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Don’t touch my…stuff, you little piece of…stuff.

September 6th, 2010 · 49 comments

Chad and Cassie might want to be careful what they wish for…lest someone be tempted to “return” something they didn’t actually borrow first.


If you go as far as even touching my shit, I'll fucking kill you. [heart], Cassie  PS - Thanks in advance for returning the shit you took, you ball of shit

(Thanks to Travis in Austin and anonymous in Boise for submitting.)

related: Does your roommate have note-writing diarrhea?

FILED UNDER: Austin · heart · Idaho · p.s. · shit · touching

49 responses so far ↓

  • #1   mythirdeye

    I belive the technical term for ball of shit is dingleberry. The more you know…

    Sep 6, 2010 at 10:49 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   farcical aquatic ceremony

      great. now I’ll be thinking about dung beetles all day. there goes my diet.


      Sep 7, 2010 at 5:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Mo®

      Great now I will thinking of that mummy movie with Brandon Frasier and the scarab beetles… or was that Indiana Jones?

      Sep 7, 2010 at 8:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Nack

      Brendan. “The Mummy”. Mmm beetles that eat people and not dung. Might just be what’s called for with these letters…

      Sep 7, 2010 at 1:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #2   Jen

    I, for one, would be impressed if Cassie had the ability to tell whether or not people had merely ‘touched’ her stuff. That’s some CSI shit right there.

    Sep 6, 2010 at 11:40 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Andi

      When it comes down to borrowing clothes some girls can tell if it even got BREATHED on.

      Sep 7, 2010 at 7:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #3   AuntyBron

    Well, Cassie certainly has a limited vocabulary, doesn’t she?

    Sep 6, 2010 at 11:43 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Canthz_B bang

      Shit, yeah!

      Sep 6, 2010 at 11:59 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Mo®

      Fucking Classy Cassie, shit comes outta her mouth that a sailor wouldn’t say.

      Sep 7, 2010 at 8:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #4   TippingCows

    Cassie, you should be ashamed for possessing such a limited vocabulary.

    To whom it may concern,

    If you go as far as even touching my SHIT, I’ll fucking beat you into a quivering mass of pulp.
    Warm Regards,
    P.S. Thanks in advance for returning the feces with which you absconded, you sphere of defecation.

    Sep 7, 2010 at 12:02 am   rating: 38  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Wolverine Girl

      If you shit as far as even shitting my shit, I’ll shitting shit you. [shit], Shittie PS(hit) – Shits in advance for shitting the shit you shat, you shit of shit

      Sep 7, 2010 at 1:42 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Pterosaur

      “Sphere of Defecation” sounds like a spell you never want your mage to cast. Ever.

      Sep 7, 2010 at 10:10 am   rating: 44  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   Mo®

      Ah, playing the “Brown note”.

      Sep 7, 2010 at 1:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   The Elf

      I figured a sphere of defecation was a second effect (save ends) from a successful Stinking Cloud. Possibly also a second effect from Bigby’s Clenched Fist.

      Sep 7, 2010 at 2:37 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #4.5   Divvitar

      Hell no, “Sphere of Defecation” is definitely a wild surge effect caused when your wizard runs into the Venerable Red Dragon while out collecting spell components. It’s followed closely by “Create Water in Pants!”

      Sep 7, 2010 at 11:53 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #4.6   ammali

      I also just have to comment on the brilliance of the phrase “sphere of defecation”. I will be using that!

      Sep 9, 2010 at 7:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    Thanks, Cassie. From this time forward, whenever I take a shit I’ll congratulate myself for giving something back.

    I wonder if that shit is tax deductible?

    Sep 7, 2010 at 12:03 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Wolverine Girl

      I don’t know. Can you get deductions on deposits?

      Sep 7, 2010 at 1:39 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Canthz_B bang

      Well, if it’s a charitable contribution and shit…

      Sep 7, 2010 at 1:55 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   Gavin

      I suppose, it depends if you paid tax on the input?

      Sep 7, 2010 at 8:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    Cassie has too much shit on her mind.
    Time to call in the Promentalshitbackwashpsychosisenemasquad, A.K.A. The Doo-doo Chasers.

