Joe is an elementary school teacher in Long Beach, California. On the last day of summer school, he got this goodbye letter from one of his students. “It was really cute and sweet,” Joe says. “However, she does mention in the card that I am ‘not that smart.’ I asked her why she thought that, and apparently it’s because she saw me ask another teacher a question about grammar. Hilarious.”
Brandy in Citrus Heights, California received a note with a similar mixed message from her then-six-year-old daughter, who’s now 14. Really, I’m just glad just this letter wasn’t signed “love, your girlfriend.” Because that would not be cute.
related: Mommy, I love you sometimes!!!!
extra credit: So Nice, So Smart [iLike]
58 responses so far ↓
#1
John
I’d say calling your daughter Ocean is a mean act.
Sep 15, 2010 at 6:48 pm rating: 134
#2
Jason
i can’t believe someone already beat me to the whole “Ocean thing.” wait, yes i can.
Sep 15, 2010 at 7:00 pm rating: 8
#3
JetJackson
I would have corrected the grammar and spelling mistakes and handed the note back to Michelle.
Sep 15, 2010 at 7:13 pm rating: 37
#4
mark
someone totally beat me to the ocean comment. That does qualify as a mean (and potentially passive-aggressive?) act against your child.
Sep 15, 2010 at 7:25 pm rating: 5
#5
Nack
Pshaw. You people obviously haven’t heard the song “Boy named Sue”. I advocate this naming of Ocean. She’s already forming well!
I like the signing of the first note with “cool”. If you say it enough, it will come true, right?
Sep 15, 2010 at 9:11 pm rating: 6
#6
dotpolka
That ocean comment was fucking delicious!
Sep 15, 2010 at 9:16 pm rating: 3
#7
Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)
Apparently Ocean was going to let her mommy’s meanness be water under the bridge.
Sep 15, 2010 at 9:29 pm rating: 8
#8
TippingCows
Only in California from a mom named “Brandy” could a lesbian with a budding Oedipus complex named Ocean exist.
Sep 15, 2010 at 10:35 pm rating: 7
#9
Canthz_B
Joe is probably a really funny teacher, and the kids seem to have had fun with him this summer, but he should have spent a little more time teaching spelling.
Maybe even a day or two on poetry as well.
Sep 16, 2010 at 12:44 am rating: 11
#10
Canthz_B
Brandy must be a really good mom. She noticed from the hidden message in her card that her “daughter” was signaling that she was sinking fast.
Ocean is now a happy, healthy 14 year-old despite the constant crap she takes about her name.
Sep 16, 2010 at 12:59 am rating: 1
#11
EARL HAMSHER
I hate the stupid non-name thing. Why would your kid sign it “from your girlfriend?” I don’t even understand the comment. I feel bad for that kid.
Sep 16, 2010 at 1:02 am rating: 2
#12
Matthew
Unrequited love, elementary school style:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/suomynona/4208785016/
Yes, I wrote that.
Sep 16, 2010 at 2:35 am rating: 7
#13
pasquared
Ocean, is your mom nice or mean? Make up your mind already!
Sep 16, 2010 at 2:42 am rating: 3
#14
Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)
Do you suppose a girl named Ocean prefers Tide laundry detergent?
So many punchlines, so little time…
Sep 16, 2010 at 5:23 am rating: 8
#15
Canthz_B
Can’t wait to see the note Ocean leaves in her company’s break room ten years from now.
It’s gonna be worth the wait.
We should establish a PAN scholarship for prodigies like her! Here’s my $5.75
Sep 16, 2010 at 8:53 am rating: 2
#16
Michelle
The average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it ejaculates, but only 10% of that actually makes it into his mate. So 360 gallons are spilled into (the) ocean every time one unloads, and you wonder why (the) ocean is so salty…
hahahaha
Sep 16, 2010 at 10:20 am rating: 4
#17
Divvitar
So when little Ocean vomits, does her name change to Tsunami?
Sep 16, 2010 at 1:40 pm rating: 4
#18
Sarah Ashley
I know someone who named one of her kids “Zero.” Seriously, I kid you not. His middle name is “Mercury.”
Sep 16, 2010 at 2:24 pm rating: 4
#19
Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)
Little Ocean is a hit at basketball games. She’s always doing The Wave.
Sep 16, 2010 at 7:07 pm rating: 0
#20
Iris
Is the title of this a Kimya Dawson reference? If so, yay!
Sep 17, 2010 at 7:49 am rating: 1
#21
Edwina the Defrocked Nun
Joe must have been teaching the class free verse – because the compulsion to rhyme a following line with “blue” is enormous. When I saw the letter end with “it” rather than “you” or “too,” I thought, “You go, Michelle! You go, Joe!”
Sep 17, 2010 at 10:44 am rating: 1
#22
Adriana
I used to live in Citrus Heights, CA and I knew a Brandy while living there. If this is the same Brandy, then I’m somehow not surprised that she named her kid Ocean.
Sep 20, 2010 at 11:31 am rating: 0
#23 Teacher Appreciation: Letters from First Graders | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: (Not) so nice, (Not) so smart [...]
Jun 6, 2011 at 1:08 pm rating: 0
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