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Why you shouldn’t piss off the copywriter

September 17th, 2010 · 37 comments

Anna in Providence noticed this Seinfeld-esque gem in an advertisement from a 1970 Yankee magazine. (“I guess somebody didn’t get to keep the bag,” she says.)

Two of my people with our handbags on fantastic shoulders - Janet on the left with the handmade double bag. Price $22.95. Janice on the right, who aggravates me constantly, has our adjustable strap, handlaced roomy hand stained bag. Price $28.95

related: The cable guy’s revenge

extra credit: Catalog Living blog

 

FILED UNDER: bad sales pitch · WTF?


37 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Adaiha

    I kind of want to see the whole ad. “There is nothing like the feel of leather on your” what…? Even if it didn’t outright insult the one lady, this copy is written strangely. Was it common back then for all of this “my people” “our handbags” “my handmade leather pants” business to appear in ads?

    Sep 17, 2010 at 1:11 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

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    • #1.1   farcical aquatic ceremony

      “There is nothing like the feel of leather on your–”

      “–skin to make you realize that –DAMN!– I’m wearin’ two f*ckin’ layers of skin!!”

      Sep 17, 2010 at 1:32 pm   rating: 72  small thumbs up

       

    • #1.2   TheOldSchool bang

      It’s fairly obvious to me that the copy writer has never experienced the sensual delight that comes from being ensconced in a pair of snugly-fitting imitation naugahyde slacks.

      The comfort is only enhanced by the feeling of security one gets from knowing that these trousers are also stain-risistent and fire retardant. (Thanks to our patented “wipe ‘em off ‘n’ go” technology.)

      These slacks are indestructable. Our promise to you is that they will still be around long after even the last of our decaying planet’s cockroaches and maggots have all died their horrible little deaths.

      Welcome to the world of immortality, my friend. Welcome to the world of imitation nauga-hyde slacks.

      Call now to order. For you, I make special deal.

      Sep 17, 2010 at 2:27 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       

    • #1.3   dbm

      Are they Sansabelt bell bottoms?

      Sep 17, 2010 at 5:01 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       

    • #1.4   Canthz_B bang

      I think it’s all too sad to contemplate. Do you know how many naugas have to die to make that pair of slacks?…Let alone how the poor things are treated in life before their little heads are bashed in for their hides…

      Sep 18, 2010 at 3:58 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       

    • #1.5   Janellionaire

      it’s ok, they’re just imitation naugas. nobody cares about them.

      Sep 18, 2010 at 6:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       

    • #1.6   Canthz_B bang

      Naugajekyls?

      Sep 19, 2010 at 1:21 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       

    • #1.7   Jason

      “imitation naugahyde” – doesn’t hold a candle to genuine naugahyde…

      Sep 20, 2010 at 12:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
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  • #2   farcical aquatic ceremony

    Did “hand stained bag” sound more appealing in 1970? (Maybe only if you were on a lot of drugs..?)

    Sep 17, 2010 at 1:25 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

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    • #2.1   Becky

      I guess hand stained would be preferrable to OTHER ways it could be stained…?

      Sep 17, 2010 at 5:26 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       

    • #2.2   Canthz_B bang

      In the seventies almost all of my HS class had drug-stained hands.

      Sep 18, 2010 at 4:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
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  • #3   oi

    I want to cry fake because I see passiveaggressivenotes.com fitting nicely below that picture (and mostly because I like stirring up trouble) Also the language is so strange. Speaking of which what is a hand stained bag? Does Janice smeared the stuff with her own hand? How’s that suppose to make it better?

    Sep 17, 2010 at 2:27 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

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    • #3.1   park rose

      Perhaps Janice was being punished for being aggressive and had to carry the hand stained bag and wear a hairshirt – or at the very least, a pair of TOS’ snugly-fitting imitation naugahyde slacks.

      Sep 17, 2010 at 3:25 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.2   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      Call Paul’s Boutique in Brooklyn. Ask for Janice.

      Sep 18, 2010 at 12:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
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  • #4   D

    yep, noticed the passiveaggressivenotes.com in the corner, too… other pictures on here don’t have it, why this one? weird, weird ad!

