Edie in Bellevue, Washington wasn’t too happy with the neighbor’s cat using her lawn as its personal toilet, so she finally asked the cat’s owner if she’d please clean it up. “She did,” Edie says, “but only after explaining that the cat poops on everyone’s lawn and no one else minds.” (After asking around the neighborhood, Edie found this to be only half-true.)
Little did they know that cat’s crap was practically worth its weight in friggin’ GOLD!!! One can only imagine the reactions of Edie and her similarly ungrateful neighbors when they finished reading the photocopied letter taped to their front doors. (First place? For three years running?? What fools we’ve all been!!!)
related: Don’t feed the cat (or the trolls)
extra credit: The Radiolab episode about Toxoplasma and crazy cat ladies
163 responses so far ↓
#1
aaa
Soooo, is “white kitty” the cat’s name? Or does the Bestower of Cat Shit just refer to him as white kitty out of deference because it would be too disrespectful refer to this cat (obviously crafted from God’s own hair and vomit) by its given name?
Sep 2, 2010 at 7:10 pm rating: 52
#2
Durp
Sooooo….. the cat got first place at being average?
Sep 2, 2010 at 7:11 pm rating: 67
#3
Sarah
So it is a trade off then? Cat poo for rats.
Sep 2, 2010 at 7:12 pm rating: 9
#4
dbm
I have owned several Maine Coons. They’re not white.
Sep 2, 2010 at 7:16 pm rating: 43
#5
Heidi
“White Kitty” is an alias. Either that or he’s in the wrong hood.
Sep 2, 2010 at 7:16 pm rating: 25
#6
marpolejoel
You always were a youthquaker, Edie…kitty poo is such sweet sorrow…
Sep 2, 2010 at 7:39 pm rating: 3
#7
Will
Oh yeah, so “white kitty” keeps all the rats and moles out of the neighborhood so it’s all nice for the yuppies. It’s urban gentrification, feline style!
Sep 2, 2010 at 7:39 pm rating: 17
#8
Silver
Cats crap all over the place… as long as it’s nowhere obvious and I can’t smell it, I couldn’t care less. But White Cat apparently poops in the middle of the lawn.
Sep 2, 2010 at 7:40 pm rating: 8
#9
Kristin
I’ve had Maine coons, they’re giant. That’s some big poop.
Sep 2, 2010 at 7:43 pm rating: 13
#10
Madrias
As long as the cat doesn’t dump on my sidewalk, or where I step, I don’t care. It’s the dog that plasters my welcome mat with crap that I hate.
Sep 2, 2010 at 7:47 pm rating: 15
#11
anonymouse
that white kitty was fucking delicious
Sep 2, 2010 at 7:49 pm rating: 19
#12
ChiquitasMom
I suppose if white kitty had gotten a rat from MY place and ate it and then pooped it out on MY lawn… I could consider that a fair trade.
Sep 2, 2010 at 7:59 pm rating: 23
#13
SB
I hate for cats to crap in my yard because my dog loves to eat it.
Then again, he’s also a cat killer, so he’s not doing himself any favors. (I have a fenced yard, but I make no secret of the fact that he’s very predatory. If folks want to let their cats run loose, they should know the risks they’re taking.)
Sep 2, 2010 at 8:00 pm rating: 8
#14
jadefirefly
Except that animal feces FEEDS rats.
Sep 2, 2010 at 8:07 pm rating: 28
#15
Woman on the Verge
Next week each neighbor will receive an invoice from White Kitty Extermination Services: Keeping You From Being Infested By Man-Eating Rats Since 2009
Sep 2, 2010 at 8:11 pm rating: 36
#16
Kristen
I am on the note writer’s side, and I’ve never even had a cat. ‘Edie’ sounds like a bitch complaining to all the neighbors about some cat poop. Just mow over it and turn it in to fertilizer, and be glad that there aren’t rat droppings in your house.
Sep 2, 2010 at 8:17 pm rating: 18
#17
P87
Stray cats need to take a crap too. what if they were contributing to the problem?
Sep 2, 2010 at 8:50 pm rating: 3
#18
Nack
I’m a little wishy-washy here. It’s gross to find poo in your yard. Whether that’s from your own pet or someone elses’. In fact, it usually is worse when it’s someone elses’ for the fact you have to clean it up! Feels like infringing. However, in addition to this the pet is roaming all over, doing whatever, when they’re -domesticated- animals (not wild, and it’s bad for them to be roaming wild). Note writer is a nasty pet owner to put their pet (shotted and microchipped or not) in this kind of peril.
