What do God, recycling, and ultramarathons have in common?

August 9th, 2010 · 62 comments

Uh, you got me. The employees at the Arizona Blockbuster store where the manager posted this sign were similarly stumped. Writes our submitter: “I’m all for recycling, but I have to wonder who’s forcing her to run a 100k marathon…not to mention what that has to do with recycling paper.”

Nothing with personal information on it! Everything else! I have to run 100k marathon, you bitches can recycle. It's God's Way. :)

related: Al Gore knows

FILED UNDER: Arizona · crazy boss · God · recycling · smiley · WTF?


62 responses so far ↓

  • #1   mamason bang

    “You bitches shall have no other gods before Me.” Exo. 20:3

    Aug 9, 2010 at 11:55 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   mamason bang

      “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors bitch.” Exo. 20:17

      Aug 9, 2010 at 11:55 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   mamason bang

      “If thy brother shouldest bitch slap thou, turn the other cheek.”
      Matt. 5:39

      Aug 9, 2010 at 11:56 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   mamason bang

      “And Jesus said unto Saul, ‘Yo bitch! Why persecutest thou Me?’ ”
      Acts 9:5

      Aug 9, 2010 at 11:58 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   mamason bang

      Gee. I guess it really is God’s way.

      Aug 9, 2010 at 11:59 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   livphi

      Awesome! ROFLMAS! Bahahahahahahha!

      Aug 10, 2010 at 12:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   phatBoy

      that’s the spirit mamason !

      keep on trying and one day you’ll get something funny out there..

      Aug 10, 2010 at 10:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   mamason bang

      Oh, now you’ve gone and made me cry. :roll:

      Aug 10, 2010 at 10:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   Liz

      pB – you can say what you want, but I find mamason to be funny (almost) all the time.

      Trying to “thumbs-up” you mamason, but I keep getting a fatal error.

      Hmm, re-reading this sounds a bit kinky…

      Aug 10, 2010 at 11:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   phatBoy

      liz, that’s the spirit! you too keep trying and maybe one day u’ll say something interesting

      Aug 10, 2010 at 11:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   mamason bang

      phatfuck, that’s the spirit. You keep trying and maybe one day a woman that’s not your mother will willingly touch your tiny little prick.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 1:57 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   phatBoy

      ooh, witty! swearing and all!

      keep on trying.. nah, can’t be bothered, there’s no hope!

      Aug 11, 2010 at 7:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.12   H for Toy

      Oh! That makes me think of that little ditty from Tommy Boy… What was it?

      Phatboy with a little dick… Phatboy with a little dick…

      Aug 11, 2010 at 10:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.13   tinkerbell2

      phatboy, what are you, twelve?

      Aug 12, 2010 at 7:03 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   sarah

    COOCAAAINNEE and JJEESSUUSSSS

    Aug 10, 2010 at 12:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   RunForTheRoses

    And Moses turned to the Red Sea, and he said ‘Move bitch, get out the way!’

    Aug 10, 2010 at 12:06 am   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   RP

      OMG, I am stealing this and going to Hell for it!

      Aug 12, 2010 at 2:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Limeliberator bang

    No. She needs to read the bible again. She’s completely wrong. God doesn’t give a rat’s ass about recycling… Buddha, however, is all over that shit! And don’t even get me started on Mohammed and his stinky compost bin…

    Aug 10, 2010 at 12:24 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    Let’s face it…God ALWAYS gets His way…the selfish mother-fucker!

    Aug 10, 2010 at 12:28 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   john

      Wanted to like it CB but it says your comment doesn’t exist.I think I still exist though…

      Aug 10, 2010 at 1:55 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   john

      and evidently i’m a little slow today

      Aug 10, 2010 at 2:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   rabbi schmoolee

      existentially speaking, i can see your comment, it’s there, but when i wanted to say i like it, and apparently your comment isn’t really there.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 10:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Iman Jan

      If I comment and it doesn’t exist am I really here? Are any of us really here?

      Aug 10, 2010 at 11:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Abbot Costello

      But what I really wanted to know is who commented first?

      Aug 10, 2010 at 11:05 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   oi bang

      How do you know if you all are not in my dream?

      Aug 10, 2010 at 2:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    A 62 mile run is a hell of a lot of community service. I’d rather pick-up trash along the roadside…not like I’m not used to picking up trash along the roadside, and some of those girls are really sweet.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 12:34 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    God’s way?

    We’re talking Waste Management. That’s more like Soprano’s way, and he’d be all for all the personal info you could provide.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 12:44 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   JetJackson

    I am just about to do the Sydney Marathon and I can’t wait to finish and finally be able to preface all my requests with the self-righteous phrase “If I can run a Marathon…”

    Although it is tough going and a part of me slightly forgives this person for wanting to use every opportunity to brag about their physical undertaking… did I mention that I am going to run the Sydney Marathon?

    Aug 10, 2010 at 12:53 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Canthz_B bang

      Best of luck, JJ…I get tired running the dishwasher! :-)

      Aug 10, 2010 at 12:59 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Splint Chesthair

      I trained and finished a marathon once, wish I hadn’t because I used to get enjoyment out of running, now I hate it and never do it because marathons are stupid and rightly sucked all the enjoyment out of it for me. But good luck to you!

      Aug 10, 2010 at 6:45 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   JetJackson

      Thanks CB…

      Seriously though Splint, If I can run a marathon, then you can run a… oh hang on. That won’t work. :)

      Aug 10, 2010 at 8:24 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   RP

      Had the note writer actually phrased it that way, “If I can run a marathon…” the note actually would have…well it still wouldn’t make sense but it wouldn’t read like a bunch of unrelated sentences.

