Facebook: enabling your Mom to embarrass you in new and increasingly far-reaching ways!

August 16th, 2010 · 61 comments

Writes Natalie in Pennsylvania: “My mother (who is unfortunately on Facebook) noticed that some of my extended family had wished my twin sister happy birthday but not me.”

Although Natalie herself couldn’t care less, her mother — “a master of both e-mail networking and Jewish guilt”—  took it upon herself to write this e-mail and send it out everyone in the entire family. “And I mean EVERYONE,” Natalie says — “my cousins in Mexico got it!” [Face palm]

(If you can’t decipher the hideous font, mouse over the image for a translation.)

Dear Ones, It has come to my attention that a matter of sibling unfairness has arisen. Please do not think for a moment that I consider this to be an intentional slight by any of you. But matters that by some (or one) perceived as wronged must be put right by us all. Therefore gentle relatives you must mind your manners and know that birthday greetings to one twin on her face book page must be matched by the same greeting to the other on hers. She who hears nothing from her dear ones on the day of her rejoicing must think herself unloved and surely that is not the relative intention. Yours truly, Your Aunt, Sister and Mother

(What would Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield do? Find out in Sweet Valley High #144: Relative Intentions!)

related: Yet another reason why you shouldn’t be friends with your parents on Facebook

FILED UNDER: birthday · e-mail · etiquette · Facebook · family · guilt trip · Moms & Dads · siblings


61 responses so far ↓

  • #1   withing

    Makes me glad that neither my mother nor my twin is on facebook

    Aug 16, 2010 at 9:50 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Russ

      k, see, this is why ;)

      Aug 16, 2010 at 10:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   AuntyBron

      Kinda makes me glad I’m not a twin.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 11:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Smitten

      My mother is on facebook and calls me at least once a week AT WORK to ask why this, who that, when this, where that – it’s infuriating!

      My mother-in-LAW is on facebook as well but has enough brains NOT to friend-request me because she would be denied so fast, she wouldn’t know what hit her!

      Aug 17, 2010 at 7:37 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   eden

      Your mom loves you and you should be grateful. Some day you will have kids and she will be dead and you will feel like crap.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 8:19 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   FeRD bang

      Hmmm… actually: nope, check, and always have!

      Aug 17, 2010 at 10:33 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   langostino

    I must be a loser, because I find this perfectly appropriate. I guess if the person in question is a tween or early teenager, there might be some minor embarrassment, but children that age need to be embarrassed so they can learn to get over themselves.

    I heartily approve of this email (except for the font).

    Aug 16, 2010 at 10:01 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Sean Jungian

      Boy, you sure did call that one, because Mommykins could have easily just sent the e-mail to the offender, not the entire family.

      Personally, I think it was overkill. Just more mom bullying. STOP JEWISH-MOTHER GANGS!

      And by “you…call[ed] that one” I am referring to your claim that you must be a loser. See, because I disagree with you.

      Aug 16, 2010 at 11:51 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   The voice of... James Mason

      “Jewish mother gangs”- haha!! Totally called to mind this priceless gem from Monty Python:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFiN7Zsz2zM

      Aug 17, 2010 at 1:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Meg

      Mother’s always embarrass their kids. But, their mother probably thought she was sticking up for her children.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 3:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   fuzzybeard2016

      “JEWISH-MOTHER GANGS?” There’s a better name for that:

      Hadassah. :)

      /♫I’m a Blue-Collar Jew, and I’m as rare as I wanna be!♫

      Aug 17, 2010 at 9:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Stellamaris

      “I guess if the person in question is a tween or early teenager, there might be some minor embarrassment”
      No, see-it’s not just that teen-ish “Moomm, you’re embarrassing me!” whenever she dotes on you/lavishes praise, etc.
      This is embarassing because it could appear as if this note was written after Natalie went crying to her mommy about how unloved she felt, when that was not the case(apparently the disparity in birthday wishes didn’t bother her..maybe because she doesn’t have all the same relatives as FB friends, or isn’t as close with them, being that she’s not an exact duplicate of her twin and all!)

      Sep 1, 2010 at 12:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   pylgrim

    “Also, for the ones that greeted them both: Some greetings were shorter in lenght than the one given to the other twin, in such a way that one of them has got in average one and half less characters than the other. Please make sure in the future not to accidentally commit this egregious injustice again.”

    Aug 16, 2010 at 10:24 pm   rating: 57  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Tammy

      I had to erase my mom from my friend list….

      Aug 16, 2010 at 10:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Nack

    I’m all for saying, “Guys, they’re twins, k? Don’t be rude.”

    But the insipid way it’s being presented… “Dear Ones” and …”Gentle Relations”…wow. That reeks of insanity yet to come.

    For your own sake, Gentle Relations, please greet the twins the same way! I see hatchets, horse heads, and almond-flavored tea in your futures if you neglect this select endeavor of interest to your Sister, Aunt, or Mother.

