Could you spare a tissue for the lady?

August 18th, 2010 · 58 comments

When Sal spotted this notice at an athletic clothing store in San Diego, he says that while he couldn’t quite picture how a tissue would get the job done in this situation — not to mention how this policy came to be —  “I figured it was best not to ask questions.”

Ladies...if you happen to have forgotten your undies, please ask us for a tissue. We would appreciate it if you didn't try on our apparel commando!

Meanwhile, when I first read this sign — from a club in Vancouver — my first thought was, “Well, that seems like a reasonable enough request.” Our submitter, Cherisse, begs to differ. “Sadly, there is no bathroom backstage,” she explains, ” wnd when a girl’s gotta go, sometimes the other end of the club is a long ways a way.” She adds: “If it wasn’t for the used paper towels being left outside, no one ever would have known.”

ATTENTION LADIES ANYONE CAUGHT PEEING OUT THE BACKDOOR WILL BE TERMINATED IMMEDIATELY

So… like Sal, I’m gonna say it’s probably best not to ask too many questions about this one.

related: “Who leaves their panties in the bathroom at work?  Who does that?”

FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · bold-underlined-caps · hygiene · piss · retail hell · San Diego · Vancouver · WTF?


58 responses so far ↓

  • #1   oi bang

    bwahahahaha! oh man!

    Aug 18, 2010 at 11:28 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Shishka

      I know…Right! :lol:

      Aug 19, 2010 at 2:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Zola

    lol The first one is for a lady to place the tissue between the clothing and her genitals, this way making sure no bodily fluids came in direct contact with the clothing, making them unsanitary and unable to sell them.

    Aug 18, 2010 at 11:30 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Wendy

      Yeah, I was thinking “duh, who doesn’t know that?”.
      I guess a lot of people don’t. Which suddenly makes me very squeamish about trying on clothes.

      Aug 18, 2010 at 11:59 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Canthz_B bang

      On a lighter note, the slacks on the skid-mark rack are 40% off!

      That’s what Brown can do for you!!

      Aug 19, 2010 at 12:32 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Jesse

      Yeah who doesn’t know that? (And who couldn’t FIGURE IT OUT, even if they had never done it? It’s not rocket science…)

      Aug 19, 2010 at 12:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Sirius¤ bang

      Do you use a ‘Tweenex?

      Aug 19, 2010 at 6:21 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   infant tyrone bang

      Note #1
      Doesn’t commando indicat the absence of something, not the presence ?

      Note #2
      Aw, scat…if note #2 had been about “#2″, I could have posted a YT link to the scurrilous parody of a CCR classic, Dookin’ Out My Back Door.

      Aug 19, 2010 at 6:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Mark bang

      Is that anything like the other CCR classic, “There’s a Bathroom On the Right”?

      Aug 19, 2010 at 6:29 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   infant tyrone bang

      Isn’t that the one with the lyric Hope you have got your shit together ?

      Aug 19, 2010 at 8:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   FeRD bang

      ‘Scuse me, while I thumb these high.

      Aug 19, 2010 at 11:51 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   infant tyrone bang

      Could you spare a freak flag for the lady ?

      Aug 20, 2010 at 12:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   Janellionaire

      “unsanitary and unable to sell them,” huh? Apparently you missed the multiple reports and videos exposing the practice of retagging and reselling used returned undies. Victoria’s Secret does it. In fact, one employee said that if the garment came back with a funky smell, they would hang it in the back for a day to let it air out before putting it back out with the other merchandise.

      Aug 20, 2010 at 1:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   eslinger bang

      Oh my gosh, they do?! That’s disgusting! Thanks for the info, Janellionaire!

      Aug 20, 2010 at 3:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.12   cpkc

      They resell returns to Gabriel Bros. that can be SOLD. Yeah it’s done by discretion, anything I didn’t want to touch I threw away. Then it’s all noted in triplicate.

      That being said there are many gross people, the majority of VS offenders being woman. For some the .99 return value is more desirable than dignity.

