Shortly after moving to Columbus, Ohio, Julie received a welcome-wagon visit from her new neighbors…in the form of a post-it note stuck to the side of her motorcycle. Her bike, which was parked on the public city street across from her house, had apparently disrupted the neighborhood’s unofficial parking “regimin.”
“I complied with the rules of their little microcosm,” Julie says, “but I also turned the note into an overhead, which was a real gold mine for the rhetoric class I was teaching at Ohio State.”
![Hi, Welcome to the Neighborhod [sic]! Just wanted to Let you know that we all have a parking regimin [sic] and your Bike is totally screwing it up!!! Please park it on your side of the St. as we all have only 2 spaces in front of our homes. Thank you soooo Much!](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4096/4932437602_f4bd778e7e_b.jpg "Hi, Welcome to the Neighborhod [sic]! Just wanted to Let you know that we all have a parking regimin [sic] and your Bike is totally screwing it up!!! Please park it on your side of the St. as we all have only 2 spaces in front of our homes. Thank you soooo Much!")
Adds Julie: “Incidentally, when parked perpendicularly, a motorcycle uses roughly 2.5 feet of street.”
related: I shoveled this spot. IT’S MINE.
148 responses so far ↓
#1
Meg
Wow, guess they’re just not that into bikes, eh?
Sep 9, 2010 at 9:55 pm rating: 90
#2
Ellie O
Can I just say- front and back post-it notes? Why not get a piece of real paper if you have that much to say? The back of a post it is not for writing. It is for posting. Seriously- does neighborperson have no shame?
Sep 9, 2010 at 10:11 pm rating: 90
#3
Twez
Why go out of your way to park in front of your neighbor’s house when your own curb space is free?
Sep 9, 2010 at 10:11 pm rating: 90
#4
Chris
The “ass” with the second “s” crossed out is a nice touch, as is the heart incorporated into the exclamation point. Thank you soooo much!
Sep 9, 2010 at 10:12 pm rating: 90
#5
ClearlyDemented
This lazy public-street-claimer sect is everything that’s wrong with America today. I say, ‘if there’s no chair, then I’m parking there.’
Sep 9, 2010 at 10:17 pm rating: 90
#6
pit pat
So it’s not only Chicagoans who do that?
Sep 9, 2010 at 10:18 pm rating: 90
#7
Linds
I usually agree with the submitters, but motorcycle parking idiotness can throw a wrench in plans! A new tennant at my apartment feels the need to park their motorcycle parallel to the curb in the prime parking spot. And never leave or park their car in front of the bike. Screwing up parking on the street messes with people’s routines and they go crazy!
Sep 9, 2010 at 10:18 pm rating: 90
#8
Alissa H.
I hate it when people park in front of my house. If they don’t have room in front of their house then maybe they should get rid of some vehicles.
Sep 9, 2010 at 10:18 pm rating: 90
#9
rock
PUBLIC STREETS, do you know what that means? Just because it’s in front of the place where you keep your shit doesn’t mean it’s yours
Sep 9, 2010 at 10:29 pm rating: 90
#10
Kim
Ok. I’m from NYC so I have very little patience when I hear of “unofficial” parking rules in other cities. Like if you shovel out your spot during a snowstorm it’s your’s because you stuck a lawn chair in it until the snow melts, even if you leave it unoccupied for 10 hours a day (Boston??).
Seriously people, you do not own the street. If having a reserved parking spot is so important to you, freaking pay for it, or buy a house with a driveway. Outside of that, if it’s a legal parking space, you have absolutely no right to claim it.
I seriously would park my bike there out of spite if I got a note like that. Bitches.
Sep 9, 2010 at 10:32 pm rating: 90
#11
Nack
Have any of these people heard of a drive-way? Just a thought, park in your own driveway, or better, your own garage. I’d assume with a house you’d have both. Then there’s no need for Street-Fighter Subdivision Edition. (Besides, soccer moms look bad high-kicking like Dhalsim.)
Sep 9, 2010 at 10:33 pm rating: 90
#12
April
I have to wonder why she did not park her motorcycle in front of her own house? I would kinda miffed too if I could not park in front of my own house because someone else decided they should park there instead of in front of their own house.