    Aug 16, 2010 at 11:47 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   ammali

      Oh, I know right? Plus, I couldn’t help but think it’d be less sincere for *both* of them if there was basically a copy-pasted greeting on each page.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 6:54 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Splint Chesthair

      I don’t eve think it’s necessary to point it out. It’s not like twins know all the same people or are even liked by the same family members. The mother is making the mistake of thinking the twins are the same in EVERY way. Believe me, I’ve dated a girl who was a twin and you don’t ever want to make that assumption.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 7:39 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Sean Jungian

      Funny, I thought the next part of the line “I’ve dated a girl who was a twin” would be “and sexy hijinx ensued”.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 9:35 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   anglophile bang

      “Dear Penthouse, I know you’re not going to believe me, but this really happened. I dated a girl who was a twin and….”

      Aug 17, 2010 at 10:28 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Stewie

      I guess it’s time for a sexy party!

      Aug 17, 2010 at 3:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      “Twins Basil…”

      Sep 13, 2010 at 5:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Jonathan

    I prefer my relations a bit… rougher than that.

    Aug 17, 2010 at 12:16 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   JetJackson

    Your aunt, sister AND mother?

    The only way I can see that is feasible is if your father marries his sister and gives birth to you and your brother. Your mother is then also your Aunt. Your mother/aunt then leaves your father and marries your brother (her second son) and becomes your Mother/Aunt/Sister-in-law. So technically not a pure sister.

    Aug 17, 2010 at 12:30 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Sean Jungian

      Forget it, JetJackson. Its Chinatown.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 12:39 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Smitten

      IF your.. FATHER gives birth to you and your brother?
      I wanna see THAT!

      Aug 17, 2010 at 7:39 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   oi

      I did not even try to figure out that, I think calculus is way easier than relationships. English speakers got this easy. Anybody other than mom and dad is aunts and uncles. We have different words for aunts and uncles depending upon it’s from your father’s side or mother’s side. Same with laws, any relations from the spouses are simply in laws, we have different words for identifying each and every one of the laws. One word and you would exactly know it’s sister’s husband or husband’s brother and who is he related to by blood, husband or wife. oh and if he/she is from husband’s side, you also can tell if the he/she is older or younger than the husband! See, reason behind this is, why cut into in laws bashing time by explaining every time who exactly he/she is, you know, just have separate word for everybody and you can just dive into bashing, right at the first sentence!
      English language is just lazy.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 1:01 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   Smitten

      OI, where are you from? That’s the exact same thing where I am from, originally, too!

      Aug 17, 2010 at 3:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   oi bang

      sMITTEN I am from India. What about you?

      Aug 17, 2010 at 5:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   JetJackson

      Oh damn. My bad. I guess my brain was a bit fried after trying to work out how the Aunt/Mother/Sister relationship could be possible.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 6:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   Smitten

      oi, I am from Former Yogslavia!

      Aug 18, 2010 at 10:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    Yeah, because disingenuous, cookie-cutter birthday wishes are greatly appreciated by one and all.

    “This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post don’t know anything more about real birthdays than they do about fornicating.”

    –parody of speech from Patton, the film

    Aug 17, 2010 at 12:58 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   pony girl

    Her mother reads way too much Miss Manners.
    Or she is Miss Manners, judging by the Dear ones and Gentle relations.

    Aug 17, 2010 at 1:58 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   bowloftoast bang

      My gentle relations usually have happier endings.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 2:09 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   pony girl

      @bowloftoast,

      Isn’t that illegal?

      Aug 17, 2010 at 2:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Canthz_B bang

      I have nothing against Dear Ones, but I prefer Dear Fifties!
      I like to call them “Grant money”! :-P

      Aug 17, 2010 at 3:02 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   infant tyrone bang

      PG,
      Just a hunch, but I think BOT is referring generally to process outcomes and not to any specific geographic input ports or entry loci.

      But I could have it backwards…what do I know…I’m all over the map.
      Peninsula…coincidence ?

      Aug 17, 2010 at 12:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   turdbasket

    “aunt, sister and mother”

    … kentucky?

    Aug 17, 2010 at 2:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Patti

    Mother maybe ignoring the obvious, maybe the other twin is really not liked as much as the “loved twin”

    Aug 17, 2010 at 6:26 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   anglophile bang

    I shudder to think of how long this mother tried to force her twins to dress alike.

    Aug 17, 2010 at 7:50 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   park rose bang

    Well, is it special intention, or general intention? When talking relatives, it pays to be specific.

    Aug 17, 2010 at 7:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   eslinger bang

      When talking relatives, it’s cruel intentions.

