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I’m sorry if this is rude, but…your mere presence offends my delicate sensibilities.

August 10th, 2010 · 85 comments

Our submitter in Orange County, California came across this note on a table at the local public library while studying for the Bar Exam. “I figured the added noises would simulate the noises during the actual test,” our submitter says. “Apparently the noise isn’t the only thing that bugs some of the other patrons.” (What’s really bugging me about this note: WHAT IS UNDER THAT WHITE-OUT STRIP ON THE FIRST LINE?)

I'm sorry if this is rude. But...You smell. And you've been scratching your body constantly. Please go take a shower when you get home. I'm studying for an important exam and your lack of hygiene is affecting my concentration.

Meanwhile, Daryl in Vancouver, B.C. spotted this pinned to the bulletin board at his gym. I don’t know if this means I’m going soft, but the thought of creepy bicycle-shorts guy walking up to the bulletin board and reading this while all of the other little kick-boxing vixens look on actually makes me feel sorry for the guy.  The note’s amusing, I guess, but it also seems a little…below-the-belt, no?

Bicycle shorts are an incredible invention. For the avid cyclist, the form-fitting design allows for freedom of movement temperature control and comfort. But when worn to a boxing class, especially in conjunction with a baby blue tank top, they can pose several dangers both to the wearer and those around him. Beyond the obvious aesthetic perils bicycle shorts can create by highlighting abnormally small genitalia, these types of shorts, when worn with a sky blue wife beater, create unease and discomfort among female classmates. This is mostly due to the fact that in 1928 the official uniform of sexual predators was declared to be black bicycle shorts paired with a powder blue tank top. Thankfully, in 1929, boxing shorts were invented, thereby eliminating any chance of someone showing up to a boxing class dressed as a convicted rapist.

related: You seem like really nice people, but…

FILED UNDER: a little insensitive · attire · gym · library · mean girls · noise · odor

85 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Tiffany

    LOL! The shower one I wish I had done before wile in shcool

    Jul 12, 2010 at 9:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #2   Madrias

    Okay, that’s a good one. Stinky people need to wash, period.

    As for the bicycle shorts thing, yeah, they don’t look good, but I can’t side with the note writer. Give me proof on your statements, or I will say you’re making it up!

    Oh, and don’t cite Wikipedia… Icky Wiki- Anyone can edit it.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 10:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   twhit

      I’m pretty sure it’s made up and meant to be funny. And it kind of is, though I too must be getting soft because I didn’t like it overall, though I did appreciate the creativity. What if the guy wasn’t creepy, just clueless? It just seems like something a “mean girl” in high school would do to humiliate the nerdy guy with no sartorial sense.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 11:40 pm   rating: 71  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   JetJackson

      Yeah anyone can edit wikipedia… for instance I was once having an argument with my ex about this childrens book character that we grew up reading called Grug (Google Grug). Now I was arguing Team Grug had a tail (Grug didn’t have a tail) and she was on Team Grug didn’t have a tail.

      So I went to wikipedia to find out the truth. It turned out I was wrong. Rather than accept defeat at the hands of my ex (who won nearly all arguments) I decided to put my photoshop skills to good use. I photoshopped in a tail and reuploaded the picture to wikipedia. I then got her to wiki it and was all “Suck it! Grug does have a tail!”

      So she still thinks Grug has a tail and we are not together anymore. I guess we couldn’t resolve arguments. As for the Grug article the wikipedia vigilantes fixed it long ago. However in the history it seems to be the target of wikipedia vandals over the years.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 7:35 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   Maas

      I wonder which federal department mandates uniforms for sexual predators. Or is that a states’ right thing?

      Aug 11, 2010 at 10:41 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   GhostWriter bang

      The Catholic church has a uniform of sorts for predators…

      Aug 11, 2010 at 12:51 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #2.5   Canthz_B bang

      So that’s why when a cop arrests a priest for child molestation he gets the “collar”!

      Aug 11, 2010 at 2:49 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #2.6   Limeliberator bang

      oh, Canthz, *facepalm* lol…

      Aug 11, 2010 at 9:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #2.7   FeRD bang

      @ J. J. (#2.2): Just FYI, there are approximately zero Wikipedia articles that haven’t been the target of vandals over the years (or, at least, the article’s lifetime). :)

      Aug 15, 2010 at 9:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #3   bowloftoast bang

    Somewhere out there is a very sad and self-conscious German Shepherd that just wanted to catch up on the periodicals.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 10:13 pm   rating: 53  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   farcical aquatic ceremony

      Make that a very sad and self-conscious and DEAD German Shepherd…he just wanted to give you a thumb (paw?) up…

      Aug 10, 2010 at 10:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   not gen anything

      Is it strange that your post made ME sad? (poor puppy)

      Aug 10, 2010 at 11:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   farcical aquatic ceremony

      (givin’ a thumb no longer results in “fatal” error, sad doggie resuscitated—just in time!!!)

