(Not) So Nice, (Not) So Smart

September 15th, 2010 · 58 comments

Joe is an elementary school teacher in Long Beach, California. On the last day of summer school, he got this goodbye letter from one of his students. “It was really cute and sweet,” Joe says. “However, she does mention in the card that I am ‘not that smart.’ I asked her why she thought that, and apparently it’s because she saw me ask another teacher a question about grammar. Hilarious.”

You are so funny, and not that smart

Brandy in Citrus Heights, California received a note with a similar mixed message from her then-six-year-old daughter, who’s now 14. Really, I’m just glad just this letter wasn’t signed “love, your girlfriend.” Because that would not be cute.

I love you very much and you are very nice. I hope you stay with me forever and ever even though you are mean to me. I still love you! Love your daughter Ocean.

related: Mommy, I love you sometimes!!!!

extra credit: So Nice, So Smart [iLike]

FILED UNDER: California · kids · Mother-daughter notes · schools & teachers · signed with love


58 responses so far ↓

  • #1   John

    I’d say calling your daughter Ocean is a mean act.

    Sep 15, 2010 at 6:48 pm   rating: 136  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   park rose

      I like it just swell. I think it’s a rip-per name.

      Sep 15, 2010 at 8:43 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   anglophile bang

      So many times parents get caught up in a tide of emotion, carried away with the current trend of naming, and waves of strange names suddenly become popular.

      Sep 15, 2010 at 8:51 pm   rating: 74  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Chrys

      I always say that I’m going to name my child computer.

      Sep 15, 2010 at 9:09 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   park rose

      A microchip off the old block.

      Sep 16, 2010 at 12:23 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Canthz_B bang

      Naming her child Ocean shows she thinks big, and it’s better than naming her after an ocean…or a sea for that matter. Imagine, she could have named her Baltic…or Dead!

      Sep 16, 2010 at 12:49 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   MAMARILLA2 bang

      I think they went off the deep end, found themselves drowning in choices and dove for the first name that floated by.

      Sep 16, 2010 at 7:29 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Elmo

      I have a neighbor named Ocean — his last name is pronounced (though not spelled) City. His brother is named Pacific. Their sister is Ethel — how boring.

      I also know two brothers named — no joke — Irony and Omen.

      Sep 16, 2010 at 8:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   Clumber

      And the grandchildren then would be little Flotsam and precocious Jetsam?

      Sep 16, 2010 at 8:15 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   park rose

      CB, 1.15, better dead than red!

      Sep 16, 2010 at 4:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   WMDKitty

      Ocean…. *facepalm*

      Sep 17, 2010 at 12:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Jason

    i can’t believe someone already beat me to the whole “Ocean thing.” wait, yes i can.

    Sep 15, 2010 at 7:00 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Maas

      I know, right? I was going to name my kids “Ocean” too!

      Sep 17, 2010 at 2:25 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   JetJackson

    I would have corrected the grammar and spelling mistakes and handed the note back to Michelle.

    Sep 15, 2010 at 7:13 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      That is very much mean..

      Sep 16, 2010 at 2:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Limeliberator bang

      I’m sorry, Jet. That was so funny.. but not that smasrt.

      Sep 16, 2010 at 9:42 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   mark

    someone totally beat me to the ocean comment. That does qualify as a mean (and potentially passive-aggressive?) act against your child.

    Sep 15, 2010 at 7:25 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Nack

    Pshaw. You people obviously haven’t heard the song “Boy named Sue”. I advocate this naming of Ocean. She’s already forming well!

    I like the signing of the first note with “cool”. If you say it enough, it will come true, right?

    Sep 15, 2010 at 9:11 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   zenvelo

      you mean she is forming “swell”…

      Sep 15, 2010 at 9:34 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   H for Toy

      “foaming swell”?

      Sep 15, 2010 at 10:37 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   dotpolka

    That ocean comment was fucking delicious!

    Sep 15, 2010 at 9:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   MAMARILLA2 bang

      Wo! Come quick.

      Sep 16, 2010 at 2:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Canthz_B bang

      Drinking sea water can kill you. Go ahead, make my day!

      Sep 16, 2010 at 2:42 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      dotpolka, I hate you.

      Sep 16, 2010 at 7:18 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   dotpolka

      Did I beat you to the ocean comment comment?

      Sep 16, 2010 at 9:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)

    Apparently Ocean was going to let her mommy’s meanness be water under the bridge.

    Sep 15, 2010 at 9:29 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   TippingCows

    Only in California from a mom named “Brandy” could a lesbian with a budding Oedipus complex named Ocean exist.

    Sep 15, 2010 at 10:35 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Mina

      That’s so not true. We have buckets of them over here on the East Coast, too.

      Sep 15, 2010 at 11:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Cara

      ” And coming up next on the main pole stage is Ocean!”

      Sep 16, 2010 at 8:33 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    Joe is probably a really funny teacher, and the kids seem to have had fun with him this summer, but he should have spent a little more time teaching spelling.
    Maybe even a day or two on poetry as well.

