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Dropping the Big C…for charity

August 15th, 2010 · 127 comments

Courtney in Missouri was perusing the silent auction items at a political fundraiser she was attending when she noticed the bit sheet for a gift basket called “Pamper Yourself or Someone You Love.”  Although the basket was valued at $235 (the full amount, of which, of course, was going to the fundraiser) no one seemed to have the temerity to outbid the $100 bidder. I wonder why?

$100.00 - for someone who has CANCER!

$100.00 - for someone who has CANCER!

When she stopped back just before the end of the auction, Courtney says, “my repeated taking of pictures of the bidding sheet seem to have led the person in question to raise their bid to $125…without any reference to possibly terminal illnesses.”

Perhaps Carol rethought her “charitable” decision to gift the basket to someone with cancer. (Chemo-induced vomiting is bad enough, but foisting Eat, Pray, Love on someone? Now that’s just cruel.)

related: Playing the Holocaust card

FILED UNDER: Missouri · oh no you didn't

127 responses so far ↓

  • #1   much to my chagrin

    Where are the rest of the quotation marks? Aaah!

    Aug 15, 2010 at 3:02 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up


    Someone else could have bid……they just needed to figure out what trumps cancer

    Aug 15, 2010 at 3:17 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   snilly

      Maybe $105 for “someone who is already dead!

      Aug 15, 2010 at 4:20 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Pops

      Earl, please visit RRR and tell us you’re not dead.

      Aug 15, 2010 at 11:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   Wolverine Girl

      $110 for “a mildly depressed zombie.”

      Aug 16, 2010 at 2:19 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   Splint Chesthair

      I definitely would have put “for a cute CHILD with cancer”

      how do you trump that?

      Aug 16, 2010 at 7:48 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #2.5   Mo® bang

      “For woman that lost her entire family in a freak waterslide accident (and she has cancer).

      Aug 16, 2010 at 9:55 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #2.6   Woman on the Verge bang

      For the kid with the cleft lip in Africa with nothing to eat but a few grains of dirty rice prepared in polluted water….

      Aug 16, 2010 at 3:06 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #2.7   Sean Jungian

      I dunno, WotV, I might be more inclined to send that kid some drinking water and a bag of rice rather than a dvd, book, and massage (you know how brittle their bones are!)

      But I definitely would have put a bid down for “$125 – for someone ELSE who has Cancer!!!”

      And then I’d have written “Suck it!!”

      Aug 16, 2010 at 5:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #2.8   Spork Girl

      How about “for a teenage girl who has both cancer and AIDS and is missing her prom and will never go to college. And her mother is an alcoholic and her stepfather is beats her.”
      Beat that one. I dare you.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 8:34 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #2.9   Trish

      yeah that’s pretty tragic u win lol

      Aug 16, 2010 at 10:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #2.10   Canthz_B bang

      Earl, I’ll see your cancer, and raise you an Ebola virus?

      Aug 17, 2010 at 1:23 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.11   Cordelia

      $100.01 for a 9-11 survivor who was just diagnosed with cancer. And is a child. And recently suffered the loss of her pet hamster.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 6:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #3   KS04

    Using someone else’s C card is like using your grandmother’s handicap parking permit or that legally-blind-at-night friend to cut through the lines at airport security . . . during the day. (And also getting free admission into Kew Gardens).

    Kind-of dirty. But then, it did save me £20 and I made that flight to Dublin, so . . . yeah . . .

    Aug 15, 2010 at 3:24 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

  • #4   Significant

    although the bidder has good intentions, its still a bit tacky in my opinion. the person is also preventing the charity from raising more money. just an all around bad move.

    Aug 15, 2010 at 5:11 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   merkin4

      It’s NOT a charity. It’s Democrats.

      Take all the money you can from them.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 10:31 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   The Elf

      Don’t bid on anything then. A $100 bid, even for an item valued at $200+, is $100 in the Women’s Democratic Club’s pockets, less any expenses of throwing the event. The item was most likely donated from a store or assembled by a member and donated. That’s how it worked for the last charitable event auction I participated in. We donated an item to the auction, bid ran to a little over $100. The entire amount went to the charity in question.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 1:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   Donna Martin Graduates!

      ^ Isn’t that how charity works?!

      Aug 16, 2010 at 8:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   Canthz_B bang

      BACK OFF everybody!! Significant is here to tell us right from wrong. Who are we to question?