      Aug 10, 2010 at 11:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   shwonline bang

      Poor shepherd. It’s such an underappreciated job. But why does it matter if he’s German?

      Aug 11, 2010 at 3:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #4   Kate

    I’m betting the writer of the bike shorts note was a guy. Probably a guy who has no problem with female classmates wearing bike shorts. And very possibly a guy who makes those female classmates uncomfortable enough without even having to show his junk.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 10:21 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

  • #5   H for Toy bang

    I’d like to combine these two notes…

    I’m sorry if this is rude, but you have abnormally small genitalia.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 10:28 pm   rating: 77  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Alexandra

      I’m studying for an important exam and your abnormally small genitalia is affecting my concentration.

      Aug 10, 2010 at 11:00 pm   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Canthz_B bang

      Your abnormally small genitalia smell bad and you keep scratching them. Time to leave the library and head for the clinic.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 12:26 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   H for Toy bang

      I’m studying the official uniform of sexual predators. My concentration is as a convicted rapist.

      Now that’s really a different note!

      Aug 11, 2010 at 7:25 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #6   leftfoot

    bicycle shorts and a mustache.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 10:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #7   ClearlyDemented

    Don’t those Olivia Newton-John headbands double as blinders for such situations?

    Aug 10, 2010 at 10:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #8   JetJackson

    In 1929 the stock market also crashed mostly due to the fact that Lycra futures plummeted and this was the straw that broke the camels back. Essentially 1929 crash led to the great depression which brought on World War 2 resulting in nuclear weapons.

    Just saying… bike pants play an important role in the world order and you shouldn’t mess with that.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 11:07 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

  • #9   0falcon8 bang

    the first note-writer will make a fine prosecutor someday…

    prosecution: judge, this man positively reeks of guilt! it would be an olfactory injustice if he were to set free to affect the concentration of untold amounts of innocent citizens !

    defense: objection! my client, B.O. Pitts is, by law, presumed innocent until proven stinky!

    judge: *bang*bang*bang* odor! odor in the court!

    Aug 10, 2010 at 11:26 pm   rating: 50  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   mamason bang

      My, aren’t we punny this evening?

      Aug 10, 2010 at 11:34 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #10   tungsten

    Hey, I’ve been accused to turning pages too loudly. I feel his pain!

    Aug 10, 2010 at 11:52 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Sarah

      I’ve been accused of writing too loudly. I was using a pencil and it was apperently making scratching noises on the paper.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 2:22 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Madrias

      I got thrown out of a library for farting too loudly. Not my fault that spicy food gives me gas.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 6:51 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   FeRD bang

      Silence-patrol excesses like tungsten’s and Sarah’s stories (Madrias’, not so much) just make me long for a tricked-out, $5000 gaming uber-laptop. Something monstrous and glowing, with dual high-RPM hard disks, an optical drive that sounds like a 747 starting down the runway for takeoff, a screen I can’t look directly into unless I’m wearing protective goggles, and so many cooling fans it has to be fitted with tornado-prevention baffles. That beauty would be my constant library companion — for note-taking and whatnot, of course!

      And I’d always be conscientious enough to type very quietly.

      Aug 15, 2010 at 9:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   Madrias

      FeRD: You’d likely be interested in my old Gateway. Maybe not so expensive, nor have all those features, but it’s got noisy fans. And keys that you can type on extra loud just to make your statement.

      Plus, with no sound, you can punctuate every mistake in typing with a violent outburst of swearing.

      Aug 20, 2010 at 8:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #11   ClearlyDemented

    I wonder if it ever occurred to the notewriter that a smelly person in a public library might not have a home to shower in. Let’s just hope he or she also can’t read.

    Aug 10, 2010 at 11:58 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Guy

      When I participated in the Homeless Count (a project that helps gather federal funds for assistance programs) my team found several homeless people using the libraries as safe, sheltered places to hang out (and even to sleep). They’d be out on the street at closing, but at least they had a few hours when they were okay.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 12:28 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Splint Chesthair

      I used to work at a library/museum in a large city and let me tell you, the homeless were a big problem. If it was just smelly people, well, you can always move somewhere else. But weekly we had to call the police for threatening behavior and /or masturbatory disgressions.

