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The most inane thing since sliced bread

September 8th, 2010 · 76 comments

Really, folks? You share a kitchen and a bathroom, and this is all you’ve got to complain about?

::sigh:: White bread problems…

This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in a fridge. You can't REFRIDGERATE [sic] TOAST!

Matt if you crinkle anymore [sic] bread I will put those pieces in your bed :)

(Thanks to Sarah Jane in Australia and Michelle in Canada for submitting!)

related: Is this a thing now?

extra credit: Toasted Toast Post-it Notes []

FILED UNDER: Australia · bread · roommates · siblings · smiley · spelling and grammar police · Waterloo

76 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Jonathan

    That bread was fucking… nasty, actually.


    Sep 8, 2010 at 7:36 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Canthz_B bang

      OMG! Bill Frist commented here?!

      Sep 9, 2010 at 12:42 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #2   sarah

    What the fuck is a frist?

    Sep 8, 2010 at 8:04 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   goose

      Frist = reFRIdgerated toaST I guess…

      Sep 8, 2010 at 8:14 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

  • #3   Quite Contrary

    Does any pa note writer know how to spell correctly?

    Sep 8, 2010 at 8:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Mark bang


      Sep 9, 2010 at 9:17 am   rating: 53  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Quite Contrary

      Sigh. I deserved that. But you know that isn’t what I meant. :)

      Sep 9, 2010 at 12:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   Patti

      That is how we spell REFRIDGERATE in Australia. Duhhhh

      Sep 9, 2010 at 8:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   park rose

      Patti, I think you are getting refridgerate and degenerate mixed up, but I can’t check really, as the Macquarie dictionary requires me to subscribe. Maybe you could flick through it and tell me if that form of spelling acutally is peculiar to Australia.

      As an aside, Wikipedia tells me this: In 1857, Australian James Harrison developed the world first practical ice making machine and refrigeration system, and it was used in the brewing and meat packing industries of Geelong, Victoria. So, there you go. It’s all connected somehow.

      Sep 9, 2010 at 9:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #4   Jen

    I’m moderately curious about this ‘crinkled’ bread. I’m imagining something that makes the bread look like crinkle-cut fries…sort of like those toasters that stamp Hello Kitty’s face into it.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 8:25 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   clumber

      My guess is that it is the crinkled bread is what remains when one reaches to the middle of the loaf to get the “best” slices in the middle. One’s hand rather crushes the bread nearer to the opening.

      And yes, I know this because I have been hollered at for crinkling the bread exactly like that.

      Sep 9, 2010 at 8:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   aloria

      Umm… am I missing something here? It’s a freaking loaf of bread, not a bag of skittles. Except for the very end pieces, shouldn’t the loaf should be consistent throughout…?

      Sep 9, 2010 at 9:51 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   The Elf

      The end peices are the best, anyway!

      Sep 9, 2010 at 10:20 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   aaa bang

      There are no true bread slices aside from the stumps. The slices in the middle are only imposters aspiring to become truly bread.

      Sep 9, 2010 at 10:31 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #4.5   clumber

      Depends on the bread, really. Top Foods Cascade Bread (which I am certain is baked with heroin) the best pieces are definitely in the very very middle. There is also the occasional issue of holes in the bread which sucks if you are eating, say, PB and honey. You don’t want honey dripping all over do you! So sometimes one needs to be more discerning when choosing one’s sandwich bread.

      After all, in our household SOME of the bread is going to go to waste (or go to the birds) and it damn sure ain’t going to be the best pieces!

      Dammit. Now I’m hungry.

      Sep 9, 2010 at 1:32 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #4.6   mystic_eye_cda

      Bread gets crinckled around here all the time, that’s what happens when you have little kids that help you:
      1) Put groceries in the grocery cart
      2) Put groceries in bags
      3) Help themselves to food on the shelf / put food back on the shelf. Ever seen what a 1 kg of peanut butter does when you stack it on a loaf of bread?

      Sep 9, 2010 at 6:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #4.7   Michelle

      The note was written by my 18 year old daughter to her 15 year old brother. I had to take a picture! (Secretly, I think it was me who “crinkled” the bread by twisting and tying too tightly.)

      Sep 10, 2010 at 5:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #5   farcical aquatic ceremony

    If by ‘crinkled’ bread you mean that state the bread’s in after I’m done indulging my toast-Frotteurism, then, RAWRR!! pop those babies between the sheets!!

    Sep 8, 2010 at 8:37 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #6   Elorel

    The first notewriter seems to be Australian – maybe he just didn’t want to buy a box of melba toast? Perhaps he was planning on croutons for dinner? Maybe the toast looked like Jesus?