    Sep 17, 2010 at 2:39 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

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  • #5   Bunnee

    “Janice, on the right, who aggravates me constantly, has our adjustable strap, which I’m going to ‘adjust’ around her neck.”

    Sep 17, 2010 at 4:06 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

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  • #6   Bunnee

    Oooooohhh! In the picture on the top left, I believe they’re wearing leather, fringed ponchos!

    The 70′s–wow.

    Sep 17, 2010 at 4:10 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

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    • #6.1   TheOldSchool bang

      Please Avoid Wearing Loose-Fitting Attire Near The Office Shredder.

      Sep 18, 2010 at 11:06 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       

    • #6.2   Limeliberator bang

      They needed something colorful to set off their leather sombreros. I wonder if this office condones siestas…

      Sep 20, 2010 at 2:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
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  • #7   H for Toy bang

    She may be aggravating, but she has fantastic shoulders!

    Sep 17, 2010 at 6:22 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

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    • #7.1   TheOldSchool bang

      She may be aggravating, but her smirk confidently announces: “The doors to my vagina are now permanently closed to men.”

      Sep 18, 2010 at 11:22 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
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  • #8   Chrys

    It seems fishy to me. I just don’t see “our handbags” costing 22.95 and 28.95 in the 70s.

    Sep 17, 2010 at 10:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

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    • #8.1   bullwinkle

      28.95 in 1970 was like five thousand dollars, wasn’t it?

      Sep 17, 2010 at 10:42 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       

    • #8.2   Clarice

      Enough to buy a car, at least.

      Sep 18, 2010 at 6:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       

    • #8.3   TheOldSchool bang

      Actually, the median price for cars sold in 1970 was $35 and two grams of hash.

      Sep 18, 2010 at 11:26 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       

    • #8.4   MAMARILLA2 bang

      And it ran..

      Sep 18, 2010 at 11:27 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
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  • #9   TheOldSchool bang

    I’m surprised that more major league baseball clubs don’t follow the New York Yankees example and promote hand-crafted fashion in their team magazines. Guys get tired of reading just about sports.

    Sep 18, 2010 at 11:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

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    • #9.1   Canthz_B bang

      Just a small glimse of the late George Steinbrenner’s sensitive side.

      Sep 18, 2010 at 4:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
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  • #10   MrkdPhase

    The way it sounds to me, these two girls just love each other.

    Sep 18, 2010 at 10:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    Talent agent:

    Yes, Janice, I know I said you had a shot at the Brady Bunch part…but I’m sure you can get the handbag model gig…just try not to be such a bitch this time.

    Janice:

    Okay, but if I don’t get to show the handmade double bag, I’m going to aggravate the shit outta them…that goes double if I have to model the hand-stained piece.

    Sep 19, 2010 at 2:47 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

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  • #12   Deep Candle

    “Janet, on the left, who is common street trash, wear’s our handmade leather…”

    Sep 19, 2010 at 6:51 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

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    • #12.1   TippingCows

      “Deep Candle, above-left, who is a Philistine, has engaged in apostrophe abuse for the last time.”

      Sep 19, 2010 at 4:38 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       

    • #12.2   park rose

      On Janice’s shoulder, of course!

      Sep 19, 2010 at 7:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       

    • #12.3   Deep Candle

      “TippingCows, who is a zoophile, needs to accept that Grammar Nazism went out in the late 90′s.”

      Sep 25, 2010 at 10:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
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  • #13   Asmk

    Here is the whole thing in case you still want the feel of leather on your… Fortunately the contact info is still on the bottom if you want to order! As for the language, Yankee magazine has a pretty odd tone overall. We are ‘folksy’ here in NE.

    http://lh3.ggpht.com/_0x6rk_ZLr_g/TJemJJZLIgI/AAAAAAAAPWo/OabZzQLHHrw/s512/Yankee.jpg

    Sep 20, 2010 at 1:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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  • #14   Haales

    is it just me, or did they mean “Friends” instead of “Seinfeld”?? i don’t remember a specific Janice from Seinfeld, but i seem to remember a constant character Janice, from Friends…a small detail in the long run, i know, but to a TV geek like myself, it’s a tiny annoyance :)

    Sep 22, 2010 at 4:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

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  • #15   sarah

    Janice really does look like a bitch.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 6:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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