      It’s one thing to be sensitive to the plight of the homeless, it’s another to be able to go to the library without some guy having a tug across the table while staring at you.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 6:16 am   rating: 48  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   Kat

      Thirding this. I worked at my university library and we always had homeless people just chilling in the library. Yeah, they didn’t smell so good, but it gave them a place to stay for a bit that was safe and air-conditioned/heated. I couldn’t really begrudge them that.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 6:54 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   shwonline bang

      @10.2: …But I digress.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 3:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   billybob

      That smelly note is actually the first one on PAN that I agree with. Being in a library with someone who smells and is scratching themselves would suck.
      Sorry to the “Homeless Count” guy but libraries are not homeless shelters. Being homeless for most people is a choice and for the minority who have genuine psychological problems do you really want them around kids studying?

      Aug 11, 2010 at 8:06 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #11.6   tinkerbell2

      “being homeless for most people is a choice” – do you really, actually think that? Wow.

      Aug 12, 2010 at 6:51 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #11.7   billybob

      tinkerbell2 – Yes I do. As someone who has been homeless and slept on the streets that is exactly what I think. I know hundreds of homeless people. I have gone hungry for days at a time.
      How many homeless people do you personally know – and by that I mean that you know their names and would invite them into your home?
      What part of your middle class existence gives you a better insight than me?

      Aug 12, 2010 at 11:55 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #11.8   The Gecko Hunter

      *treks through the bush*
      Krikey! I’ve spotted a troll! I’m not going to make eye contact with it. It feeds off of attention. Don’t look! Just ease on around it, and hopefully we won’t be caught in a senseless debate with it.
      *continues trek*

      Aug 12, 2010 at 1:22 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #11.9   Natasha

      Why would you choose to be homeless though?

      Sep 18, 2010 at 4:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    The joke is on the second note-writer. Our bicycle shorts wearer happens to be a grower, not a show-er. His name is Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. He owns a mansion and a yacht. And until he read this note, he was just about to ask her out.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 12:32 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   mamason bang

      Yeah, and because all women are really just whores waiting for the highest bidder, she would have gone out with him even though she found him to be repugnant. They would have eventually married and had one child, after which she would promptly divorce him since he was truly on the hook for millions because according to their pre-nup her alimony increased exponentially with the birth of a child. Yep. She fucked that all up.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 12:05 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Canthz_B bang

      FINALLY!! A woman willing to tell it like it is! :-P

      Aug 11, 2010 at 2:11 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #13   Nack

    I love -any- statement that says “Blah blah, BUT…”
    Just erase whatever you said before “but”, and that’s what you meant to say.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 12:45 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #14   pylgrim

    After the carnage product of that second note, “wife-beaters” will be forever renamed to “snarky-PA-writers-beaters.”

    Aug 11, 2010 at 12:58 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    The guy has already taken a shower…he’s pee’d in it to mark his territory.
    Make no mistake about it…it’s his. I hear no one else wants to deal with it!

    Aug 11, 2010 at 3:20 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Madrias

      Perfect melding of this and the last one.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 6:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #16   Splint Chesthair

    I’m all for proper gym attire but I think the second note is just plain mean. I don’t see why anyone needs anything more than proper fitting sport shorts and a form fitting t-shirt. Tank tops lead to extra sweaty gym equipment and more skin to machine contact which increases the liklihood of infections.

    But most people like this are clueless and if the sight of some dude in spandex and a tank top offends these females, maybe they should stick to Curves.

    And it’s distracting to guys for females that do not dress properly. One time I was deadlifting and a girl walked passed in white spandex with no underclothing (it was obvious). I almost blew my spine out from the involuntary neck wrench.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 6:24 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   H for Toy bang

      I actually thought… what if he BIKED to the gym?

      Aug 11, 2010 at 7:15 am   rating: 38  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   Splint Chesthair

      Another good point, maybe he bikes to the gym, a perfectly valid reason to be wearing bike shorts.