      Aug 17, 2010 at 1:21 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #5   Will

    This comment is for someone who has cancer.

    Aug 15, 2010 at 5:12 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   much to my chagrin

      This comment is “for someone who has Cancer!

      Aug 15, 2010 at 5:39 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Mo® bang

      This comment is for someone that is a Cancer.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 3:31 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    The bid increments were supposed to be $5 and Carol upped the bid $25 and tossed in a free “Make a Wish Foundation” line.

    I wonder if she enjoyed the gift basket she so desperately wanted for herself?

    Aug 15, 2010 at 5:37 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Ndawg

      Hope she went home and tortured herself with Julie and Julia.

      Aug 15, 2010 at 6:56 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    Next time I go to the emergency room for a sprain, before I leave home I’m going to shave my head and once there claim to be suffering side-effects from my chemotherapy session…and by the way, my ankle hurts too!

    What the hell? I’m tired of reading 4 month-old waiting room Sports Illustrated magazines.

    Aug 15, 2010 at 5:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   infant tyrone bang

      Only 4 months old ?!
      Down here the chiropractor’s top waiting room treat is a 2007 issue of a magazine dedicated to Canada’s Arctic Territories (at least it’s in English).

      Aug 15, 2010 at 6:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   lulz

      who goes to the emergency room for a sprained ankle?

      Aug 15, 2010 at 7:54 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   Canthz_B bang

      People who know that a severe sprain is hard to tell from a closed fracture, for example?

      In particular, severe strains and sprains of:

      845.01 Deltoid (ligament), ankle
      Internal collateral (ligament), ankle

      845.02 Calcaneofibular (ligament)

      845.03 Tibiofibular (ligament), distal

      If “closed fracture” sounds like an oxymoron to you, just Google it.
      If “oxymoron” sounds like I’m calling you a name…well…you’re probably partly right.

      Health claims examiners rule! ;-)

      Aug 15, 2010 at 8:52 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   mystic_eye

      I was determined NOT to go to the ER for my last sprained ankle. I was determined that I had suffered all night I could find an x-ray clinic that was open on a weekday.

      I found two close to me. One had disappeared (or the address on the website was wrong, pick one). The second had been open since 9, it was then noon -they would be happy to have me join the full waiting room, but the doctor had yet to arrive and they didn’t know when he would arrive.

      I. gave. up. I had two kids in the car and it was heading towards nap time.

      I swear you can never find a damn x-ray lab when you’re in agony. Need an x-ray for something that could wait another month and you’ll find three that can fit you in that morning.

      Aug 15, 2010 at 11:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #7.5   faina


      Aug 23, 2010 at 12:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #8   Mike Oxlong

    I would have outbid them and put “For child with cancer” ;)

    Aug 15, 2010 at 7:49 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   claw71 bang

      I would have outbid them and put, “screw you and your cancer.”

      Aug 16, 2010 at 2:48 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      We know, Claw. And you would have expected the screwing to be part of your bid, too.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 3:08 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   Canthz_B bang

      Cervical cancer patients need love too!

      Aug 16, 2010 at 7:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #9   Courtney

    We thought of outbidding her for someone who has ALS, but we figured public humiliation would be more satisfying than dropping $200 on a gift basket that none of us wanted.

    Aug 15, 2010 at 7:57 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   clumber

      clapping… clapping…. Indeed it is more satisfying… for us too.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 3:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #10   Guy

    That whole combination really is sort of a nightmare-in-a-box anyway. The pedicure is okay, but ewwww … the rest of it is like being smothered with a Care Bear.

    Aug 15, 2010 at 8:07 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #11   Ken Yee

    Having lost friends and family to CANCER, I’m all for playing the C card when appropriate – I just hope the cancer patient got the goodies.

    Aug 15, 2010 at 8:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Patti

      wow, I’m speechless.

      Aug 15, 2010 at 8:25 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Sean Jungian

      Playing the C card to get a deal on an item for a fundraiser? That’s appropriate use of the C-card?


      I suppose in your eyes it would have only been better if the C-card dropper had been able to bid in the $20 range rather than having to blow an entire $100. Sheesh.

