Who steals pens from disabled children???

August 31st, 2010 · 42 comments

At Nat’s office in York, England, one of his coworkers has been trying to bully everyone into coughing up some cash for an (admittedly worthy) charitable cause.

In Nat’s opinion, however, her guilt-heavy fund-raising techniques might benefit from a little fine-tuning…especially given that all seven of those special “charity pens” were nicked from the office supply closet.

Seriously people, who keeps stealing pens (7 of them!) from a disabled=

related: Starve on!

FILED UNDER: "accidental" "borrowing" · a matter of taste · bar · confusion??? · guilt trip · Miami · MYOB · not wrong · office · office supplies · rebuttals · U.K.


42 responses so far ↓

  • #1   castlejen

    Those pens were tasty!

    Aug 31, 2010 at 6:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Fridge Pirate

      Those pens were fucking delicious.

      Aug 31, 2010 at 6:54 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   lisa

    Who throws a shoe?!

    Aug 31, 2010 at 7:04 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   jadefirefly

      Honestly!

      Aug 31, 2010 at 11:59 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Meesh

      Ya missed me, bitch!

      Sep 1, 2010 at 7:26 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Canthz_B bang

      Horses throw shoes.
      So do anti-Dubya Bush people. ;-)

      Sep 1, 2010 at 9:01 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Kimmpie

      Apparently Eddie Murphy’s mother threw shoes too…

      Sep 3, 2010 at 9:00 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   zenvelo

    you SHOULD have known ‘cuz they’re BIC pens- British Infirm Children! It’s not like they needed extra marking or anything…

    Aug 31, 2010 at 7:10 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   shwonline bang

    Be grateful the offender didn’t use one of those stolen pens to insert an “i” in the word “pens” in your note.

    Aug 31, 2010 at 7:20 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Chuk

      iPens? I don’t get it.

      Aug 31, 2010 at 8:52 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Canthz_B bang

      Do those iPens have a spell-check app?

      Sep 1, 2010 at 12:20 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Even if they have the spell check, do you think that these folk would use it?

      Sep 1, 2010 at 12:27 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   infant tyrone bang

      Men are often reluctant to ask directions,
      but almost always happy to use their iPens

      Sep 1, 2010 at 9:23 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   infant tyrone bang

      Paperwork submitted to enter an Apprentice Witch program in Prague…
      Would that be a Spell-Czech App ?

      Sep 1, 2010 at 9:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Nack

    If it’s for a charity, and you are concerned about where they go and how, then why aren’t they locked in your desk?

    Aug 31, 2010 at 7:37 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   park rose bang

      The charity cases are always the hardest to crack. She hired a low-rent gumshoe*. He had them under surveillance, but still they managed to give everyone the slip. Which is how she, the dick, and everyone else ended up as beneficiaries of their own cause. Except they weren’t children, so they had to just skim a little off the coffers and sort themselves out some other way.

      Who would have thought that pens were so sly and nasty that they would plant banana skins and petticoats on every alternate step of the stairwell? It just goes to show that it pays to be conservative, sisters and brothers.

      Or maybe it was those Seriously People wot planted them. They have no respect for anyone, I tell ya’. NO respect at ALL! Fruit-loops.

      Henceforth and forthwith, I think I have cleared everything up. Harumph. If you ever want to see your way clear to obfuscation, just give me a call. I’ll spin you three times, clockwise and anti-clockwise, and you just might end up where you left off.
      Carry on.
      Buy my pens.
      I need you to buy my pens.

      Or sponsor me at least, so that I can buy them, and then paint pictures using my mouth, because I slipped on a banana peel while wearing a slip, and lost use of all other limbs. Not that a mouth is a limb, but I won’t get into that just now.

      *This is in solemn recognition of the shoe comments above, and all they have done for the comment page, which I do not understand one whit (of).

      It would be nice to be whitty, whouldn’t it? I whonder where Mishee has whandered to. She’d've told me to shut it by now. And so . . .