      Aug 18, 2010 at 8:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Allie

    Wow. I’m imagining my mother doing something like this (she never would!) and I’m embarrassed for this girl. Though, really, what the hell were the family members thinking in just messaging one twin?

    Aug 17, 2010 at 8:28 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   whome?

      maybe they were thinking the other twin is an asshole.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 10:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Elmo

    Manners Mom has done a passable imitation of the style used by Judith (Miss Manners) Martin but, unlike the real thing, her message lacks Miss Manners’ ability to convey disapproval using only the most approving terms.

    Aug 17, 2010 at 8:34 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   katiewatie

    I feel embarrassed for Natalie at all the belated birthday messages she must have received AFTER this note was sent, knowing they only sent the greetings because they were scolded into it by her mother. What a way to ruin her birthday :(

    Aug 17, 2010 at 8:58 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Kimmypie

      Hey, Less-Liked Twin ~
      Your crazy mother bitched because I didn’t tell you happy birthday and did tell your twin.
      So, happy birthday. Now, please tell your mom to fuck off!
      Love,
      Your cousin who doesn’t really like you

      Aug 17, 2010 at 3:15 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Pterosaur

    “She who hears nothing from her dear ones on the day of her rejoicing must think herself unloved.” WTF?

    This note is so sanctimonious it reads like a biblical prophecy. The day of her rejoicing? Really?

    “And the wrath of the heavens shall smite those that bestow inequitable blessings upon the glorious twin-born! Repent!”

    Aug 17, 2010 at 11:09 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   infant tyrone bang

      And YOU have meddled with the primal forces of nature, Mr. Beale…
      And YOU WILL ATONE !

      Ned Beatty as Arthur Jensen in Network

      Aug 17, 2010 at 12:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   MAMARILLA2 bang

      The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
      Oh by the way, happy birthday.

      Sep 13, 2010 at 5:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   claw71 bang

    Traslation:

    Mom loves Natalie more. Natalie is the goody-goody who always followed the rules and minded her mother. Natalie’s sister is the lusty harlot who dropped out of college to go on tour with Slipknot, dabbled in porn and now runs a tattoo parlor in Winnemucca.

    Naturally this makes her more popular on facebook, a fact which never ceases to infuriate mom.

    Aug 17, 2010 at 11:34 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   infant tyrone bang

      Natalie should kick off her too-goody shoes, road trip it to Winnemucca, and commission Sis to ink her up with a gaudy-awful boob butterfly.

      A small step in the right direction, sure, but at least she’s giving tit for tat.

      Aug 17, 2010 at 11:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   RP

    What if the OP and her twin aren’t even FB friends with all the same relatives?

    I know my oldest sister is FB friends with more of my extended family than I am.

    Aug 17, 2010 at 1:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Talon

      I can say a similar thing, although with me, it’s my younger sister. I just don’t use FB much, while my sis lives on it. I thank all that’s holy and unholy that mom’s never gotten a FB, even though she’s pretty internet savvy otherwise.

      Aug 18, 2010 at 12:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Nyero6

    Hi I feel like creating this topic so.. hi :)

    Aug 17, 2010 at 4:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Mark bang

      Hi I feel like kicking you in the nads/taco so… F U! :x

      Aug 17, 2010 at 4:36 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   ErinPatricia

    Sweet Valley refrence FTW!!!

    Aug 17, 2010 at 8:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   April

    While I would not pull the whole passive aggresive note thing I do have to say it is a bit of a dick move to only wish one twin Happy Birthday if both of them are on facebook and your friends list and you are close to both of them.

    Aug 18, 2010 at 2:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Gina

    sounds like my mother wrote this. ha

    Aug 18, 2010 at 4:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   jane doe

    I am a twin, and I friggin’ DIG that note !

    Sep 11, 2010 at 10:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   amber

    what do you guys think of this, i am getting friend requests on facebook from my grandmas sisters kids and all kinds of cousins that i have not seen since i was 5, not to be rude, but these are some less than desireable people and i have all of my husbands family as friends, and i dont think the 2 familys would mesh well as far as using language and posting links to rap music as such things, at first i just ignored it but my weirdo cousin who i saw at my little sis graduation a few months ago but before that probably have not seen this druggie in like15 years…so i ignore his request and he sends another so i ignor it , then he send me a letter saying this is brian your cousin accept my friend request…so i was like god whatever and i did now all of the other ones are requesting again. i have like 20 friends and they are family in law, mom, grandparents and close friends…is it rude of me to ignore them and erase my cousin….i am really not snobby or anything even tho it may sound like it.

    Sep 13, 2010 at 4:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      When my husband joined my facebook friends, I was receiving requests from members of his side of the family that I only had a passing knowledge of..I chose to ignore these requests. I don’t really know these people. The same applies to all the friends of my children. Unless we are friends for real or with a good reason, I can do without. So no , you are not snobby.

      Sep 13, 2010 at 5:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     

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