      Aug 20, 2010 at 2:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.13   RandyinReno

      Some men pay extra for the used ones…

      Aug 21, 2010 at 8:29 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   AuntyBron

    Sanitary, Schmanitary. The important thing is does it make my butt look high and tight?

    Aug 18, 2010 at 11:55 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Canthz_B bang

      When I get high and/or get tight every woman’s butt looks great! ;-)

      Unfortunately, I tend to black-out when I do that, so I don’t remember exactly what brought on that sexual assault charge. :???:

      Aug 19, 2010 at 12:05 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      Wait, CB, I thought you were always blacked out… Yeah, I went there. I had to.

      Aug 19, 2010 at 7:58 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Canthz_B bang

      :lol: WotV

      Aug 19, 2010 at 8:51 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    Now, there’s a business opportunity!
    You know how shoe stores have those little nylon(?) booties you can use to try on shoes?
    Something similar could be done for boutiques to accommodate their commando clientele…because I don’t think a Kleenex is gonna do the trick.

    Aug 19, 2010 at 12:04 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Mel K

      YES! Please run with this idea.
      In Japan shops give you a bag (same soft material as some types of hairnets) to cover your head so as to not get make up on clothes when you try them on. I tend to save mine.

      I would love a pair of matching undies. It would make valentine’s day or my anniversary even more special

      Aug 19, 2010 at 1:07 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Canthz_B bang

      Yes. The “Pantie Dispenser” is a machine whose time has come.

      Wherever there’s a ladies restroom, they’ll be there.
      Wherever there’s a ladies fitting room, they’ll be there.
      Wherever there’s a Pantie Dispenser, Peeping Tom Joad will be there, sour grapes and all!

      Aug 19, 2010 at 1:26 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   clumber

      @4.1 Mel K…. am I to understand that in Japan the clothing shops give you a bag to put over your head?

      I have some snide remarks… but I suspect you could beat me up.

      Aug 19, 2010 at 7:58 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      Mel, why do I picture a scary horror film or porn when you say that they give you a bag to put over your head?

      Aug 19, 2010 at 7:59 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Mel K

      They do, some women wear a lot of make-up and shop- even uniqlo- don’t want it ruining their clothes. The bag is really see-through like the kind you sometimes get to protect a leather handbag.

      Aug 19, 2010 at 1:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      God, I love the word “booties.” That and “mittens.” Great words.

      Aug 20, 2010 at 3:24 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   Eatthepeach

      Really; a kleenex? That’s going to give too much room for manoeuvre.

      Oct 8, 2010 at 4:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    Anyone peeing out their back door has probably already been diagnosed with a terminal illness.

    Aug 19, 2010 at 12:07 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    Cherisse needs to have her nose head examined.

    Aug 19, 2010 at 12:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   wright1

    So would peeing ON the back door be okay, then?

    But seriously, how far can it be from backstage to the far end of the club? Just clamp down and make a run for it!

    Just remember: God weeds out the weak.

    Aug 19, 2010 at 12:50 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Canthz_B bang

      God used to weed out the weak, but there’s a pill for that now.
      The folks on the TV commercial for the drug can go antiquing and to baseball games without pissing themselves.
      Oh, how they seem to be enjoying their Golden Years!

      I say it’s a miracle, but some claim it’s science.

      The Amen vs. Ah, Man battle continues.

      Aug 19, 2010 at 1:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      Some say it’s a miracle, some say it’s science, I say it’s Depends.

      Aug 19, 2010 at 8:00 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Lauri

    If it’s as crowded as some clubs I’ve been in, it can take 20 minutes to wade through the crowd to get to the other side. If you’re lucky, you can draft behind an aggressive big guy. Not sure if I could pee out a door, though…

    Aug 19, 2010 at 1:12 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Mel K

    The second note really annoys me; more of a double-standard than passive aggressive.

    I am sure that guys have been pissing out behind the club for years without management posting a note.

    Aug 19, 2010 at 1:17 am   rating: 48  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Splint Chesthair

      Didn’t you read? It’s the used paper towels laying on the ground that were the giveaway. No guys use paper towels after peeing, that’s what underwear is for.