      Aug 15, 2010 at 8:45 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   The Elf

      Cancer’s common enough that most people know someone with it, whether they survived or not. I’ve lost two grandparents and a good friend to cancer, does that mean I get to play the c-card at every opportunity? (And all three people really would have hated Julie and Julia……)

      BS. It’s a political fundraiser. If you believe enough about the cause, bid for the item you want regardless of what you do with it to the level you’re comfortable with giving. If you really want to do something special for your friend/loved one with cancer, do it regardless of the political fundraiser.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 7:26 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   Sean Jungian

      I see an entire guilt-free avenue for privileges and freebies opening up for all of us with big-C Cancer-having friends and relatives!

      - Grocery store fast-checkout: “I know I have 45 items here in the 15 items-or-less checkout, but I KNOW SOMEONE WITH CANCER!!!”

      - First seating on airlines: “Now seating elderly passengers and those with young children, and ANYONE WHO KNOWS SOMEONE WITH CANCER!”

      - Online bidding for eBay: “$5 for this retro beanie baby – FOR SOMEONE WITH CANCER!”

      Aug 16, 2010 at 9:34 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   Significant

      thumbed :D

      Aug 16, 2010 at 7:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.6   Canthz_B bang

      You want a medal or something? :-D

      Aug 17, 2010 at 1:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.7   BurstingAtTheSeams

      Many massage therapists won’t work on cancer patients because the massage can actually cause the cancerous cells to spread more quickly.

      And a manicure would almost certainly entail all kinds of carcinogens.

      Besides that, chocolate and sugar are highly acid forming once digested, and create an ideal environment for cancer to spread (as opposed to alkanize forming foods, like lentils, pumpkin seeds, and raspberries).

      Heh. If you play the C card, at least pick an appropriate gift.

      Aug 23, 2010 at 12:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #12   marci

    Actually, massage is contra-indicated for people with cancer…

    Aug 15, 2010 at 8:31 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Xenobiologista

      Are you serious? I can understand why massaging the tumour would be a bad idea, but in general? (too lazy to check PubMed atm)

      Aug 16, 2010 at 1:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Splint Chesthair

      what about erotic massage from those strip-mall places.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 7:50 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   Zira

      Massage used to be contraindicated (like in the 1990s) because it causes circulation of the lymph system, and the thought was that it would cause the cancer to spread. Massage therapists who stay current know that it’s no more harmful than light exercise. The more you know…

      Aug 16, 2010 at 10:05 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #12.4   Tracy

      Manicures & pedicures are still contraindicated for chemo patients.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 1:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #12.5   clumber

      How about wishy-washy vapid feel good books? Are those contraindicated as well? I would hope so…

      Aug 16, 2010 at 4:00 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #12.6   Sirius¤ bang

      You mean there’s something more harmful than exercise?

      Aug 16, 2010 at 6:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #13   Spaghetti

    Am I the only one who sat here wondering what Carol meant by her bid of “$100. N”?

    Aug 15, 2010 at 8:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Significant

      Looks like an “N’ but she actually just wrote in 100.00 (no cents). Like someone’s going to come in and bid 100.58 cents. Dur.

      Aug 15, 2010 at 8:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #14   Katerinawit

    lulz…where do you go witha sprained ankle?

    Aug 15, 2010 at 8:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #15   Gwen

    I’m a fan of the comfort booties.

    Aug 15, 2010 at 9:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #16   BB

    Am I the only one annoyed that the gift basket says “Victoria Secrets”

    Aug 15, 2010 at 9:56 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   FeRD bang

      The only one who’s mentioned it, yep!

      Aug 15, 2010 at 10:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   Canthz_B bang

      Actually, I was too busy thinking about how kinky Pampering someone I love might be, but then realized I wouldn’t want that particular moisture absorbed so well!! :-P

      Aug 15, 2010 at 10:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   EARL HAMSHER

      maybe it’s a knockoff of victoria’s secret.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 12:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #16.4   Mace Elaine

      It’s the second thing I noticed (after CANCER). It would be pretty awesome if there was a store in Victoria, BC, that also sold lingerie. They’d probably get hit with a C&D, though.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 2:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.5   FeRD bang

      It could, however, be a store in Victoria, BC that sells something other than lingerie! After all, a “Dream Angels Gift Box” could mean almost anything. (…In addition to a lawsuit; it would almost certainly mean that.) In fact, the mind is awash with possibilities…

      Aug 18, 2010 at 12:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #17   The Judy

    Pops, I love you. Marry me, it’s legal in Cali now.
    The Judy

    Aug 16, 2010 at 12:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Sirius¤ bang

      Ms. Garland, is that you?