      Sep 1, 2010 at 6:41 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   infant tyrone bang

      Do bong bubbles really spin counterclockwisely Down Yonder ?

      Sep 1, 2010 at 10:03 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   park rose bang

      I don’t know, Honey-bun. But the moon hangs in the sky the way it’s meant to.

      Sep 2, 2010 at 6:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   m

    yeah, I’d have to told that person where to bite me

    Aug 31, 2010 at 7:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Will you tell them how to bite you as well?

      Sep 1, 2010 at 12:15 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   infant tyrone bang

      Nibble nicely on the nib of his iPen & he’ll bite you anyway you tell him.

      Sep 1, 2010 at 9:39 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Quite Contrary

    I see the future. Paris Hilton will insist the coke/marijuana/whatever illegal drug was in her purse was an accident during her 7th arrest.

    Aug 31, 2010 at 8:48 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Kay

    It’s a vicious cycle:
    1. Resources for disabled children are underfunded because Low Lifes (who should be ashamed of themselves) steal pens from sponsorship initiatives.
    2. Then what happens? Said children grow up to become pen thieves!
    3. Thereby making it too inconvenient to sponsor do-gooders! (see step 1)

    Aug 31, 2010 at 10:16 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   TippingCows

    7 accidents for 7 children on the 7th day of the 7th month in the 7th hour and the perp is the 7th son of a 7th son – dios mio!

    Call the police pronto.

    Aug 31, 2010 at 11:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   AuntyBron

      Police? Hell, Tippy – call the Lotto. All them 7s are a sign!

      Aug 31, 2010 at 11:48 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   park rose bang

      Seven scribes for seven scrubbers?

      Sep 1, 2010 at 2:33 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Canthz_B bang

      Nice one, rose…I’m in 7th heaven!

      Sep 1, 2010 at 8:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   infant tyrone bang

      Sorry, the police all called in with the Blue Flu…
      They’re off attending a Johnny Rivers concert.

      Sep 1, 2010 at 9:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   The Elf

    Are there no pencils? Are there no magic markers?

    Sep 1, 2010 at 8:03 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Mo®

      Verily I say unto you brother. If your charity pen is lost, turn the other cheek and offer up your sharpie.

      Sep 2, 2010 at 8:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    Are 7 accidents the same as 7 emergencies?

    Wait, tell me later…I have to go pee…

    Sep 1, 2010 at 8:54 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Woman on the Verge bang

    Those disabled children needed the pens so they could fashion them into crutches in the workhouse. They are very small children.

    Sep 1, 2010 at 10:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Woman on the Verge bang

    Maybe they needed the pens to write checks for donations to that disabled childrens’ fund! What about that?!

    Sep 1, 2010 at 11:47 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Monkeygirl

    Hmmmmm. . .

    7 pens went missing, and yet only 4 individuals used said pens to sign up. . .

    Sep 1, 2010 at 12:51 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   GhostWriter bang

    Wasn’t it really just one pen (with seven different colored ink options)?

    Sep 1, 2010 at 3:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   aaa bang

    I think I’d find her spamming far less annoying if she’d at least write a decent, well thought out comment.

    Sep 1, 2010 at 4:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   aaa bang

    I hate children. Those grubby little bastards don’t deserve to have pens.

    Sep 1, 2010 at 4:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Citric

    I stole pens from the elderly once. It was unintentional, but awesome.

    Sep 1, 2010 at 11:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   WelcomeSinners

    The police should visit here http://preview.tinyurl.com/2vtr4ts to find the stash of disabled kiddies’ pens. The last person to use the pens is the obvious culprit.

    Sep 3, 2010 at 3:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   eslinger bang

    Won’t somebody please think of the children?

    Sep 6, 2010 at 6:40 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   bored @ work

    Based on the attitude, the writer should probably invest in a ‘Cross’ pen. It would suit her mood.

    Sep 13, 2010 at 8:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Roxy

    Stealing pens from charities isn’t cool… maybe that charity should install pen chains.

    Nov 4, 2010 at 10:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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