Our submitter in Orange County, California came across this note on a table at the local public library while studying for the Bar Exam. “I figured the added noises would simulate the noises during the actual test,” our submitter says. “Apparently the noise isn’t the only thing that bugs some of the other patrons.” (What’s really bugging me about this note: WHAT IS UNDER THAT WHITE-OUT STRIP ON THE FIRST LINE?)
Meanwhile, Daryl in Vancouver, B.C. spotted this pinned to the bulletin board at his gym. I don’t know if this means I’m going soft, but the thought of creepy bicycle-shorts guy walking up to the bulletin board and reading this while all of the other little kick-boxing vixens look on actually makes me feel sorry for the guy. The note’s amusing, I guess, but it also seems a little…below-the-belt, no?
related: You seem like really nice people, but…
85 responses so far ↓
#1
Tiffany
LOL! The shower one I wish I had done before wile in shcool
Jul 12, 2010 at 9:18 pm rating: 0
#2
Madrias
Okay, that’s a good one. Stinky people need to wash, period.
As for the bicycle shorts thing, yeah, they don’t look good, but I can’t side with the note writer. Give me proof on your statements, or I will say you’re making it up!
Oh, and don’t cite Wikipedia… Icky Wiki- Anyone can edit it.
Aug 10, 2010 at 10:12 pm rating: 3
#3
bowloftoast
Somewhere out there is a very sad and self-conscious German Shepherd that just wanted to catch up on the periodicals.
Aug 10, 2010 at 10:13 pm rating: 52
#4
Kate
I’m betting the writer of the bike shorts note was a guy. Probably a guy who has no problem with female classmates wearing bike shorts. And very possibly a guy who makes those female classmates uncomfortable enough without even having to show his junk.
Aug 10, 2010 at 10:21 pm rating: 43
#5
H for Toy
I’d like to combine these two notes…
I’m sorry if this is rude, but you have abnormally small genitalia.
Aug 10, 2010 at 10:28 pm rating: 75
#6
leftfoot
bicycle shorts and a mustache.
Aug 10, 2010 at 10:30 pm rating: 2
#7
ClearlyDemented
Don’t those Olivia Newton-John headbands double as blinders for such situations?
Aug 10, 2010 at 10:47 pm rating: 2
#8
JetJackson
In 1929 the stock market also crashed mostly due to the fact that Lycra futures plummeted and this was the straw that broke the camels back. Essentially 1929 crash led to the great depression which brought on World War 2 resulting in nuclear weapons.
Just saying… bike pants play an important role in the world order and you shouldn’t mess with that.
Aug 10, 2010 at 11:07 pm rating: 24
#9
0falcon8
the first note-writer will make a fine prosecutor someday…
prosecution: judge, this man positively reeks of guilt! it would be an olfactory injustice if he were to set free to affect the concentration of untold amounts of innocent citizens !
defense: objection! my client, B.O. Pitts is, by law, presumed innocent until proven stinky!
judge: *bang*bang*bang* odor! odor in the court!
Aug 10, 2010 at 11:26 pm rating: 48
#10
tungsten
Hey, I’ve been accused to turning pages too loudly. I feel his pain!
Aug 10, 2010 at 11:52 pm rating: 12
#11
ClearlyDemented
I wonder if it ever occurred to the notewriter that a smelly person in a public library might not have a home to shower in. Let’s just hope he or she also can’t read.
Aug 10, 2010 at 11:58 pm rating: 27
#12
Canthz_B
The joke is on the second note-writer. Our bicycle shorts wearer happens to be a grower, not a show-er. His name is Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. He owns a mansion and a yacht. And until he read this note, he was just about to ask her out.
Aug 11, 2010 at 12:32 am rating: 27
#13
Nack
I love -any- statement that says “Blah blah, BUT…”
Just erase whatever you said before “but”, and that’s what you meant to say.
Aug 11, 2010 at 12:45 am rating: 10
#14
pylgrim
After the carnage product of that second note, “wife-beaters” will be forever renamed to “snarky-PA-writers-beaters.”
Aug 11, 2010 at 12:58 am rating: 15
#15
Canthz_B
The guy has already taken a shower…he’s pee’d in it to mark his territory.
Make no mistake about it…it’s his. I hear no one else wants to deal with it!
Aug 11, 2010 at 3:20 am rating: 11
#16
Splint Chesthair
I’m all for proper gym attire but I think the second note is just plain mean. I don’t see why anyone needs anything more than proper fitting sport shorts and a form fitting t-shirt. Tank tops lead to extra sweaty gym equipment and more skin to machine contact which increases the liklihood of infections.
But most people like this are clueless and if the sight of some dude in spandex and a tank top offends these females, maybe they should stick to Curves.
And it’s distracting to guys for females that do not dress properly. One time I was deadlifting and a girl walked passed in white spandex with no underclothing (it was obvious). I almost blew my spine out from the involuntary neck wrench.
Aug 11, 2010 at 6:24 am rating: 44
#17
Party in my pants
Powder blue tank top and bike shorts??? This guy is gay and looking for a hook up. Perhaps he needs to “put a sock in it” so he can meet someone.
Aug 11, 2010 at 6:40 am rating: 4
#18
Ironman
I am now feeling very self conscious about wearing Speedos and the midriff halter to spinning class last night.