      Plus I love watching women pee outside, not in a deviant sexual manner, but more of a physics demonstration sort of thing. Some use that weird crab walk stance, some are good squatters but it always ends up with me being thankful for the tremendous ease in which I pee.

      Aug 19, 2010 at 9:05 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Jonathan

      See, ladies? Just one more reason to get rid of the crotch mop.

      Aug 19, 2010 at 10:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   eslinger bang

      “Crotch mop.” That is one term I hadn’t heard of before now. Thanks, Jonathan.

      Aug 20, 2010 at 3:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   eslinger bang

      Also, thank you, Terry!

      Aug 20, 2010 at 3:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   SixofHearts

      Well, it sounds like a strip club, so besides the manager and possibly the bouncers, not many men are going to be allowed backstage anyway.

      Aug 20, 2010 at 6:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   H for Toy bang

    Forgotten? Do you think someone actually just “forgot” to put underwear before they left the house?

    Edit: Wait. What am I talking about? I’m the one who left the house with no shirt on not too long ago. Yeah, maybe they did just forget.

    Aug 19, 2010 at 8:05 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   FeRD bang

      Yeah… and, honestly, if you’re out and about but aren’t wearing any underwear, you don’t need to be shopping for more clothes. In fact, the only errand you need to focus on is: go buy some damn underwear!

      Aug 19, 2010 at 11:59 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   much to my chagrin

    Hey, if I could pee out the backdoor I’d quit my job anyway and get rich selling interesting movies.

    Aug 19, 2010 at 10:06 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Jonathan

    Those cooter flavored leotards were fucking delicious.

    Aug 19, 2010 at 11:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   I'm Rick James Bitch

    Wait, the restroom is just too far away to use?!

    If the submitter thinks peeing out the backdoor is cool I have a suggestion for the owners of the property – put up a security camera back there and stream it live online.

    Aug 19, 2010 at 12:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Other Julie

      This gives whole new meaning to the phrase “stream it”.

      Aug 19, 2010 at 1:25 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Shishka

      Low angle perspective with a wide angle lens. Next to the Hoff it will be a huge hit in Germany!

      Aug 19, 2010 at 2:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Cris

    Well some ‘ladies’ would need a tissue. Other would need a full page from the New York Times, ha!

    Aug 19, 2010 at 1:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   eslinger bang

    I don’t have a square to spare.

    Aug 19, 2010 at 1:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   aaa bang

    I didn’t forget my undies…

    Aug 19, 2010 at 3:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Mo®

      Heeelllloooo Ladies! :razz:

      Aug 19, 2010 at 3:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Canthz_B bang

    I have a new-found respect for the homeless.
    I never knew that a cardboard box in a back alley was a room with a view.

    Aug 19, 2010 at 11:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Janellionaire

    Oh, come on, let the ladies pee outside. Who really DOESN’T want to see that?

    Aug 20, 2010 at 1:13 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   the lumberjack

      Oh, a lot of people want to see it. They just don’t want the ladies charging customers for views of it OUTSIDE of the club. It doesn’t make the strip club look too classy, unlike the leopard print carpet and 5-star buffet.

      Aug 20, 2010 at 12:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Notyou

    I’m just curious what kind of club this is where girls are on stage. ;-}

    Aug 20, 2010 at 5:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Madrias

    As for the second, isn’t death a tad extreme for peeing out the back door?

    Aug 22, 2010 at 1:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   DensityDuck

    There’s a local game store which has an active RPG community, “active” to the point of “skips bathing and sleeping to stay at the RPG store until four AM”.

    The store proper closes at ten PM, but they allow these gamers to stay in the garage/stockroom (their addiction is a major income source for the store.) However, the toilets are inside the store, so the gamers are forced to “make do”, which means “go piss in the alley”. (If you’re wondering “what do the girls do”, then don’t worry–there are no girls.)

    This is permitted, even though it makes the alley stink, because at first they would piss into empty soda cups and water bottles and throw those into the store trash.

    Aug 23, 2010 at 11:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   srudolph

    Pissing out the back door would take great aim and projection though. Those ladies should be applauded and encouraged!

    Aug 25, 2010 at 8:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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