    Sep 16, 2010 at 12:44 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    Brandy must be a really good mom. She noticed from the hidden message in her card that her “daughter” was signaling that she was sinking fast.
    Ocean is now a happy, healthy 14 year-old despite the constant crap she takes about her name.

    Sep 16, 2010 at 12:59 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   EARL HAMSHER

    I hate the stupid non-name thing. Why would your kid sign it “from your girlfriend?” I don’t even understand the comment. I feel bad for that kid.

    Sep 16, 2010 at 1:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Canthz_B bang

      Your daughter wouldn’t sign it that way…but imagine the exact same words being sent to you by your girlfriend.

      That’s creepy, right?

      *slowly backs away*

      Sep 16, 2010 at 1:10 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Sirius¤ bang

      Well, not as creepy as if the first note was signed that way-

      Sep 16, 2010 at 2:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Matthew

    Unrequited love, elementary school style:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/suomynona/4208785016/

    Yes, I wrote that.

    Sep 16, 2010 at 2:35 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Iris

      Awww, you fell down every day for her?

      Sep 16, 2010 at 6:45 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Limeliberator bang

      aww.. That’s cute. I had a crush on a boy in kindergarten. I kicked him in the nuts every day to show how much I cared. I wonder if he’s had children yet.

      Sep 16, 2010 at 9:52 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   pasquared

    Ocean, is your mom nice or mean? Make up your mind already!

    Sep 16, 2010 at 2:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Limeliberator bang

      I think she realized that she was sounding like a kiss-ass and tried to backtrack.

      Sep 16, 2010 at 9:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)

    Do you suppose a girl named Ocean prefers Tide laundry detergent?

    So many punchlines, so little time…

    Sep 16, 2010 at 5:23 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Mo®

      If you put your ear up to her you can hear the ocean.

      Sep 16, 2010 at 8:30 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   H for Toy

      Wonder if she’ll always date older men, ala Hemingway?

      Sep 16, 2010 at 10:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Mo® bang

      WHAT! Papa Hemingway dated older men!?!?!?
      ( Old man and the sea formerly titled “Old man and the cabana boy” ) :grin:

      Sep 16, 2010 at 1:16 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    Can’t wait to see the note Ocean leaves in her company’s break room ten years from now.
    It’s gonna be worth the wait.
    We should establish a PAN scholarship for prodigies like her! Here’s my $5.75

    Sep 16, 2010 at 8:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Limeliberator bang

      I’d actually prefer to see Michelle’s note in the future. She’s going to be a hot mess!

      Sep 16, 2010 at 9:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Michelle

    The average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it ejaculates, but only 10% of that actually makes it into his mate. So 360 gallons are spilled into (the) ocean every time one unloads, and you wonder why (the) ocean is so salty…
    hahahaha

    Sep 16, 2010 at 10:20 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Mo® bang

      is this future Michelle?

      Sep 16, 2010 at 1:17 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   farcical aquatic ceremony

      that’s the best, gross fact(oid?) I’ve heard in a good, long while~thanks, Cool Michelle :-)

      plus, now I know that I’m not gaining weight, it’s that seawater I just swam in–I’m gestating! Sure, it’ll be a painful birth, but they ARE a threatened species, so it’ll be worth it…

      Sep 16, 2010 at 2:47 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   Canthz_B bang

      Is that all whales, or just sperm whales?

      Sep 16, 2010 at 8:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   Michelle

      It’s just ocean. :) I think all whales may apply.

      Sep 16, 2010 at 11:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Divvitar

    So when little Ocean vomits, does her name change to Tsunami?

    Sep 16, 2010 at 1:40 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Sarah Ashley

    I know someone who named one of her kids “Zero.” Seriously, I kid you not. His middle name is “Mercury.”

    Sep 16, 2010 at 2:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)

    Little Ocean is a hit at basketball games. She’s always doing The Wave.

    Sep 16, 2010 at 7:07 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Iris

    Is the title of this a Kimya Dawson reference? If so, yay!

    Sep 17, 2010 at 7:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Edwina the Defrocked Nun

    Joe must have been teaching the class free verse – because the compulsion to rhyme a following line with “blue” is enormous. When I saw the letter end with “it” rather than “you” or “too,” I thought, “You go, Michelle! You go, Joe!”

    Sep 17, 2010 at 10:44 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Adriana

    I used to live in Citrus Heights, CA and I knew a Brandy while living there. If this is the same Brandy, then I’m somehow not surprised that she named her kid Ocean.

    Sep 20, 2010 at 11:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   MAMARILLA2 bang


      The sailor said ” Brandy, you’re a fine girl” (you’re a fine girl)
      “What a good wife you would be” (such a fine girl)
      “But my life, my lover, my lady is the sea”

      Sep 20, 2010 at 3:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Teacher Appreciation: Letters from First Graders | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

    [...] related: (Not) so nice, (Not) so smart [...]

    Jun 6, 2011 at 1:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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