However, it’s also completely lame to complain about poo in your yard, in the middle of your yard. What do you do, sunbathe on the grass? Picnic? What? On the front lawn, what makes it so hard to dodge cat poo, which is significantly less large than dog, horse, cow, etc. manure?
So I suggest this slides to the scale of crack both heads together and keep the cat indoors.
Sep 2, 2010 at 9:21 pm rating: 2
#19
mystic_eye
Cats won’t normally poop in grass, they like to poop in loose soil and bury it?
Sep 2, 2010 at 9:24 pm rating: 10
#20
Don
One of the categories is most obnoxious, so it may have won for that.
http://www.purrfectpals.org/images/AJCS2010Brochure_KC.pdf
Sep 2, 2010 at 9:28 pm rating: 2
#21
Nahhh
I wish someone would teach my cats to kill rats. Or even the tiny mice that get in and steal the insulation from my oven. My cats are useless…but at least they use a litter box.
I’d let white kitty poo in my lawn if he’d come inside just long enough to kill those thieving little mice.
Sep 2, 2010 at 9:42 pm rating: 7
#22
Nikki
Yeah, killing one whole rat per week really keeps the rat infestation away.
Letter writer is just crazy.
Sep 2, 2010 at 10:08 pm rating: 13
#23
sleeps
Rather than complaining to the owner, I would simply scoop up White Kitteh’s crap and fling it back on the owner’s lawn. Or porch. She probably collects it and frames it anyway. “This is White Kitty’s crap from September ’05; note the rat bones inside. White Kitty is an excellent rat catcher!!”
Sep 2, 2010 at 10:21 pm rating: 52
#24
Kel
Seriously…somebody really needs some pussy control!
Sep 2, 2010 at 10:26 pm rating: 5
#25
Ell
Couldn’t agree with you more. My cat kills three or four mice/moles/voles/shrews (that we know of) per DAY. He single handedly (pawedly?) solved our neighbour’s mouse problem in three days. One rat per week is not impressive, sorry.
Now, if only he would catch the mice living inside the house instead of just the ones living outside…
Sep 2, 2010 at 10:38 pm rating: 6
#26
JetJackson
Targeted advertising is doing it’s job on pan with an ad for this appearing on this post http://www.catmax.com.au/
Meanwhile I think http://www.dontevenreply.com has the perfect solution for cat problems…
Sep 2, 2010 at 10:39 pm rating: 0
#27
TippingCows
I saw “white kitty” an automatically thought of … yeah, you know what I was thinking. Perverts.
Sep 2, 2010 at 10:57 pm rating: 0
#28
ashmeadow
Of course people complain about white kitty. White kitty’s not scary enough. None of the neighbors want to cross black kitty’s path, though.
Sep 2, 2010 at 11:36 pm rating: 7
#29
shwonline
White kitty’s real name? Vanilla Mice.
Sep 2, 2010 at 11:46 pm rating: 31
#30
Grant
Hey! Just to let you know I saw some hood rat sneakin’ around your back windows, so I chased him off, but I got kind of caught short, so I crapped on your lawn.
Sep 3, 2010 at 3:35 am rating: 10
#31
abasheldush
I’m in favor of following Jim Carrey’s advice; poop on the lunatic’s lawn
Sep 3, 2010 at 3:40 am rating: 4
#32
Oink
These people who mind cats pooing in their gardens – and to Edie who asked her neighbour to clean it up! – what do you think of the birds? Who do you complain to then?
My goodness, I only wish my cats would go and poo in someone else’s garden…
Sep 3, 2010 at 4:17 am rating: 6
#33
Joe
We had a neighbour like that too, so we got one of those big high-pressure water guns (Well, it was more like a water rifle really) and whenever we saw the cat in our garden, we’d shoot it with that. After about three times it got the message and never set foot in our garden again.
Sep 3, 2010 at 5:08 am rating: 10
#34
Winston Smith
That cat is probably not making a dent in the outdoor rat population.
In fact the rats would be eating the cat food that selfish pet owner is leaving out for its cat.
Sep 3, 2010 at 7:21 am rating: 2
#35
GhostWriter
“He has also won first place at the Average Joe Cat Show, the last three years running.
