16   Plumber

      Unless you have a septic system that has separate legs for grey water and brown water everything is tied together as it leaves the house. Hooked into the city sewage system everything drains to the same places sinks, tubs, showers and toilets.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 10:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #3.17   Z

      Don’t try to educate here. Ignorance is the preferred language, I have found. Let them think that the toilet water magically goes to a place where it is turned to rainbows and wildflowers.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 11:34 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #3.18   GhostWriter bang

      There’s no magic involved- actually, it’s basic Earth Science. All toilet water has the possibility of turning into a rainbow and/or being absorbed into wildflowers at some point in the future.

      Did you think it just flows into the ocean and sits there?

      Aug 10, 2010 at 1:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #3.19   Plumber

      You got me. It is true it goes to a magical place where Patrick Swayze looking centaur unicorns transform it into rainbows and puppy kisses.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 3:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #3.20   Canthz_B bang

      I think GW is referring to the “water cycle”, Plumber.
      Man can interrupt it, but he cannot change it overall.

      Besides, I’ve always thought rainbows were a bit shitty.

      Aug 14, 2010 at 1:41 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    That shower was fucking golden! :-P

    Aug 8, 2010 at 8:04 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   eslinger bang

      CB, that comment made me so proud. It means that I don’t have to say that it was fucking delicious.


      Aug 8, 2010 at 8:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #5   Wolverine Girl

    I love the delightful shade of yellow on note number one. (I said number one! Tehehehehe!) Plus if you look closely you’ll notice that the ink is blurry and there is a largish quantity of what appears to be coarse hairs.

    Aug 8, 2010 at 9:19 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   JetJackson

      It’s PUBETTI! (Pubic Confetti)

      Aug 8, 2010 at 10:20 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   park rose bang

      They’d throw it at weddings, but it gets caught in the teeth.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 3:20 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #6   Kay

    Note #2 is elegant: a simple request lovingly made. I wish everyone wrote so well, PA or not.

    I award nice handwriting points too.

    Aug 8, 2010 at 9:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   eslinger bang

      Totally agreed, Kay. That’s some of the most beautiful handwriting I’ve seen in a while. I wish I could make that into a font. I would use it in place of Comic Sans, definitely.

      There needs to be some sort of official PA font, something that tells the reader, “Hey, I’m really pissed off, but I like to use appropriate font.”

      Aug 8, 2010 at 10:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   Nack

      That’s Comic Sans, already been done. ;)

      Aug 9, 2010 at 12:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #7   ThaMissus bang

    (it’s wookiee)

    Aug 8, 2010 at 10:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Canthz_B bang

      No, it’s new and improved Gigglebrax! Buy some today!! :-P

      Aug 8, 2010 at 11:21 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Snerd

      Cause I’m kind of like Han Solo always stroking my own wookiee.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 12:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    “Please stop urinating in the bathtub, none of us us need to deal with that.”?

    Seems to me at least one person needs to learn how to deal with that.

    Aug 8, 2010 at 11:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #9   Vickie

    After I moved into my newly built house, I kept noticing a vile smell coming from the heater vents whenever the heat kicked on. Yup, one of the construction guys had peed in the vent. Aparently, going over to the Port-A -Potty in the yard (or a tree) was too much effort. The forewoman said sometimes the men pee in the vent. Passive-aggressive much?

    Aug 9, 2010 at 8:20 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   H for Toy bang

      They probably set up cans in the vents and had contests on who could knock over the most cans.

      Seriously though, that’s just vile.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 12:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   Savannah

      Construction workers will pee absolutely anywhere. My uncle used to be a general contractor, so I helped my aunt clean the houses before people moved in. They were absolutely disgusting. I wouldn’t be surprised if every single shower in a brand new house hadn’t been peed in at least once by the people that built the house. I have accidentally picked up a bucket of what I thought was paint that actually turned out to be pee. I have also seen entire jetted tubs filled with pee because the plumbing had not yet been turned on. That’s actually when I stopped helping–the smell was just wayyyyyyy too much.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 2:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #10   mamason bang

    That first note tests my gag reflex. Seriously. 8-O

    Aug 9, 2010 at 3:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #11   claw71 bang

    I pee in the shower all the time. Aside from the fact that it’s environmentally sound, I just enjoy the sensation of turning my bladder loose while hot water cascades over my muscular body. I’ve been known to hold out on a bladder-bursting urge to urinate to wait for the shower to hit the perfect temperature. The draw back to indulging in this guilty pleasure is that I am easy pickings for the hand in warm water prank.