    Sep 8, 2010 at 8:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Canthz_B bang

      Nonsense. Jesus Christ is on a cracker! ;-)

      Sep 9, 2010 at 12:19 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   Mo®

      Nope CB, Jesus is on a tortilla. The prime minister of Russia is on a tasty snack cracker… yes it is Putin on the Ritz.

      Sep 9, 2010 at 8:38 am   rating: 45  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   Canthz_B bang

      He used to be on a tortilla, Mo®, but Sheriff Joe took care of that! :-)

      ♫ Come with me to Russia, see
      We’ll watch them spend
      Their last two bits,
      Putin on the Ritz! ♫

      Berlin attacks Moscow! ;-)

      Sep 9, 2010 at 8:46 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #7   Worker 11811

    The stupidest thing I have ever seen is not a piece of toast in the fridge. The stupidest thing I’ve ever seen is a Post-It Note on a piece of toast!

    Sep 8, 2010 at 9:04 pm   rating: 100  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   The Elf

      Can you even refrigerate post-it notes? Wouldn’t the cold cause the glue to become less sticky and thus render the post-it useless? These are the questions that keep us up at night.

      Sep 9, 2010 at 8:20 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   James P

      I think I may laugh about this particular comment until the day I die. Well played Sir/Madame.

      Sep 10, 2010 at 3:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   Xenobiologista

      ^ Second.

      Sep 12, 2010 at 2:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #8   TippingCows

    Why can’t you refrigerate toast? Does it turn into little toast monsters if you leave it in after midnight or something?
    And how does one crinkle bread? Ah, the mysteries of refined starches.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 9:57 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   mystic_eye_cda

      It gets soggy if you refrigerate it, it also tends to taste like fridge… not to mention then its cold not warm

      Sep 9, 2010 at 6:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #9   H for Toy bang

    No, but you can REFRIGERATE TOAST! Because I just did.

    On a side note, I spent several minutes trying to get the greasy spots off my computer screen before realizing that NW #1 is not just an idiot, he’s a greasy idiot.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 10:48 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #10   becca

    Toast gets soggy when refrigerated. Why would you want to eat soggy toast? If your gonna stick it in the fridge, there was no point in toasting because the next day, it wont be toast anymore. It will be gross crusty bread. :)

    Sep 8, 2010 at 11:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   FeRD bang

      But that’s exactly how I like my toast!!

      Sep 8, 2010 at 11:13 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Vivi

      Really? I always buy one pack of toast to eat now, and one to freeze, so I get through the week without anything getting moldy or having to go to the shop twice. I’ve never had a problem thawing the frozen toast.

      Also: Who puts bread in the fridge? I do, if it’s like 30 °C and 80 % humidity in the summer.

      Though I am mystified by the “crinkled” bread…

      Sep 9, 2010 at 4:17 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   Mills

      Debating the value of refrigerated toast! I love America. Actually, you CAN refrigerate toast and make it “toasty” again. All you have to do is pop it back into the toaster and re-toast.

      Sep 9, 2010 at 11:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   Limeliberator bang

      Yes, it’s physically possible to re-toast it but it’s just going to taste like the fridge. I mean there’s baking soda in bread and that’s what absorbs the smells in your fridge. They also tell you not to re-use the baking soda in food after it’s de-tinkified your fridge. And smells are just tiny runaway particles of food. Therefore I conclude that there must be a nasty taste to refridgerated toast.

      Besides, how expensive is toast that you MUST save leftovers??

      Sep 13, 2010 at 3:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #10.5   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Baking soda in raised bread..? I thought it was yeast. If you wrap the toast in saran/plastic wrap, then you don’t get the extra flavor.

      Sep 13, 2010 at 3:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    Saving leftover toast is for the birds.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 11:17 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   park rose

      Good point, CB. Just ask Hansel and Gretel. They found out the hard way.

      Sep 9, 2010 at 2:12 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #12   FeRD bang

    Anyone else spot that note #2 is a poem, BTW?

    A terrible poem, admittedly, but I’d say we still have to make some allowances for Matt’s secret loather. Seeing as he/she’s the tortured artist type, and all.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 11:34 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Worker 11811

      Ah! He was a poet and didn’t even know it!
      It will probably be grounds for revoking his poetic license, though.

      Sep 8, 2010 at 11:55 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      Note #2 is a page from the never-published book by Dr. Seuss: Crumbs in My Bed and Other Fetishes Ahead

      Sep 9, 2010 at 7:56 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   The Elf

      Oh the places you’ll go!