Regards,
- Average Joe”
Sep 3, 2010 at 7:41 am rating: 4
#36
Sean Jungian
What struck me about this letter was the mention that Maine coons were bred specifically to kill rats (and presumably other vermin). Isn’t that what ALL cats were domesticated for?
I used to live in Bellevue (shudder) but now I live in a small rural town, where most people let their cats out at night. I never have had a problem with cat sh*t, but the frequency of dead birds in my yard in the mornings is a little astonishing.
As for kids playing outside and coming across poop, well, in my experience its always been the sandboxes that attract cat defecation. I’ve never seen cat poop out on the grass, they seem to generally go on the edges and bury it.
I dunno, we’re living in a society here. There’s a certain amount of other people’s (and their cats’) annoying sh*t up with which you have to put.
Sep 3, 2010 at 7:56 am rating: 14
#37
GhostWriter
White Kitty?
Do I know your sister Black Betty?
Whoa, White Kitty (awesome cat)
Whoa, White Kitty (awesome cat)
White Kitty caught a rat (awesome cat)
So don’t mind his crap (awesome cat)
Coon Cat from Maine (awesome cat)
Rat killing’s his fame (awesome cat)
Said whoa, White Kitty (awesome cat)
Whoa, White Kitty (awesome cat)
-Guitar Break-
Whoa, White Kitty (awesome cat)
Whoa, White Kitty (awesome cat)
He don’t wear no collar (awesome cat)
He got the mole in my side yard (awesome cat)
He won first place (awesome cat)
Shot’s are up-to-date (awesome cat)
Whoa, White Kitty (awesome cat)
Whoa, White Kitty (awesome cat)
-Guitar Break-
Get It?
-Guitar Break-
Whoa, White Kitty (awesome cat)
Whoa, White Kitty (awesome cat)
He’s always bringin’ home a rat (awesome cat)
He’s a Maine Coon Cat (awesome cat)
Quit your complainin’ (awesome cat)
Rat infestation (awesome cat)
Whoa, White Kitty (awesome cat)
Whoa, White Kitty (awesome cat)
Sep 3, 2010 at 8:24 am rating: 16
#38
Savannah
There was horse poop in my yard yesterday when I got home from work. I don’t own a horse. It really baffles me. I’m beginning to think it’s a message from someone, but don’t they normally leave angry notes with that type of message?
Sep 3, 2010 at 8:32 am rating: 18
#39
ariane
The poor cat with no name is trying to teach its owner to hunt. By bringing home that one rat a week, it’s trying to encourage the crazy cat lady to get out there and kill a few rats herself.
Crazy cat lady probably thinks she is “respecting her cat’s dignity” by not giving it a name other than colour designation. Uh-huh. Takes all kinds. I guess White Kitty is marginally better than I guy I knew who numbered his cats (he was up to 5 when I knew him)–but only marginally.
Sep 3, 2010 at 9:04 am rating: 2
#40
1948goa
Poor white kitties die young because of cancer that hits their vulnerable unprotected fair skin.
Let WHITE KITTY live in peace and chase rats for that short while that is his life.
Uccia
Sep 3, 2010 at 9:48 am rating: 0
#41
North
Not to mention that white kitty will probably hemorrhage out from eating poisoned rats..
Team Anti-toxoplasmosis.
Sep 3, 2010 at 10:07 am rating: 0
#42
Edwina the Defrocked Nun
White kitty’s owner can laud white kitty to the skies, the fact remains white kitty poops on lawns and people want the poop removed.
Owner is missing the point here, and someone in the neighborhood (like, everyone who got a note on their door) ought to re-direct owner to the gist of the issue, backed up by a copy of the Bellevue nuisance ordinance.
Sep 3, 2010 at 11:15 am rating: 17
#43
mamason
Am I the only one who thinks it’s funny that the Maine Coon’s name is White Kitty?
Sep 3, 2010 at 12:52 pm rating: 5
#44
Other Julie
When I was a youth we had cats named Bitty and Kitty who were similarly talented. The neighbor across the street complained to us on a number of occassions. My parents, being dirty hippies, thought the cat should be free to do as he pleased. It was shortly after this that Kitty, along with a number of other neighborhood cats, Mysteriously Dissapeared. I am not sure how Bitty managed to evade capture but the defining feature that set him apart from the vanished cats was his consierable size, leading me to believe that he was possibly too fat for the cat trap.
Sep 3, 2010 at 1:38 pm rating: 3
#45
Cady
Whoop-dee-shit. I still don’t want it pooping on my lawn.
