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Paging Jane Goodall?

September 7th, 2010 · 62 comments

If you’re looking for an opportunity to study the unique social behavior of primates, there’s a compound in Orlando, Florida you might be interested in visiting.

Consider the package below, which a female named Misty (and no, that’s not a pseudonymous nod to Dian Fossey) recently found outside her dwelling, #14302, apparently left there by the group of lower-ranking females residing directly below.

Here's some candy. Don't be mad.

As you’ve observed, Dr. Goodall, dominant female chimpanzees have been known to deliberately kill the young of other females in the troop in order to maintain their dominance, so perhaps the preemptive Heath-bar offering accompanying the plea for quiet was an intelligent move on the part of these lesser-ranked females.

I’m sure you’ll agree, however, that further scientific study is necessary before any conclusions are drawn.

related: Please get yourself some slippers.

FILED UNDER: candy · neighbors · noise · Orlando · visual aids

62 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Gunderson

    Viewing the drawing of the upstairs residence, it seems she was doing the Chicken Dance. Maybe a Bratwurst would be a more appropriate pacification gift?

    Sep 7, 2010 at 9:00 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #2   The Great Joe Bivins

    I know it’s hot in Florida but those shorts? Really unflattering.

    Also Misty appears to live above a tribe of previously undiscovered half-human half-giraffes.

    Sep 7, 2010 at 9:07 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Ndawg

      … and doesn’t it also surprise you (and the rest of us armchair anthropologists) that Misty can make so much noise, her being just a half-formed and empty pair of shorts?

      Sep 8, 2010 at 7:36 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Ndawg

      AND she doesn’t even have a head! Where did she put that starburst?

      Sep 8, 2010 at 7:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   H for Toy bang

      I didn’t know the “pale green pants with nobody inside them” could stomp.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 7:57 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   The Elf

      Maybe it’s a perspective issue and she is bent over with her back to the page? Maybe she dances a perpendicular jig.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 11:36 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #3   farcical aquatic ceremony

    But won’t the candy only result in louder stomping?

    Sep 7, 2010 at 9:13 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

  • #4   Kristi

    Misty ate the Starburst before taking the pic! :D

    Sep 7, 2010 at 9:14 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Nack

      And that’s why she’s taking pictures, posting them on the internet, and not stomping. Hrm. It appears the above is NOT the dominate female, with the out-maneuvering at play.

      Study over. Starbursts for the win.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 3:07 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #5   shwonline bang

    It looks like the first scene in Inglourious Basterds, with candy.

    Sep 7, 2010 at 9:17 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #6   Sushi_Wooshi bang

    Don’t feed the clubfoot upstairs… !

    Sep 7, 2010 at 9:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #7   Elorel

    This image manages to combine passive aggression, doodling, guilt, regret, and bribery. That’s art by some definition, right? Also, doesn’t Misty know she shouldn’t eat candy from strangers?

    Sep 7, 2010 at 9:22 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #8   cathy

    The Heathbar is filled with sedatives. There won’t be any stomping for 8-12 hours.

    Sep 7, 2010 at 10:41 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

  • #9   TippingCows

    I interpret this as the people living above are *this close* to tattling on the brothel downstairs.

    And now the “ladies” are trying to bribe them with candy. What’s next – unmentionable favors?!

    Sep 7, 2010 at 10:51 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Nack

      You’d like that wouldn’t you?! And no, they won’t take pictures of their unmentionable favors either.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 3:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #10   Divvitar

    Maybe instead of clogging alone, Misty should join the party downstairs. Bring a few beers along with the candy and chill out.

    Sep 7, 2010 at 11:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #11   WMDKitty

    Maybe the “ladies” (and I use the term loosely) downstairs are always being loud and obnoxious, so Misty’s stomping to try to get them to keep it down.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 12:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   sb

      if misty was stomping to tell them to keep the noise down, then surely they wouldn’t be too bothered about or hear the stomping? just a thought.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 12:42 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   WMDKitty

      Oh, you’d be surprised….

      Sep 8, 2010 at 2:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   MAMARILLA2 bang

      “Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope,

      Sep 8, 2010 at 12:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #12   Kel

    That Starburst was fucking delicious!

    Sep 8, 2010 at 2:05 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   phatBoy


      what a well-timed comic interjection.. well played sir!!!

      Sep 8, 2010 at 2:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      Now I hate you both.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 7:15 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

  • #13   Oink

    Oh that’s so supremely odd. And therefore wonderful.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 5:04 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #14   JetJackson

    6 chicks living in one apartment! If we didn’t know the protagonist Misty was female you would have to wonder if that was actually foot stomping and not something else.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 5:40 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   farcical aquatic ceremony

      Yeah, my brain is boggled that the missive produced by SIX women roomates isn’t more bitchy ~ from the degree of bloating evident in those triangle bodies of theirs, their ‘cycles’ have synchronized and they should be a couple of stomps away from total meltdown…If I were Misty*, I’d get the royal taster to test those chocolates.

      (*also, I’d change my name forthwith. What? We were gonna let “Misty” go???)

      Sep 8, 2010 at 8:47 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #15   Boxstacker

    Cute monkey jokes aside, was Misty actually stomping to send some kind of message to the neighbors downstairs? Inquiring minds want to know.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 7:03 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #16   tinkerbell2

    Team Misty. If they are being noisy enough that she has to stomp to shut them up, a ‘don’t be mad’ note’s not going to cut it. A ‘sorry’ might have been a start – but just keeping the damn noise down would surely be appreciated more than chocolate?

