Jacob's mom meant to complain, but she forgot.

#1 ClearlyDemented

Gotta give the kids credit, with the exception of an extra L, these just may be the least cringe-worthy notes, spelling-wise.

Aug 11, 2010 at 10:43 pm rating: 10 small thumbs up

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#1.1 ClearlyDemented

…however, the clip art and font more than make up for it.

Aug 11, 2010 at 11:32 pm rating: 5
#1.2 Clumber

Except, CD, the kids were probably just handed the slips with the clipart and font already there… unless handwriting lessons have become Stepford Wives Creepy. I don’t think the kids earn a demerit for either.

Points for Jacob. for coloring outside the lines and refusing to engage in propaganda!

Aug 12, 2010 at 7:45 am rating: 21
#1.3 spoko

Seriously? That’s what you have to give them credit for?

This is one of my biggest problems with this obsession people have about spelling/orthography/grammar. It can blind you to things that are truly important.

This kid is honest, open, and clear. Given a choice between any of those attributes and good spelling, I know which I’d prefer my own child to have.

Aug 12, 2010 at 10:13 am rating: 5
#1.4 The Elf

Why couldn’t you have those attributes AND good spelling?

I wasn’t a good speller as a child, which is why I learned how to use a dictionary. Now it’s doubly easy since there are free online dictionaries. Open, honest, and clear students who are also bad spellers can learn to use dictionaries too in order to communicate effectively. That’s important too.

Aug 13, 2010 at 10:59 am rating: 2
#1.5 Kimmypie

I taught English (writing/grammar) for years & can’t spell. I think Google is the best for checking spelling…

Aug 16, 2010 at 9:23 pm rating: 0

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#2 Kay

I was going to feel badly for Jacob’s Mom,
but if she read this note,
she will forget that it wasn’t the most glowing report.

Aug 11, 2010 at 10:52 pm rating: 20 small thumbs up

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#3 Rebecca

I can’t decide whether to be sad for the kid or for the mother. I hope my kids never write a note like that about me

Aug 11, 2010 at 11:08 pm rating: 4 small thumbs up

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#3.1 Nack

Oh heck no. Those kind of notes mean Jacob’s mom is doing her job. Those kind of notes are the best kind!

Jacob’s mom is “forgetfull”.
Jacob:”Mom? Where is my MegaBlaster10000??”
Mom: “I forgot.” (stuffs it deeper in the closet)

Jacob’s mom “never listens”.
Jacob: “Mom! Timmy is touching my stuff. Mom! Timmy said I smell! Mom! Timmy is making a face at me!”
Jacob’s Mom: “What dear? I couldn’t hear you over the keening…”

Aug 12, 2010 at 1:51 am rating: 49
#3.2 Christina Pillsbury

I’m surprised, that you think that is what is going on at home. I don’t presume to know, but obviously, you must know more than I, to say that ‘Jacob’ is annoying, and that his mother is doing well.

However, I’m not in your esteemed position, and because of such, I presumed differently.He could be a smart ass. That could be the case, and that he’s simply “sucking up” to get attention, or to put his mother in bad light.
Or, in another light, he could simply be right: maybe his mother does forget- maybe his food, clean clothes, picking him up from places… And maybe she doesn’t listen- doesn’t listen to him ask for meals, console him when he cries, or answer him when he’s calling for her- trying to find out where she is.

We don’t know. We are not Jacob.
From his note you can only surmise two things: that he is a smart-aleck, and that his mother is parenting well, or perhaps, that he loves his mother- that she is special-even when she doesn’t listen, and forgets-that she is his mother, and he loves her regardless-that he knows no other type of mother.

I say: let’s hope, let’s pray it’s not the latter, but rather- the former. Wouldn’t you?

Aug 14, 2010 at 12:58 pm rating: 1
#3.3 anglophile

Oh for fuck’s sake. It’s a JOKE. People are making JOKES.

Aug 14, 2010 at 1:17 pm rating: 13
#3.4 aaa

THE INTERNET IS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS ANGLOPHILE. THERE IS NO JOKING ON PAN. THIS IS A PLACE FOR SERIOUS DISCOURSE.

Aug 14, 2010 at 4:59 pm rating: 9
#3.5 much to my chagrin

I am surprised, that you think that is what is going on here, ‘Glo. I don’t presume to know, but obviously, you must know more than I, to say that ‘Christina’ is annoying, and that Nack is making a joke. We don’t know. We are not Nack or Christina.
From his comment you can only surmise two things: that he made a joke, and that Christina misinterpreted his comment, or perhaps, that he was dead-fucking-serious about the whole thing and Christina- knowing this, gave a correct and accurately-punctuated response- that she knows no other type of response.

I say: let’s hope, let’s pray it’s not the latter, but rather- the former. Wouldn’t you?