    Sep 7, 2010 at 2:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #7   JetJackson

    Every part of me wants to swap one of those white coathangers for a black one.

    Sep 7, 2010 at 3:40 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   The Elf

      I told you! No black hangers, ever!

      Sep 7, 2010 at 2:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Goodly

      Nig-Nog alert!

      Sep 10, 2010 at 3:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #8   emily

    perhaps cassie’s note is not completely unwarranted, i mean, how would the submitter get the picture if they weren’t going into her closet to touch her shit?

    Sep 7, 2010 at 3:54 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #9   Boomshine

    That shit was fucking delicious!


    Sep 7, 2010 at 6:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   WotV

      I hate you.

      Sep 7, 2010 at 8:19 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #10   Woman on the Verge bang




    Sep 7, 2010 at 8:22 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Madrias

      I touched it.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 1:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   ammali

      @ Madrias: that’s what she said?

      Sep 9, 2010 at 7:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #11   Gavin

    Has anyone managed to trap any more than 3 yellow balls in the new Google header today — damn that’s a good game!

    Productive G x

    Sep 7, 2010 at 8:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #12   Psycho

    If I catch any of you guys touching my stuff, I’ll kill you.

    Lighten up, Francis.

    Sep 7, 2010 at 8:24 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Noelegy

      Eee! Do I spy a “Summer School” reference? :D

      Sep 7, 2010 at 10:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Mills

      “Lighten up, Francis.”

      I believe that is from the movie Stripes (boom chugga lugga).

      Sep 7, 2010 at 9:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   shwonline bang

      That’s the fact, Jack! … er… Mills!

      Sep 7, 2010 at 9:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #13   Mo®

    They should sneak a wire coat hanger in Cassie’s closet and watch her head explode.

    Sep 7, 2010 at 8:54 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Edwina the Defrocked Nun

      Oh! Oh! I’ll go you one better!

      Get a bunch of stinky smelling shit from a thrift store – preferably one where people shit in the dressing rooms – and put them on wire hangers. Intersperse one of Cassie’s shit with one of the thrift-store shit, tightly packed. THEN watch her head explode.

      All the housemates have to be in on this prank for it to really work.

      Sep 7, 2010 at 9:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   H for Toy bang


      Sep 7, 2010 at 2:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #14   shwonline bang

    Note to self: Decline the invitation to Chad’s BYOS party.

    Sep 7, 2010 at 10:35 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #15   H for Toy bang

    I wonder… if I go “as far as” even touching her shit, she’ll kill me. What if I just look at it? What will happen then? To the pain?

    Sep 7, 2010 at 2:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Sean Jungian

      My god, what is that THING?

      Sep 8, 2010 at 7:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #16   Mark bang

    Fuck you, spammer! Lick my ass!

    Sep 7, 2010 at 3:39 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #17   Elorel

    I like to imagine that the Chad sign is actually pointing to a toilet.

    Sep 7, 2010 at 6:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #18   Matthew

    My co-worker wins this round:

    Sep 7, 2010 at 7:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #19   H for Toy bang

    If you go as far as even THINKING about posting that shit again, Mark will kill you!

    Sep 7, 2010 at 8:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #20   Divvitar

    I never take a shit, I always leave it. Taking shit makes my hands smell.

    Sep 7, 2010 at 11:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #21   pylgrim

    I “smell” a sequel note to that second one asking whomever it may be relevant to, to not defecate all over her shi- er, stuff ever again.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 1:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #22   Madrias

    Someone needs to shit in both of their shoes.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 1:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #23   Cassie

    For the record, I was upset…. and the “perp” for whom the note was intended, says SHIT all the time. Hence ALL of the “shit” :D
    (Thought I’d explain and defend myself, since I sound ignorant. HOWEVER! You have to understand who the note was for….. then you’d get it.)

    - Cassie

    ps- I’d literally DIE if you put another hanger in my closet that isn’t white and the specific brand I use.

    pss- My point exactly, clearly the bitch was in my closet YET AGAIN, otherwise where would this picture come from?… This upsets me. [especially to submit it to a site I look at daily, that upsets me even more]

    Sep 18, 2010 at 6:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up


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