      Aug 16, 2010 at 6:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   Sirius¤ bang

      By the way, marrying your Pops has been legal in Utah for as long as I can remember.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 6:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #18   surrahsurrah bang

    The only C-Card I would use to get that gift basket would be “for someone who is a C*nt!

    Aug 16, 2010 at 12:16 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Significant

      ^ *Facepalm*

      Aug 16, 2010 at 12:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   surrahsurrah bang

      haha, in retrospect I am seeing the influence 30 Rock’s episode where Liz gets called the ‘c-word’ had on me that night… although I would never wish Eat Pray Love on anyone unless they deserved it.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 10:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #19   Canthz_B bang

    I know that getting a pedicure would be of great benefit to me in case of cancer.

    Unfortunately, the pharmaceutical industry has buried all research proving the curative powers of emory boards.

    Aug 16, 2010 at 12:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Xenobiologista

      Emory could be quite useful for cancer, they have an oncology department.

      I think you mean emery boards =)

      Aug 16, 2010 at 1:41 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   Canthz_B bang

      The curse of being a straight man (yeah, I like Bud Abbott better)!

      I’ll leave the misspelling, so as to keep the curse! :lol:

      Aug 16, 2010 at 2:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #20   People Person

    How about, “$105 for Holocaust survivor”?

    Aug 16, 2010 at 11:15 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   The Elf

      But does the Holocaust survivor have cancer?

      Aug 16, 2010 at 1:12 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   claw71 bang

      105.50 for a somebody with Priapism.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 2:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #20.3   clumber

      Wait… are we bidding on the afflicted now? I’ll take bi-polar with narcolepsy for 200.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 4:02 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #20.4   Mo® bang

      What is, “I’m not dead yet”?

      Aug 16, 2010 at 4:28 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #20.5   anglophile bang

      You’ll be stone dead in a moment.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 5:01 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #20.6   Mark bang

      No, you won’t. You’re just pining for the fjords!

      Aug 16, 2010 at 5:28 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #20.7   Canthz_B bang

      607.3 for priapism
      296.89 for bipolar disorder
      309.81 for Concentration camp syndrome, a form of PTSD (yes, there’s a code for that)

      Stop me before I code again! :lol:

      Aug 17, 2010 at 2:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #20.8   FeRD bang

      345.43 for someone with a palindrome!

      (…and 666.69 for someone who lets Palin drone?)

      Aug 18, 2010 at 12:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #21   claw71 bang

    “Cancer schmancer,” my grandfather once told me during one of his tirades about how tough his generations was. “When I was a kid we called it consumtion and it was always fatal. Now you pussies have your ‘keno-therapy’ and radiation. When I was your age radiation was in bombs and it was always fatal!”

    I tried to explain that the radiation used in cancer treament was indeed fatal and most people who went through the treatment were taken to the brink of death.

    “Brink of death?” He yelled. “What do you know about it? I was in dub-a-yuh dub-a-yuh two, while you were crapping your diapers. I lived my whole life on the brink of death, champ.”

    I explained that I wasn’t crapping diapers until we were in the waning stages of Vietnam.

    “Oh, and I supposed you want a cookie for that, don’t you, Nancy? I see all these Vietnam vets whining about POWs and not being respected when they came home. You know why? YOU LOST! That’s exactly what I’m talking about. When I was a soldier we won our wars and it wasn’t the kind of pansy-ass war where the enemy took POWS, they killed you dead. Those Japs didn’t care and even if they took POWs, we would have rescued them because my generation got things done. That’s because we had quality diseases like consumption weeding out the weak. We were winners because we weren’t dragging around the walking wounded every step of the way. My brother, Earl, died fromt he flu. You’ve had the flu ten times since I’ve known your sorry ass and your no-good whore of a mother has had cancer twice. It’s not because your tougher, the diseases are weaker. You make me sick, boy. So you can take your cancer pity party and shove it up your silky little asshole!”

    Aug 16, 2010 at 2:42 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      So, you’re bidding 100.20 for cranky asshole war vets?

      Aug 16, 2010 at 3:12 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #21.2   mamason bang

      If only we could somehow turn that cranky asshole into a comfort bootie…

      Aug 16, 2010 at 4:05 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #21.3   Significant

      Claw strikes me as one of those people that loves to hear themselves talk.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 7:37 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #21.4   oi

      yeah Claw will strike you. Be afraid, be very afraid!