Aug 14, 2010 at 5:37 pm rating: 13

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#4 Silence

Kudos to the kid for mastering the alternate meaning of “special” at such a young age!

Aug 11, 2010 at 11:48 pm rating: 38 small thumbs up

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#5 Canthz_B bang

Obviously, the first child has substituted the word “special” for “alcoholic”.

Aug 12, 2010 at 12:07 am rating: 27 small thumbs up

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#5.1 RunForTheRoses

Or perhaps ‘pothead.’

Aug 13, 2010 at 6:33 pm rating: 1

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#6 Canthz_B bang

Thank you, Jacob, for actually doing the assignment.
You alone thought about your Mum rather than what you get out of the deal.

There is no “me” in “Mum”…not any longer anyway.

Aug 12, 2010 at 12:27 am rating: 10 small thumbs up

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#7 H for Toy

I think it’s possible that she isn’t very forgetful at all. She just never hears in the first place.

Aug 12, 2010 at 7:48 am rating: 6 small thumbs up

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#8 Canthz_B bang

Jacob sees dead people.

Aug 12, 2010 at 8:12 am rating: 6 small thumbs up

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#9 Denise

Sadly his handwriting is better than mine.

Aug 12, 2010 at 8:48 am rating: 3 small thumbs up

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#10 Abbot Costello

Hannah
O
ADHD poster child.

Aug 12, 2010 at 9:00 am rating: 1 small thumbs up

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#11 Pterosaur

Sorry, Jacob. Having a bitchy mother isn’t special. Most people have one of those.

Aug 12, 2010 at 9:12 am rating: 9 small thumbs up

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#12 Nahhh bang

I suspect Jacob’s mum is one of those who waited far too long to have a baby, and is now suffering the effects of menopause.

And no, I don’t project. Not at all.

Aug 12, 2010 at 10:05 am rating: 7 small thumbs up

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#13 infant tyrone bang

Forgetful ? Oblivious ?

“Kids are different today,”
I hear ev’ry mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down

Aug 12, 2010 at 10:55 am rating: 4 small thumbs up

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#14 claw71 bang

My mum is special because she knows what I like. My ex hated her for it. In retrospect I probably shouldn’t have asked my mum to join us on our honeymoon and even if that was OK, the adjoining rooms were probably over the top but if not for that, my ex would have spent the next 2 years providing me with very average oral sex.

It was the second night of the honeymoon and after a night of standard sexual fare, we decided to get a little more creative. So Rhonda, my ex, decided to be submissive and she got on her knees to perform felatio. I was unimpressed, but I wasn’t going to let on.

“You stupid little twit,” my mum yelled from the doorway. “That’s not how you do it.”

Rhonda was furious and embarassed but she didn’t say anything. After taking some instruction from my mum, she went back at it. Boring.

“You have to do it like you love it, ” mum scolded. “Act like you want every inch of that banger in your mouth.”

Rhonda tried but didn’t get it. She clearly wasn’t passionate about blowing me.

“Get out of the way,” mum said, shoving Rhonda aside. Grasping my penis in that firm but gentle way only a mother can, she looked at Rhonda with contempt and said, “This is what I’m talking about.”

Mum didn’t stuff the whole thing in her mouth and rock back and forth like an amature. She gently licked the shaft with the tip of her tongue. She grazed her teeth against the head and sent shivers down my spine while her right hand gently massaged my balls.

She paused for a second and regarded Rhonda. “He’s so hard,” mum informed. Then her mouth engulfed me. So warm. Her tongue worked in a frenzied, tadpole-like way as whe guided me to the back of her throat and back out to her lips. As she did this, I felt her other hand working its way between my buttocks. I knew what was next and I relaxed, allowing her to get two fingers deep inside of me while she worked magic with her mouth.

Needless to say, it was the best head I ever had. Rhonda obviously took some notes but never matched mum’s enthusiasm. Eventually I moved back in with mum.

Aug 12, 2010 at 11:15 am rating: 14 small thumbs up

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#14.1 eslinger

O_O

Way to keep it classy, claw. But seriously, that was very well-written, just like those incest porn books that I used to read while working in the adult book store.

I thumbed you (but probably not like your mother did).

Aug 12, 2010 at 12:13 pm rating: 17
#14.2 GhostWriter

That is so weird, because I had a very similar honeymoon, only in my case it was Dad dressed up as Mum.

Aug 12, 2010 at 12:16 pm rating: 10
#14.3 Rebecca

thats nasty.

Aug 12, 2010 at 1:59 pm rating: 2
#14.4 Cunning linguist

I always preferred Gram-gram’s gums to mom’s teeth. When those dentures came out I knew I was in for something special.

Aug 12, 2010 at 2:14 pm rating: 9
#14.5 Andi

Thanks to cunning (or is that cumming?) linguist for that very special visual.