    Sep 8, 2010 at 7:06 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   H for Toy bang

      Maybe Misty has a heavy walk and they meant “don’t be mad, we think you walk like an elephant and you’re fat.”

      Sep 8, 2010 at 11:55 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   Ndawg

      Plus, “Here’s some candy, to make sure you stay that way.”

      Sep 8, 2010 at 5:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #17   Woman on the Verge bang

    Now I can’t get the image of six poorly dressed deformed women with bad hair doing a line dance to Achy Breaky Heart out of my mind.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 7:17 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   The Elf

      The horror….. the horror……

      Sep 8, 2010 at 7:22 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #18   Savannah

    Um…this totally looks like a note I would write. And, yes, I would use stick people.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 7:21 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #19   April

    This post confuses me. So were the girls downstairs apologizing for being loud or was the stomper apologizing?

    Sep 8, 2010 at 7:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Yellowknife

      *Sigh.* No one is apologizing. The girls downstairs gave the stomper some candy to get her to stop stomping. Srsly, read the description.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 12:52 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #20   Canthz_B bang

    Note to self: Don’t take the apartment beneath Savion Glover’s place.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 9:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #21   Chiclet

    Did that work? Because I would gladly bribe my upstairs neighbors with candy if it will get them to stop screaming at each other by day and banging each other by night.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 9:29 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   eslinger bang

      You’d prefer them to bang each other during the day and scream at each other at night, then?

      Sep 8, 2010 at 1:01 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #21.2   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe they could scream at each other while banging all day and night.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 1:56 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #21.3   mamason bang

      Now that’s what I’m talking about!

      Sep 8, 2010 at 2:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #22   iam dumb

    I love it how one of the stick figures is really fat. I wonder if the fat roommate was offended.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 10:14 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   mamason bang

      She was probably pissed that they took her candy.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 2:44 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

  • #23   Cady

    I just call the cops when my neighbors get too loud. (This is, of course, after asking them politely to turn down the music with no results.)

    Sep 8, 2010 at 10:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Madrias

      Been there, done that many times. Surprisingly it really works. I don’t, however, ask them to turn down their music, cause then they stop it at 10, wait till about 2 in the morning, and then blast me with it when I have to get up at 6 to go to my part time job.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 1:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #23.2   Cady

      They only get one polite asking, the first time the music’s loud. If they actually turn it down like decent human beings, I’ll ask every time. If they turn it down for 30 seconds and then crank it back up, or tell me to fuck off and mind my own business (ah, apartment living) I call the cops immediately EVERY SINGLE TIME THEREAFTER. I ain’t playin.

      Sep 9, 2010 at 10:35 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #23.3   Madrias

      I used to ask politely every time. Our downstairs neighbors are actually the bad ones. Our upstairs neighbors understand I need my sleep. It’s really late right now, but I’m waiting for the cops to show up for our downstairs neighbors again.

      Our upstairs neighbors actually turned off the subwoofer at 10 out of kindness (I’ve asked for them to turn it off at 11 PM, only cause I understand movies can be loud.) and finished their movie. They also offer popcorn and movies up there now and then, and I never turn down good stove-popped popcorn.

      Sep 18, 2010 at 12:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #24   Mo®

    They thought that by offering “fun size” bricks of english toffee they could get away with some quiet.

    Don’t play Misty like that.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 11:28 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   H for Toy bang

      The fat roommate ate the full size candy. And apparently one of the Starbursts.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 11:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #25   Canthz_B bang

    This apartment complex is just months away from all out war.
    Alas, the policy of appeasement never works, and we can now expect clog-dancing upstairs until Snickers bars are on offer.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 1:00 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #26   Amy

    Aw, I think that one’s kinda sweet! They were obviously terrified of appearing like terrible bitches :D

    Sep 8, 2010 at 2:05 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #27   Canthz_B bang


    Scram, Spammer

    Sep 8, 2010 at 2:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #28   Mark bang

    FUCK YOU TIFFANY! Do you have to post to every note whoring your stupid fucking website? LICK MY TAINT!

    Sep 8, 2010 at 2:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #29   Lurker


    Sep 8, 2010 at 2:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #30   mamason bang

    Umm… Mark? :-|

    Are you back on the pixie stix and Red Bull diet?

    Sep 8, 2010 at 2:47 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #31   Zarggg

    Doesn’t six women living in the same space qualify as a brothel?

    Sep 8, 2010 at 3:22 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   Mo®

      Or a sexy party.

      *cue Benny Hill music*

      Sep 8, 2010 at 3:31 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #32   Woman on the Verge bang

    Pimp your shit elsewhere.
    That is all.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 3:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #33   She Ra bang

    I actually think this is the cutest note ever. Makes me wish I lived in an apartment again just so I could copy it.

    Sep 12, 2010 at 2:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #34   Patterson Court

    Six roommates, stomping neighbors, ugly countertops…

    They all live in the Disney complex. XD my neighbors upstairs are stompers too. But I’m not buying them shit.

    Sep 17, 2010 at 7:01 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #35   kristen

    i was just about to say that, #29!

    i saw the numbers of the apartment, & six females in one apartment, it has to be disney!

    these girls all work at disney world for a college semester, & live in disney provided housing.

    cut them a break, misty, they probably have shitty jobs in outdoor food services.

    Sep 27, 2010 at 12:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   Misty

      Try being custodial.

      Oct 3, 2010 at 2:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #36   Stephanie

    I didn’t have a single roommate problem as a Disney CP. It was a freakin’ blast and I would take it back any day in comparison to the crackheads I’ve had to deal with in Los Anegles apartments.

    Chatham Square Fall 2006!! haha

    Oct 15, 2010 at 7:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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