      Aug 16, 2010 at 7:40 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #21.5   Significant

      *shakes* maybe he’ll put me in one of his stories now.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 7:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #21.6   claw71 bang

      You caught me. I love to hear myself talk. I actually have my mp3 players filled with me reading my own rants. It’s awesome. You can’t even imagine how excellent I sound. I have the captivating cadence and inflection of a smooth jazz dj—Not the fussy morning drive jock who does farm bureau reports but that late night cat who works in a lot of Miles Davis even the the PD keeps telling him that Mile’s experimental psychedelic jams aren’t really smooth jazz. Fuck you , pal. Smooth is a state of mind.

      But, alas, you can’t hear me, can you? You can only enjoy my written work. It’s too bad because if you could hear me say the things I write you’d beg for more. Kind of like your mom does when I’m reaming her from behind. And she loves to hear me talk.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 9:34 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #21.7   Significant

      Case in point. Blarigity Glargh Blargh Nargh. Christ.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 11:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #21.8   Canthz_B bang

      I love Significant, it thinks personal attacks should be accepted in silence, and that’s just too cute for words.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 1:14 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #21.9   Significant

      No hun, somewhere between silence and ranting and raving would suffice. But I appreciate the attempt at trying to peg a complete strangers thoughts. And yes, I’m cute as a fucking button. Love me. :)

      Aug 17, 2010 at 2:03 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #21.10   Canthz_B bang

      But that’s not for you to say.
      claw can be silent, rant or rave or anything in between (Goodness knows I do from time to time)…it’s a free internet, and you have no mute button no matter how much you may identify with buttons.
      What? You think because you register your dissatisfaction with claw’s style he’ll change?
      You must have awesome powers, or think you have at least.
      Or maybe you just like to hear yourself talk.

      And no, my name isn’t Attila, and I wouldn’t love you with his dick.
      Apostrophes are free, go ahead, use them. ;-)

      Aug 17, 2010 at 2:24 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #21.11   Vickie

      Reminds me of Cotten Hill, Hank’s dad.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 7:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.12   Significant

      Funny you should come nipping at my ankles in claws defense canthz, you’re the other regular on here that is constantly trying too hard to be funny. I do have awesome powers. I have the ability to not be an annoying twat. Pretty cool, huh?

      Aug 17, 2010 at 1:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #21.13   anglophile bang

      Of course, for those of us humble enough to not love to hear ourselves speak, it is pure torment to be forced to comment on humor blogs like this!

      Aug 17, 2010 at 1:51 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #21.14   oi

      Love ya glo!

      Aug 17, 2010 at 2:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.15   Canthz_B bang

      No, wrong again. #21.10 was quite serious. No attempts at humor on my part there.

      And about not being an annoying twat?…EPIC FAIL on your part.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 9:34 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #21.16   Significant

      Awesome “I know you are but what am I” there. *facepalm* exit stage left.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 9:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.17   Canthz_B bang

      Well, you sure as hell aren’t exiting on the right.

      Besides, it was much more of a “takes one to know one”. ;-)

      Aug 17, 2010 at 10:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #21.18   FeRD bang

      I do occasionally wonder exactly what it is that’s in Significant. Because it’s quite obvious that there’s a lot going on there, in Significant.

      Perhaps an autopsy will tell us. Perhaps soon, if we’re lucky!

      Aug 18, 2010 at 12:20 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #22   Elizabeth

    I have cancer. Where’s my damn basket?

    And yes, mani/pedi’s are contraindicated for people in chemo due to the potential for infection. Massages are OK depending on the type of cancer, but you want to use someone with training in oncology massage, not a random “Massage Envy” type of place.

    Oh, and chemo doesn’t make me vomit, but the “Dream Angels” gift basket might.

    Aug 16, 2010 at 4:34 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Sean Jungian

      What is a “Massage Envy” type of place? Is that the kind with the “happy ending”? Just curious, as I’ve never heard of massage envy but it sounds like something I’d like.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 5:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.2   Significant

      It’s basically a chain massage place. Like the ones you see in malls.