      Plus, if his genitals are so abnormally small, then why are all the females so uneasy and discomforted? If I see a baby snake in the garden, I say, “Cool, a little baby snake hanging out in my garden.” If I see an anaconda hanging out in my garden, I’m uneasy and may be discomforted.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 8:57 am   rating: 55  small thumbs up

  • #17   Party in my pants

    Powder blue tank top and bike shorts??? This guy is gay and looking for a hook up. Perhaps he needs to “put a sock in it” so he can meet someone.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 6:40 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Frau Farbuina

      Just remember the sock goes in the front.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 3:33 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #18   Ironman bang

    I am now feeling very self conscious about wearing Speedos and the midriff halter to spinning class last night.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 7:02 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

  • #19   LurkingLeigh

    As a regular lurker on this site, I just wanted to say what a particularly entertaining list of comments this post has created. I got quite a few giggles out of it this morning. Thank you.

    Oh, yeah the second note is creative but quite mean. I’m picturing a blonde sorority chickie writing this on the Mac her parents bought her the day before they paid for her gym membership and credit card bill for her state of the art work out gear. I could be wrong, though. Bike shorts and a wife beater is still better than the thong leotards of the 80′s. That was a look few could pull off.

    Thank you, back to lurking…

    Aug 11, 2010 at 7:30 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   GhostWriter bang

      Boxing bitches are the worst.

      This lady is lashing out because having an active man so close to her obviously scares her. She joined the boxing class because she’s been pushed around and physically abused by men before. She holds a crazy notion that Sally the Tae Bo Leader can actually teach her to defend herself while she trims her tummy, and right in the middle of her false empowerment, here comes a dude, standing right next to her, reminding her of the very reason she slunk into a boxing class in the first place. “He’s probably going to learn all our secret moves and use them on some unsuspecting woman,” she worries. “He’s literally wearing a wife-beater! Plus, check out his flaccid member- it is so much smaller than the engorged dick that Billy shoves into my face every night.”

      Note to Tae Bo Titties- When you poke your ass at a guy in the gym and his crotch doesn’t bulge, maybe he’s just not that into you.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 11:09 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   FeRD bang

      Now I wish I’d signed up for my P-AN account as “Tae Bo Titties”! :(

      Aug 15, 2010 at 9:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #20   Rebekola

    Hey, I’m all for good hygiene, but Mr. Law Student should maybe go somewhere else if it bothers him that much. There must be other places to study. But when you’re an all-too-important law scholar, I guess the world should accordingly revolve around you. I think he’ll make a terrific attorney now that I think of it.

    Second one about the bike shorts, one of the the most hateful things I have ever read. I feel terrible for the person that was written about. I really do have a sense of humor, but labeling someone a rapist simply because you think the way they dress is creepy is pretty heinous. Bad karma for that one, Princess.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 8:40 am   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   MISS Law Scholar

      I’m the submitter of the note. I’m not a mister, I’m a miss. Shame on you for assuming that anybody taking the bar exam is a male.

      For your information, I was merely the submitter of the note, not the one writing it. So that doesn’t make me “all-too-important,” it makes me a worthwhile contributor on this website.

      Please get off your high horse. And yes, I make a terrific attorney, thank you very much.

      Jan 25, 2011 at 3:42 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #21   Splint Chesthair

    FYI: Wifebeaters can only be white ribbed cotton. Any other color and it’s just a shirt for flamboyant men.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 9:00 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

  • #22   Max Time bang

    whoever wrote that must be a british knight of decency

    Aug 11, 2010 at 9:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #23   GhostWriter bang

    That wife beater would have remained a proper shade of white, if only he hadn’t washed it with his navy blue exercise socks that pull up over his knees.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 10:29 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #24   aaa bang

    Twenty bucks bicycle shorts guy does it to make people uncomfortable and has a hidden cam on him or something to capture people’s horrified reactions.

    P.S. Sexual predators look like everyone else, note-writer. They’re probably glad for the distraction that bicycle shorts guy provides since it allows them to shelter deeper in their appearance of normality.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 10:52 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

  • #25   drsnacks

    ewww, like why does that guy at the gym have to be so sweaty and emphatic about his workout?

    Aug 11, 2010 at 12:29 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   GhostWriter bang

      His tanktop doesn’t bother me nearly as much as his permed hair and his sweatin’-to-the-oldies sing-song cheerleading does.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 1:05 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #25.2   Frau Farbuina

      it was the crocheted rainbow legwarmers that creeped me out.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 3:37 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #26   Notyou

    Holy cow, the page design (font choice/layout) of that second note is stellar. Fricking Canadians.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 4:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   aaa bang

      I’m kind of disappointed that it’s so well done. I think the point would be better made if it had inconsistent size, color, and bolding/italicization. Some sort of janky clipart would be especially appreciated.

      Aug 11, 2010 at 8:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #26.2   clumber

      Except the note was already complaining about janky clipart… (cough)

      Aug 12, 2010 at 7:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #27   Donna Martin Graduates!

