No, your children will never appreciate the weight you gained for them.

September 22nd, 2010 · 55 comments

So, the other day, Olivia’s mother and aunt were having a conversation, and her Mom was fretting about how she’d been overeating this week and how she was going back on her diet the very next day and blahblahblahwhydon’tgrown-upsevertalkaboutanythinginteresting.

Olivia says this inspired her eavesdropping 7-year-old sister to post this helpful reminder where their Mom gets ready in the morning, just to make sure she wouldn’t forget!

mommy please do not eat to much. you must eat frutes and vechtubles. Love Amanda. and you will be butifle enitimes and you will be skiny all times.

related: Please don’t take this the wrong way, pregnant lady, but have you considered Weight Watchers?

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · heart · hey fatty · Houston · Mother-daughter notes · signed with love


55 responses so far ↓

  • #1   cali

    aWWWW. So cute., So sad. Your mother expanded for you. You have no idea how much. Someday, sweetie, you will know. And then, you will have to eat fruits and vegetables and then you will be beautiful. Meanwhile stop watching TV. It is totally brainwashing you. Now go do the dishes you ungrateful wretch.

    Sep 22, 2010 at 9:55 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   heh

      Or you could just choose to not have kids and stay sexy and desirable.

      Sep 24, 2010 at 10:52 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Tobi

    Enitimes… any times? Sorry I don’t speak 7 year-old.

    Sep 22, 2010 at 10:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   H for Toy

      I think she meant you’ll be beautiful anytime and skinny all the time, but I could be wrong. It could be enmities or possibly enemas (which, I hear, are a great way to lose weight.)

      Sep 22, 2010 at 10:41 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Captain Hugs

      It is possible she’s from East London, in which cases it’s just ‘enit’ and also a student at Universidade Municipal de São Caetano do Sul (thank you define: imes)

      Sep 22, 2010 at 11:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   spoko

      I think she wants her to be beautiful for the end times. To which we should all aspire.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 10:25 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Rebecca

    The kid was probably fine with her mom’s weight until she overheard the conversation, and now she’s worried.

    Sep 22, 2010 at 10:23 pm   rating: 51  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Michelle

      ^^ yup. Have you seen the interviews with young girls who are afraid of getting fat? (that may have been on Maury lol) It all goes back to the mom, making a big deal of her butt that looks like two hams. :)

      Sep 23, 2010 at 1:23 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Elorel

      Mm, Christmas ham butts.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 10:38 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   MrEleganza

    Yes, I would also like the part between “Love Amanda. And you will be…” and “…and you will be skiny all times” translated for me.

    Sep 22, 2010 at 10:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Nack

      “Mommy, please do not eat too much. You must eat fruits and vegetables. Love, Amanda. And you will be beautiful any time and skinny all the time.”

      She really said “beautiful anytimes” and “skinny all times”…but that’s the translation.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 1:38 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   H for Toy

    Personally, I’d rather be fat than have to carry my smiling, disembodied head around.

    Sep 22, 2010 at 10:44 pm   rating: 56  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   KoS

      Yeah, the disembodied head was kind of disturbing to me, too. Is she supposed to get so skinny that her neck simply disappears?

      Sep 22, 2010 at 10:50 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Captain Hugs

      1, 2, (03 x disembodied head)/(skinny body + adult diaper) a lady

      Sep 22, 2010 at 11:12 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   The Elf

      I thought she was suggesting a quick way to lose a lot of weight. You can eat fruits and vegetables, or you can just chop of your own head.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 7:07 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   clumber

      See, and I thought it was a threat. Get skinny or Daddy will find your head on your pillow some morning.

      Sep 27, 2010 at 9:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Jacqui

    What idiot 7 year old can’t spell “fruit”? Oh, probably one whose mother doesn’t know what it is.

    Sep 22, 2010 at 10:52 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Nack

      Probably the same idiot kid that grew up not to have kids of their own to know kids don’t spell well for some time.

