At the local community centre, Isabel in Bolton, England (Home of the “White Men”) spotted this board put together by some Sunday School children entitled “My Mum is Special.” (Kudos to the teachers for allowing the kids considerable latitude in how they chose to define “special.”)
![My Mum is special because...She is very forgetfull [sic] and never listens. -Jacob](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4135/4805149497_9332bbb5ea_o.jpg "My Mum is special because...She is very forgetfull [sic] and never listens. -Jacob")
related: My Mommy is special because she has a potty mouth.
53 responses so far ↓
#1
ClearlyDemented
Gotta give the kids credit, with the exception of an extra L, these just may be the least cringe-worthy notes, spelling-wise.
Aug 11, 2010 at 10:43 pm rating: 9
#2
Kay
I was going to feel badly for Jacob’s Mom,
but if she read this note,
she will forget that it wasn’t the most glowing report.
Aug 11, 2010 at 10:52 pm rating: 20
#3
Rebecca
I can’t decide whether to be sad for the kid or for the mother. I hope my kids never write a note like that about me
Aug 11, 2010 at 11:08 pm rating: 4
#4
Silence
Kudos to the kid for mastering the alternate meaning of “special” at such a young age!
Aug 11, 2010 at 11:48 pm rating: 38
#5
Canthz_B
Obviously, the first child has substituted the word “special” for “alcoholic”.
Aug 12, 2010 at 12:07 am rating: 27
#6
Canthz_B
Thank you, Jacob, for actually doing the assignment.
You alone thought about your Mum rather than what you get out of the deal.
There is no “me” in “Mum”…not any longer anyway.
Aug 12, 2010 at 12:27 am rating: 10
#7
H for Toy
I think it’s possible that she isn’t very forgetful at all. She just never hears in the first place.
Aug 12, 2010 at 7:48 am rating: 6
#8
Canthz_B
Jacob sees dead people.
Aug 12, 2010 at 8:12 am rating: 6
#9
Denise
Sadly his handwriting is better than mine.
Aug 12, 2010 at 8:48 am rating: 3
#10
Abbot Costello
Hannah
O
ADHD poster child.
Aug 12, 2010 at 9:00 am rating: 1
#11
Pterosaur
Sorry, Jacob. Having a bitchy mother isn’t special. Most people have one of those.
Aug 12, 2010 at 9:12 am rating: 9
#12
Nahhh
I suspect Jacob’s mum is one of those who waited far too long to have a baby, and is now suffering the effects of menopause.
And no, I don’t project. Not at all.
Aug 12, 2010 at 10:05 am rating: 7
#13
infant tyrone
Forgetful ? Oblivious ?
“Kids are different today,”
I hear ev’ry mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
Aug 12, 2010 at 10:55 am rating: 4
#14
claw71
My mum is special because she knows what I like. My ex hated her for it. In retrospect I probably shouldn’t have asked my mum to join us on our honeymoon and even if that was OK, the adjoining rooms were probably over the top but if not for that, my ex would have spent the next 2 years providing me with very average oral sex.
It was the second night of the honeymoon and after a night of standard sexual fare, we decided to get a little more creative. So Rhonda, my ex, decided to be submissive and she got on her knees to perform felatio. I was unimpressed, but I wasn’t going to let on.
“You stupid little twit,” my mum yelled from the doorway. “That’s not how you do it.”
Rhonda was furious and embarassed but she didn’t say anything. After taking some instruction from my mum, she went back at it. Boring.
“You have to do it like you love it, ” mum scolded. “Act like you want every inch of that banger in your mouth.”
Rhonda tried but didn’t get it. She clearly wasn’t passionate about blowing me.
“Get out of the way,” mum said, shoving Rhonda aside. Grasping my penis in that firm but gentle way only a mother can, she looked at Rhonda with contempt and said, “This is what I’m talking about.”
Mum didn’t stuff the whole thing in her mouth and rock back and forth like an amature. She gently licked the shaft with the tip of her tongue. She grazed her teeth against the head and sent shivers down my spine while her right hand gently massaged my balls.