      On a completely unrelated, side note, I think this website should make a chatroom for its followers. Think it has a lot of awesome characters that would enjoy shooting the shit, if you will. Yeah.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 7:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #22.3   Canthz_B bang

      Never work. A chatroom would just attract a lot of troublemakers! ;-)

      Aug 17, 2010 at 8:37 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.4   anglophile bang

      Personally, I’m waiting for the day my engraved invitation comes in the mail.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 9:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.5   Sirius¤ bang

      Your suggestion has been forwarded to headquarters.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 10:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.6   Canthz_B bang

      Wouldn’t it be wild if they actually called it “Troublemaker Headquarters”?

      Aug 17, 2010 at 11:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #22.7   infant tyrone bang

      There’d be so much acrimony; it would just turn into a Fight Club.
      And all those rules! There would be no feeling of community at all.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 11:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #22.8   FeRD bang

      I experienced a really hot chain massage once… all the other attempts resulted in utter disappointment. They’re just so damn hard to orchestrate. I can’t even imagine trying to make a business out of it!

      Aug 18, 2010 at 12:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #23   strudel

    @ Canthz 7.3 comment…. That is all fine and dandy that you are framilier with ICD-9 and how it relates to claims. However, as a Health Claims Examiner, you should know, that if I go to the ER for a sprained ankle, my claim will be rejected, I will foot the bill (no pun intended) and be advised to go to a prompt/urgent care or my PC next time.

    DAMN HMO’s!


    BTW – Stop “coding” in NOC’s and NEC’s. CMS is going to fine your establishments ass for not using ultimate specificity. Your obviously not a CPC so get over yourself. Oooo… I know code’s so I am bad-ass…..

    Aug 17, 2010 at 11:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Canthz_B bang

      WTF is “framilier”?

      Actually, in many states it will not be “rejected”. BTW, “excluded” or “denied” are the proper terms…your claim may even be “pended” for additional information. We accept all claims and reject no submissions. The service rendered may be “excluded” (not covered) under the plan, or “denied” for any number of reasons…invalid coding, duplicate claim submission, etc.
      Learn the jargon if you want to appear to understand insurance, which you obviously think you do, but clearly do not. Maybe you’re “framilier” with some of it though. Let me break it down for you. Take notes. There will be a quiz later.

      Many states have passed laws which state that an emergency is anything that a reasonable person might consider to be an emergency (I won’t even go into what we glean from the Revenue Codes the on the hospital’s bill, because you work in a doctor’s office and may not know anything about how much information is supplied on a hospital bill). Most reputable insurers have adopted this as a guideline for all lines of business regardless of state. Hell, when I was paying Medicaid claims in New Jersey, we were forced to pay ambulance bills for nosebleeds…theory being that we couldn’t determine the severity of the nosebleed, its cause or how long the nose in question had been bleeding.
      Not every area has “Urgent Care Centers”, but they are a great option where available. But you’re still not going to go there because you have a sprain, you’re going there because you think you may have broken your ankle. Otherwise you’d have wrapped an Ace bandage around it and stayed your ass home.
      Can you say “moot point”?

      I’m a claims examiner, not a coder, so I do know how and why the decisions on eligibility and ineligibility are made…because that’s what I do (not what you do). I also have access to a nice little toy called EncoderPro. So I can determine why improper coding does not clear my claims software. Coders don’t know insurance policies, they know how to code diagnoses…sometimes. Sometimes, they screw up so badly we can’t pay their claims.
      In fact, I spent all day today and will spend most of tomorrow reprocessing claims an anesthesiologist’s office submitted with incorrect units entered on the 1500 form. How is that my fault? But I have to fix what some idiot biller screwed up last year. No problem, I know how to calculate the proper units, and the “damn HMO” isn’t going to make them resubmit corrected bills. We’re nice like that, so I’ll do their job for them.

      If you cannot walk because of a severe sprain of your ankle, it would be reasonable for you to believe you have a broken ankle.

      We do not require that you KNOW your diagnosis BEFORE you see a qualified physician.

      That would be stupid…or you have crappy insurance, one or the other. How I, as a claims examiner, should know what crappy insurance you’ve purchased that would deny your ER claim escapes me, as the plans I pay would not deny the claim you described above. Believe it or not, not all insurance plans have the same benefit levels. Yours just may suck, but you get what you pay for. If you carry minimum liability on your car, you can’t tell the world that NO auto insurance covers collision just because your sorry, cheap policy doesn’t.