Still this is why when I bought a house my own driveway and garage were mandatory! I hate street parking.
Sep 9, 2010 at 10:45 pm rating: 90
#13
Mills
Wow… the little heart under the exclamation point makes this pointless diatribe so much more palatable, doesn’t it?
Seriously, people. If you don’t want people to park in front of your house, move to the country where you will have NO neighbors. That is probably just as well, since no one would want to be your neighbor in the first darned place.
Sep 9, 2010 at 10:57 pm rating: 90
#14
Bexley
Live in Columbus long enough and you won’t have to worry about parking anymore–your bike will get stolen.
Sep 9, 2010 at 11:25 pm rating: 90
#15
aaa
I’ve been to numerous fencing tournaments at OSU. FUCK OSU.
That is all.
Sep 10, 2010 at 12:47 am rating: 90
#16
becca
I hate it when people park in fron of my house. I have 2 kids, and no driveway. So if someone parks in front of my house, I have to walk half a block dragging both kids and all my crap with me. Sucky people.
Sep 10, 2010 at 1:02 am rating: 90
#17
kristiea68
Oh geez…those kinds of people need to try and park in San Francisco some time. I am parked 3 blocks from my house, and that felt lucky because I found it the 1st time I circled the house. Not the usual 30-45 minutes after I pass my house for the 1st time……
Sep 10, 2010 at 2:27 am rating: 90
#18
Cameroon
This is fascinating: comments seem split between those who realize that public streets are for the enjoyment and benefit of us, the public, and those land-grabbing opportunists who’d stake claim to a rabbit turd if it dropped in front of their suburban McMansion.
Not that I’m taking sides.
Sep 10, 2010 at 3:47 am rating: 90
#19
Nuno Duarte
This is absolutely unthinkable in Europe.
Sep 10, 2010 at 3:52 am rating: 90
#20
pop
yeah! try living in Lisbon, Portugal. If you can find a space in the same neighborhood of your house you’re lucky as hell.
Sep 10, 2010 at 4:57 am rating: 90
#21
Party in my pants
Like most people with motorcycles they park them wherever they please… they are sooooo special.
Sep 10, 2010 at 5:59 am rating: 90
#22
Splint Chesthair
Part of the disagreement here is that there are two different types of neighborhoods in the world, one where parking in front of someone elses house is indeed an odd thing to do. Another where street parking is a commodity and claiming street spots is idiotic. I’ve lived in both during my formative years. But can you imagine someone moving from one to the other without realizing this fact? It would take some getting used to and certainly make others uncomfortable. When in Rome…
Of course I live in a place where we do actually own the street and sidewalk in front of our homes, so that helps with idiots. “You don’t OWN the street, man!” “Actually, yes I do, right to the middle, feel free to park on the other side.”
Sep 10, 2010 at 6:27 am rating: 90
#23
hippie
If you have the time and energy to get this worked up over parking, you are too damned dependent on your car!
Get a bicycle. Parking problem: Solved.
Sep 10, 2010 at 7:03 am rating: 90
#24
HappyNat
Julie,
Let me guess, you live in Victorian Village. Pretentious pricks.
Sep 10, 2010 at 7:36 am rating: 90
#25
bullwinkle
This recalls the koo-koo crazy man who got out of his car cursing when I didn’t park my vespa directly in the middle of a parking space. I never park in the middle. You can fit two + motorcycles and hell, four scooters in one space. Riders who take up an entire space with their craptastic motorcycle, now that bugs me.
Sep 10, 2010 at 8:26 am rating: 90
#26
the Librarian
The parents of a close friend of mine live across the street from one of these self-appointed parking police officers. Not only does she not want people to park in front of her house, she has asked people to clean up oil stains on the street if their car leaked! I used to drive quite an old jalopy and would intentionally park in front of her house when I was over there because…fuck her. It’s a street.
Sep 10, 2010 at 8:28 am rating: 90
#27
susan
This all reminds me of when I first moved into my current house years ago. In her first contact with us, my next door neighbor came knocking. “You can’t park there, that’s MY spot.” Pointing to the old POS in the street equally between our two houses.