    It’s all pipes. I’ve worked on my plumbing and I can attest to the fact that the tub drain intersects with the very same pipe that connects to the toilet. As long as somebody’s keeping the drain free of hair and bellybutton lint, the urine should go right through without leaving any residual aroma.

    Aug 9, 2010 at 3:43 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Limeliberator bang

      First off, 90% of all statistics are made up. Secondly, there’s nothing wrong with peeing in the shower as long as you follow the ground rules:
      1. You MUST be flying solo!
      2. Never pee in a public shower.

      Interesting facts about pee: if your shampoo contains urea, you’re bathing in pee… sure, it’s PROBABLY synthetic, but it’s pee nonetheless. Also, Madonna swears that pee is antiseptic and will cure athlete’s foot… (I know it works pretty well on warts.. :)

      Besides, the shower is where I learned that girls can aim. ;) Is that an overshare?

      Aug 10, 2010 at 12:49 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #12   Team Cassandra bang

    O! I see some old friends! Amember me?!?!?

    I HAD to come here becuz JUST now I’m catching up on Britain’s Next Top Model and they are making them wear gold lamè unitards! They really are!!! And O! The Notes I`ve Seen! I think of all y’all each time. Just yesterday:
    Please do not leave clothes in the lobby. Take them to Scott Mission” This was replaced later in the day with “Please do not leave notes on the window” YAY! I wish you all were there!

    I will try to get back but my online life got nuts, my computer went nuts, and I found out that I actually have to work! IMAGINE!

    Aug 9, 2010 at 5:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   mamason bang

      I amember you, TC! Nice to see you again. :-)

      Aug 9, 2010 at 5:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Team Cassandra bang

      HAI mamason! I amember you too! *sigh* good times, good times in internetland:)

      Aug 9, 2010 at 6:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   anglophile bang

      Welcome back, TC! Gold lamé unitards for everyone!

      Aug 9, 2010 at 6:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #12.4   Canthz_B bang

      WooHoo!!! A blast from the past!!! Hey, TC! :-D

      Aug 9, 2010 at 7:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #12.5   Team Cassandra bang

      Hey Guys! I betcha the Pee Bandit wears a Gold Lamè Unitard! Why wouldn`t he?! :)

      Aug 9, 2010 at 8:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #13   Team Cassandra bang

    Um…how many people are using these showers?!

    Aug 9, 2010 at 5:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   mamason bang


      Aug 9, 2010 at 7:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   Team Cassandra bang

      Uhuh. Of course. I don’t know why I didn’t figure that out myself.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 8:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   mamason bang

      I wondered the same thing myself. :-|

      Aug 10, 2010 at 5:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #14   pylgrim

    Yeah, and can the person who’s been taking baths in the toilet stop that shit as well? I don’t appreciate the smell of bubble soap when I’m urinating.

    Aug 9, 2010 at 7:19 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Madrias

      Epic win.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 9:31 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #15   Max Time bang

    I have a solution for everyone to be happy, the pee bandits could just scent their piss so it smells like peaches

    Aug 11, 2010 at 9:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #16   El Jefe

    Jeez I know I’m late to the party but no deliberate corrections to the two grammar mistakes (one each) in the notes? What is PAN coming to (or on)?

    Hint: To correct, use these extra characters : [s ( )]. The last two have to be rotated 90 degrees to make sense (to a proofer?).

    Aug 16, 2010 at 3:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #17   nicole e bang

    why ‘pee bandit’?

    Nov 25, 2010 at 9:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   The Elf

      Because “Urea Racketeer” is too pretentious.

      Nov 26, 2010 at 7:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #18   Malcom Reynolds

    Wow. If nothing else, this whole conversation has been entertaining. I for one appreciate the many varied opinions and expressions on shower-peeing.

    Dec 14, 2010 at 12:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up