Sep 3, 2010 at 1:55 pm rating: 7
#46
Madrias
Your cat poops on my lawn, I poop in your lawn. Ultimate act of passive aggression.
Sep 3, 2010 at 4:01 pm rating: 7
#47
BrookeDiz
White Kitty + colostomy = problem solved.
Next?
Sep 3, 2010 at 7:18 pm rating: 0
#48
basherbasher
Dear Neighbor,
Today, I was visiting a neighbor who lives approximately 2 blocks away.
That neighbor told that their area has a huge stray cat infestation. Yes, just two blocks away, there is a huge stray cat infestation!!!
I know you like to complain about Black Dog barking sometimes, but you need to know he catches and brings me what’s left of at least one stupid stray cat a week, sometimes 2-3. He even bit a crazy cat lady who was letting her cat shit in my yard last week (he got two Milk Bones for that one).
I wish you would stop being so negative about Black Dog and appreciate the fact – yes FACT – THAT BLACK DOG IS KEEPING THE STUPID CAT POPULATION IN YOUR YARD UNDER CONTROL.
Black dog is a fuckin’ mutt, and wasn’t bred to do a damned thing but aggresively guard my shit (especially my yard), and kill stupid cats. He’s really good at it… Mean-assed, Olympic-level feline slaughtering skills… He’s the friggin’ Bode Miller of cat termination…
Black Dog does wear a collar with his name and my contact information, but he stays in his own fucking yard so it really doesn’t matter. If he ever does escape, don’t worry, he loves people (unless, of course, you smell like cats and let your cat shit in “his” territory, in which case you’d better be fast or tough). He just hates cats. Especially those insipid “Maine Coons”.
Regards,
Sep 3, 2010 at 8:14 pm rating: 19
#49
NoAdditives
As a loving cat owner, I keep my two cats indoors. They have a much longer lifespan when kept indoors and it is not at all cruel. They don’t mind a bit and even when doors are open they never try to go out. They often walk to the doorstep to take a peek outside, but they never actually go out. And they did actually have the “freedom” to go outside when I lived at my grandma’s farm. But living in a suburban area they are smart enough to know it’s safer indoors. They’ll never get hit by a car, and won’t be exposed to fatal diseases. I don’t see how that’s cruel.
And yes, toxoplasmosis is incredibly dangerous for pregnant women and young children. Any cat who eats wild animals can have it. That means that any cat who goes outdoors and is smart enough to hunt can transmit it. That should not be someone else’s problem. If I were gardening, came across a cat’s poop, contracted toxoplasmosis and my baby turned out to be blind, deaf, or worse, I had a miscarriage, I’d end up hating my neighbor’s cats.
Finally, Maine Coons were not bred by humans. They were just regular cats brought over from England that ended up wild in Maine. They evolved on their own to be huge, have long fluffy tails and a chirpy, trilling voice. Sadly, most Maine Coons being bred today are not nearly as large as they used to be, but any responsible breeder will at least strongly recommend the cats be kept indoors or in an enclosed space outdoors for their own safety.
Sep 3, 2010 at 10:11 pm rating: 6
#50
dragontoy
white kitty is all lower case. Sort of like k.d. lang. Maybe it’s really white k.d.?
Sep 4, 2010 at 12:56 am rating: 2
#51
Canthz_B
I like the note writer.
Like any true friend, she’s defending her ace boon coon.
Sep 4, 2010 at 3:32 pm rating: 1
#52
I don't know any crazy people like this
I don’t think “Edie” is telling us all of the story; there’s something just slightly “off” about it… Anyway, letting your cat outside without a collar? Not cool.
Also, if you’d let your dog kill and eat a cat? I hope you die in a car fire. I hope you roast and die, screaming in pain, smelling your own flesh crinkle and peel away. Have a nice time in hell.
Sep 4, 2010 at 8:41 pm rating: 2
#53
Cati
Well, this is a delicate subject. I now have a cat and even though I have a small backyard I also know she can run away when she wants to because of the building an fencing (it’s impossible to close the area so she won’t be out).
BUT here’s the thing: my cat has a litter tray in the backyard and that is the one and only place she uses to poop.
The neighbourhood cats have been coming to MY backyard to poop for YEARS now, since the house used to be closed 4 years ago. I haven’t found a way to make them stop, and I was very pissed at having to clean bags full of smelly cat poop out of my roof, patio, backyard & plants without having a cat on my own. Now that I have one I wonder if said cats have litter trays at home since my little girl won’t poop outside the box.