      If you have chest pains and think you’re having a heart attack go to the ER. Trust me, if it turns out to be acid reflux, you’ll still be paid.
      Finally, I wasn’t given medical records to review in my above coding, so I could not be more specific on the Bipolar Disorder (so many types, so little time)…maybe because these were not real patients, nor actual claims being prepared for submission in expectation of payment.
      Sure, I could have made up an accident so I could add an E-code for the ankle sprain, but why bother here?
      After all, I’m supposed to be an uneducated, lowly, clerk…right?

      Maybe if more medical office administrators took the time to remember that all valid claims will be paid, and stopped trying to find sneaky little ways to slip a claim past the insurance companies, you wouldn’t be so against the HMOs that pay the bills your providers submit which pay your salary.
      You think we don’t keep records of suspicious claim submissions or something? Just because your claims went through, doesn’t mean you haven’t been flagged.

      You could then devote more time to spelling and grammar. How you run a medical office but don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re” frightens me, but sheds great light on some of the fucked up claim submissions that cross my desk.

      On the bright side, you do seem to know something about your part of the health care industry, but just your part…and just a little something. ;-)

      Quiz time: What is a deductible carryover provision? What is an allowable ineligible? When do you admit that some people know their jobs better than you know their jobs?

      Aug 17, 2010 at 11:37 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #24   Pancake

    Dear ” Canthz_B”, thanks for the novelesque post that nobody is going to read.

    Aug 18, 2010 at 11:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   anglophile bang

      Dear “Pancake”,

      I read it.

      Hugs and kisses,


      Aug 18, 2010 at 12:24 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #24.2   Mark bang

      “Pancake,” I also read it. I know very little about the insurance industry and I love to learn new stuff. It was quite enlightening.


      Aug 18, 2010 at 12:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.3   Stewie

      I am framilier with bamulances. I sped red it. Very informative. But, I like the arcane and the profane.


      Aug 18, 2010 at 1:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.4   The Elf

      I read it. I am confused now, and need a massage, a mani/pedi, a Victoria’s Secret gift box, some chocolate, and chick-flick and chick-lit to use as coasters. I bid 125.

      Aug 18, 2010 at 2:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.5   Generation Bexx

      When we get around to having that chat room, it would be just so [uber-awesome] if it was compartmentalized (like our thinking), and have sections for the illiterate, the loquacious, and the talented.

      There should also be an exam for the ‘talented’ chat room, for obvious reasons.

      ***erased text where i tried to be an illiterate dumbass who couldn’t spell for a joke but then started thinking of existentialism and the futility of it all***

      That was a nice informative to the “american?” health [industry]… the subject was american shit, right? So kind of interesting on a whole, but really irrelevant to myself as a Canadian? Good stuff. You’re well written. Congratulations. Really.

      My dad died of ALS last year. It’s right up there with the nasty deaths that this jackass c-card person was eluding to.

      The whole Cancer thing… the whole Entitlement thing that we are so motivated about as westerners. It’s just a whole other topic.

      A forum, if not that chat room idea would be nice so that we could talk about the [important] things, like why the last three generations (the last being the kids in preschool/gradeschool now) are so fixated on ruminating in their own defecated entitlement, and lack the previous generation’s free and progressive thinking.

      It should be pretty fucking apparent now that we’ve entered a phase of human existence where we SHOULD BE functioning more towards a global awareness… yet we’re still stuck – i have to say it again – Entitled to all the bullshit that we perpetuate. Takes “grow up” to a whole new level.

      I’m existentially exhausted with the repetition of falling in circles as a species, but appreciate the mild gossip-socialization-drama need that this thread has filled. Damn, i’m one of you too.

      Aug 18, 2010 at 3:35 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #24.6   Mark bang

      Bexx, in other words, you’re saying some variant of “Kids These Days”? Eh, you hoser?

      How about this:
      “The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

      Commonly attributed to Socrates (though that may be apocryphal). The point is, adults have been bemoaning “Kids These Days” since time immemorial. But somehow the kids generally turn out alright.


      Aug 18, 2010 at 3:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.7   Canthz_B bang

      “Pancake”, I read it…wait…never mind.


      Aug 18, 2010 at 7:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.8   Generation Bexx


      Mark, you couldn’t be farther from grasping my point.

      I’m sorry that i was misunderstood on that colossal scale, i don’t know your demographic, vice versa… but i was hoping that the involuntary perception of demographical focus wouldn’t be involved. Crap.