Problem for her was, it wasn’t a car associated with us, not ours not our guest’s. Told her all that, pointed out that our driveway only had 4 cars in it with space for 3 more, we didn’t need the street anyway, and sent her on her way. Welcome to the neighborhood!
Sep 10, 2010 at 8:50 am rating: 90
#28
Le Lac
I’m guessing the PA note receiver doesn’t have a driveway and more than 2 vehicles (at least 2 cars and a bike). Otherwise, it makes no sense to park on the curb on the opposite side of the street; you’d naturally want to park as close to your house as possible.
In Suburbia where everyone has two car driveways (at least), it would be ridiculous to take up your neighbor’s plot o’ street with your car. Then, I can see why the neighbors would get annoyed as you and your family/friends trample all over their little strip of public easement land (the bit between the road and the sidewalk).
Sep 10, 2010 at 9:35 am rating: 90
#29
Splint Chesthair
I forgot to mention that scarce street parking is a great way to make quick beer money. Back in college on gamedays, my friends and I would get up early (stay up all night) and get every car we could find and park it on the street in prime locations near the stadium. Then when the people start showing up, hold a sign that says “I’ll move for $20.” This also worked for concerts and such.
Sep 10, 2010 at 10:07 am rating: 90
#30
Panda
I understand that in a lot of places, street parking is a commodity, and you can’t expect to have a spot reserved in front of your home, but in a lot of other places, you can! In my neighborhood hardly anyone has a driveway or garage, and people have to park in front of their houses. It’s a real nuisance when you drive home to find that your neighbor accross the street has decided to park in front of your house again, despite the fact that there are two free spaces in front of their house.
Sep 10, 2010 at 10:37 am rating: 90
#31
con
Isn’t the real issue that the neighbor didn’t knock on the door, say hello, perhaps offer some zucchini bread, and then politely raise the parking issue? Sure each ‘hood has its own rules, but delivering them by anon note is…dare I say…PA????
Sep 10, 2010 at 10:49 am rating: 90
#32
js
Must have been German Village.
Sep 10, 2010 at 11:54 am rating: 90
#33
GhostWriter
The parking spot isn’t the real issue- I can’t stand seeing motorcycles on any street. Parking them up my ass in front of my house aggravates things moreso. Do I appreciate that your bike only takes up 2.5 feet? No- I am annoyed that you squeeze in where you’re not wanted. Often I’ve circled a full Walmart parking lot in my SUV, to finally chance upon a nice close spot near the door. Then, after I triumphantly park, here comes you with your Vespa and your stupid chrome helmet, squeezing in between me and the Handicapped spot! WTF? You didn’t even have to look around! What the Hell are motor scooters allowed on the roads for anyways? A safe road-worthy vehicle should require a minimum of three wheels- what if suddenly motorized unicycles were allowed to be licensed? Where’s your Reverse? I’m telling you- the parking spot ISN”T THE ISSUE!
Sep 10, 2010 at 12:49 pm rating: 90
#34
Melanie
1) It’s a PUBLIC street. That means that anyone can park anywhere they wish at any time. Well, unless there are signs restricting parking to certain times of the day. Notewriter BOUGHT a house on a PUBLIC street WITHOUT a driveway. If she wanted prime parking she should have considered a different abode.
2) To all the people saying Julie should have parked in front of her house anways: maybe someone was already parked in front of her house because it is a PUBLIC street. What is she supposed to do, go park 10 blocks away when the spot across the street is open because her neighbor laid “claim” to it? C’mon.
And 3) What would everyone’s argument be if the PUBLIC street had legal parking only on one side? If I live in a house on the non-parking side, does that mean I’m not allowed to park across the street if there’s a free spot because my neighbor may have dibsed it?
And Julie, you should park wherever your little heart desires. It’s a public street that you pay just as much tax for. In fact, I’d park there every. single. day. just out of spite.
Sep 10, 2010 at 1:17 pm rating: 90
#35
jww
1. I am personally acquainted with Julie and should state for the record that she is awesome, and I would expect her to screw with you intentionally only if you really deserved it.