      Seven-year-olds are still working at spelling, hence why they have spelling-bees. That’s second grade, for reference.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 1:35 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   TippingCows

      A 7 year-old whose parents waited for her to get into school before she learned how to read and write.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 3:11 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Jonathan

    If I wanted to see this sort of thing I’d read lolkids. Unsubscribering.

    Sep 22, 2010 at 10:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   jadefirefly

      Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!

      Seriously, we just painted it, and we don’t need an ass-print in the paint.

      Sep 22, 2010 at 11:18 pm   rating: 48  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   rage

      seriously. i keep waiting for this site to get back to its PA roots. not interested in a “funny, cute, crazy notes” page. the PA stuff was what made it great. maybe change the name or something if this is all it’s going to be now.

      Sep 22, 2010 at 11:56 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Kat

      I agree with rage. There’s entirely too many of these lately.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 12:50 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   say wha?

      Really? There is a new post everyday…. Notes are submitted, then they need to be sifted through, and picked to cater to all of your ever changing moods. Sorry you don’t like the kid ones. I do. Some feel somewhere in between. Just wait–tomorrow there will be a different note with a different story and author. Maybe you’ll like that one better. Maybe you won’t. Get over it.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 4:22 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Llama

      Oh, you’re funny. That’s humor, right?

      Because I just went back to mid-August in the archives, and this was one of two whole posts featuring notes from children. Stand back! Its an epidemic! The site has been taken over by rampant breeeeeeeeders!

      I get that not every post is going to do it for you. The notes people submit from public or semi-public restrooms usually turn my stomach. I really, really don’t want to think about some of the disgusting things those notes address.

      But that’s the price of admission. I don’t pick the submissions that get posted, I’m not going to find all of them amusing or relevant to my life.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 5:54 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   Llama

      Also, I say that as a person who doesn’t really like this post, either. It’s not funny, it’s disturbing.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 5:57 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   Canthz_B bang

      Funny, I keep waiting for people who think they ought to be allowed to work as site editor-in-chief to stop coming around here leaving comments.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 6:00 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   Woman on the Verge bang

      *sigh* If you don’t like it, leave. Oh, wait. Let me put that passive-aggressively:

      Gee, I’m so glad you’re here to point out every perceived flaw on the site! Thanks!

      Sep 23, 2010 at 7:17 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.9   anglophile bang

      Could someone please direct me to the free amusing website Jonathan has made for us that has five fresh posts every week? I’m afraid I’m having difficulty finding it. I wish to subscriber.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 7:55 am   rating: 42  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.10   The Elf

      Calm down. No reason to lose your head over this.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 2:49 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.11   rage

      um, no, read the comments again. it’s not an issue with “ever-changing moods” and the idea that the notes aren’t funny enough or aren’t what i want to see today, or are all written by kids, or whatnot. it’s the idea that the website is http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com, and the tagline has now been changed to “funny (if not necessarily passive aggressive) notes…” are you serious? that’s like starting a (heaven forbid) LOLcats page and saying “LOLcats: funny animal pictures, even if not necessarily written in that bizarre lolcats language)”.

      why on earth would you develop a website, and then decide finding passive-aggressive notes was too difficult, and change it to “funny/angry notes.com” and still keep the original name? the branding is completely screwed, and the concept is now something that has already been done by several other blogs: funny notes. boring. “passive-aggressive notes” had a certain appeal. we used to all rave about it on campus. now no one even talks about it anymore. and i’m not tripping, i’m just giving feedback. i rarely check it out anymore, so i’ll be happy to just “un-like” it on facebook so you no longer have to hear our disappointed-yet-valuable feedback, and we no longer have to be disappointed. thanks!

      Sep 25, 2010 at 1:11 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.12   The Elf

      That should be a passive-aggressive note submission.

      Sep 27, 2010 at 9:48 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.13   rage

      kinda the point, elf.

      Sep 27, 2010 at 7:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.14   Canthz_B bang

      “funny (if not necessarily “passive-aggressive”) notes from pissed-off people” has been there for ages.
      It’s not a new tag-line. It’s a sub-title.