I think those cats poop in my patio because they consider that to be part of their territory. Now they’re facing a war because my cat considers that her territory.
What I’m trying to say is: I’m ok with cleaning my cat’s poop because hey, I got myself into this. But having to clean someone else’s mascot feces off my yard is just disgusting.
Sep 6, 2010 at 10:09 am rating: 5
#54
Parvaneh
I am really amazed by how much cat negativity is going on here. I am also from washington state and it’s really pretty normal in seattle and bellevue for there to be several indoor/outdoor cats on any block and almost none of them wear collars. There are also some feral cats, but in 24 years living in Seattle with cats consistently living in my yard (including my own cat), I have seen cat poop maybe three times.
Currently I am living in Turkey so the entire idea of having indoor cats seems very silly. There are stray cats everywhere and they are all well fed, mostly friendly, and astonishingly, there is no poop. There are also lots of stray dogs, who are also mostly friendly, well fed, and don’t poop all over the place. People clean the streets daily (or several times daily) anyway, so poop gets cleaned up quickly. Even cats with owners simply wander the streets. Cat food is just left out, and people feed the cats at restaurants. More people like cats than dogs, actually, since according to certain muslim sects, dogs are considered dirty, while the prophet loved cats. But regardless, the quality of life for both dogs and cats here is pretty good, and many cats and dogs are well into their teen years.
I strongly feel that the way a culture, as a whole, treats its animals says a lot about the place. These very angry threats people are making of either killing cats or having their dogs kill cats is really disturbing to me in that context.
Sep 8, 2010 at 6:35 pm rating: 8
#55
fizzle
So. I actually volunteered with Purrfect Pals, the rescue group that puts together the Average Joe Cat Show. There IS NO FIRST PLACE. Someone’s a-lyin’. EVERY cat wins something at the AJCS, be it “Blackest Kitty,” “Kitty with the Shortest Tail,” or “Most Ordinary Cat.” They basically make up a title for every cat, and every owner gets a ribbon. This lady is just friggin’ crazy.
Sep 13, 2010 at 7:27 pm rating: 6
#56
JoshD
Can we get white kitty to take care of that damn white rabbit while he is at it?
Sep 14, 2010 at 3:52 pm rating: 0
#57
Green
Hurting the cat’s not the solution, it’s not really the cat’s fault. I might get the rest of the neighborhood together and have this lady sit down with a lawyer if the shit keeps appearing in our yards though.
She wasn’t even told to keep her cat inside or anything. She was told to clean up its mess. A responsible pet owner is responsible for their pets.
Sep 21, 2010 at 2:55 pm rating: 1
#58
valerie
Insane.
Sep 23, 2010 at 4:41 pm rating: 0
#59
Alex
First of all, rat traps do not leave poop. Sounds like an excellent alternative. Second of all, hosing down loose animals who clean themselves with their tongues with a large tank squirt gun filled with very watered down ammonia (so it won’t clog up the gun) is an excellent method to ensure they learn not to set foot anywhere near your yard.
Oct 7, 2010 at 7:47 pm rating: 0
#60
Steve
For the record, the Average Joe Cat Show the crazy cat lady wrote about is a meaningless show where every participant wins. The AJCS is actually nothing more than a fundraiser for a local cat shelter, Purrfect Pals, an organization that advocates keeping cats safely INDOORS.
Oct 27, 2010 at 9:16 pm rating: 1
#61
Alyssa
I have another solution to rats… Pest control.
Solution for the cat poo? Gather it all up and throw it at her door step.
Also, if an animal (pet or not) is on your property, you can kill it legally in most states.
You could look into that.
You can also trap it, and call animal control.
I have an owner upstairs (apt complex) who is pretty similar. However, her cat poops/pisses outside my windows, rips my screens off to try to attack my cat (I have an infant human baby), and it meows at my front door and annoying hours. She doesn’t seem to care that her cat is endangering my cat, and baby and destroying my property. Why? Because “cats are supposed to be outside”. Even though in this state, domestic pets are to be kept inside, and if a pound gets them, you have to pay $150 to get it back. So, I am waiting to hear back from animal control, since it is a holiday weekend.
People really need to get off of their high horses and realize that where ever their cat goes, they are responsible for it.
Because if it gets into my apt again, I am getting it put down.
Nov 27, 2010 at 1:20 pm rating: 2
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