      Sep 9, 2010 at 8:23 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #12.4   Mo®

      I do not want crumbs in my bed. Crumbs of crackers or of bread. I do not want them when I play. These crumbs they’re in the way. I don’t want them when I hit the hay. I do not want them Mistress May. I do not want them any way.

      Sep 9, 2010 at 8:56 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #12.5   The Gecko Hunter

      Would you eat it with a Post-It?
      Would you eat it if we toast it?

      Sep 10, 2010 at 5:54 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #12.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      But you must refrigerate it
      a full day before you ate it..

      Sep 11, 2010 at 11:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #13   Divvitar

    Man, you are really an idiot if you’re lot in life is to be the Fridge Police. The fridge toast-hater should do something more useful with his passive-aggressive post-it notes; like say, complain about the assholes who double park at the supermarket.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 11:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Janellionaire

      I leave notes on double-parked cars! They’re openly aggressive, though, so I can’t post ‘em here.

      Sep 9, 2010 at 12:09 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   Canthz_B bang

      What are you if you mix up “your” and “you’re”?

      Sep 9, 2010 at 12:16 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   Divvitar

      Wow, epic fail there. I am totally ashamed! Especially since I detest spelling errors like that! Damn it! Now I’ll have to admit that I patrol the refrigerator and make sure there are no partially burned bread products inside, like the rest of the idiots.

      Sep 9, 2010 at 1:24 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #13.4   Canthz_B bang

      No worries. There’s safety in numbers! ;-)

      Sep 9, 2010 at 2:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #14   Nack

    This was bread that was uncrinkled by the toaster. It’s being efficient! Saving it from its crinkled misery.

    Sep 8, 2010 at 11:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    Crinkled bread is no problem…if you have a panini press.
    If you make two, you have a nice pair of pressed pans!

    Sep 9, 2010 at 12:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #16   ammali

    Actually, you *can* refrigerate toast. He just did it, see?

    Sep 9, 2010 at 7:53 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #17   Woman on the Verge bang

    That was a Toast-It Note.

    Sep 9, 2010 at 7:56 am   rating: 39  small thumbs up

  • #18   G

    Crinkled bread is simple: It’s bread that has been pushed down with a force verticly like squidging down aero chocolate, it destroys all the bubbly-goodness; and is also a pet-hate of mine. When you get fresh bread, and it’s all bouncy and lush, it’s a sin when that a-hole, who doesn’t know how to use a knife, comes along behind you and savages it….

    Excuse me…

    %WDAWE”*£!Y”£!*Y WHY!!!? God, WHY!?!!@!

    Sep 9, 2010 at 8:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Vivi

      I’m still mystified.
      Doesn’t the bread bounce back if you squish it?

      Or do I have the wrong image in my mind? I’m from Germany: If I read “bread”, I imagine kilo loafs of rye-wheat sour-dough, with a crust that should be too sturdy to squish. Even if it’s very soft, factory-made bread, it should rise again after you put pressure on it, or there’s something wrong with it.

      … And in comparing this to my experience of what Brits think of as “bread”, I suddenly realise where Terry Pratchett got his idea for dwarven battle bread…

      Sep 9, 2010 at 4:36 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   mystic_eye_cda

      Cheap white bread in the US and Canada is probably hard to explain to people who’ve never had it… its kind of like a cross between a sponge and cotton candy.

      Its kind of wet and doesn’t really bounce back… and yes it is as awful as it sounds, and yet wonderful and comforting at the same time.

      Sep 9, 2010 at 7:00 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.3   Lynn

      Remember, most food in America is factory produced and made out of chemically altered corn, and therefore does not retain the properties of real food.

      Sep 10, 2010 at 9:25 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.4   Xenobiologista

      @Vivi: one popular brand of American white bread is called Wonder Bread – because it makes you wonder if it’s really bread.

      Speaking of Pratchett, the Scone of Stone is one of my favourite puns from Discworld.

      Sep 12, 2010 at 2:56 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.5   anglophile bang

      That’s right, Lynn. Why, here in ‘Merica, we don’t grow no food of our own, no ma’am. We makes it in a factory out of three ingredients: corn, soybeans and crude oil. Nobody eats fresh vegetables or fruit, you can’t find a whole grain if your life depended on it, and almost everything we eat comes wrapped in plastic. The health nuts over here eat pretty much the same thing as the rest of us slobs, except they only eat Twinkies and Doritos on Sundays.