She paused for a second and regarded Rhonda. “He’s so hard,” mum informed. Then her mouth engulfed me. So warm. Her tongue worked in a frenzied, tadpole-like way as whe guided me to the back of her throat and back out to her lips. As she did this, I felt her other hand working its way between my buttocks. I knew what was next and I relaxed, allowing her to get two fingers deep inside of me while she worked magic with her mouth.
Needless to say, it was the best head I ever had. Rhonda obviously took some notes but never matched mum’s enthusiasm. Eventually I moved back in with mum.
Aug 12, 2010 at 11:15 am rating: 14
#15
oi
oh giglebrax fail. this is 14.3
I threw up, metaphorically. You should have some kind of disclaimer here. Well I should know better, your name is itself a disclaimer.
Aug 12, 2010 at 1:51 pm rating: 8
#16
Tiffany
omg that is what my kid would say
XOXO,
http://outfitidentifier.com/
Aug 12, 2010 at 2:10 pm rating: 0
#17
David
Visit AllThingsDisliked.com for more!
Aug 12, 2010 at 2:32 pm rating: 0
#18
Nick
Is this Jacob from Lost?
She didn’t listen very well, and she killed people, forgetting to tell her adopted kids about it.
Aug 12, 2010 at 2:46 pm rating: 2
#19
oi
Yo mama is special because…
she is special.
Aug 12, 2010 at 3:02 pm rating: 2
#20
GhostWriter
In honor of our MILFy theme:
Fountains of Wayne
Jacob’s mom, forgot she had a son (x4)
Jacob can’t get a ride home
After schoo-oo-ol (after school)
She forgot you again
that ain’t coo-o-o-l (no that ain’t cool)
Did your mom forget,
she’s your special pal? (special pal)
Don’t she care?
You know she never listens at all (never listens at all)
You know she’s not the special mom
that you thought she’d be
Her head’s messed up now
Jacob can’t you see?
Jacob’s mom, is not a special mom,
She’s all messed up- her brain’s fading, so wrong
Jacob can’t you see? She’s just lost her sanity
You tell her all day long but,
She’ll forget her only son
Aug 12, 2010 at 4:49 pm rating: 8
#21
Mo®
Man I bet Edward’s mom is a real special bitch by comparison.
Aug 12, 2010 at 5:58 pm rating: 3
#22
Mel K
Jacob’s Sunday School teacher must really like his mum to place it on top and in the front for all other parents to see.
Top marks for keeping PA in the Sunday School curriculum.
Aug 12, 2010 at 6:53 pm rating: 5
#23
TeacherLady
As a teacher I have to say that sometimes I purposely hang things like this in a prominent place. Parents need to know what their kids think of them; if it hurts, there’s probably some truth in it. Of course I teach middle school kids, but still. I also like to hang a kid’s really shitty, I-don’t-give-a-crap assignment next to a really nice one. Go ahead, call me passive aggressive, it wouldn’t be the first time.
Aug 12, 2010 at 8:07 pm rating: 24
#24
andrew
brarrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it’s “titled” not “entitled”! brargggghhh someone on the Internet isn’t using proper grammar!
Aug 13, 2010 at 11:12 am rating: 0
#25
Max Time
well i think the one by jacob shows his mom is truly “special”. Either that or jacob is going through a weirdo rebellious phase in his life
Aug 13, 2010 at 4:20 pm rating: 0
#26
jason
“Kudos to the teachers for allowing the kids considerable latitude in how they chose to define “special.””
Ah yes, because kids should be encouraged to tell the truth…right up until the truth doesn’t match the script they’re to play to.
Aug 14, 2010 at 5:54 pm rating: 0
#27 A Special Mother
[...] Jacob's mom meant to complain, but she forgot … My Mum is special because. She is very forgetfull [sic] and never listens. -Jacob. [...]
Aug 15, 2010 at 11:06 pm rating: 0
Comments are Closed