      Without reiterating my point I will clearly state that my above monologue was NOT “Kids These Days” rubbish. Read it again.

      Aug 19, 2010 at 2:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #24.9   anglophile bang

      *worries a bit that she might be a member of the demographic so disparagingly dismissed as fixated on her own defecated entitlement*

      *worries a bit that she doesn’t know enough big words to understand the point*

      *remembers that there’s assholes in every generation and figures that must be the point Generation Bexx must be desperately trying to make, by example*

      Aug 19, 2010 at 2:43 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #24.10   Canthz_B bang

      Sorry, Bexx, but as my post was written as a response to strudel, for some reason I wrote what would be relevant to strudel.
      Whether or not it would be relevant to you, or anyone else for that matter, seemed irrelevant at the time.
      I didn’t know you felt entitled to a response from me which would have universal relevance.

      Aug 21, 2010 at 5:33 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #25   Generation Bexx


    I’m not upset, or even moved by your comments, but it is possible that they were unnecessarily harsh. I’m ‘worried’ about that.

    The expanse of one’s vocabulary, while possibly suggesting an equally expansive range of thought – is also not necessary. And while I have access to an impressive vernacular, and not just a thesaurus like you might sumise…. it neither prevents nor ensures my understanding. That little thing happens all by itself… without big words like “marmalade”.

    My intention in that larger comment was to talk about how it’s so common to see now, people such as the poster of this panote, exploiting something/someone so effortlessly and without pause… for their own ease in transaction, upper hand in a situation… We’re so comfortable with this form of entitlement – that we are entitled to exploit, or put to use (more euphemistic approach) these things that society prioritizes… like the girl who fakes her cancer for her own gains of pity, money, fame… etc.

    i was fusing that above thought (albeit in a smaller sentence) with the concept that the transition into this exploiting nature (to generalize) has become more apparent through the actions and dialogue of the last few generations.

    I hope that THIS comment will be acknowledged for the benevolence and relevance that it was intended and for christ’s sake – i really did like the “novelesque health care BS” that was written above. Good stuff, congratulations, really. Fuck.

    Aug 23, 2010 at 7:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   oi bang

      Yeah, yeah. Same old same old, whine about how mankind is getting worse and worse every minute. What shall we do? Everywhere you look its plundering, spoiling and massacre. We will all die and destroy earth and universe in process. What s decline of a mankind from….. stone age, right?
      Irony is that it never gets old. pretty sure after another millennium there will be someone saying this exact shit as somebody did in the last millennium, crying over the day that has gone by. If you look hard enough you will find the stories in all the cultures showing how it was the absolute decline of the mankind and eventually one or another messiah came and restructured the society. only to start the gradual fall all over again. What are the odds that it will ever happen again? I mean it’s not like history is full of incidents where man made a mistake and learned from it and then made a totally different one and again… oh wait!

      Laugh or cry, Laugh or cry, Fuck it. Imma have a drink rather.

      Aug 23, 2010 at 7:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #25.2   anglophile bang

      Um, do you really think this is a new thing, or is it slightly possible that as you yourself have gotten older and more experienced you have noticed it more? How many generations have you personally observed in your lifetime? Chances are when you were 8 years old you didn’t notice the bitch in your mom’s card club who always got the neighborhood husbands to fix her garage door for her, or the creep in your dad’s office sucking up to the boss. People, in general are opportunistic assholes. Always have been, always will be. You just got your eyes opened, that’s all.

      Sorry I couldn’t put more four-syllable words in this post. I’m the product of public education.


      Aug 23, 2010 at 8:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #25.3   much to my chagrin

      “Gigglebrax” is a word you might want to add to your impressive vernacular, Bexx.

      Aug 23, 2010 at 8:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #25.4   Canthz_B bang

      I’m just happy to know that getting our heath care bills paid by insurance professionals (or our governments) is BS.

      I say make the doctors work for free. There’s an incentive to become a doctor there, I just can’t find it right now.

      Also sad that I cannot articulate that message in a more arcane manner.

      Aug 26, 2010 at 9:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #26   Those special "charity pens"? They were nicked from the office supply closet. |

    [...] Nat’s opinion, however, her guilt-heavy fundraising techniques might benefit from a little fine-tuning…especially given that all seven of those special [...]

    Aug 31, 2010 at 6:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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