      Sep 12, 2010 at 8:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      “T’Bread Wi’ T’Edge”

      Sep 13, 2010 at 4:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #19   liddy

    What is “crinkle bread”? My inner Sherlock points to the background of the picture of the “crinkle-bread hater”‘s note, which has the appearance of a butcher block i.e. cutting board aka scene of the crime. The C.B.H. had to have found crinkles of said bread on the cutting board after the accused took a knife, massacred it and based on their blatant disregard of others, left the evidence of such for the C.B.H. to encounter. Since they are assumed roomates, I would guess this has been an annoying habit that has been the topic of previous conversations. Therefore, my dear Watson, upon finding the crinkles on the butcher block on the cuttng board and it cleaning up for the umpteenth time created such a rage that the C.B.H. acted out her anger by penning such note, and by threatening to leave the remains of the bread, in the bed is a reference to the head of the horse in “The Godfather” movie. HA!!!! Either that Watson, or she is just a bitch.

    Sep 9, 2010 at 9:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #20   aaa bang

    At first I wondered why Note Writer #1 even cared that the toast was refrigerated if he wasn’t the one who was going to be eating it. Then I remembered that food is serious fucking business, so serious that it causes one to misspell in their haste to correct those who eat food in the incorrect manner.

    Sep 9, 2010 at 10:36 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #21   Divvitar

    My wife would have gone insane, not because there was half-eaten toast in the fridge, but because they didn’t put plastic wrap over it to cover it up!

    Sep 9, 2010 at 12:18 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #22   Fran

    You can retoast toast- you just need a toaster oven. I reheat grilled cheese all the time and it works fine.

    Sep 9, 2010 at 11:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #23   marley

    Of course you can refrigerate toast by putting it in the fridge. I’ve done it many times. You retoast it later and it tastes just the same… Wasting food is a crime against nature.

    Sep 10, 2010 at 1:52 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #24   Kat

    Would people stop saying NW #1 misspelt their note? That’s how we spell “refridgerate” in Australia. It’s correct in its original context – you Americans would have a fit if we kept saying you were spelling theatre or colour wrong just because you were spelling them the American way.
    Also, I’d imagine the half-eaten toast in the fridge thing would be annoying if it and the plate it was on were taking up a whole heap of fridge space.

    Sep 11, 2010 at 7:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   anglophile bang

      Kat, either the entire country of Australia spells refrigerate wrong, or it’s just you. Pick whichever makes you feel better, honey.

      Sep 11, 2010 at 8:34 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #24.2   (The original) Kat

      Hey! Stop besmirching my good name.

      Sep 11, 2010 at 8:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #24.3   park rose

      Kat, I have never spelt refrigerate the way you are suggesting, except in error, yet being australian is one of my favourite things to be. As I said above, I am just being neighbourly and could have just dreamt that the spelling of refrigerate is pretty universal, but I don’t have access to the Macquarie Dictionary.
      If I am wrong I am wrong. The word judgment in UK English often used to retain the ‘e’ after ‘ judge’, which is kind of consistent, but I am not sure about adding extra letters. After saying all that, this has been sent by phone, so please forgive me any errors – they are solely typos, except those that are spelling hand-me-downs.!
      Oh, and the dictionaries I am checking do have Australian- only words such as ‘chook’ and ‘sook’, so I think they do take into account spelling variations as well.

      Sep 11, 2010 at 10:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #24.4   anglophile bang

      Are you sure it’s not spelled drempt in Australian, rose?

      Sep 11, 2010 at 10:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #25   park rose bang

    Shurely not, glo! My spellcheck suggests ‘whitey’ rather than ‘shurely’. That’s gotta be fitting! Oh, and I meaned to say what I meaned to say, so, we could open the whole thread up to the many anomalies of English. I blame it on the sugar inherent in white bread.

    Sep 11, 2010 at 10:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   park rose bang

      Oops, gigglebrax fail. I blame that on white bread too.

      Sep 11, 2010 at 10:52 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #26   Odious

    Crinkle. A verb that should never be paired with “bread”.

    Sep 11, 2010 at 5:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #27   Limeliberator bang

    A lot of the handwritten notes that I’ve seen lately look as if they’ve been written by women. Has women’s lib finally made us all crazy??

    Sep 13, 2010 at 3:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #28   I pita the fool |

    [...] tells me Elizabeth’s brother might also have an opinion about whether toast can or cannot be refrigerated…and perhaps the appropriateness of Cinnamon Roll Casserole as a workplace [...]

    Aug 17, 2011 at 4:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

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