2. I find it interesting that she doesn’t mandate that Julie park in front of her own place, but that she park on the correct side of the street. Look at the underlined words on the back: “your” and “our.” Subtext: anywhere but here, you icky motorcycle rider.
3. Lists with only two items feel incomplete.
Sep 10, 2010 at 2:07 pm rating: 90
#36
Elorel
Lots of parking rage! If you moved to NYC, you would feel so much better. The passive aggression of the suburbs is replaced by 100% real aggression on the subway.
If you try to claim space on the subway, you will be nudged, headbutted, and bodychecked out of it, in that order. Further, there is no crying in baseball, and there is no notewriting on the subway. To do so would mess up the ‘regimin’.
Sep 10, 2010 at 4:57 pm rating: 90
#37
oi
I bet the note writer is a woman or gay.
Sep 10, 2010 at 5:54 pm rating: 90
#38
Kate
Damn, you can park ONLY two cars infront of your house.
Might I suggest you come and live here in the UK in a terrace house.
My house is so small you cannot fit ONE car outside it.
I’m not kidding, why do you think we drive Smarts!
Sep 11, 2010 at 7:13 am rating: 90
#39
Canthz_B
When I lived on a short residential street in NJ, we pretty much had an unspoken agreement as to who parked where.
On occasion one may come home and find a car parked in ones space. It’s annoying, but not earth-shattering, and the other driver had every right to park in a vacant space when they came to visit my neighbor.
How were they to know they were in “my” space?
New residents weren’t a problem, because when the old resident moved, for some reason they took their car with them.
Where I am now we have assigned covered parking, and I have no problem having a car in my assigned space towed at the owner’s expense.
Sep 11, 2010 at 2:22 pm rating: 90
#40
She Ra
When I bought my house, I invited some friends over for a house warming party. I have a garage and a driveway that fits two cars. A lot of parking, but not enough for a party, so other friends parked in the street in front of my house. One parked in the area between myself and the people next door. They came banging on the door and demanded we move that car because it was “2’4″ on their property”. It wasn’t on their property at all, just in front of their side yard. The guy across the street saw the neighbors measuring the extent of our crime and came over and offered all of the public street in front of his house we wanted. We moved the car in front of his house because I didn’t want to start a war so early in my residence here. Two months later they were foreclosed on and forced to move. It was only time I’ve ever been happy to see someone experience that misfortune. Every day for those first two months, they came over to complain about something. Either I watered my backyard too long and some of their dirt yard got wet so their dogs got muddy or 10am was an “ungodly time” to mow the lawn, etc. I wish they’d left me notes…
Sep 12, 2010 at 2:13 pm rating: 90
#41
anglophile
Gigglebrax fail.
Sep 12, 2010 at 7:29 pm rating: 90
#42
Buck
I understand not wanting to have to walk extra distances. I also know that we are all venting our thoughts. Life can be hard for all of us. We don’t have to agree, but it is great that we can vent to total strangers. In doing this, we open ourselves up to kindness and harshness. Good parking to all. Thanks
Sep 13, 2010 at 12:44 am rating: 90
#43
Columbus Native
When I went to OSU, we just stole some orange cones and stuck them in our spots when we left….and we carried mace at all times. Then the guy down the street who kept shooting off shot guns and our neighbor getting murdered got tiresome…so I moved off campus.
Sep 14, 2010 at 8:00 am rating: 90
#44
Be reasonable
The note was bitchy. But so is parking in front of someone else’s house consistently, whether it’s just your motorcycle or your car. I live in Columbus and there are some neighborhoods that are solely street parking and since you can’t park the wrong way on a street, maybe someone was parking on the other side because that was the way they came home, and they didn’t want to turn around. But then that took another resident’s spot, and it just made it a pain in the ass for everyone.
I hate it more the people who will park in front of my house and be about 6 inches from my mailbox. It’s too close for the mailtruck to be able to turn and get in and put mail in, so they will just skip our house, which sucks. After several of those days, I was ready to leave a PAN
Oct 3, 2010 at 5:21 pm rating: 90
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