      Aug 12, 2010 at 2:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   0falcon8 bang

    i really want to see what’s in the note on the top right. it has an exclamation point and the same awesome marker/highlight tango going on. so it must be important.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 1:01 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   krb

      Also the note on the top left… :)

      Aug 10, 2010 at 6:39 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Grant

    It’s nothing personal.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 6:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Vickie

    Lo, if thy name or address of thy tent shall be on it, cast thine tablet of clay unto the sea. All other brethren, save a tree, lest thine elder brother is required to journey all his days, yea, many furlongs. Such sacrifice is required of him, to allow all slackers to take part in the celebration of that which is worldly, and haseth coming attractions and vile language within, which is of Satan.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 6:58 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Abbot Costello

      Verily Vickie!

      Aug 10, 2010 at 11:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   aaa bang

    I’m pretty sure that there isn’t any god out there who gives a flying fuck about whether you recycle or run a marathon.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 7:19 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   The Lord

      I shall smite thee with furious fury.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 11:08 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   TheOldSchool bang

    You’re mostly right, aaa.

    However, in the deity community, there are a couple of newbies who kinda follow these types of activities in a half-assed, youtube/fark-ish sort of way.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 9:03 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Me

    As an ultra-runner myself, I find this extremely embarrassing.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 9:22 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   H for Toy bang

      As an ultra-recycler, I do too.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 9:46 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   jee

    am i the only one annoyed she wrote 100k marathon?

    there’s no such thing

    (yes, there are ultramarathons i know, but she didn’t say that)

    Aug 10, 2010 at 9:42 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Another David

    I’m not sure if anyone else has pointed it out yet, but 100 kilometers is not a marathon. It’s not even close. It’s not even close to a double marathon. It’s more like 62-63 miles.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 9:53 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Another David

      lol, jee got his/hers in just before me.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 9:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Cady

    This one just makes my brain hurt.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 10:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Jbomb

    The runners high can sometimes make people act a little strange.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 11:44 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   farcical aquatic ceremony

      I’ll say. Some of them even develop the delusion that everyone else admires them for repeatedly running ridiculously-long distances in pursuit of absolutely nothing.
      :)

      Aug 10, 2010 at 1:30 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   GhostWriter bang

    It’s not a 100K marathon.

    It’s the Look Marathon.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 2:04 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   oi bang

    She wants to say, She has to run 100k marathon so other bitches should recycle everything except for stuff with personal information on it. Just in case, if you have trouble deciphering it. It took me only five attempts. I spotted false irony at first. I thought she says no posting of personal info on this board and right after she says she has to run 100K marathon!
    I hope she does not run the way she thinks. It would go something like this. If she is advancing in North and wants to turn at west then her right foot advances in North and left in east while she gazes in west self righteously at bystanders.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 2:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   KS04

    This note isn’t passive aggressive. Can’t you just feel the love that the heart-studded exclamation points emit?

    Also, this is probably another good indicator of why Blockbusters are continuing to close their doors – their managers are too damn exhausted to manage anything after having run 62 miles. Obviously.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 3:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   No-Name

    I am honored to rate this comment up. :)

    Aug 10, 2010 at 3:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   TiggerJenn

    Something tells me she’s more likely running a 10k . . . just sayin . . .

    P.S. Best. Website. Ever.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 4:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   FredGarvin

    I’m hoping that all the employees snapped a quick photo and printed it so they can have a little something to slide across the table and set the tone for the next performance evaluation.

    I have notebooks full. I am an excellent employee.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 5:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Odious

    Actually, it doesn’t look like it says she’s running one 100k marathon; it looked to me like she’s running 100,000 marathons. That wouldn’t be hard if they were each, say, an inch long. But what her God has to do with recycling is a complete mystery.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 7:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   JetJackson

      That would be tough given that is a Marathon every day for 274 years.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 8:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Madrias

      or 274 marathons a day…

      Aug 10, 2010 at 10:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Scarlet

    I’m thinking she’s taking part in an Ultramarathon… The IAAF (International Association of Athletics Federations) runs 100 km marathons, although I’m not sure how often. Very infrequently, I’m assuming.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 9:02 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   pylgrim

    After falling dead of exhaustion around kilometer 30:

    Note-writer: ugh, where am I?
    God: You died, you nong.
    N-W: Why? I was running the 100k marathon as per your will!
    G: Uh, I never said anything of the matter.
    N-W: Oh…
    G: On the other hand you should have minded your plastic bottles in the proper container. I feel not much sympathy for people destroying the nice world I made.
    N-W: Uh-oh.
    G: Also, I’m pretty sure I wrote somewhere about not calling people “your bitches”… unless, you know, you’re actually pimping them.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 12:52 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   Rebekola

    God don’t make trash, but Bitches do!

    Aug 11, 2010 at 8:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Michelle

    A marathon?That’s so cute. I’m about to do a f*****g Ironman, so you when you’re done with your little jog, do you mind coming into the office and sorting the recycling. Then go home and take a nap. And then go see a movie. Then when that’s done, you can come see me at the finish line.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 4:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   RP

      Ironman? Pshh. I KNIT! I take string and turn it into f—ing CLOTHING!

      Hell, they can already make yarn from wood fibers so it’s only a matter of time until they can make yarn out of recycled paper. When that happens I’ll take the recycling and make myself a hat.

      Aug 12, 2010 at 2:16 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     

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