    After I was kicked outa home, I ended up moving in with my much older bf (older by 11 years) and living with him during my first year of University.

    I often wore a cute blue & white short skirt that had a similar print to a dishcloth (i.e. the words “tea towel” were actually printed on it.)

    He was a school teacher (not mine!) and studying for his masters, so we both used to study in the same quiet room at Uni.

    One day he found a note that read, “That girl is wearing a tea towel” the day after I had been studying in that room.

    Consequently, he picked a huge fight with me about it. Apparently I was asking for the wrong kind of attention? I can’t remember…

    We eventually broke up and then he stalked me. :(

    I just felt I had to share that unpleasant episode that came flooding back.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 6:58 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   clumber

      Hmm… well that shames my unpleasant episode story about my evangelical bicyclist dad and the bike shorts he would wear… in public! As if being a teenager wasn’t punishment enough…. (Hi dad! Love ya’!)

      And yes… that does indeed explain a lot about my special brand of insanity. lapses into incoherent mumbling as PTSD sets in…

      Aug 12, 2010 at 7:59 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #27.2   Donna Martin Graduates!

      I wish my story was actually funny… I was in a pretty dark place yesterday.

      Aug 12, 2010 at 8:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #27.3   wright1

      @Donna Martin Graduates… so some creep PAs your choice of attire and your ex goes ballistic on YOU?

      Talk about creep synergy. Hope you have nothing more than some bad memories about the mess.

      Aug 12, 2010 at 9:26 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #27.4   Donna Martin Graduates!

      I know. It all seemed so illogical to my young mind.

      Aug 13, 2010 at 1:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #28   Donna Martin Graduates!

    I agree that second note is off-the-charts bitchy.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 7:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #29   People Person

    Hey, kudos for studying in a library btw! I’m so sick of people setting up a camp site in the Starbucks.

    Aug 11, 2010 at 9:25 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #30   Cordelia

    I’m betting the second note writer wrote that after getting ignored or turned down by Mr. Bicycle Shorts. Methinks she doth protest too much! ;)

    Aug 11, 2010 at 9:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #31   ian in hamburg

    If Daryl found that second note in Vancouver, I wouldn’t be surprised.

    Aug 12, 2010 at 12:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #32   Michelle

    I fell victim to seeing some creep in running shorts sans underwear…I’ll take biking shorts and any highlighting they may do over that any day.

    Aug 12, 2010 at 7:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #33   Susan

    The person who wrote the bike shorts note is a completely hateful bitch. Team bike shorts guy all the way.

    Aug 12, 2010 at 3:45 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

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    Aug 16, 2010 at 1:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #35   El Jefe

    Um, I don’t know what sort of bike shorts y’all have seen/worn but the ones destined for bike seats which I’ve had are padded quite well in the crotch and, if anything, neuter the genital topography of the wearer. Now the PAN Unitard OTOH…

    Maybe the writer/boxer should stop staring at men’s crotches unless she ‘delcare[s]‘[sic] her plans to follow through?

    Although it is funny to consider criminals as having any sort of ‘uniform’ shouldn’t statistical analysis reveal the most common outfit to be a douchey popped-collar preppy/Old Navy/ J Crew shirt, or whatever frat boy date-rapists are wearing nowadays?

    Aug 16, 2010 at 3:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   clumber

      Sadly I must, with my horrified flashbacks, contradict you. My dad absolutely 100% wore shorts designed solely for biking. He had separate special awful running shorts for running, but that he did after dark and I often ran with him so wouldn’t notice anything past my own nose. (Teenager at the time, you understand).

      The bike shorts were, indeed, padded in the bike seat area (otherwise known as the ass) but there was, terrifyingly, no such neutral gender topography in the.. umm… gender topographic region. I hope you’re happy, now I have to try to find a counselor through my HMO…. runs aways scream/crying….

      Aug 16, 2010 at 4:10 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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    Aug 17, 2010 at 4:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #37   AC

    Neither of these is really funny and both are a little too superior. Both take the P/A cake though.

    If you go to a public library looking for impeccable hygiene, you deserve whatever distraction you smell.

    And the rapist analogy, combined with concern for the ease and comfort of female classmates says more about the instructor than about the jackass in the cycle shorts. A dress code or women only class would solve the problem diplomatically which suggests that wasn’t his purpose at all.

    Don’t know why this post bothered me so much.

    Aug 27, 2010 at 7:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up


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