      Try clicking on “WTF?”…or just not cruise by here with your pathetic complaints. Frankly, nothing would give me more pleasure than to see college campuses STOP raving about this site.
      Anything you can do to help in this regard would be greatly appreciated. ;-)

      Oct 5, 2010 at 1:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   ISpy

    Nothing is quite so preciously passive aggressive as your 7-year-old daughter drawing you with a pair of granny panties inside a heart.

    Sep 22, 2010 at 11:15 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Nack

      You neglected to mention how her head is separate from her body…. I think that’s adorable, floating heads.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 1:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   whipoorwill

      @ispy… i think they were the hi cut briefs… grannypanties go up over the bellybutton… i cant believe i know that!!

      Sep 23, 2010 at 10:19 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   ISpy

      I can’t believe my granny panties hit just below my belly button. I’ve been robbed.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 12:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Dave

    You know you’re fat when…

    Sep 23, 2010 at 3:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Christine

    Do you think that little drawing underneath is a subtle threat that if she eats too much, her seven year old might decapitate her? lol

    Sep 23, 2010 at 5:05 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    Due to advances in modern science, the life-expectancy of baby fat has increased threefold in only two generations!

    Sep 23, 2010 at 5:55 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   william

    Looks like very much as something phonetically written by an adult to me. Lines are way too clear. And the spelling, as I just said, is just adult phonetic not children mistakes.

    Sep 23, 2010 at 6:04 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Kylie

      Actually, I thought that too.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 5:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Kim

    Yeah, this is exactly why you shouldn’t talk about how terrible your body is and how you need to eat less right away in front of your children. Guess whose genes that little girl inherited? Guess who she’s going to look like when she’s older?

    Setting her up for a lifetime of hating her own body: achieved. Fuck sake.

    Sep 23, 2010 at 7:50 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    The little girl just isn’t really good with words, but she communicates very well in pictures:

    “In 2003 Mommy was happy, but that was before the baby came along.” All this is inside Mommy’s heart.

    I’ll bet they play Pictionary way too often in that house.

    Sep 23, 2010 at 7:53 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   kiki

    that is too funny. my 9 year old asked me “what’s wrong” and why my legs “have lines on them” when i looked to see what he was talking about he points to the cellulite on my thigh and goes “those lines.” damned kids…

    Sep 23, 2010 at 9:09 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   .

    Wow, that’s really sad.

    Sep 23, 2010 at 9:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   that was delicious

    it’s gone too long without being said, those vetchtables were fucking delicious….

    I also found the disembodied granny panties to be disturbing. Kids are so helpful

    Sep 23, 2010 at 9:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   The Elf

      Thank you for selecting “vetchtables” for that particular comment and not “granny panties”.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 10:11 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   park rose

      I think the granny panties are very vetching.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 9:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   The voice of... James Mason

    Maybe the daughter has just realized what her mother hasn’t- that she could shave off 10 lbs. simply by cutting off her head!

    Sep 23, 2010 at 11:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   People are funny

    I love how people post messages on websites like this one, complaining about how something on the site has angered them and that they will not be visiting the site again. Its like they think someone actually cares…like someone out there, sitting at their desk, reading a message board really cares.

    Sep 23, 2010 at 12:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Savannah

      I care. I will be crying for a week over what’s-his-name leaving. I don’t know if I’ll be able to stand it. I’ll probably need counseling.

      Sep 23, 2010 at 1:52 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Not buying it

    I call fake. There’s no way a 7 year old drew that picture. And I agree with an above commenter who pointed out that it looked like adult phonetic.

    Sep 24, 2010 at 8:26 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   katie k

    That’s the saddest note I’ve ever seen. Poor little 7 year old girl already associating food with thinness and thinness with beauty, already understanding what diets are and why women obsess over them. The only food issues she should have are of the “I hope my mom put a Twinkie in my lunchbox so I can trade it for Caitlin’s Fruit Roll-Up” variety.

    Oct 18, 2010 at 4:39 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     

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