Aug 11, 2010 at 7:02 am rating: 33
#19
LurkingLeigh
As a regular lurker on this site, I just wanted to say what a particularly entertaining list of comments this post has created. I got quite a few giggles out of it this morning. Thank you.
Oh, yeah the second note is creative but quite mean. I’m picturing a blonde sorority chickie writing this on the Mac her parents bought her the day before they paid for her gym membership and credit card bill for her state of the art work out gear. I could be wrong, though. Bike shorts and a wife beater is still better than the thong leotards of the 80′s. That was a look few could pull off.
Thank you, back to lurking…
Aug 11, 2010 at 7:30 am rating: 26
#20
Rebekola
Hey, I’m all for good hygiene, but Mr. Law Student should maybe go somewhere else if it bothers him that much. There must be other places to study. But when you’re an all-too-important law scholar, I guess the world should accordingly revolve around you. I think he’ll make a terrific attorney now that I think of it.
Second one about the bike shorts, one of the the most hateful things I have ever read. I feel terrible for the person that was written about. I really do have a sense of humor, but labeling someone a rapist simply because you think the way they dress is creepy is pretty heinous. Bad karma for that one, Princess.
Aug 11, 2010 at 8:40 am rating: 39
#21
Splint Chesthair
FYI: Wifebeaters can only be white ribbed cotton. Any other color and it’s just a shirt for flamboyant men.
Aug 11, 2010 at 9:00 am rating: 27
#22
Max Time
whoever wrote that must be a british knight of decency
Aug 11, 2010 at 9:35 am rating: 4
#23
GhostWriter
That wife beater would have remained a proper shade of white, if only he hadn’t washed it with his navy blue exercise socks that pull up over his knees.
Aug 11, 2010 at 10:29 am rating: 16
#24
aaa
Twenty bucks bicycle shorts guy does it to make people uncomfortable and has a hidden cam on him or something to capture people’s horrified reactions.
P.S. Sexual predators look like everyone else, note-writer. They’re probably glad for the distraction that bicycle shorts guy provides since it allows them to shelter deeper in their appearance of normality.
Aug 11, 2010 at 10:52 am rating: 19
#25
drsnacks
ewww, like why does that guy at the gym have to be so sweaty and emphatic about his workout?
Aug 11, 2010 at 12:29 pm rating: 7
#26
Notyou
Holy cow, the page design (font choice/layout) of that second note is stellar. Fricking Canadians.
Aug 11, 2010 at 4:48 pm rating: 4
#27
Donna Martin Graduates!
After I was kicked outa home, I ended up moving in with my much older bf (older by 11 years) and living with him during my first year of University.
I often wore a cute blue & white short skirt that had a similar print to a dishcloth (i.e. the words “tea towel” were actually printed on it.)
He was a school teacher (not mine!) and studying for his masters, so we both used to study in the same quiet room at Uni.
One day he found a note that read, “That girl is wearing a tea towel” the day after I had been studying in that room.
Consequently, he picked a huge fight with me about it. Apparently I was asking for the wrong kind of attention? I can’t remember…
We eventually broke up and then he stalked me.
I just felt I had to share that unpleasant episode that came flooding back.
Aug 11, 2010 at 6:58 pm rating: 13
#28
Donna Martin Graduates!
I agree that second note is off-the-charts bitchy.
Aug 11, 2010 at 7:05 pm rating: 2
#29
People Person
Hey, kudos for studying in a library btw! I’m so sick of people setting up a camp site in the Starbucks.
Aug 11, 2010 at 9:25 pm rating: 7
#30
Cordelia
I’m betting the second note writer wrote that after getting ignored or turned down by Mr. Bicycle Shorts. Methinks she doth protest too much!
Aug 11, 2010 at 9:44 pm rating: 5
#31
ian in hamburg
If Daryl found that second note in Vancouver, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Aug 12, 2010 at 12:21 am rating: 0
#32
Michelle
I fell victim to seeing some creep in running shorts sans underwear…I’ll take biking shorts and any highlighting they may do over that any day.
Aug 12, 2010 at 7:47 am rating: 2
#33
Susan
The person who wrote the bike shorts note is a completely hateful bitch. Team bike shorts guy all the way.
Aug 12, 2010 at 3:45 pm rating: 14
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Aug 16, 2010 at 1:30 pm rating: 0
#35
El Jefe
Um, I don’t know what sort of bike shorts y’all have seen/worn but the ones destined for bike seats which I’ve had are padded quite well in the crotch and, if anything, neuter the genital topography of the wearer. Now the PAN Unitard OTOH…
Maybe the writer/boxer should stop staring at men’s crotches unless she ‘delcare[s]‘[sic] her plans to follow through?
Although it is funny to consider criminals as having any sort of ‘uniform’ shouldn’t statistical analysis reveal the most common outfit to be a douchey popped-collar preppy/Old Navy/ J Crew shirt, or whatever frat boy date-rapists are wearing nowadays?
Aug 16, 2010 at 3:48 pm rating: 1
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#37
AC
Neither of these is really funny and both are a little too superior. Both take the P/A cake though.
If you go to a public library looking for impeccable hygiene, you deserve whatever distraction you smell.
And the rapist analogy, combined with concern for the ease and comfort of female classmates says more about the instructor than about the jackass in the cycle shorts. A dress code or women only class would solve the problem diplomatically which suggests that wasn’t his purpose at all.
Don’t know why this post bothered me so much.
Aug 27, 2010 at 7:25 am rating: 1
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