*pulls out the brain bleach and a bucket*

Aug 15, 2010 at 8:34 am rating: 1

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#15 oi bang

oh giglebrax fail. this is 14.3
I threw up, metaphorically. You should have some kind of disclaimer here. Well I should know better, your name is itself a disclaimer.

Aug 12, 2010 at 1:51 pm rating: 8 small thumbs up

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#15.1 claw71

You knew where I was going midway through the first paragraph and you kept reading because you’re every bit as demented as I.

Aug 12, 2010 at 6:39 pm rating: 14
#15.2 oi

Damn it Claw! but in my defense I kept hoping you won’t.

Aug 12, 2010 at 7:10 pm rating: 2

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#16 Tiffany

omg that is what my kid would say

XOXO,

http://outfitidentifier.com/

Aug 12, 2010 at 2:10 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#16.1 Somorous

Still pandering that POS link huh?

Aug 12, 2010 at 2:16 pm rating: 6
#16.2 Lurker

Die.

Aug 12, 2010 at 3:05 pm rating: 1

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#17 David

Visit AllThingsDisliked.com for more!

Aug 12, 2010 at 2:32 pm rating: 0 small thumbs up

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#18 Nick

Is this Jacob from Lost?

She didn’t listen very well, and she killed people, forgetting to tell her adopted kids about it.

Aug 12, 2010 at 2:46 pm rating: 2 small thumbs up

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#19 oi bang

Yo mama is special because…
she is special.

Aug 12, 2010 at 3:02 pm rating: 2 small thumbs up

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#19.1 GhostWriter

Yo Mama is so special…
…if you wait until tomorrow to buy her, it’ll cost you 50% more.

Aug 12, 2010 at 3:56 pm rating: 2
#19.2 Mo®

Yo Mama is so special…
She has a blue light in her bedroom.

Aug 12, 2010 at 6:00 pm rating: 6
#19.3 claw71

Yo momma is so special…

…her pimp throws in a pine tree air freshener and a toilet brush free of charge when you book her for an hour.

Aug 12, 2010 at 6:37 pm rating: 1

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#20 GhostWriter bang

In honor of our MILFy theme:
Fountains of Wayne

Jacob’s mom, forgot she had a son (x4)

Jacob can’t get a ride home
After schoo-oo-ol (after school)
She forgot you again
that ain’t coo-o-o-l (no that ain’t cool)
Did your mom forget,
she’s your special pal? (special pal)
Don’t she care?
You know she never listens at all (never listens at all)

You know she’s not the special mom
that you thought she’d be
Her head’s messed up now
Jacob can’t you see?

Jacob’s mom, is not a special mom,
She’s all messed up- her brain’s fading, so wrong
Jacob can’t you see? She’s just lost her sanity
You tell her all day long but,
She’ll forget her only son

Aug 12, 2010 at 4:49 pm rating: 9 small thumbs up

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#21 Mo®

Man I bet Edward’s mom is a real special bitch by comparison.

Aug 12, 2010 at 5:58 pm rating: 3 small thumbs up

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#22 Mel K bang

Jacob’s Sunday School teacher must really like his mum to place it on top and in the front for all other parents to see.

Top marks for keeping PA in the Sunday School curriculum.

Aug 12, 2010 at 6:53 pm rating: 5 small thumbs up

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#23 TeacherLady

As a teacher I have to say that sometimes I purposely hang things like this in a prominent place. Parents need to know what their kids think of them; if it hurts, there’s probably some truth in it. Of course I teach middle school kids, but still. I also like to hang a kid’s really shitty, I-don’t-give-a-crap assignment next to a really nice one. Go ahead, call me passive aggressive, it wouldn’t be the first time.

Aug 12, 2010 at 8:07 pm rating: 25 small thumbs up

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#23.1 Significant

Wow, you seem like a bitch of a teacher.

Aug 14, 2010 at 12:52 pm rating: 1
#23.2 Andi

No more like a “Fine, your parents are gonna be shitheads because I tried to make you do something so I’m gonna humiliate you in the only way I know how” teacher. Kudos.

Aug 14, 2010 at 9:14 pm rating: 0
#23.3 A teacher

Yep, a real bitch. You know students have lives outside the classroom, right? That some are going through extremely rough times at home, or may have learning difficulties that you, with your bachelor’s degree “expertise”, may not be noticing?

Let me guess: you thought that, as a teacher, you’d be “in charge” of a room, be unsupervised most of the day, have an easy time of it (after all, they’re not exactly learning calculus) and have three months vacation every year. Cushy job. Right?

It’s not about you. It’s about the kids. You’re supposed to be patient with them, leading by example and preparing them to be good citizens. You should feel very, very ashamed of yourself and I sincerely hope you reevaluate your choice of profession before you ruin another child’s opportunity for education; perhaps a nice job in the custodial circuit?

Aug 15, 2010 at 4:39 pm rating: 2